One Shot

Manasa

@MessyMind

I'm so lonely broken angel,

I'm so lonely, listen to my heart. 

I was snapped out of my trance as the song started playing in the music system. 

I wanted to laugh at the irony of how well I could relate myself to that song. If only I still remember what laughing feels like. 

But, am I alone?

Practically not! As for I've plenty of people in my family. Even now I'm not alone in the car. 

Being surrounded by so many people, however, I'm still feeling so lonely, because, He's not with me! 

And without him being by my side, anything and everything seems meaningless! 

He was the only one who could make me smile, laugh, love and live. 

But, now that he's gone, I forgot what all those things would feel like. And I don't want to know either.    

I leant back on my seat and closed my eyes as the car drove ahead on the highway. A cool breeze of wind gently hit my face, reminding me of him. 

I felt like his hands were gently caressing my cheeks like he always used to do. With the thought of him being near me, I slowly opened my eyes, only to realize that he's not there. Not anywhere around me! 

And that realization hit me so hard that I couldn't bear the increasing weight over my chest.   

A tear escaped my eyes. I quickly wiped it off as I don't want to let others see me crying. But, then again, that's what I was doing for a month. 

Perhaps, since he left me! 

I've been crying every second of every minute. And still, I'm not tired of it. Cause that's the only thing I could do when he's not with me. 

And he too knew that but, still, he left, leaving me all alone! 

I looked out of the window, hiding my crying face from the members in the car. I heard them talking about how they've enjoyed the picnic which was planned for me. 

My family members thought that going on a family picnic would change my mood. So, even after not willing to go, I had to join them for their own sake. 

And I really would have enjoyed it, had he been with me! 

As I got lost in my thoughts of him, we reached home at night. 

But, it doesn't feel like a home for me anymore, rather it's just a house with walls.

For me, home means being in his arms! 

I stepped into my room which contains loads of memories of us!

I walked up to the photo frame of us that is hanging onto the wall. I couldn't help myself from staring at his smiling face. 

I can spend a whole lifetime just by looking at that smile. 

He entered my life when I was completely clueless about what was happening to me. 

He not only saved my life from being hit by a truck a few years ago but also he had given a new meaning to it. And in no time, he had become my life! 

Both as a friend and as a husband, he had made my life a fairy tale. One that I can't imagine living in, without him.  

But, I might have to now, because... He's not with me anymore. 

As I thought about it, tears again started dropping down out of my eyes. And I'm not bothered to wipe them off. 

Maybe because my heart was hoping for him to come and wipe them off as it knows how much he would hate to see those tears in my eyes. 

He used to say that I look bad when I cry. And he would make all the possible things in the world to make me smile again. 

But, now he left, leaving me in nothing but tears. 

"Why did you do that?" I repeated the same question which I've been asking for a month. 

If only he could answer it! 

He promised that he'd always be with me like a bodyguard, saving me from all those that would try to hurt me.  

He didn't seem like faking it too. He meant every word he'd said. 

perhaps, that's why he left while saving me!

And that's what killing me all the time.

It was supposed to be me... But why he had to do that to save me! 

I know he loved me more than anything and anyone else.

But, is it fair to leave me alone like this? 

Didn't he know that I can't live without him? 

Wasn't he being selfish to kill himself while protecting me!? 

Yes, he was selfish! 

He always said that his life lies in me. So, he protected his life and took away mine! 

I caressed his pic as the tears continued to flow down my cheeks. 

"Come back to me... Please!" I cried my heart out, praying for the same thing for the nth time. 

But, all of my prayers seemed unheard by the almighty. 

"How many times I should tell you how bad you look while crying" I heard a voice.  

I can feel my heart speeding up its beat as it recognized whom that voice belonged to. 

I swiftly turned around to find him standing in the middle of the room. 

There he was standing, crossing his arms and looking at me with a stern face. 

I couldn't contain my happiness to finally be able to see him as I rooted to the ground, unmoved. 

After looking at me for a few seconds, he shook his head and took forward steps to reach me. 

"I hate these" he stood in front of me and took his hand up to wipe the tears off of my face. 

I kept gazing at his face as he gently caressed my cheeks whilst wiping the tears off. 

His touch felt magical and I wished for the time to stop at the moment. 

"Now give me that precious smile of yours" his husky voice sounded like a magical tune for my ears. 

And as always, my heart was under his spell and I smiled at him, obediently. 

"That's like my girl" he smiled too. I found myself smiling even brighter after seeing him smiling. 

He cupped my face in his palms and kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes, capturing the moment in my heart. 

When I slowly opened my eyes, he wasn't there anymore. I looked every corner of the room but, found him nowhere around. 

The pain in my heart, which was subsided for a while, was now back again. It was piercing my heart like a dagger and I felt like I'm out of breath. 

I rushed to open the window and held the grill tightly until my palms started aching. 

I hoped that physical pain could subside the emotional pain in my heart. But, it didn't. And maybe, it could never. 

I looked up at the moon to find his smiling face appeared on it. 

Tears again continued to stroll down as if there was no end. 

My heart was still wishing for him to come and wipe them off. 

"I wish that you could come back to me" my heart wished for the millionth time. 

I wish that I could touch, touch you again, feeling your love!