Chapter 6

Part 6 -"Afterglow"

Sumit drops Sai home and he can see she is still frustrated. 

Sumit calls her gently, “Sai”

Sai is so deeply engrossed in her thoughts that she does not realise they have reached her destination. 

He calls again and that brings her to reality.

“Haan Sir.. aap kuch keh rahe the”

“Tumhara ghar aa gaya hai…”

Sai sheepishly registers her surroundings and says,

“Oh sorry… maine realise nahi kiya…”

Sumit looks at her and smiles and with a slight hesitation says,

“Ek baat bolu Sai?” and waits for her reaction.

Sai wondering what he is about to say just nods.

“It's not my place to say this to you or even to him but from what I just saw you both are still somehow attached to each other, unresolved issues hai tum dono ke. Use sort out kyun nahi kar lete?”

Sai, expecting this would be a topic of conversation, wearily smiles at Sumit and says,

“Sir… ab kuch bolne sunne ko raha nahi hai. I am training myself to be unaffected by his presence”

“Lekin phir bhi farak to pad raha hai na Sai… use bhi aur tumhe bhi” Sumit blurts out and Sai looks at him in surprise.

Noticing her reaction, Sumit then says, “I mean he told me.. He regrets this divorce”

The surprise disappears from Sai’s face, she goes into her contemplative mode for some time, but then looking straight ahead, mumbles, 

“Haan.. farak padta hai.. Mujhe bhi .. par vaisa nahi jaisa aapko lag raha hai… kisi ke saath itna waqt saath bitaane se aapko unki aadat ho jaati hai… Vaise hi hum dono ko hui thi… bas isse jyada kuch nahi. Aur kuch hota bhi to jo dard unhone mujhe diya hai usne un sab acchhi yaado ko bhi kharab kar diya hai. I keep thinking if I read too much. And I don't want to go into that self bashing mode again.”

She looks at Sumit and he can see the tears that are threatening to fall. In this moment, all he feels is a genuine concern for such a young girl and all that she had to suffer. 

“Sai.. ek aur baat bolu? As a doctor, you know very well that as much as physical healing is important, mental wellness is also needed. Kya hum aise patient ko thik kar sakte hai jisne jeene ki aas chod di ho? Nahi na. Zindagi bhi vaisi hi hai… jo chij tumhe dard de rahi hai use thik karne ki zimmedari bhi hamari hai. You won't be able to heal yourself and neither move ahead if you keep on avoiding this conversation. Face it properly. If you don't want to talk to him, share it with someone else or get professional help”

Sai, tired with the hectic day and the unpleasant interaction with Virat, is overwhelmed at Sumits words. She absorbs everything quietly and nods at him. He understands that his words have had the desired effect. He gives her a gentle smile and Sai reciprocates. She wishes him good night and leaves.

Sai contemplates on Sumits words for a few days and surprisingly even Sandhya and Aniket come to the same conclusion that she should talk to Virat once. Sai finally passes the message through Sumit for Virat.

Virat is excited to be meeting with Sai. He has dressed up better than usual. Pakhi has obviously noticed this and asks him, 

“Kahin ja rahe ho Virat?”

Irritated at her interference, Virat replies, “Tumse matlab?”

“Are… bahot dino baad khush dikh rahe ho… acchhe se tayyar hue ho.. Isliye pucha… Sai se milne ja rahe ho?”

Virat, in a bid to end the conversation just nods.

Pakhi sniggers and purposefully asks “Vo Dr. Sumit bhi aa rahe hai kya?”

This immediately upsets Virat and he looks angrily at Pakhi

“Vo kyun aayega?”

“Are vo aise hi… Sai se saath kafi dosti hui hai aisa lagta hai… bas isliye pucha”

“Mere pass time nahi hai in sab baato ka… main ja raha hun” Virat leaves angrily saying this, but Pakhi smiles inwardly knowing that her guess was right.

Sai is sitting on the same bench at Naag Nadi… where she met Virat last time.

She is feeling nervous, worried about the direction the discussion would go. However, she composes herself and in her mind goes over everything she has prepared herself to say to him. Sai chuckles at herself, she has never ever worried so much for any exam like she does today. She puts on her earpods and listens to “Afterglow”

Here I am, lost in the light of the moon that comes through my window

Bathed in blue, the walls of my memory divides the thorns from the roses

It's you and the roses

Touch me and I will follow in your afterglow

Heal me from all this sorrow

As I let you go, I will find my way when I see your eyes

Now I'm living in your afterglow

Virat sees her sitting there lost in her thoughts. He comes and sits near her. She looks at him and a faint smile passes between them. Unsure who will speak first, Sai just shares one of her earpods to Virat.

Main bhi yahan har ek awaaj main sunti hun tumko

baithi yahan har roz har baat se chunti hun timko 

Main sunti hun tumko

Ab bhi vo sama hai ghere mujhe

Touch me and I will follow in your afterglow

Heal me from all this sorrow

As I let you go, I will find my way

I will sacrifice 'til the blinding day when I see your eyes

Now I'm living in your afterglow

Uncomfortable with the words that the song suggests, Virat finally speaks up,

“Kaisi ho? How are studies going on?”

Sai smiles sarcastically, “Ye sab baat karne to nahi aaye hai na hum, jo baat karni hai vo kare?”

Virat nods, they both start by saying “You go first”

Ultimately, it is Sai who speaks first,

“Pichli baar jab hum yaha mile the, I told you, I had some feelings for you… But whatever you did after that has left a bad taste in my mouth. I cannot forgive you for what you did to us, or whatever that was ‘us’ ”

“Whatever??? Sai… hum dost the.. Main … main pyaar…” and he leaves it incomplete.

Sai laughs haughtily, “Dekha… abhi bhi nai bol pa rahe hai na aap… kyunki vo sach nahi hai.. Aapne bas maan liya hai ki sach hai… lekin aapka dil aur aapki zubaan sehmat nahi hai”

Virat, pained at her comment, “Nahi Sai.. aisa nahi hai…”

Sai replies, “Nahi Mr. Chavan.. Aisa hi hai.. Aapko lagta hai ki aapko mujhse…. Pyaar hai… lekin mujhe aisa nahi lagta… aisa hota to aap mujhe jaane nahi dete.. Rok lete… sach batate… aapko lagta hai ki kyunki main aapki biwi thi, hamari shaadi hui thi.. isliye aapko mujhse pyaar karna chahiye. It wasn't love.”

By now, Virat is extremely upset and hurt. He once again starts saying, “Tum mujhe galat samajh rahi ho”

Sai smiles and replies.. “Nahi… galat tab samajhti thi.. What you felt was puppy love.. Because you felt obliged to love me.. but Love does not bind you, it lets you fly because it knows that at the end of day, you will come back. Love is not selfish. It doesn't need validation from the other side.”

Sai pauses to gather her breath. Virat is stunned with her words, unable to formulate what he wants to say.

Sai continues,

“Aapne mujhse baatein chupayi kyunki aap jaante the ki main aapko ek criminal ka saath nahi dene deti. Agar aap sach main mujhse pyaar karte, mere jazbaato ki aapko parvah hoti to aap vo vaada hi nahi karte. Aap mujhse baat karte, discuss karte. Aapko meri, mere ethics ki, emotions ki kadr hoti. Aaba ki kadr hoti jinhone vo goli apne seene main li. Isliye keh rahi hun ki vo pyaar nahi tha. Bas aadat thi saath rehne ki” 

Virat, now finally seems to be understanding her hurt, gently keeps his hand over hers. Sai looks at it sadly and continues,

“Anyway.. Maine aapko ye batane ko bulaya tha… ki aap bhul jaiye ki hamara koi rishta tha.. Main bhi vahi kar rahi hun. Right now, I want to focus on my career, Aaba ka sapna pura karna hai … Isliye behtar yahi hoga ki agar hum mile bhi to aap ye sab purani baatein na dohraaye. Let's pretend that we don't know each other”.

Sai withdraws her hand from his and looks at Virat. He is unable to speak as tears stream his face. He only manages to say sorry to her. Sai looks at him one last time, checking whether he has anything to say. Smiling at his silence, Sai walks away.

The lyrics ringing in his ears, Virat puts his head down and lets go, crying inconsolably.

When the veils are gone, as I let you go, as I let you go

Touch me and I will follow in your afterglow

Heal me from all this sorrow

As I let you go, I will find my way, I will sacrifice

Now I'm living in your afterglow

----

The chapter is inspired by two poems on this forum. 

One by Rani_sahiba 

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/5276436

Other by sadiltl

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/5275404

The song to me signifies the good and bad times in a relationship and the fact that even if it ends there is something that remains as an afterglow.

Afterglow by INXS featuring Sona Mohapatra.. The remixed version is featured in this post. 

The part is not that good and did not turn out as expected. Sorry if it disappoints.