Chapter 8

Chapter 7 What meets the eye

“Tum couch pe so sakte ho,” she said, finally closing her laptop and rotating her head to get the kinks out of her neck. She picked up the laptop and walked towards the en-suite bedroom and closed the door. 

The first thing Shiva did was take that bloody blazer off and loosen the tie. He unbuttoned a few of the top buttons and felt like he could finally breathe. He plopped down on the couch when he heard the phone ring. He reached into his pocket, thinking it was probably someone from home. But it wasn’t his phone. Raavi’s phone was sitting on the table she’d been working at. He picked it up and went to the bedroom door. His first instinct had been to barge in, like he always did. But when the door didn’t budge, he realized she had locked the door and he was quickly brought back to the reality that they no longer shared a relationship of that kind, much less a room. He knocked but there was no response. He tried again and that’s when he heard the sound of water running. He was going to put the phone back on the desk when he accidentally ended up answering the call and putting it on speaker. 

“Aye ladki! Tujhe kya laga? Yeh sab karegi aur mera phone nahi uthayegi tho main tujhe aise hi chhod doonga? Main jaanta hoon tu dum dabaake Somnath jaake baithi hai. Tu duniya ke kisi bhi kone mein jaake chup jaa, main tujhe dhund nikaloonga aur phir main jo tera haal karunga..”

Shiva was boiling in rage and was ready to give the caller a piece of his mind when the phone was snatched from him. Raavi looked at him sternly before turning off the speakerphone and placing the phone to her ear. 

Surprisingly, she laughed. 

“Tiwariji, aapko jo karna hai kar lijiye. Darr unn logon ko lagtha hai jinke paas kuch khone ke liye ho. Aur mere paas khone ke liye kuch bhi nahi hai. Tho main aapse bilkul bhi nahi darthi. Par haan, ek request hai. Agli baar na, dhamki dene ke liye working hours pe call kijiyega. Kya hai na, after hours main bahut kam apna phone answer karti hoon. Aapki dhamki ki speech waste nahi jaani chahiye na? Good night.”

She hung up and turned to Shiva. Just as she’d said over the phone, there wasn’t a single crease of worry on her forehead.

“Agli baar se mera phone uthane ki galti math karna,” she warned him and was about to go back into the room.

“Raa… Madam..” Shiva’s voice stopped her in her tracks. “Yeh.. yeh kaun tha.. aur tumhe dhamki kyun de raha tha?” 

“None of your business,” she didn’t even turn around to respond. 

He walked over to stand in front of her, getting into her personal space the way he always had but careful not to touch her without her permission. 

“Shayad tum bhool rahi ho. Main tumhara bodyguard hoon. Agar koi tumhe dhamki de raha hai tho mujhe pura haq hai kaun, kyun Aur kya jaanne ka.”

She stared back into his onyx eyes. Not a flicker of emotion passing through the depths of her orbs. A placid stillness that was.. painful. Yes, the best way to describe it would be painful, Shiva realized. She’d always been so full of life, her eyes always twinkling in unblemished childlike glee. 

Shiva’s eyes were full of fire. Like they’d always been. Nothing had changed, Raavi reiterated to herself. Nothing had changed. He was still the hot headed, short tempered thick-skulled bull that he’d always been. 

“Haq, Mr. Pandya #3? Haq tho kuch bhi nahi hai aapka. Mere upar tho bilkul bhi nahi,” she said coldly and Shiva’s heart hurt. 

He took a step back. Raavi tried to make her way past him into the room but he held onto her wrist as she passed him by. It wasn’t his usual way of holding her, the way he normally pushed and pulled her around. His hold was light, hesitant almost. She turned to look at him. “Mujhe apni baath kehne ka ek mauka bhi nahi dogi?” 

His voice was soft, defeated and Raavi finally allowed herself to look at him properly. He was still every inch the Chattan Pandya she had always known him to be but there were fine lines across his forehead and around his eyes. Like he had spent many a sleepless night in worry. He was still very much the fire that destroyed everything in its wake, but somewhere beyond the fire, she saw an emptiness looming in his onyx eyes. 

“Please?” his voice was barely a whisper as he drew her closer to him. 

He could feel her gaze trying to pierce through his very soul to reach his truth and he hoped and prayed she would be willing to accept the truth she uncovered. She was clad in baby pink pajamas that highlighted the porcelain of her flawless skin. Her hair was up in a messy bun held in place by a pen that she'd carelessly tucked into it. His hands itched to pull the pen and let her hair cascade down and frame her heart shaped face. 

“Tu ne diya tha?” She spoke so softly, Shiva wasn’t sure if he’d heard her right. “Tu ne diya tha mujhe mauka apni baath kehne ka? Samjhaane ka? Kabhi meri kahi baat ko samajhne ki koshish ki thi tu ne?” She spoke clearly this time. But strangely, her voice and tone were completely devoid of any emotion. She wasn’t complaining to him. She wasn’t angry at him. She wasn’t upset. She wasn’t disappointed. It was like she felt nothing for him anymore, Shiva thought, his heart shattering in the middle of his chest. With that. She released her hand from his hold, before walking back calmly into the bedroom and shutting the door. 

Shiva sat down on the couch, resting his head in his hands. Why did it hurt so much still? 5 years of crying for her, pining for her, apologizing to her with every breath of his and still the hurt wouldn’t go away. He laid down on the couch, more emotionally exhausted than physically, and fell into a restless sleep.

Some time in the middle of the night, he woke up startled, with no idea what woke him up. That is when he heard the scream. He rushed to the bedroom door and knocked on it. “Raavi?” he called out worried. “Nahiiiii!!! Maine nahi!!! Main nahi!!! Nahiiii!!!” It was Raavi’s voice alright, and she was screaming. Worried for her, he flung his entire weight onto the locked door to break it open. It took him a couple of tries but he finally succeeded. He ran in and switched on the bedside lamp. Raavi was on the bed, flailing her arms and legs as if she was running, sweat pouring over her skin, panting, all with her eyes tightly closed. She was in some kind of a nightmare. He grabbed the jug of water by her bedside, poured some into his palm and splashed it on her face. She sat up with a start, panting and out of her wits. She looked around frantically and when she spotted him, she shrunk away in fear. “Main aisi nahi hoon,” she whispered before folding herself into fetal position. Shiva sat on the bed and pulled her into his arms. For a few moments, she kept shivering in his hold while he gently rubbed her ice cold arms to restore some warmth in them. “Shhhhh… Shhhhh Raavi.. Kuch nahi hua.. Main hoon yahan.. Bas bura sapna tha.. Shhhh,” he tried to soothe her. When her trembling finally stopped, she quickly scooted away from him as realization dawned on her. 

“Tum.. Tum theek ho?” he asked her cautiously. She simply nodded her head in response. “Tumhe.. Tumhe aane ki koi zaroorath nahi thi.. Main.. Main khud ko sambhal sakthi hoon,” she said, wiping off the water droplets from her face. “You may leave now. Aur haan, kal se Kaka ke saath room share kar lena.”

Shiva got off the bed hesitantly. Was she really okay? He wondered. Nevertheless, he made his way out of the room. As he was closing the half broken door behind him, he saw her reach into the nightstand drawer and popping some pills. What was going on with her? She had people threatening her, she was having weird nightmares and from the way she responded, it seemed like these were a normal occurrence and she was used to handling these nightmares, and the biggest one, she was popping pills. Raavi hated medicines of any kind. He remembered what lengths the whole Pandya family had to go to get her to eat any medicine. She was pretty strong willed in that matter. What had happened in these 5 years to the phoolkumari he had grown up with?

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