Chapter 5

Phew!! this is the longest chapter I've ever written:) OK this chapter is dedicated to a dear friend in an attempt to lift her out of depression. I made extra sure that I included Arhi in here, to cheer her up, so I really hope it works:) Also, please excuse any grammatical mistakes and errors, I was typing in a hurry

Chapter Five

Shyam stood more or less at a loss, not entirely sure he understood what had just happened.

But before he could start pondering over Arnav's words, the glass door slid open noiselessly, and Hari Prakash peeked at him through the gap.

'Shymaji, they are asking for you in the living room'.

***

Arnav strode into the living room after he was sure everyone else had gathered there, including Buaji and Garima, who had just been about to leave. He tried to ignore the faint pangs of uncertainty that attacked him as all eyes shifted towards him expectantly.

He cleared his throat. Had talking to his own family ever been this hard?

'I have some good news', he began, trying his best not to look at Khushi. If he looked at her, he was sure he would forget everything he had planned to say, and wind up messing up his own meticulous plan. The atmosphere in the room tingled with expectation as everyone waited for him to continue.

'Bauji'' he could sense Khushi's head jerk up at that word- not only was Arnav mentioning her father, he was also claiming a relation with him, calling him Bauji just like she did. He tried his best not to meet her gaze.

'Bauji- got his ability to speak back. And he can move now too'.

Nothing could have prepared Arnav for the eruption that took place in that room in that moment. It was as though a dam just broke, releasing a wave of tearful happiness, relief, glee, crashing against every person in the room. It was a heady feeling, all this positivity, enveloping the cold that had frozen Arnav with welcoming warmth; he was happy too, he realized. He was happy that his father-in-law was recovering. But Arnav did not notice the stream of questions being sent his way, the quizzical expression on Nani's face, the emotional sight of Garima dissolving into tears of helpless joy as Buaji embraced her, equally tearful.

Arnav watched Shyam with almost clinical detachment.

And what he saw served merely to confirm any doubts he may have harboured. To say that Shyam looked guilty would have been a gross understatement. It seemed as though a mask had fallen off his face, leaving it looking ludicrously distorted. His eyes had widened to almost perfect spheres, while his jaw hung open for a second before he came to his senses and closed his mouth. But he could not control his facial expressions from contorting into a picture of perfect dismay. If Arnav had not been fighting the desire to smash that face onto hard concrete, he might even have found his expressions ridiculously comical.

The next ten minutes passed with Arnav filling in the rest of the family with details. Happyji had called to inform him that he had just taken Shashi Gupta, who seemed to have had a seizure, to the hospital. How he had been unsure of who to call, since no body had been at home and he didn't know Buaji's cell phone number. How, by an immense stroke of luck, Aman had been at the same hospital having his routine medical check-up done. How he had recognized him from the wedding. How Aman had obligingly provided him with Arnav's number, enabling him to call him and inform him of the developments.

Arnav did not add, however, that all these events had happened a good three hours ago. He did not add that he had actually been driving home when he had received the call, and had had to make a U-turn to the hospital because the doctor had taken the phone from Happyji to inform him that he needed to see him immediately. That the matter was urgent. That he feared someone had been messing around with Shashi Gupta's health.

He also did not add everything he had heard, seen, discovered, after he had reached the hospital.

Arnav thanked his stars for having mastered the art of dominating a discussion. Whether it was at home or at work, the ring of finality, the overbearing authority, and quiet self-assurance in his speech was usually enough to ensure nobody would interrupt him, question his decisions or try to contradict him.

Except' a small voice tried to tell him, which he shushed immediately. He wasn't done yet.

Shashi Gupta was absolutely fine, he informed his family, largely his in-laws. He was currently under the best possible care in the best hospital in the city. Arnav had just finished speaking to the doctor, who was hopeful that there would be no complications and Shashi would soon be on the way to recovery. He fed the doctor's number onto Buaji's phone so she could call him and talk him herself for her own peace of mind. Unfortunately, since it was so late into the night, they could not go and visit him as he was still quite weak, and was at any rate sedated. The doctor had advised that no one visit him at the hospital this evening, as he would obviously be excited to speak to them all, and might end up over-exerting himself. But, Arnav promised, he would drive them all, the whole Gupta family, there first thing in the morning.

Throughout this whole recital, Arnav had to force himself not to look at Khushi. He had to be calm, had to be level-headed, to set his stage. He drew comfort from the fact that Aman, Happyji, the doctor and Shashi Gupta himself were all perfectly aware of the story he had chosen to tell the family, although he hadn't taken particular pains to explain his reasons for doing so. No one, apart from him and the doctor, knew that Shashi Gupta's paralysis was not a fatal accident, but the consequence of a murder attempt. And that truth could not come out all of a sudden; too much hung in the balance. There was Di and her blind devotion to Shyam. There was the lack of evidence, the fact that it would be extremely hard to pin the crime on him. And moreover- Arnav had wanted to see for himself what Shyam's reaction to this revelation would be, whether he would give anything away to confirm the facts he had learnt of so far. Arnav grimly reminded himself that the night wasn't over; he had set the stage, now he had to watch the play unfold.

Satisfied that his part of the set-up had been performed to perfection, Arnav finally granted himself a moment's respite. The happy, overjoyed chatter lulled into a mere buzzing in the background as he finally gave in to his heart's desire and turned to look at Khushi.

What he saw took his breath away.

***

Khushi felt the muscles of her face flex effortlessly as her lips were pulled up into a smile. Not a fake smile, not a forced smile, not the type of smile she had adopted to perfection and put on whenever the occasion had demanded it since she had become part of the Raizada family. A full-blown, blindingly bright smile lit her face, making her appear suddenly so much more alive. Her eyes sparkled, her skin flushed as she embraced her sister tightly. Tears brimmed over in her eyes.

Khushi felt she had grown wings on her feet; she suddenly felt as light as air as her feet carried her towards her mother of their own accord. Her heart swelled with joy, joy she could not put into words, joy which had no limits, joy which made her feel like she was going to explode, unable to contain it within herself. A multitude of emotions captured her, sent her senses into a frenzy of excitement, as tears fell freely down her face.

It had been so long, so very long, since she had smiled. So very long since she had been this happy. A warm rush of love, affection, memories, anticipation, unsaid words, unfulfilled promises engulfed her, making her feel dizzy. It had been so very long since she had felt such hope, dared to dream such dreams.

***

She looked beautiful.

Awestruck, Arnav watched as Khushi glowed in the midst of all his family. She seemed suddenly radiant, emitting her own light, overshadowing everyone else in the room. He watched her as she fluttered from one person to the next, unable to sit still, unable to hold herself, to control her delight.

She had transformed completely, all traces of weariness, of grief, of suffering, gone. Arnav swallowed as his heart did a series of curious somersaults and backflips. I made her smile like that. It was what I said that made her so happy. I brought the news that's made her smile again.

And although he knew there really was no credit due to him for that, he couldn't help but feel lighter. Warmer.

After everyone had sobered up a little, Buaji announced that they ought to be leaving. Arnav offered to drop them home, and dashed up to the bedroom to get his car keys.

It wasn't because he was in a hurry though. It was because he knew Khushi would be there, because Anjali had just sent her to fetch something she had left there earlier.

***

'Khushi', he whispered huskily. He did not know why, but his voice refused to sound normal. He could not even understand why he was whispering; it was an involuntary reaction.

Khushi jumped slightly as she heard his voice behind her. She felt her skin prickle, and something settled heavily in the bottom of her stomach as dread seeped through her.

She turned around to face him, bracing herself for the words she was sure he was going to fling at her, sharp edges of words reminding her that this changed nothing, that he still hated her, that he wasn't doing her a favour by looking out for her father.

Arnav gauged her expression for a second before whispering, 'Get some sleep, okay? We need to be up early tomorrow to go the hospital.'

Khushi's eyes widened as they flitted up to his face. She stood stock still for a whole minute, half formulated thoughts racing against each other in her mind, as sheer confusion rendered her incapable of doing or saying anything.

Arnav glanced at her one last time before grabbing his keys off of the bedside table and leaving the room. He did not know exactly what he had wanted to say to her. Just that there was an overpowering urge to see her, be with her, talk to her. To assure himself that she was there, she was with him. But when he had opened his mouth, all the words had died on his lips.

This is going to be difficult.

Khushi stood rooted to the spot, staring at the door through which he had just disappeared. Her mouth was slightly opened, eyes wide. She felt an irresistible urge to pinch herself.

Did he really just say that? Was I imagining it? Hai Devi Maiyya, am I dreaming?

***

By the time Arnav returned home, it was quite late. He had dropped Buaji and Garima at home, stopped over at Happyji's to remind him not to slip up on the story they had agreed on, before making a last stop at the hospital to make sure everything was alright.

As he walked into his room, preoccupied, his eyes caught sight of the empty bed, the only light coming from the poolside, where the moonlight was reflected off of the calm waters. He frowned slightly as he dropped his keys on a table, advancing further into the room wondering where Khushi was.

Until he caught sight of the edge of a mattress, peeping out from beside his bed. Arnav suddenly felt suffocated as he scooted over to take a closer look.

In middle of the mattress, under the white, rumpled sheets, Khushi lay fast asleep. Her dark hair fanned out behind her, in stark contrast against the milky white of her pillow. Her arm was twined around one edge of the pillow, as she pulled it close against her, her face partially buried in it.

Arnav choked back a strong desire to either fall down on his knees, or bang his head against the wall. The guilt which had been making frequent visits to him on an on-again, off-again basis all day finally broke down his defences, and left him teetering. Regret seemed to rise up from the floor, clutching at him, tugging him inexorably to a vortex of pitch black hopelessness. Once again, Arnav felt an uncomfortable prickling in his eyes.

He crept closer to where she lay, trying not to make any noise, bending over slightly to get a better look. She was clearly in a deep slumber. Her breathing was deep and regular as she curled up into the warmth of the covers, blissfully resting. Despite all the profanities that the little voice in his head was shouting at him, the numerous shards of self-disgust that jabbed at his heart and soul, Arnav felt the smallest ounce of contentment as he realized that she was finally getting some rest, some sound sleep, relieved that the news of her father's recovery had taken at least some of the worry off of her.

He stood straight again, uncertain what to do next. He felt something invisible, yet unbelievably strong, tug at him, preventing him from moving away from her. His arms itched to lift her up into the comfort of the bed, but fear that he might wake her up and disturb her slumber stopped him.

There was one other thing he could do though.

***

Arnav did not remember the last time he had felt so peaceful.

Never, surrounded by pillows stuffed with soft down, covered by sheets of pure silk, had he felt so comfortable as he felt now, curled up under the blanket with Khushi in his arms. Arnav did not allow himself to think about what he was doing, or why he was doing it. All he knew was that he would give up a thousand nights of sleep, go through the turmoil he had been through again and again, for every minute he could spend with Khushi with her back softly pressed against him, feeling her breathe against him, drowning in the sweet, addictive fragrance of her hair that sent him in a trance.

Arnav scuttled closer to her, tightening his arm around her tentatively. He had never understood how much he has wanted to hold her, to feel her warmth, until this moment, when that unspoken, unacknowledged desire was fulfilled. It was as though he had been walking around with half his heart, and only now, having found the other half, was it beating properly.

He remembered their first hug. How Khushi had rushed to him unthinkingly, seeking solace, reassurance, comfort, in his arms. A lump formed in his throat as he mentally berated himself for not offering her exactly that. Unconsciously, he pulled her closer, willing her to believe that he would never repeat that mistake ever again. That he would hold her close whenever she needed him.

He knew the road ahead of him was going to be difficult. He knew he was in for a lot of pain, anguish, grief- that he would have to struggle to win her trust back, to erase the memory of every cruel deed he had done to her, heal every wound he had inflicted on her. Yes, it would be difficult. But Arnav Singh Raizada had never been afraid of challenged; he never let anything get in his way when he wanted to achieve something. And what he wanted today, now, for the rest of his life, was too important to lose.

It was ironic, he contemplated, as he shifted his head slightly to breathe into Khushi's hair deeply, that of all the people in the world, the person who had helped him understand what he wanted was none other than the person who had capsized all his dreams in the first place. Now that he thought about it, there was something distinctly comical about the situation; how Shyam, inflating with pomposity, had tried to provoke him only to set his life into perspective. How he had walked in in the midst of a crisis of the mind, where Arnav did not have the slightest idea of what to do, what to think, to feel, and almost spelled out for him, clearly, what he really thought, what he felt, what he wanted, what he was going to get, no matter what.

The absurdity of the situation rose in him suddenly, a curious feeling rising through his chest.

Arnav began to snigger.

And he couldn't stop. The thought of what Shyam would do if he realized the damage he had done this evening made him laugh even harder. It was an alien feeling he could not understand, and neither could he stop. His whole body shook with suppressed laughter as he tried to breathe. This was the third time in so many years that he had been moved to hilarity to such an extent that he had no control over himself.

Without thinking, as though it was the most natural thing in the world to do, Arnav buried his head into Khushi's hair in an attempt to stop chortling.

***

Khushi felt something hot against the skin of her neck, and awoke with a yelp, jerking out of bed only to be pulled back down against something warm and solid. Senses clouded over, her confusion reached new heights when a voice whispered in her ear, 'Go back to sleep, Khushi, it's only one in the morning'.

Khushi attempted to turn around, only to find her sleepy eyes looking into a pair of caramel brown ones, twinkling in the darkness. Her head feeling fuzzy, not entirely sure whether this was a dream or a hallucination, Khushi mumbled somewhat incoherently, 'What happened? Did you fall out of bed?'

Arnav raised an eyebrow at the solution offered by what was quite clearly a semi-conscious Khushi.

'I'd have to jump out of bed to land here, Khushi', he told her quietly, watching, amused, as she blinked successively trying, and failing to get her bearings.

'So you jumped out of bed? Were you sleep-walking?' Khushi mumbled, the sleep stinging in her eyes as she struggled to keep them open. She finally gave up and turned her face into the softness of her pillow.

'Just shut up and go back to sleep Khushi', a voice suggested gently in her ear. It was a most welcome suggestion, and Khushi found herself drifting into dreamland once more.

On any other day, if Khushi Kumari Gupta had awoken to find a man in her bed, she would have brought the house down screaming. If that man happened to be Arnav Singh Raizada, she would have had a heart-attack, or fainted promptly. But Khushi's brain was too befuddled with sleep that had been building up for so long that it did not process the significance of her current situation. It did not even remember, in fact, that Khushi Kumari Gupta had been replaced by Khushi Singh Raizada.

Maybe he bumped his head while falling off the bed, Khushi suggested, making a mental note to check his head for bumps before she fell into unconsciousness again.

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-doe-eyes-2012-02-16 14:06:54