Chapter 2

For many years, Pragya's worst memory was the day Abhi told her to start living a lie.

It was their last day at home before Pragya's first and Abhi's third year at Hogwarts. They were at the annual summer picnic on the grounds of his manor, with all their family and some neighbourhood friends.

At first she'd been excited when he whispered that he needed to talk to her privately. He had led her to the shadiest oak tree on the far side of his back garden, technically still within view of their elders but distant enough that they wouldn't be overheard.

"Listen Chashmish," he had said, a strange undercurrent of nervousness adding an edge to his voice. She had wondered what he could be worried about. Even then at the age of not-quite-twelve, her instinct was that she should find out what was bothering him so that she could make him feel better.

He had stared at her with his tongue between his teeth for a long moment, and she had started to get anxious because she didn't recognize the tense look in his eyes. All of a sudden he looked...sneaky and untrustworthy and that was so at odds with how she had always understood him that for a terrifying moment she felt like she was alone with a stranger.

Then his face had relaxed, and the sly cast went away, and when he spoke again his voice had that silky tone he always used when he talked her into giving him all her sugar quills in exchange for his last chocolate frog.

"Chashmish, you know how I've been at school for two years without you? Well, the thing is, I have a reputation to maintain, and I'm going to need you to cooperate," he had said.

"Of course!" she had agreed readily, always prepared to fall in with his plans as long as it didn't involve upsetting her Maa or his Daadi. And what could he need her to do at school that could affect them? "Anything for you."

"That's my Chashmish." Abhi had grinned and flicked a knuckle at her cheek. It was a new habit he'd been displaying since he got back from his second year at Hogwarts, though he didn't do it often.

The glancing touch always sent a delicious thrill through Pragya, because it felt very grown up for him to so casually touch her face.

"See...no one at school knows I'm betrothed, and it has to stay that way."

They had been betrothed since birth, bound by a magical contract made by their grandfathers who had wanted to unite two powerful bloodlines. Pragya's father had settled his wife and daughters in the village near the Mehra estate so that Pragya and Abhi could grow up together. It was hoped that by forming a close bond in childhood, their eventual marriage would be more successful.

Pragya had known that Abhi would one day be her husband before she even understood what a husband was. Their betrothal was a simple fact of life for both of them, and they'd both not just accepted but embraced it.

And yet, now he was asking her to hide it while at school.

The idea immediately made her heart plummet, but she couldn't understand why. Surely he had a good reason for this, and there was no need for her to feel uneasy. So she tried to keep her tone light as she asked, "Why?"

"Because - because, well, think of it this way, Chashmish. We're going to be married pretty soon after you're done school, and then we'll be together our whole lives. This is the only time we'll get to be free of each other, so shouldn't we get to enjoy it? Everyone treats betrothed couples like some sad joke whose lives are over before they begin, and we don't need that right?"

Pragya's heart was sinking further with his every word. She wasn't quite able to keep her voice from sounding choked as she repeated, "Free of each other?"

Abhi sighed. He ran a hand through his hair, absently fluffing up the spikes he didn't bother to gel when at home for the summer. "I just mean, you should be free to make your own friends and be seen as a normal girl. Why have everyone thinking of you as Abhi's future wife when they could just think of you as the awesome and brilliant Pragya Arora, am I right?"

"Right..." Pragya had agreed, tentatively feeling better about the idea since he put it that way. "To - to be seen as my own person."

"Exactly! And, I mean, you know how the other houses can feel about Slytherins, right? It will be better for you if people don't hold it against you that your betrothed is in Slytherin. You can make all kinds of friends, and after graduation they'll still be your friends and it won't matter that you're marrying a Slytherin."

Pragya frowned at the underlying assumption. "But - but won't we be in the same house? Do you think I might not sort Slytherin?"

Abhi laughed then. He reached out to straighten her glasses with one fingertip. That was another one of his rare gestures that always made Pragya's heart flutter, but for some reason that day it didn't have its normal effect. Probably because her heart still felt like it was somewhere down at her feet.

"Silly Chashmish," Abhi had scoffed, though his mockery was lightened by fondness. "You are the least Slytherin-like wannabe Slytherin that ever lived. I'm not sure which of the other houses would suit you best, but I'd bet my dad's wand that it won't be Slytherin."

His dad's wand was his most prized possession, kept in a glass case at his manor under the garlanded portrait of the handsome man neither of them had really known. He only joked about betting it when he was commenting on a sure thing, and Pragya knew he would never mention it if he thought there was any chance of losing his pretend bet.

"But - but I want to be with you," Pragya had protested, feeling her lip wobble and her eyes sting. She held back her tears by sheer force of will, but Abhi still noticed that her eyes were overbright.

"Hey, Chashmish," he'd said, his voice softening as he pulled her into a hug. "Don't be like that. I told you na, we'll be together forever? Just, while we're at school we should get to just be ourselves. This chance won't come again, you know?"

Then he held her at arm's length and smiled at her, but it didn't have the usual effect of warming her all over. Instead she felt suddenly adrift, like she was watching the shoreline recede without even knowing she'd been on the water.

"I know my samajdhar Chashmish will understand," he said. And though his tone was cheerful there was a note of firmness in his voice that told her he considered the matter now closed for discussion. "And I've already explained the matter to Purab so he won't be a problem. We can tell Aalu and Tweet Tweet when they come as firsties. The only other person who knows is that Double Battery, and he's going to be so busy with NEWTS that it won't matter."

"Right," Pragya had agreed woodenly, feeling like the world was closing in on her as he named off each person who would be part of their lives both at school and at home.

Then Abhi had hugged her again, one of his quick, theatrical I'm-the-cherry-on-your sundae hugs that was more about him than its recipient. "You're the best, Chashmish!" he had crowed.

Then he'd actually kissed her cheek. And without giving her any more time to react, he dragged her back to the family picnic.

All Pragya could think was that she'd had her first kiss from Abhi, and it hadn't felt good at all.

***

She had spent that first train ride mostly with Purab, talking over their hopes and expectations for what Hogwarts life might be like. They had touched briefly on the topic of hiding her and Abhi's betrothal and Purab's face flashed with that guilty look he always had when he felt bad about supporting one of Abhi's exploits. But they both knew that Abhi always got what he wanted and there wasn't any point in feeling bad about it

They had moved onto other topics, and were eventually joined by some fellow firsties looking for new friends. One of them was even a Muggleborn, and the last hours of the trip passed in explaining many details of their world to the shell-shocked girl named Meethu.

When they got to Hogwarts, Pragya was as awed and impressed with the castle as generations of first years before her. She was distracted enough to forget all about Abhi until she caught a glimpse of him when being led in for the Sorting. He was sitting with his friends at the Slytherin table, already looking cosily at home. He gave her a quick wink when she met his eye, but then his gaze skipped past her way down the line to Purab, and that was that for their interaction.

She begged the Sorting Hat to send her to Slytherin, but it had simply clucked at her and told her that no matter how much she might want to join her betrothed, it couldn't send her somewhere she wouldn't fit. It had mulled over all the other options and mentioned reasons why she might do well in any of the other houses, but finally it had announced that "to be the best you that you could ever be, better be Ravenclaw!"

At that she'd felt at least a little proud. She knew her Maa had wanted to be a Claw but never had the chance to attend Hogwarts, so she would be very pleased with Pragya's sorting.

As she approached the Ravenclaw table, Suresh was waving at her with a welcoming smile. Pragya's mood lifted as she realized that she already had a reason to feel like her House would indeed be her home as the headmistress' speech had promised.

Pragya was actually the first to be sorted in Ravenclaw that year, as alphabetically she had been third in line. She was joined soon after by a boy named Raghav Chopra, and from the instant he sat down next to her a perfect friendship was born.

Purab ended up sorting in Gryffindor, which was a surprise to them all. However, when he confided later that the Hat had said he needed to be among Lions to find his inner voice, Pragya thought it was the right choice for him after all. Meethu had sorted Gryffindor too, and was already clinging to Purab as the only person she knew.

The first weeks of term passed in a whirl of busy classes and new friends, and as Halloween approached Pragya was a fair way to forgetting the sense of heartbreak she'd brought with her to school. She only ever saw Abhi at meal times so the ache of missing him was not so awful after all. He always had a smile or a wink for her when their gazes met, and it was always enough to brighten her day.

He never seemed willing to wave at her, though, but she told herself that this was just because he didn't want his yearmates to make fun of him for being friendly to a firstie. When she saw him not just waving to but actually walking down the hall arm-in-arm with Purab, she reasoned it was different because they were both boys.

Pragya and her friends were quite excited for their first Hogwarts Halloween. The afternoon before the feast, she and her little group decided to have a mini-picnic by the lake, and the day got unexpectedly better when Abhi suddenly came to join them.

He was back from his first Hogsmeade trip, with treats for Pragya and Purab. He greeted Raghav and Meethu politely and thanked them for befriending his "two dweeby minions." Pragya and Purab protested in outrage at this, and their attempts to hex him gave him the perfect excuse to saunter away.

Later when Pragya opened the little treat bag from Abhi she saw that it had double as many sugar quills as chocolate frogs. This sign of his consideration for her just about made her year, and the next time Abhi avoided acknowledging her in public she didn't even feel bad. She knew that he cared for her in his heart, and that was what counted.

***

First year set the pattern for Abhi and Pragya's relationship while at Hogwarts. They seldom interacted but when they did it was always positive and light. Each had their own friends and between classes, clubs, and homework they easily kept busy.

Summers were different because at home they could relax and be more like they'd been as children. They spent time together just the two of them when they could, and often with both their families together too.

For both of them the fact of their betrothal was always at the back of their mind, but it wasn't a factor in their day to day lives.

Things continued peacefully until Pragya's fateful first trip to Hogsmeade.

She missed both the Halloween and Yule trips due to her obligations with the astronomy club, but finally when Valentine's weekend came around she was free to join in. She was quite excited and made plans with her gang of three to spend the day together.

Their first stop was of course Honeyduke's, where Pragya made sure to get an extra box of Sugar Quills. She had saved up her spare allowance and had an exact budget for everything she planned to get. Just before paying for her order, she picked up a quarter pound of Cockroach Clusters, grinning to herself to imagine Abhi's dismay when he opened the bag she would give him.

After Honeyduke's they made their way through all the Hogsmeade shops as Pragya hadn't got to see any of them before. Purab and Meethu got bored when Raghav and Pragya spent too long looking over the inkwells at Scrivenshafts, so they decided to head off early to the Three Broomsticks. This left Raghav and Pragya to walk back on their own about a half hour later, and that was when Pragya saw a sight that almost made her heart stop.

Her stride came to a dead halt and Raghav collided into her. He managed to steady them both so they didn't fall, but even then Pragya wasn't paying attention. Her gaze was glued to Madam Puddifoot's shop window, and even as she stood there staring, her eyes were misting over with tears.

"Err, Phataka?" Raghav asked in confusion, using the nickname he'd come up with after a memorable mishap in second year Potions. "What's up?"

Pragya blinked quickly and wrenched her gaze to Raghav. "Um. Sorry. No, nothing, I - you know what, you go ahead to the Broomsticks without me, ok? I'm not...I'm going back to the castle now."

But Raghav wouldn't hear of letting her go back alone. He wasn't able to get her to tell him what was wrong, but he accompanied her all the way back to the common room and made her promise to rest until she felt better.

Pragya gave him a tight smile and thanked him deeply for taking so much trouble, and she even promised to go up and be quiet in her room for awhile. But she knew that nothing could make her feel better, not after what she had seen.

***

Pragya spent the rest of the weekend crying into her pillow and avoiding her friends. She knew she should talk to someone, but what was the point? She couldn't tell anyone at Hogwarts the whole story, and if she wrote home about it, it would just cause too much mess.

She wanted nothing more than to forget the whole incident and pretend she'd seen nothing, but she couldn't cheat herself that way. So finally she joined her friends for Sunday lunch and spent the whole afternoon with them between the common room and the library. By dinner they were convinced enough that she was back to her usual self, and no one questioned her when she said she needed to go to the owlery alone to send a letter to her mother.

She did go to the owlery, but the quick note she scrawled was for Abhi. Twenty minutes later she stood waiting for him on the astronomy tower, which she knew would be free of classes and club meetings that night. There was an uncomfortable lead weight in her stomach and a nervous tension in her veins, but since she'd set up the rendezvous there was nothing for it but to wait it out.

Finally Abhi came up the stairs, whistling one of the riffs he'd devised on his guitar over the summer. He was smiling and cheerful and Pragya wished for a second that she could just pull her wand on him to blast the contentment off his face.

But the moment passed, and she didn't question the odd impulse to violence. Instead she mentally went over what she planned to say, and then finally Abhi was in front of her and it was time to talk.

"What's with all the mystery, Chashmish?" Abhi asked, leaning against the stone battlement with his back to the grounds. "Your note didn't say what's up. What do you need?"

"I - need answers," Pragya said. She was dismayed that she couldn't keep the wobble out of her voice.

Abhi heard the distress behind her words and immediately became more serious. "Answers? What do you mean? What's wrong?"

Pragya crossed her arms around herself and took a deep breath. "Who - who was that girl with you in Hogsmeade? And w-what were you doing with her?"

Abhi's eyes widened in shocked, and a tense beat passed between them as he stared at her in surprise. But then that sneaky, shifty look Pragya remembered from their conversation three summers ago came back to his face, and his voice was calm as he said, "What girl in Hogsmeade? I'm not sure what you mean."

Pragya narrowed her eyes. "I saw you myself," she snapped. "In Madam Puddifoot's, on Valentine's. And you know what, you don't even have to tell me what you were doing with her. From the way you were feeding each other pudding it was pretty clear. But who is she, and why were you there with her!"

"Hey, hey, ok! Calm down, Chashmish!" Abhi said. "So you saw me in Hogsmeade, nothing to get worked up about -"

"I saw you on a date, Abhishek. With some - some chudail who didn't even have the decency to wear her house scarf because she - you know what, nevermind. I want answers, and I want them now!" A combination of outrage and heartbreak had destroyed the usual reserves of Pragya's patience, and she had nothing for Abhi now but pure wrath.

Abhi never responded well to Pragya's rare displays of temper, and this was no exception. His face closed and his stance firmed. His voice was sharp as he answered, "Alright, fine. Yes, I was on a date. Her name is Tanu and she's my girlfriend. We were there because it was Valentine's day and -"

"Girlfriend?" Pragya repeated in numb shock. "Girlfriend?"

"Do you need me to define the word, Chashmish?" There was a contemptuous edge to his voice now, and for the second time ever Pragya had the uncomfortable sensation that she was dealing with a stranger.

Could this really be Abhi? So coldly discussing his girlfriend with her, and making it sound like she was in the wrong to be surprised?

After a moment to recruit her resolve, Pragya bit back, "Maybe you could define betrothed for me. Did our engagement end, and no one told me? How dare you have a girlfriend while -"

"How dare I? It's my life Chashmish, that's how! I explained to you a long time ago, our betrothal doesn't exist at Hogwarts. This is our time to -"

"Be free of each other. That's what you said, before my first year. This is what you meant? Has she been your girlfriend this whole time?"

"You're getting hysterical. I don't have anything to say to you if you don't calm down."

Suddenly all of Pragya's fire disappeared, leaving her with only an empty ache in her heart. What more could she say or ask, if he'd made up his mind to be hostile? She looked away from him for a moment, needing to clear her mind. But even the sight of the twilight sky couldn't soothe her nerves, which were agitated just by being in his presence.

Finally she sighed and turned to him again. "So this is how it's going to be?" she asked quietly. "No one knows that you're betrothed, and you're free to go on dates and have girlfriends?"

"Don't you remember what I told you? We're going to be together forever Chashmish, we both know that. What's the harm to have a little fun while we're young? You don't begrudge me that, do you? Don't you think I should have a chance to be like all the other guys for awhile?"

No, Pragya thought bitterly. I think you should be mine.

But instead of saying that, she stared at him with burning eyes and asked, "Were you ever going to tell me?"

It was Abhi's turn to look away then, and he did his usual nervous habit of running a hand through his hair. "It's - it's not serious with her, Chashmish, so I didn't think you'd need to know."

"Uh huh," she said flatly. "And Daadi doesn't need to know either, right?"

Abhi's expression immediately darkened. "Keep Daadi out of this," he said fiercely. "This has nothing to do with Daadi, or Sarla Maa, or anybody. While we're at school our lives are our own, alright? That's how it's been all this time, and that's how it's going to be until we graduate."

He was using his this-is-final tone again, and by then Pragya felt too heartsick to argue further. In this as in everything, Abhi would get his way. And in her own time she would surely find a way to make peace with it.

"Right," she finally said. "Our lives are our own. I won't bother you about this again."

In a flash, Abhi softened and became his light-hearted self again. "Good," he said with an easy smile. Then he actually came forward, held her by the shoulders, and dropped a quick kiss on the top of her head. "That's like my Chashmish."

And then he was gone, and Pragya was left feeling that her second kiss from Abhi hadn't been any better than the first.

***

Nothing much changed between them after the confrontation. They were still polite to each other in passing, and they still exchanged little treats and gifts now and then. Pragya didn't bother talking about the situation with anybody, and by the end of the year she had managed to convince herself that she was ok with everything.

Abhi had always emphasized that the reason to hide their betrothal was so that they could live their own lives while young. They both knew that they would eventually settle down to what their families wanted when it was time. A small part of Pragya still ached at the unwanted realization that for Abhi, living his own life meant keeping her on the periphery. For her, life had always centred around Abhi, and it was difficult to accept that it was so different for him.

But, finally, she gave herself permission to put Abhi at the periphery of her own life too. If he was happy, and he wanted her to be as free as he was, then why shouldn't she do just that? He was right, there would be time enough to take their betrothal seriously when they were adults. Might as well enjoy their only years of freedom from commitment while they could.

Thus by Pragya's fourth year, she had stopped seeking Abhi's eye at meal times, and she didn't keep track of his love life. School gossip informed her that he was generally steady with Tanu but was known to occasionally flirt with other girls. She paid as little attention as possible to all that. She kept herself busy with her coursework and her friends, and by some cause or another there was always enough on her mind that she wasn't bothered by the persistent hollow corner in her heart.