Chapter 1

[MEMBERSONLY][NOCOPY]

A/N : 

Hi  So I wanted to write on this since long but wasn't getting time  After watching the promo yesterday I couldn't help myself from writing this..  I have taken the title from Mangesh Sir's Caption, it was very touching 

I am really nervous while posting this so please be kind with me  ESPECIALLY mere AT ke dost log  

Few hindi word meanings you might want to refer :

Gunn : Traits 

Ansh : Part 

Panaah : Shelter 

Kudrat: Nature 

Prakritik : Natural 

Warning : This is long, don't sleep please  also, @Munnu (mnm13) is not allowed to read this OS.

You Bleed So We Exist 

After having a heated Argument with Kaka, Anirudh was trying to calm himself down. 

He was sitting patiently in his study, when he heard Koeli talking to Bondita as she was taking her somewhere. 

He immediately got up and rushed to the door. Seeing Koeli and Bondita walk towards the other side of the mansion, he followed them quietly.  

He hid behind a pillar when Koeli entered a small room with Bon. He waited for her to leave the room but unfortunately she did not leave so soon. Ani decided to go back to his study and wait.

The dinner table was all set for him but he looked upset and his eyes were searching for Bon. She was still nowhere to be seen. 

"Bondita kaha hai Kaka?" He asked sternly.

"Anirudh abb vo agle 4 dino tak humaare saath nahi reh sakti.. " said Kaka with a disappointed look. 

Even if he was so strict with these rules, he loved Bon dearly.

Ani hit the dining table hard with his hand and got up.

"Bihari .. mera aur Bondita ka khaana meri study me bhejva do.. Mai use lene jaa raha hu..." he commanded.

"Anirudh, 4 din tak Bahu rasoi ki kisi cheez ko haath nahi laga sakti.." said Kaka.

Ani rolled his eyes and served food for himself and Bon on the same plate.

"Bondita ne koi paap nahi kiya hai Kaka jo aap uske saath aisa badtaav kare! Bechaari iss vakt jaanti bhi nahi hai uske saath kya ho raha hai aur kyu ho raha... ye vakt uska khayaal rakhne ka hai aur aap log use achhooto ki tarah ek kamre me fek rahe hain???" Ani shouted. 

Saying so, Ani rushed towards Bon's temporary room.

"Anirudh!! Kaha jaa rahe ho?" Kaka shouted to stop him but Ani was in no mood to listen.

Ani rushed towards her room and knocked. He waited for a while but there was no response. 

Ani himself wasn't able to understand how he should feel about this whole situation. Yes he was educated and open minded, but this was his first practical experience too. He just went ahead to do what was right. He pushed the door a little and found it to be open.

The first sight of that room gave him chills. It was a small room having one window and provisions for drinking water and cooking. On the floor there was his little wife sleeping on a thin sheet of cloth.

He quickly rushed into the room.

"Bondita!!!!" He shouted.

Bon got up in a shocked state. She quickly turned to the other side and hugged her knees bringing them close to her chest.

Ani instantly felt the awkwardness in her body language. He calmed himself down and tried to speak to her again.

"Bondita.. neeche kyu soyi thi tum??.... chalo yaha se.." he instructed.

Bon started shivering. She was not in a condition to speak to him.

"Bondita..! Chalo mere saath ! Abhi!" He shouted.

"Chhote malik" said Koeli as she rushed into the room. "Aap yaha nahi aa sakte Chhote malik" she said.

"Aap mujhe matt bataiye ki mai apni patni se kab mil sakta hu aur kab nahi" he shouted angrily.

"Aap unhe kyu daant rahe hain..." said a crying Bondita. "..Shraap toh mujhe mila hai na patibabu..."

Ani rolled his eyes in frustration.

"Bondita ko mere kamre me leke aaiye...ABHI" he instructed Koeli.

Ani was walking across his room when he saw Koeli enter with Bon.

"Bondita tum araam se baitho.." he instructed Bon to sit on the bed.

After Koeli left, he took the dinner plate and sat next to her. She turned to the other side and looked away, nervously clenching her saree, feeling bad about her periods.

Ani sighed and kept the plate on his side.

"Bondita... meri taraf dekho" he said, even though he himself was feeling a bit hesitant to talk to her directly.

"Nahi patibabu" 

"Ro kyu rahi ho Bondita?" He asked.

"Mujhe shraap kyu diya dugga maa ne Patibabu.." she said crying.

"Ye shraap nahi hai Bondita! ....Meri taraf dekho toh sahi..." He said raising his volume a bit.

"Nahi.. ye shraap hi hai.. aap jaante bhi hain kya ho raha hai mere saath??" She sobbed.

Ani took a deep breath.

"Haan Bondita mai jaanta hu" he confessed. 

Bon felt weird when she realized Ani knows what was up with her.

"Mujhe akela chhod dijiye na patibabu " she pleaded.

"Nahi Bondita.... Mai nahi chahta ki tum doosro ki tarah Andhere me raho ...tumhe sach bataane vaala yaha aur koi nahi hai.." he said calmly. "..meri taraf dekho.. tumhari aankho me koi sharm ya koi afsos nahi hona chahiye.. kyuki na ye galat hai .. na koi paap.. ye toh ek vardan hai Bondita..." 

That was the complete opposite of what people were telling her till then. She slowly turned around to face him, still not confident enough to look him in the eyes. 

Ani smiled satisfactorily. He noticed she had kept her hand on her tummy as she felt the pain. He quickly brought a small pouch which was filled with hot water and covered with a cloth. 

"Ise apne pet pe rakh lo Bondita.. Dard kam hoga." He said. 

Bon followed immediately. Ani adjusted a pillow on her back and made her sit comfortably.

"Bondita.. abb tum kuchh kha lo.." 

"Patibabu.. aapne aisa kyu kaha ki ye vardan hai?" 

Ani smiled.

"Bondita tumhe jo ho raha hai vo ek prakritik cheez hai.. jaise hume bhookh lagti hai.. neend aati hai.. Vaise hi ye bhi hai.."

As he was saying all this, he slowly started feeding Bon.

"Toh kya ye aapko bhi hota hai patibabu?" 

Ani couldn't help but giggle at her silly question.

"Kaash mardo ko bhi hota Bondita.. lekin hum itne khushnaseeb nahi.." he answered.

"Aisa kyu keh rahe hain patibabu.. ye sab toh  kabhi mere dushman ko bhi na ho.." said Bon.

"Ye har ladki ke saath hota hai Bondita..aur iske hone se hi ek ladki vo karne ke kaabil ho paati hai jo koi ladka nahi kar sakta.." he said proudly.

"Aur vo kya hai patibabu?" 

"Vo ladki apne andar ek naye jeewan ko panaah de sakti hai.. ek nayi zindagi ko janm de sakti hai.."

Bon felt weird and thrilled at the same time.

"Toh.. kya mai 4 din ke baad Maa banne vaali hu Patibabu?" She asked innocently.

Ani suddenly felt a kick in his stomach.

"Nahi Bondita! Aisa kyu laga tumhe?" he questioned.

Bon looked at him with a worried face.

"Mujhe Kaka Sasur Ji ne kaha.. ki abb jald hi tum Maa bann jaa.." 

Before she could finish her sentence, Ani got up in anger.

"Kaka PAAGAL HO GAYE HAIN Bondita!!!!!" He shouted at the top of his voice.

Bon shivered in terror at the sudden change of his mood. She understood she had said something wrong. 

"Maaf kar dijiye patibabu..." she started crying again.

Ani was fuming with anger. He felt shattered from inside, unable to understand why he was put in this kind of a situation. He personally wanted to run away from all this, but he knew it was important for Bon to know the truth. He couldn't bear to see her being misguided by others.

He gathered up all his courage and sat down. He tried to look at her, unable to meet her eyes, for reasons only he knew. 

"Patibabu.. abb aap meri taraf kyu nahi dekh rahe? Maa banna galat hai kya?" 

Ani realzed that Bon was asking the right question. There was no shame in knowing the truth, becoming a mother is an invaluable gift that nature has bestowed .

He took a deep breath and looked at Bon.

"Kuchh galat nahi hai Bondita..Maa banna toh sabse bada vardan hai..." he said with a smile.

"Toh ab mere saath kya hoga patibabu? Ye sab khatm kab hoga? Mujhe kuchh samajh nahi aa raha.. kaash Maa hoti yaha.. toh sab samjha deti ki kya hua hai.." she said feeling sad.

Ani's mind were flooded with thoughts. He couldn't understand how to tell her the truth but he knew he had to do it anyway. He couldn't see her being confused about her own body. He wanted her to be a strong and independent woman who wasn't under the influence of any wrong notions. But she was still 12, he needed to be careful with her as well. 

"Bondita.. tum jaanna chahti ho na ye sab kyu ho raha hai?" He asked politely.

Bon nodded.

"Tumhe sunke shayad ajeeb lage.. lekin sach yahi hai..."

Bon listened to him intently.

"Kahaani sunogi ek?" 

Bon grinned and nodded.

"Toh suno..saalo pehle.. duniya me kuchh nahi tha... Sirf ek cheez thi, Kudrat " 

Bon felt curious.

"Kudrat ke paas har cheez thi.. har tarah ke achhe gunn aur bure gunn the uske paas..." 

"Achha.. fir kya hua patibabu?" asked Bondita curiously.

"Fir ek din Kudrat ne ek mard banaya.. aur ek aurat..." 

Bon nodded , feeling excited.

"Dheere dheere Kudrat ko uss aurat aur mard ke gunn achhe lagne lage.. toh usne socha kyu na ek aur insaan banaya jaaye.. jisme inn dono ke gunn ho?" 

"Bilkul sahi socha patibabu.." said Bon feeling happy. 

Ani nodded with a smile.

"Toh sabse pehle.. Kudrat ne uss naye insaan ka ek Ansh diya mard ko.. aur doosra aurat ko.. taaki jab vo dono ansh mil jaaye toh usme dono ke gunn aa jaaye ...."

Bon gasped in excitement to know further. 

"Lekin kisi Chhote se ansh ko jeene layak insaan banne me 9 mahine ka vakt lagta hai.. toh tab tak vo kaha rehta?" 

Bon nodded, slowly understanding what he meant.

"Isiliye Kudrat ne ...Aurat ko ek bohot badi zimmedari di.. ki vo apne aur mard ke ansh ko kudh ke paas tab tak sambhaal ke rakhe ...jab tak vo ansh iss duniya me saanse lene layak insaan na ban jaaye..." 

Bon's face lit up as she felt proud that a woman was given such a huge responsibility.

"Toh isiliye Bondita.. ek aurat ka shareer har mahine unn dono ansh ko panaah dene ke liye ek ghar banaata hai.. jaha uska 9 mahino tak palan poshan ho sake.... lekin agar shareer ko doosra ansh nahi milta.. toh uss ghar ka koi kaam nahi.. isiliye vo toot jaata hai.. abb samjhi aisa kyu hua tumhare saath?" 

Bon nodded with a relief. Although she still had some doubts, she understood it was not a Sin that she had committed. It was natural.

"Iska matlab.. Kudrat ne mujhe bhi itni badi zimmedari di hai patibabu? Kya ladkiya itni kaabil hoti hain?" 

Ani felt satisfied that she understood his point.

"Haan Bondita.. lekin mansik taur pe tumhe abhi bhi bohot kuchh seekhna aur samajhna baaki hai.. apne aap ke baare me.. Jo tum dheere dheere samjhogi.. Tumhara shareer badlega...Tumhare vichar badlenge.. pasand na pasand bhi badlegi.. ye sab ek naye padaav ki tarah hai Bondita..isme kuchh galat nahi hai... aur koi sharm bhi nahi .. kyuki badlaav ko Kudrat ka niyam hai"

Ani observed her as she started thinking about all this. 

"Isiliye abhi na hi darne ka samay hai aur na hi Maa banne ke sapne dekhne ka... ye vakt hai khud ko jaanne ka Bondita... ek nayi zindagi shuru karne ka....." he explained.

Bon understood what he was saying and smiled. But curiosity was flooding her mind. 

"Patibabu..lekin .. doosra ansh mujhe kyu nahi mila? Aur ye har mahine hota hai ...toh ladkiya har mahine Maa kyu nahi banti?" 

Ani knew this dreaded question would come up next. He sighed and went ahead.

"Kahaani pe vapas chale?" 

Bon nodded 

"Jab vo mard aur aurat ek doosre ko bohot achhe se janne lage, ek doosre pe bharosa karne lage.. pyaar karne lage...tab Kudrat ne un dono ke beech ek ... aakarshan paida kar diya.. bilkul grutvakarshan ki tarah" 

He said with a chuckle, trying his best not make it sound weird to Bon. 

"Achha.. fir.." she said with a giggle.

"Fir.."  Ani struggled to get the right and most decent words out of his mouth. 

".. Fir jaise ek Nadi jaake samudra se mil jaati hai .... Vaise hi vo dono bhi mil gaye.. " 

Saying this he paused to let Bon contemplate what he said. He was confident that she will get the idea herself. 

Bon felt weird and confused when she heard that, but she got a vague understanding of what Ani meant. 

"Toh jab tak dono me grutvakarshan nahi hoga.. aur dono milenge nahi.. tab tak dono ke ansh ek saath kaise ayenge?"  He said in a go.

Bon nodded, even though she had her doubts. Ani knew she would soon be back with more questions.

"Aur ye kisi aurat ya mard ke liye sabse pecheeda faisla hota hai Bondita... isiliye ise jitna vakt diya jaaye utna Achha hai.. " 

Bon nodded, not wanting to discuss it further with him at that moment. Ani knew he needed to leave her alone with her thoughts. He did not want to overwhelm her with information as she was still very young. 

"Mai jaanta hu dheere dheere tumhare mann me bohot se savaal ayenge... jab bhi aaye...mai hamesha yaha hu tumhe samjhaane ko.... ghabrana matt.. theek hai?" 

"Jee patibabu..." she said, still lost in her thoughts.

Thanks for reading   I hope I did not disappoint you  I wanted to keep the reactions natural for both Ani and Bon  I don't know if I was able to portray the emotions, just wrote down what I imagined  

Please leave your comments  Be kind with me please  Pehli baar likha hai aisa kuchh 

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