Chapter 9
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Dear All ,
Apologies , for keeping you all waiting . There was too much in my basket that I had to do ..now having sorted,..here I am.. As much as you all missed reading this story, I missed writing it and enjoying reading your comments. I never even dreamt that you all liked my writing so much. I am overwhelmed to read each and every comment. So here we go ...I hope you will enjoy this update...happy reading..
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PART 8
Once we reached home from the hospital, I took the cloths out from the bag, I hid the yellow shirt and gave the rest for washing. In that yellow shirt's pocket, I had placed her strands of hair carefully before changing it at the hospital. I guess, while we were trying to move away from each other quickly , her hair might have got entangled on my shirt's button. The yellow shirt had her tears on it too. That shirt and few strands of her hair was like a treasure for me. That night, for the first time in my life I closed the door of my bedroom. I took the shirt out and placed it on the bed. Then carefully extracted those precious strands from the pocket and placed it on the shirt. I didn't know why I did this, it was like she was present on the bed with me in my bedroom. Looking at her hair on my shirt made me wonder, how I would feel when her long black silky hair would be on my chest covering our modesty after our intimate sessions. The thought itself made my breathing faster and I became restless. I wanted her here with me. A night and a day stood in between us, even that seemed like eternity for me.
We had reached home from hospital by noon. Around 5:00 PM mom and Rohan had gone and given Haldi and Mehandi in her house. We had got it from their side as well. My family, told me she looked very pretty in yellow saree. I had never seen her in Saree, in fact never seen in skirts too. Well, technical not right, I had seen her in Lehanga . How can I forget, the milky white skin of her midriff? I looked at the mirror , and found myself blushing at my not so respectable thoughts. I was happy and tensed at the same time. Last minute jitters had started capturing my mind. Will I be able to keep her happy?? Will she be able to love me ? She knew, Kamya and I were going to be married, would that make her insecure? Till now, we had never talked about it in detail. I hope not ...
I heard someone knocking at the door. I quickly got hold of my treasure and hid it in my cupboard.
"Why did you lock the door?? Asked Rohan.
"Actually , I didn't realise Rohan .
"Bhaiya are you alright? You look tensed.
"Yes , I am fine. Just a little nervous.
"Then , I have a solution for this .
He went to the phone and started dialing someone.
"Rohan , whom are you calling at 11 in the night.
"Shussh..!
That one word , took me back to the scene at the hospital. The way she had told me "Don't shushhh me was funny. I understood one thing from that , when angry , madam is a lioness . She will rip anyone apart just like my mom.
"Bhaiya, talk to Bhabhi.
"You called her this late?? What will she think and what will her family think about us ??
"She is going to love it...and as far as her family is concerned ,don't worry , Preethi had got the phone to their room. And in their home every one will be fast asleep by 10:00. You talk to her ..good night Brother.
He then winked at me and left the room..
"Hi Sameer
"Hi , who is holding the phone for you. Your hands will have Mehandi rt??
"It's dried, they have removed all those dried parts and applied slight oil on it, so that it darkens. I am not supposed to wash it till tomorrow morning.
"Oh...ok...Had food?
"Yes , you sound tensed
"A lil nervous, are you not nervous?
"I was, during Haldi ceremony. But now I have calmed down. Why are you getting nervous? You are not leaving your house. You are going to be around people who has been with you from the time of your birth. So, what is this nervousness about?
Her question was spot on. It was true, she was the one who is going to face changes in life more than me, even then I was tense. How could I tell her , its all because of my past relationship with Kamya. After being with Naina , I was now sure that I was never in love with Kamya, I was always in love with Naina. But how do I make her understand this and its not an easy topic to discuss the day before your wedding to your to be wife. I knew I had to ...but how...do I start the topic..
"Sameer...you there ?? You ok?? Listen , we are still friends. If you are not sure of this marriage , you can tell me. No point in marrying and regretting it rt? It might be last moment but its much better to decide before marriage than to end up in a divorce. His silence was killing me. My heart told me , whatever he was nervous about ,was related to Kamya. If he called off the wedding , I will be hurt but for his happiness and my peace of mind , I was willing to go thru it.
" Naina, I was not planning to call of the wedding and I won't unless you want to. I didn't agree to marry you to prove to the world that I had moved on. I did because I had really come out of my past and I needed someone to share my life. When mom suggested your name, I was happy because as teenagers we always got along well . I felt we would be able to accept each other easily. And one more thing , never speak of divorce, or break up. Agreed??
"Then why are you tensed?? And why did you sound so thoughtful few seconds back??
"I am worried, if my past will ruin my present...hmmm ...Naina , you know my past , that I was going to marry Kamya and it didn't work out as planned. It ended in a mess. I am sure post our marriage this discussion will come up during parties or when we meet up with people we know from our school days.. I am worried for you. I am not sure how its going to affect you and if that will make you go away from me.
"Sameer , do you think ...you still love Kamya ?? Don't say a NO because of your ego. Keep your ego aside and tell me what your heart says.
"Naina , that was a part of my past. I have moved on and there is no place for her in my present or future.
"Well then forget it. We can't change the past . I will be hurt if you still had feelings for her while you agreed to take me as your wife. Since you said you have moved on, fine with me. As far as people talking, we will have to take it , no other go. When I said yes to this marriage, I knew I must be prepared for it and worse.
We should not waste our time , thinking about the past rather we should concentrate on our present and future because that's in our control.
"Thanks Naina , I feel better talking to you .
"Np Sameer, I think we should sleep now else Chachi will scold me seeing dark circles under my eyes.
"Of course , you go and sleep . I want you to look beautiful on our wedding day.
I heard her laugh...it was music to my ears.
"Good night Sameer!!
"Good Night Naina!!
As I switched off the light and lied down on the bed , I kept thinking about what we spoke. It helped me to relax, but as I pondered over her words in my mind, there were two things that made me restless. One when she said, that by agreeing to this marriage , she was mentally prepared for gossips and worse , and that the present and future was in our control. ...what did she mean by that ?? When I put both these statements together, it just didn't sound fine. What did she mean, by getting prepared for the worst?? Did she think , I could go back to Kamya or ditch Naina for Kamya?? Lord!! she still thinks I am in love with Kamya!! How can I make her understand that I was in love with her and not Kamya. She wont believe. I cant blame her because my past actions never showed any signs of me being in love with Naina. Neither did I realise then , why my eyes would try to seek her presence even when I showered my care on Kamya. Then when we moved to college and we never met , but once in a while I used to think about where she was and what she was doing . Slowly people did talk of me and Kamya being a pair and I felt its not right to think about another girl and Naina became the other girl. After which I had closed her out of my thoughts and concentrated on Kamya...
Lord its so complicated !! I guess only time can solve this. Probably after marriage my care and affection will make her understand that my love was, is , and always her and not Kamya. Then I will tell her that she was the one who had "STOLEN MY HEART!!.
Next Morning 6:00 AM
Preethi woke me up and I was really surprised at this because it was always me who woke her up. Today, it was different . I knew it too. Just one day more before I officially became Naina Sameer Jaiprakash Maheshwari, the eldest DIL of the famous Maheshwari family. My heart skipped a beat when I thought about it. I hugged her tight .
"I don't want to get up and I don't want to get married. I am scared.
"Don't worry , from tomorrow onwards Jiju will be there with you . He will be your strength Naina. You just wait and watch. I think he is in love with you . Did you not see how he had stood up for you?? Above all the way he looks at you ... Naina dear , I think he always had a soft corner for you but got side tracked because of Kamya.
I have never told you this before...I used to feel that he had a crush on you . Remember how he got that teddy for you and then helped you with English notes. Even though he would sit to study in the library with Kamya and Raghav , his eyes will be on you...if you are not around , then his eyes would keep looking at the door.
"Preethi , I call it pity. He sympathises with me because even those days people knew how rude papa was with me. Its ok Preethi , I know , I can ONLY be his wife and not love.
"Really ?? Then there will be a day when you tell me that you were wrong. Topper Naina, this time you will fail, and I will win because the truth is you had stolen his heart long back.
Even though I sat with Preethi and chachi my mind was wandering on the previous night's phone conversation. I understood that he was genuinely wanting to move on in life ,but he was literally struggling to move on. This only increased my fear, thinking if she came back then he will not know what to do as he will be stuck between his love for her and responsibility towards me. I have to help him to come out of it and I hope my love for him will help us both to start our new life. I hope my love will help him to fall in love with me. I know I cant take Kamya's place but at least he will give me a small space in his heart. Lord, how complicated can life get !!
"Naina beta, don't think too much !! I know you are tensed . All you need to do is just go with the flow and with time you will be fine. Everyone goes thru these pre-marriage jitters. Even guys go through it. Your chacha ji told me about it after our marriage. So, don't worry everything will be fine because Sameer loves you so much beta. Its like you are that one piece of a missing part from his puzzle. With you he feels complete. It's so obvious from his eyes...just wait and watch ...nothing can go wrong again.
I smiled but I knew, I need to be prepared for the worst because my heart told me this marriage is not going to be as easy and smooth as it seems to be. God help me to trust him blindly. My insecurities shouldn't destroy our relationship. I can't imagine of losing him again to someone else ...I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!
Apologies , for keeping you all waiting . There was too much in my basket that I had to do ..now having sorted,..here I am.. As much as you all missed reading this story, I missed writing it and enjoying reading your comments. I never even dreamt that you all liked my writing so much. I am overwhelmed to read each and every comment. So here we go ...I hope you will enjoy this update...happy reading..
================================================================
PART 8
Once we reached home from the hospital, I took the cloths out from the bag, I hid the yellow shirt and gave the rest for washing. In that yellow shirt's pocket, I had placed her strands of hair carefully before changing it at the hospital. I guess, while we were trying to move away from each other quickly , her hair might have got entangled on my shirt's button. The yellow shirt had her tears on it too. That shirt and few strands of her hair was like a treasure for me. That night, for the first time in my life I closed the door of my bedroom. I took the shirt out and placed it on the bed. Then carefully extracted those precious strands from the pocket and placed it on the shirt. I didn't know why I did this, it was like she was present on the bed with me in my bedroom. Looking at her hair on my shirt made me wonder, how I would feel when her long black silky hair would be on my chest covering our modesty after our intimate sessions. The thought itself made my breathing faster and I became restless. I wanted her here with me. A night and a day stood in between us, even that seemed like eternity for me.
We had reached home from hospital by noon. Around 5:00 PM mom and Rohan had gone and given Haldi and Mehandi in her house. We had got it from their side as well. My family, told me she looked very pretty in yellow saree. I had never seen her in Saree, in fact never seen in skirts too. Well, technical not right, I had seen her in Lehanga . How can I forget, the milky white skin of her midriff? I looked at the mirror , and found myself blushing at my not so respectable thoughts. I was happy and tensed at the same time. Last minute jitters had started capturing my mind. Will I be able to keep her happy?? Will she be able to love me ? She knew, Kamya and I were going to be married, would that make her insecure? Till now, we had never talked about it in detail. I hope not ...
I heard someone knocking at the door. I quickly got hold of my treasure and hid it in my cupboard.
"Why did you lock the door?? Asked Rohan.
"Actually , I didn't realise Rohan .
"Bhaiya are you alright? You look tensed.
"Yes , I am fine. Just a little nervous.
"Then , I have a solution for this .
He went to the phone and started dialing someone.
"Rohan , whom are you calling at 11 in the night.
"Shussh..!
That one word , took me back to the scene at the hospital. The way she had told me "Don't shushhh me was funny. I understood one thing from that , when angry , madam is a lioness . She will rip anyone apart just like my mom.
"Bhaiya, talk to Bhabhi.
"You called her this late?? What will she think and what will her family think about us ??
"She is going to love it...and as far as her family is concerned ,don't worry , Preethi had got the phone to their room. And in their home every one will be fast asleep by 10:00. You talk to her ..good night Brother.
He then winked at me and left the room..
"Hi Sameer
"Hi , who is holding the phone for you. Your hands will have Mehandi rt??
"It's dried, they have removed all those dried parts and applied slight oil on it, so that it darkens. I am not supposed to wash it till tomorrow morning.
"Oh...ok...Had food?
"Yes , you sound tensed
"A lil nervous, are you not nervous?
"I was, during Haldi ceremony. But now I have calmed down. Why are you getting nervous? You are not leaving your house. You are going to be around people who has been with you from the time of your birth. So, what is this nervousness about?
Her question was spot on. It was true, she was the one who is going to face changes in life more than me, even then I was tense. How could I tell her , its all because of my past relationship with Kamya. After being with Naina , I was now sure that I was never in love with Kamya, I was always in love with Naina. But how do I make her understand this and its not an easy topic to discuss the day before your wedding to your to be wife. I knew I had to ...but how...do I start the topic..
"Sameer...you there ?? You ok?? Listen , we are still friends. If you are not sure of this marriage , you can tell me. No point in marrying and regretting it rt? It might be last moment but its much better to decide before marriage than to end up in a divorce. His silence was killing me. My heart told me , whatever he was nervous about ,was related to Kamya. If he called off the wedding , I will be hurt but for his happiness and my peace of mind , I was willing to go thru it.
" Naina, I was not planning to call of the wedding and I won't unless you want to. I didn't agree to marry you to prove to the world that I had moved on. I did because I had really come out of my past and I needed someone to share my life. When mom suggested your name, I was happy because as teenagers we always got along well . I felt we would be able to accept each other easily. And one more thing , never speak of divorce, or break up. Agreed??
"Then why are you tensed?? And why did you sound so thoughtful few seconds back??
"I am worried, if my past will ruin my present...hmmm ...Naina , you know my past , that I was going to marry Kamya and it didn't work out as planned. It ended in a mess. I am sure post our marriage this discussion will come up during parties or when we meet up with people we know from our school days.. I am worried for you. I am not sure how its going to affect you and if that will make you go away from me.
"Sameer , do you think ...you still love Kamya ?? Don't say a NO because of your ego. Keep your ego aside and tell me what your heart says.
"Naina , that was a part of my past. I have moved on and there is no place for her in my present or future.
"Well then forget it. We can't change the past . I will be hurt if you still had feelings for her while you agreed to take me as your wife. Since you said you have moved on, fine with me. As far as people talking, we will have to take it , no other go. When I said yes to this marriage, I knew I must be prepared for it and worse.
We should not waste our time , thinking about the past rather we should concentrate on our present and future because that's in our control.
"Thanks Naina , I feel better talking to you .
"Np Sameer, I think we should sleep now else Chachi will scold me seeing dark circles under my eyes.
"Of course , you go and sleep . I want you to look beautiful on our wedding day.
I heard her laugh...it was music to my ears.
"Good night Sameer!!
"Good Night Naina!!
As I switched off the light and lied down on the bed , I kept thinking about what we spoke. It helped me to relax, but as I pondered over her words in my mind, there were two things that made me restless. One when she said, that by agreeing to this marriage , she was mentally prepared for gossips and worse , and that the present and future was in our control. ...what did she mean by that ?? When I put both these statements together, it just didn't sound fine. What did she mean, by getting prepared for the worst?? Did she think , I could go back to Kamya or ditch Naina for Kamya?? Lord!! she still thinks I am in love with Kamya!! How can I make her understand that I was in love with her and not Kamya. She wont believe. I cant blame her because my past actions never showed any signs of me being in love with Naina. Neither did I realise then , why my eyes would try to seek her presence even when I showered my care on Kamya. Then when we moved to college and we never met , but once in a while I used to think about where she was and what she was doing . Slowly people did talk of me and Kamya being a pair and I felt its not right to think about another girl and Naina became the other girl. After which I had closed her out of my thoughts and concentrated on Kamya...
Lord its so complicated !! I guess only time can solve this. Probably after marriage my care and affection will make her understand that my love was, is , and always her and not Kamya. Then I will tell her that she was the one who had "STOLEN MY HEART!!.
Next Morning 6:00 AM
Preethi woke me up and I was really surprised at this because it was always me who woke her up. Today, it was different . I knew it too. Just one day more before I officially became Naina Sameer Jaiprakash Maheshwari, the eldest DIL of the famous Maheshwari family. My heart skipped a beat when I thought about it. I hugged her tight .
"I don't want to get up and I don't want to get married. I am scared.
"Don't worry , from tomorrow onwards Jiju will be there with you . He will be your strength Naina. You just wait and watch. I think he is in love with you . Did you not see how he had stood up for you?? Above all the way he looks at you ... Naina dear , I think he always had a soft corner for you but got side tracked because of Kamya.
I have never told you this before...I used to feel that he had a crush on you . Remember how he got that teddy for you and then helped you with English notes. Even though he would sit to study in the library with Kamya and Raghav , his eyes will be on you...if you are not around , then his eyes would keep looking at the door.
"Preethi , I call it pity. He sympathises with me because even those days people knew how rude papa was with me. Its ok Preethi , I know , I can ONLY be his wife and not love.
"Really ?? Then there will be a day when you tell me that you were wrong. Topper Naina, this time you will fail, and I will win because the truth is you had stolen his heart long back.
Even though I sat with Preethi and chachi my mind was wandering on the previous night's phone conversation. I understood that he was genuinely wanting to move on in life ,but he was literally struggling to move on. This only increased my fear, thinking if she came back then he will not know what to do as he will be stuck between his love for her and responsibility towards me. I have to help him to come out of it and I hope my love for him will help us both to start our new life. I hope my love will help him to fall in love with me. I know I cant take Kamya's place but at least he will give me a small space in his heart. Lord, how complicated can life get !!
"Naina beta, don't think too much !! I know you are tensed . All you need to do is just go with the flow and with time you will be fine. Everyone goes thru these pre-marriage jitters. Even guys go through it. Your chacha ji told me about it after our marriage. So, don't worry everything will be fine because Sameer loves you so much beta. Its like you are that one piece of a missing part from his puzzle. With you he feels complete. It's so obvious from his eyes...just wait and watch ...nothing can go wrong again.
I smiled but I knew, I need to be prepared for the worst because my heart told me this marriage is not going to be as easy and smooth as it seems to be. God help me to trust him blindly. My insecurities shouldn't destroy our relationship. I can't imagine of losing him again to someone else ...I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!
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