Chapter 3

Thank you everyone for your love and encouragement. I hated writing this chapter for multiple reasons but it was necessary for the rest of the story to unfold. I hope it isn’t horribly unbearable for you! As always, let me know what you think!

Cheers,

Neet

||Chapter 3 Yeh Moh Moh ke Dhaage||

“Gadhedi..” he uttered the name with as much reverence as a man dying of thirst drinking his last drop of water; hoping desperately to be saved, when he spotted her. The street light cast a faint amber glow on her petite frame making her look so young, vulnerable, sad, lonely and lost that Shiva had an overwhelming urge to just go up to her and gather in his arms. He reigned in his instincts instead and muttered under his breath about how careless she was to be roaming around at this time of night. And where the hell were Maami and Maama? Why hadn’t they stopped her from venturing out so late at night? Would this Chipkali ever let him live in peace? Shaking his head, he made sure to stay in the shadows as he followed her. She seemed to be walking aimlessly, not paying any attention whatsoever to her surroundings. When they had come quite the distance away from Maami’s house, Shiva had half a mind to shake some sense back into her and take her back to Maami’s house. But just then, both Raavi and Shiva heard the sound of motorcycle engines revving. She stopped and quickly turned around, doubling her pace as the sounds grew nearer.

Soon enough, six men seated on bikes were circling her like vultures hounding its prey. Her first instinct had been to call out for him.. Shiva.. Why? She wondered. She knew he was nowhere near and it wasn’t as if they shared some kind of telepathic connection that he would sense her in trouble and swoop in to save her. Who she thought was her own personal gunda was no longer on her team. Any chance of moping over the thought was cut off when one of the men whistled at her sharply. “Aadhi raat mein, sunsaan sadak par, akele akele kahan jaa rahi ho madam? Kaho tho hum chhod dein?” came a lewd comment. She tried to find her way out of the circling bikes but realized quick enough that she was trapped. “Arey! Arey! Itni tension kyun le rahi hain madam. Aa jao, triples baithke chalenge. Thoda aap adjust kar lena, thoda hum adjust kar lenge,” followed by mirthless laughter. She did not know what got over her, but she kicked one of the bikes hard and sent the men skidding. The other men stopped their bikes and got off. “Oh bhaisaab, yeh tho wohi hai na.. Raavi.. Apne college waali,” one of the men exclaimed. Raavi turned to look at the person and recognized him as Atul, one of her seniors from college who came to college for everything other than studying and had been there for over 8 years now.

“Kaun, Raavi?” another one asked. “Arey, apni Raavi.. Somnath ki sabse sundar ladki, kyun?” Atul leered at her as he caught hold of her dupatta. “Fikar not bhaiyyon. Aaj raath ka program set hai. Badi experienced hai madam. Poore college mein Dev Pandya ke saath gulchhare udathi thi, mandap pe aake Dev ne chhod diya. Uske maze tho ho gaye phir shaadi kyun kare? Gharwalon ne Dev ke bhai ke sar chipka diya. Lekin lagta hai, chhote bhai ko bhi second hand maal raas nahi aaya. Sunne mein aaya hai ki divorce ho raha hai. Fikar not baby doll. Humme second hand bhi chalega, bas shaadi waadi karne ko math bolna,” Atul stated, tugging at her dupatta. His laughter was cut short by a strong fist in his face. Raavi looked startled as Shiva snatched her dupatta back from Atul and flung it towards her. Hands and legs punched and kicked and the sound of bones cracking along with cries of pain echoed eerily in the night time silence. It didn’t take Shiva more than 5 minutes to send the goons packing. When he turned to face her, she stood there still as a porcelain doll. “Aye Gadhedi! Tere bheje mein bheja hai ki bina bheje ke hi bhagvaan ne bhej diya tujhe neeche? Itni raat ko akeli, chudailon ki tarah kahaan bhatak rahi hai? Aur woh maama-maami, aise kaise tujhe itni der raat ko bahar akele jaane diya?” He held her by her shoulders and wasn shaking her to get her to respond. In all honesty, he was so blinded by rage, he desperately wanted to destroy something. Hearing those men talk about Raavi.. He turned to find the men since he felt like he hadn’t beaten them enough but those rug rats had scampered away already.

When he turned back towards Raavi, he was surprised to find her walking away. “Ay Chipkali! Kahaan jaa rahi hai?” he asked her angry and frustrated beyond his wits. He grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him, sending her flying into his chest. For a second, he wanted to just hold her, make sure she was safe. But she pushed him away with force. “How does it matter to you anyways?” Raavi yelled, her eyes blazing with fury and hurt. “What difference does it make to you, Shiva? If those men tease me, hurt me, have their way with me..” “RAAVII!!” Shiva literally roared, fisting his hands by his sides, afraid of what he might end up doing otherwise. “Chilla mat!” Raavi replied with equal vigor. “I am not your personal property. You have no right to yell and scream at me and push me around. You were the one who wanted to end things between us, right? Then why this fake show of concern? Why should it bother you what people say or think of me? How many of these people are you going to beat up, Shiva?”

Raavi fell to the ground crying. “What did they say wrong, Shiva? First, I made a joke of myself by telling everyone that I loved Dev, only to find out at the wedding altar that he never even thought of marrying me. And now, and now, my marriage has become a joke too. I used to say I was the most beautiful girl in all of Somnath. Look at me! Within a span of three months, I got rejected and humiliated by two men. Maybe the fault is with me. Maybe I am not meant to be loved or to belong. Why? Why the hell did you save me from dying that day? I guess sahi maaynon mein yeh sachchi dushmani nibhayi hai tu ne mujhse, meri jaan bachakar.”

It broke Shiva’s heart to see Raavi in this state. He rushed to her, ready to take her in his arms but hesitated. “Raavi... Raavi...” he awkwardly patted her cheek instead. She shrugged and pushed his hand away. “Raavi, listen to me.. You.. You are not in the right frame of mind now. Let me walk you home so you can rest.” “Don’t you dare touch me!” she howled. “What right do you have to touch me? Or worry about my state of mind? I’m leftovers, remember? The girl who was crazy for your brother and you ended up with the leftovers. That is why I still disgust you, right? That is why you hate me!” “Raavi.. please.. just.. shut up,” Shiva ground his teeth has he pushed the words out of his mouth. “Just shut up or even I don’t know what I will do. Those fricking b*****ds are the worst of the worst. Are you going to let them decide your self-worth for you?” Shiva took a deep breath to calm the rage within him. “Raavi, please, just listen to me one last time. Please.. let me take you home.”

He placed his arms on her shoulders hesitantly and raised her to her feet. As they started walking back, a slight breeze picked up and she shivered, hugging her arms closer to herself. Shiva pulled her in a little closer to himself. “Raavi.. I know..” Shiva started, “I know.. I know that.. you.. never wanted to be married to me. You always wanted someone more.. gentlemanly.. And its not fair, that just because you were forced into marrying me, you have to let go of your dreams and hopes and wishes. That is just not fair. I know I am not your choice – never was, never could be. I just want to give you the freedom to make a choice for yourself. I don’t hate you.. There is absolutely no way you disgust me. In fact, it’s me you should be disgusted by. I am nothing even remotely close to your Prince Charming. I’m an anpad, jaahil, junglee. If anything, I could be the villain in your story, because you were made for fairytales. I don’t want you to compromise with me because it isn’t a compromise for me anymore.. I..” Shiva gulped down the rest of his words, too afraid to say them out loud.  

They were completely silent the rest of the way home. Shiva dropped her off at the front her house and waited in the shadows till Anita opened the door and let Raavi in. Even then, he couldn’t get himself to leave. He stood right outside her window, making sure she wouldn’t do anything stupid. He watched her as she quietly slipped into bed and fell asleep by the window watching her sleep.

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