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Chapter 1

kamila.

@Seriously.

[MEMBERSONLY]

Hi guys. This is two shot.. All my stories were dealt with the love of a guy I badly wanted to write how can a girl love a man. Here it is.. please forgive the typos and misspellings.

Hope you all like it..

Love you all..

PART :- 1

You could run from someone you feared, you could try to fight someone you hated. All my reactions were geared toward those kinds of killers - the monsters, the enemies. When you loved the one who was killing you, it left you no options. How could you run, how could you fight, when doing so would hurt that beloved one? If your life was all you had to give your beloved, how could you not give it? If it was someone you truly loved?

________ Stephenie Meyer, Breaking Dawn

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This day was the Earth stopped around me. As I'm waiting here for him to open his eyes. I have a hope in my love which I have for him. Yeah love.. Love is the reason why I'm waiting here; impatiently. Love is the reason; why he is battling between his life and death.

I'm Swara gododia, who is waiting outside of ICU for Sanskaar Maheswari to open his eyes. I want him to live my life. Because he is my life. But he is not mine. Not any more.

Im loving him for ages. But he never knew about my feelings, for him I'm an unwanted person. But for me he is my reason of existence.

How can I tell my cursed love for him. Which never going to happen. Coz he is not mine. He is someone's.

His father and my father were childhood friends. If father's were friends is not a custom that their children's have to be friends for eternity. I and him are merely enemies. Like Pakistan and India, like Cuba and America. We are enemies with no borderline. I have an easy access to his home as well as him. They used to call us as fire and water..

Until, until that day. This fire was put out by the water.. I was doing my eighth I was traveling to my friend home in my bicycle. Unfortunately cycle is got broken in the middle.. I was walking along with my cycle. Some street boys started to tease me. Me being me I threw stones at them. It kissed one boys head and the blood started to oozing out from his wound.. I moved swiftly from there. suddenly I was blocked by them. Their disgusting look on me and their hands were beastly roaming on my cheeks. I closed my eyes in disgust and in lot more fear. I don't know how to escape from them. That was the moment I felt an arm around my waist pulling me closer to him in an half embrace. I opened my eyes was frost seeing him, he never looked cute to me before, but he looked more handsome in that day. My enemy Sanskaar Maheswari with his friends. He never allowed anyone to touch me. I felt a feel in my heart, which I can never calibrate in words. Later he scold me to come this long without my dad. The next is the miracle. He drove me to my home. It was his bicycle which became a chariot to me. That was the moment I was sitting in front of him in between his hand which were on the handle bars. I balanced my back on his chest. That was the first time I smelled his aroma. Which were a stinky smell before. I laughed myself for getting an attention from him. Which is not obvious in the past nor in the future..

*For you to hear me my words thin themselves out, at times, like the trails of gulls on the shore. *

My feeling for him grew along with the time. I visit his home to see him only him. To steal glimpse of him.. To rob his things, To smell his aroma, to trying to get an attraction from him.. which always ended up in lose... I hardly find a courage to speak with him. But that courage never reached my throat.. so I voluntarily fight with him. Not finding any ways to speak with him. Most of the fight were ended in word locks. But sometimes it last to hand locks in between us. He never knew how his touch work on my nerves. He always managed to maim my nerves. He never knew about my feeling as I was well in wearing mask on my face.

*A necklace of bones, a crazed rattle for your fingers smooth as grapes. And I look at my words from a distance. More than mine they are yours.*

He distanced himself from me after a huge fight in between us were I broke his head with his hockey bat. That was a pure accident. I cried a lot than him. I hurted myself for hurting him. I stopped visiting his house, after one incident. I went to apologise to him, were his friend called me transgender in front of him for that he laughed at me along with his friends. I ran away from there to my home. I hugged my sister and told her. She consoled me that they are also humans there is nothing wrong.

Days passed I didn't get a chance to meet him for five years. Until my sister Ragini's marriage was fixed with his brother Laksh. Without any other options I stepped into his home.

That was the first time I saw a boy who completely turned into a man. I was doing my twevelth then. He was at first year of B.sc chemistry. He looked soo manly in that blue sherwani with a turbun on his head at wedding... The wedding was done along with our clash. I enjoyed being around with him.

After finishing my higher secondary i joined his college to being around him again. Along with my friend Kavita. She and my sister Ragini know about my feelings for him. Later My dad. I was busy in getting his attraction, in that I totally forgot about my friend who joined this college for me..

"Miss... Miss." A man's call was me up from my false sleep. "You can see him now." With a thank you note to the doctor, I ran into the ICU. We're he was lying lifelessly. Tears were rolling from my eyes. Seeing his state. Sanskaar Maheswari the famous guy of our college. Owner of Mr.Handsome potent title. Is lying lifelessly on the bed.. attached with the monitors. I walked him.. caressing his lock of hair's along with his forehead.. placed a soft kiss on his lips... I don't know why I kissed him. I know well that he is not mine. Definitely not going to be he is her's.. Kavita.. But what he is doing here.. I USA that too alone in an apartment.

I don't know he was in LA until I get a call from jiju from India.. he said that Sanskaar was hospitalized he wanted me to be with him until he arrives. Without any conception I rushed here by hiring a taxi at midnight 2:30. I walked out the room, I crashed on to the chair, whereas my memories moved back to days were I was roamed like Butterfly which just got freedom from a cocoon.

One year passed. Me roaming behind him. He was totally unaware the things, which is concealed often.. he used to search for his things like coolers. Cigarette lighter, Bike keys, pens, chocolate covers which he throws at dustbin. Sometimes I ran into the dustbin to get that. My friend Kavita used to shout at me. But I never worried to make myself dirty for him. For me he is the matter.. Me second option. I loved him that much. I stater to live my life with him in my dreams. Were he romance with me without any disgusting look on his eyes for me. Without any hindrances in between us.. it's only us.. I cherished those dreams.

My sister forced me to let him know about my feelings for him. Im searching for in the college campus. I can't find him anywhere around. I asked his friends I didn't get any response from them. It's obvious they never treated me as girl. I never bothered about them nor him. All I know is I love him. I love him to the core. I get to know that he is in the park which is opposite to the college.. I reached there.. what I saw was. Death will be better for me. My friend Kavita and him were in a liplock I turned my head swiftly walked away from there..

I didn't reach my home that night. My father searched me all over the city. But they couldn't get any clue where I was. He was the one who found unconscious me in the other side of the park. He took me to my home. Later I was hospitalized for the trauma.

I said the reason of my state to my papa. He told me he can arrange my marriage with Sanskaar. But I warded of his obligation. I want him to be happy if his happiness lies with Kavita let him be. I doesn't want to interfere in his life and love.. as far I love him. I want him to be happy.. I wanted to move on.. from his thoughts. Soo I quite my studies.. I applied for the business administration course in USA.. that was my last day in India.. For now I avoided Kavita all the way. But now she is in my room talking all nicely with me. Talking about my love Sanskaar how can I leave him here and move on to USA as she knows how much I love him.. I can't take it anymore I slapped harder on her cheeks.. And blurted out everything what I saw on that day. My fateful day.. She started to shed crocodile tears. She told me that Sanskaar asked her not to tell me about them as I will reveal it to his family out of revenge. And she begged me.. I asked her about her betrayal to me.. she said Sanskaar can never love me. He used to address me as boy to her. Then her next words, As I'm a daughter of millionaire I can easily get another man like Sanskaar in my life. But being a middle class girl this was her chance to live a rich life. She was with him not for his love but for his money. I asked her never show her face to me. I doesn't want to spoil his love. I know he hate me.. But that this low.. I was heart broken. I tried to slit my wrists. My dad came in a Nick of a time and saved me took a promise from me that I should never do such cowardic act in my life.. I promised him.

After reaching here.. I had a conflict in between myself whether to change myself for him or not.. I choose the latter. If he can't love me for what I'm, let him be. I can't change myself for him... Behaving like boy isn't a sin.. Wearing pants, shortening my hair's is what he hate in me.. let him hate me. But it'll never change the course of my love for him..

It's been three long years.. I never visited India in these years. In fear of seeing him.. I can't see him. The man I loved the most. Still loving him. For his happiness I ran away from my family.

They were happy even my last videocall to my sister proved me.. him Kavita I saw them behind my sister. They were happily chatting and laughing. What had happened in this one year.. I want to know.. if Kavita is responsible for his condition, she going to pay a big praise for this.. for making him as a drugger...

In this part of the story I am the one who

dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,

because I love you,

Love, in fire and in blood.

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Part one ended here.. The quotes were Pablo Neruda..

I typed it just now.. if this not up to your mark forgive me..

[NOCOPY]

Seriously.2018-09-15 12:27:35