Chapter 12

Khushi was in bad mood since morning,  and it did not escape Arnav's notice at breakfast. She was either snappy or very quite. Even the kids sensed that bua was not in a mood to oblige today and had their milk and meal without much fuss. As for Arnav, he tried to ask her the reason for this upset mood a few times but 'nothing' was the only answer he could extract out of her. Giving up, he also left for office.

'So what do you plan to do? Its been three months since Devyani ji's demise, now it's a different thing to stay in that house beti.'

'It's not right beti, to live with an unmarried man under the same roof.'

'This Raizada boy does not have a good reputation with girls you know, you tell me if you want to share anything, okay?'

'You have your own life, how long will you keep taking care of those babies? You are not even a blood relative. Think about yourself.'

'You are mature enough to decide what is right and wrong. We still live in a traditional society, don't forget that.'

These were the few sentences that were reverberating in Khushi's mind since her temple visit in the morning. A group of ladies who were naniji's 'friends' there, cornered her today to give her some 'advice'. Advice which made Khushi's blood boil. This society, these people, they will never change. Themselves they won't help, and if someone tries to make the best of situation, they have problems with it. 

This was not the first time she was hearing all this. When she started spending time with Shyam Bhai, tongues wagged at that time too. Hell he was just being a brother to her, and people made such creative stories out of it, that it could put tv serials to shame. She was young then and got affected for a while. But this time she does not care. Not even about the fact that Arnavji and her don't have so-called-relationship of any kind. He has treated her no less than family since she had started living here, and she'll not run away because of some useless gossip-mongers. Him and the babies need her right now.

It was no use telling Arnavji all this. He would have gotten beyond angry, and that would have not changed the opinion of those ladies. But in this house, the atmosphere would have had become tensed unnecessarily. He has come out of his shell with so much difficulty after naniji. She would let nothing affect that. At present Arnavji can use all the care and concern possible. By now she knew that this enigmatic man named Arnav Singh Raizada is not as cold and as detached as he potrays to the world. He was still coping with his profound loss and it'll take him time to heal, but thankfully he does not clam up like he used to two months back.  Her patience was paying off and he was opening up to her these days. And she wants it to stay that way. She sighed and cursed those aunties once more in her heart and tried to divert her attention off them.

'So, is your mood better now?'  Arnav asked at the dining table that night.

'What happened to my mood?'  Khushi asked while feeding some curd from her plate to Adya who was sitting on her lap.

'Nothing. You looked a little upset in the morning, so asked'  said a concerned Arnav, feeling that she was hurt and was not sharing the reason.

'I was a little tensed about my studies, thats all'  Khushi lied through her teeth. Arnav did not believe her but did not push the matter.

'How's the new nanny?  Whats her name... Savita?'  he changed the topic.

'She is good. Kids like her as well. I too get a lot of time to study now. All thanks to you and your idea to keep her'  Khushi smiled.

'Don't thank me. If we start with the thank you's I will have to spend a good amount of my life thanking you'  Arnav said as a matter of fact.

'These babies are my bhai's too. I don't need you to thank me for taking care of them'  Khushi retorted.

'We both know that it's not just the babies that you are taking care of. Them, the household and me, we all depend on you now. So stop being modest and take the credit you so deserve'  Arnav said in a warm tone.

Khushi just smiled in response. Their dining table routine was restored, other than being temperamental Arnavji was taking care of himself these days, toddlers were happy and healthy and her studies were on track. She thanked God in her heart. In current situation, she could not ask for more from Him. 

Arnav did not like to beat around the bush, not even with himself. He had slowly but whole heartedly accepted two important truths of his life.

First, Adit and Adya were no more his di's babies for him. They have become his own kids. Agreed that they were the thread joining him to his di's memories, but have slowly become much more than a reminder of a relationship to him. They are now his children. Their children actually. Khushi's role is supreme in their lives.

Second thing he realized is that he had feelings for Khushi. He did not know how to define it. Most obvious defination would be to say that he was in love with her. Only problem was that he did not know what love was. He always thought it was an over rated and over commercialized emotion between a man and a woman. He just knew that he will hold on to her for all his life, no matter what. And he sure hopes that she agrees. The connection and attraction he felt towards her was too strong to be defined in words. His conscience was clear and nothing else mattered. But will it matter to Khushi sometime in future? Maybe, he guessed. But the single gigantic issue right now, was that he did not know what was in her mind. Was it just concern from her side or is it more? What does she think of him? Is it all just a responsibility to her?  He cringed remembering the emotional blackmail he crafted on the lines of her responsibility towards the kids as a payback to his di and jiju to make her stay here. 

'How the hell was I supposed to know at that time that I will want her with myself, for myself,  for all my life'  he grumbled under his breath.

While he was thinking all this, the girl in question herself came there, dressed in her red PJ's and black night t-shirt, with two mugs in her hands. She handed one to Arnav and settled on the chair beside his at the poolside. Khushi took naniji's idea of family time, revamped it a little and started their late night chit chat time in order to get Arnavji to talk to her. And to her immense relief, the idea worked. He did not resist it much. And they have become quite comfortable with each other now. Naniji's idea can never go wrong, she smiled.

'I am not a fan of green tea'  Arnav looked at his mug and made a face.

'Its better than black coffee, it'll help you sleep at night etc etc etc, and we have been through this like a thousand times before, so can we talk about something else'  Khushi replied unaffected, sipping her milk. 

She had forced Arnav to switch to green tea at night time from black coffee citing health reasons. He could not get out of it due to the validity of the argument and also because it was her who was arguing. Other option offered was milk, so he chose lesser of the two evils.

'Khushi, you are okay with living here?'  he changed the topic as she wished and tried to broach the subject whirling in his mind a few minutes back.

Khushi's head shot up. Does he know what happened in mandir today? She winced inwardly  'God No. Please'. 

'Are you happy? I mean are you 'really' happy spending your life like this with me, with us, and not because you have to?'  he asked wishing for some clue from her side.

Khushi realeased a breath she did not know she was holding hearing that. 'Silly me. How would he know?' she rebuked her insane thinking.

'You can tell me. I won't mind the truth'  he added when she did not respond.

'You are in the same situation. I can ask you the same'  Khushi re-winded what he just said in her mind and calmly asked back.

'My case is different' he retorted.

'Why? Just because you are related to Adit Adya by blood?'  she frowned.

'No. Because I have seen much more that life has to offer than you, and I've had my share of fun in life. Parties, late nights...'  he hesitantly added   '...girlfriends'. 

'Oh! So you think I should also go to late night parties and have boyfriends?'  she asked grinning.

'NO. Never. ABSOLUTELY NO.' He clarified at a lightening speed. All the nerve endings in his brain came alive at the very thought. Damn, it has come out all wrong. SH**. He will have to think thoroughly before speaking on this topic with her. 

Before Arnavji's anger could rise, which she was learning to deal with rather than getting scared of, she volunteered an explanation sensing the irritation that had crept in his voice.

'Don't worry Arnavji, I don't have any such plans'  Khushi laughed.  'I am having fun in my own way in life. And as for my lifestyle, Shyam bhai always told me to concentrate on my studies and not waste my time in these things. He had promised to bring me my handsome and loving prince charming when I am ready for marriage'  she smiled sadly remembering her brother.

Just like Anjali di, who was always trying to make him agree to get married and bring home a loving and caring wife, Arnav cynically reminisced.

As they chatted away in the night, two stars smiled at them brightly from the sky above.