Chapter 12

Blithe

@nancy56

Faded#12

Reconciliations are hard. They aren't crazy as shown in movies, they are subtle and slow. They are words like 'I wish to stay' and then you finally get up and walk away to come back again. It's like building a habit to stay closer.

Shravan felt like he was moving in a fluid. He was dreaming, and somewhere he knew it. It was a vast expanse of pines and rhododendrons, and the sky was clear. He felt that he was on a cliff. There was a bench, so lonely, that he felt sad. There was a woman sitting on it. Her sobs were clear as if she wanted him to hear. When he sat beside her, he couldn't recognize her features. She was a maze. 'You were never alone. We were in this together.' she cried harder and Shravan felt some feeling warming his heart. Her voice jingled in his eardrum and suddenly he could look at her and tell that he has known her for years. He wanted to ask who was she? but even before that, he knew it was Suman.
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'Shravan?' Suman called out for the dozing man again. Shravan opened his eyes and looked at her. Her ashen face as if she had toiled for hours together, was now up with some activity. He murmured a small prayer- a thanks. 

He walked to her bedside, her eyes following his every step. Suman tried hard to read his face but failed miserably. He has changed a lot. The Shravan she knew 7 years back was transparent, and Major Shravan Malhotra was the best example of a poker face. She thought if he might be angry with her, but he was so silent that any rage would calm down. It would be so counterproductive to sit and plan when she had to act spontaneously. Going with her wits she decided to be formal. 'Major.' she called out as he sat with a thud on the stool kept beside her bed. 'I... I am obliged, very highly obliged that you came to my rescue. I am ashamed of my nearsightedness.' Suman searched for words to fit in when she really wanted to ask that 'Shravan, why did you think I was worth saving?'

Shravan looked at her as if reading every line of her worry and confusion. His mother's words beating in his head like a heartbeat. 

You never hated her.

Maybe, yes.

'Major?' Suman was agitated with his silence. His stare bore in her inners and she decided to enjoy their solidarity. She sat with him, trying to imagine that what it would be like to have him come back to her every evening, to touch him without worry. His warmth was intoxicating her. She wanted to look at him and apologize yet again. He never hurt her, and she never got the chance to comfort. Ironic, isn't it?

'You, fine?'Shravan enquired. What do you say to people who have the ability to drive you insane and cheerful at the same time?

Shravan picked up her palm and tapped at her knuckles. 'You scared me for a second.' he smiled a bit, the fear evident in his eyes. 

'I look ghastly when I get my attacks.' Suman laughed but Shravan got quieter and then she regretted that. 'I mean, they are rare. I keep a check, unless..........'

'Unless some rascal brags in and puts some peach in your mouth forcefully.' Shravan was still angry with Vikram's presence in Suman's life. Couldn't she filter her inner circle well?

'He did it without my knowledge. I really didn't know...' Suman had tears in her eyes. Her actions were fatal, not only for herself but for her institution as well. 'I don't know how to thank you.' 

'It doesn't matter.' Shravan chided himself, easy Shravan easy, he thought. Suman looked at him and saw changes in the softness of his eyes. Back then when they were teenagers there was a sense of euphoria in them. A force to crack the world into a better place. But now, it carried the coldness of winter, the intensity of a storm, and the depth of the ocean. The ocean, that won't let her ship sail. And then she could get flashes of the night she spent in his house, recently. She could see tears and acceptance, passion, and ragged love. Maybe, she even saw warmth. How unlucky, that she wasn't in her senses back then, or she might have drawn them- painted them, to keep it with her when she missed him.

'You will be fine.' Shravan spoke to her, his pretense of hardness breaking with each sentence. He was still holding her hand, as it looked the most natural thing to do. Suman nodded and he could spot a pinkish stain imprint on her cheeks. She was healthy again, instantaneously.

The room got darker, as the dusk approached. It made Shravan's face look more blur. At that point, Suman didn't like the idea of him disappearing in front of her, but before she could turn on the lights Shravan turned them on with equal hurriedness. She smiled at his action and he too formed a smug grin which somewhere lighted his chocolate brown eyes, that she loved. 

'Thank you for saving me.' she said, as he measured her each and every word. 

'What would I have done? I am an Army officer.' he gave out a chuckle, saving someone was his reflex.

Suman rolled her eyes and shook her head 'Your act of heroism does count' she smiled at him 'but what matters the most is that you believed that my life was worth saving.'

Shravan blinked and took in her sentence. At this, he wanted to kiss her and make her believe that indeed she was the most precious thing he could keep safe. What irked him, was her wistful voice. He could feel the hollowness of her wish as if all the hopes of their reconciliation has vanished. He looked at her and somewhere understood that why she might have said a yes to Vikram.

'For the last few days' Shravan looked on the floor 'I have been rude to you. Insolent exactly.' 

'It's not your fault.' She said interrupting him. She couldn't make him more guilty.

'No, it is.' he looked at her. They were still holding hands, as their destiny lines retraced each other. Suman didn't nod but stayed quite. ' I would make sure that it doesn't happen again.' at this Suman shot up her head and flashed him a smile. ' I didn't know you could be so soft. Honestly, I never thought that I would tell you this but the tiffin man is scared of you.' She laughed, throwing her head back. 

Shravan enlarged his eyes, taken aback with her sudden mood change. She just needed one reason to be happy, one small reason to laugh. How lovely could it get?

'I didn't know I was that scary.' he raised his brows in resentment. For the first time in years, he was throwing tantrums.

'Oh! you are not, at least to me.' She pulled his cheeks and instantly drew back her hands. She was going too far, she thought as she gulped harder.

Shravan could hardly hold a laugh when he saw her doing that. He laughed his guts out, filling air in his lungs periodically as Suman couldn't help but get confused and join later.

His laugh was infectious. 

She blushed and he said something he would get embarrassed off sooner or later 'You think holding my cheeks would get you a punishment when you have already kis...' he stopped abruptly, thinking that he was going overboard. At this, a pin drop silence prevailed.

'I would look for your discharge papers.' he huffed and got up from his stool. One look at her and he felt something warm and fuzzy in his heart. Before he could go away, he bent near her ear, as Suman couldn't help but feel her heart race. 

'I know you met my mother.' he stretched back and walked away from a Scarlet Suman Tiwari.

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Part13 Page 14