Chapter 2

[MEMBERSONLY]

[NOCOPY]

Chapter - 2

A week after Sai left CN

Sai sat near the window of her hostel room. The night was serene. With the green trees all around, the cool breeze causing the rustling of leaves interrupting the silence of midnight and accentuating the pleasant and calming quotient of atmosphere. But it did nothing to the storm that was building inside her threatening to consume her whole being.  

It only had been a few days since she left CN, her so called family (she laughed sarcastically at that thought), but then her eyes welled as she remembered the inseparable yet dear members of this family. Yes, she had left CN, she left Shivani Bua, Mohit , Aai. And she left...Virat Sir....her husband. Husband, the word now sounded alien yet so endearing and familiar at the same time. It had taken her a while to break them down and acknowledge this strange, new feeling. Her recent stay at CN after Virat was shot, had been different at many levels. The angst she felt when she got to know about the mission, to the break down on knowing about him being shot during the mission. It had all happened in a series of blurred moments, and she had no time to reflect on her emotions. She had acted on impulse or rather was guided by her heart..which was something she avoided when it came to Virat. The days that followed had been a bliss, their relationship grew in such a short span. Something had changed overnight and they had then built it up from there. It had been a happy comfortable space that was just theirs. Only them! 

She was aware of the change in Virat. The way he looked at her, made her blush and she would look away. The way he tried to flirt with her, didn't go unnoticed. She had also caught him staring at her a few times. He always supported her and stood by her. There were times when they would just be sitting closeby and doing their own thing, but the proximity did things unknown to her. His casual touches raised goosebumps and made her go weak in her knees. His cute excuses with puppy eyes every know and then to make her stay back would make her heart flutter. But despite all this she had ensured that she never gave away any of her feelings. Every time she said that she will leave once he recovers, she felt the someone was squeezing life out of her. The statement was meant more for her than for anyone else. There was something that had definitely changed between them, but she didn't... couldn't dare to hope. Every night when she went to bed the thoughts of the past clouded her mind and fear gripped her.

It all started more than 4 years ago after her Aaba had been transferred to Gadchiroli. She had instantly taken a liking to the place and the people. But that day changed her life. Her first encounter with Jagtap. She was barely 15, when the son of the local goon had started following her on her way back from school. She had been a fearless and strong girl but this kind of harassment was new to her.  She had still managed to hold her ground, and he had walked away, but not before giving a wink which signified that it was far from over. After he left she had shrunk down to the ground as she felt all the energy drain out of her. That day marked the beginning of an ordeal that was to change her life forever. That day and all the incidents that followed through a span for 4 years and ended with her Aaba's death were engraved in her mind forever. The next time she came face to face Jagtap he hounded her and when she tried walk past him, he held her hand and twisted it pulling her closer. She tried hard to break free, but his hold had been strong. The passing of a police vehicle had saved her that day as the sound of siren had made Jagtap reluctantly let go off her hand. This had been a traumatic experience for her as a young girl and she had cried her way home. When her Aaba had seen the mark on her wrist he had questioned and she had narrated the entire incident to him as she couldn't hold back. Her Aaba had been furious and had decided to take action against Jagtap. But that's when they understood the real power and terror that his father exercised in Gadchiroli. With the life threat to her Aaba things took an ugly turn. And Sai decided to manage things herself and not complain to her Aaba. But the incident had left its mark on her. That hand twisting had scarred her for life. She had started to cringed inwardly and fear gripped her whenever a some one touched or held her hand. It used to take all her strength to now show her emotions while she carefully moved away. She had quietly cried herself to sleep on many nights as she couldn't bear to let her Aaba see her in this state. It would break him. Her Aaba was the only man she felt safe around. He was her protective shield. Though she had braced herself to tackle Jagtap herself, she wasn't prepared for the hounding, stalking and harassment that followed for years before Virat came to Gadchiroli. With her first impression and constant fight that followed, she never knew that he would eventually take on the mantle of her protector. Despite all their arguments and fights, he was the first person in years that she felt safe around. Even during their compromise wedding, just after her life had come crashing down with her Aaba's death, when he held her hand, she felt safe. Even in that entire turmoil and churn of emotions, she didn't flinch at that touch, instead it had strangely felt natural, secure...shielded! She had went on to stay with him in his house as his wife, sharing the same room and the same bed. But never did she feel the old fear grip her at his closeness or touch like she had experienced all this while with the others. Even though it had been a very strained relationship and toxic life as the daughter in law of Chavan family, she had never felt scared with Virat around. But then that day he had held her hand tightly when he tried to stop her from going to Pulkit's house. She felt that panic resurface and she had decided to leave...run away! He had apologized for actions and he was forgiven. She had given into his guilty words and tears. And things resumed back to normal. He had unknowingly become her safe space. Virat had never known about this vulnerable side of her, because he had never witnessed it and she had never let a soul know about it....not even her husband.

Then what had stopped her from staying back in CN now. Virat had apologized profusely multiple times, and somewhere she had started to forgive him. Yes, it was her self respect and the indifferent behaviour and the impenitence of some CN family members. But there was more to it that no one knew. During the night when she was in solitude, her mind would play out the past and the reality of the compromising nature of their marriage. She knew that Virat loved Patralekha even if he had not stated it clearly. She was no fool to not see through their conduct especially Patralekha. Sai had recognised the hatred for her in her eyes, in her taunts and in her actions. Sai knew that their marriage probably had no future. She had become complacent and comfortable in this marriage arrangement, and she realised that she had dared to hope. Unknowingly she was getting drawn towards Virat. She was strong and fiercely independent and she was sure she could manage things on her own. She had proclaimed the same after her Aaba's death when she was forced into the marriage and had said it again to the CN family members at various occasions. But, she knew her life had crumbled and she was completely lost and broken after losing her Aaba. She had vowed never to be dependent on anyone. Now she dreaded that history would repeat herself. With her growing attachment to Virat and protective feel his presence gave her, she felt that she would break again if she lost him. And she wanted to eliminate that emotional dependency on Virat. Because she knew she wouldn't survive this separation even if it was not the same as her Aaba. She wouldn’t be able to deal with a loss the second time. She had to protect herself and only she could do it. So decided to leave while it was all still nascent. 

Though Sai had misjudged her level of attachment. She had felt herself almost giving into Virat's insistence. His care and concern and the love... Even if that couldn't be placed as that of a lover of husband. She had walked away in order save herself from caving in to his cute ways. As the days progressed the pain and anxiety in heart heightened and she cried her heart out in isolation. It had torn her to walk out of that door, ignoring the pleas of Aai, Mohit and Virat. She didn't spare a glance back because they would have seen her tears and known her grief. She knew, that one look at Virat would make her give up her resolve. 

That had been a week ago, but the pain was still so fresh. She missed Aai and she longed to see Virat. He had been calling her regularly to check on her. But she would avoid the calls most of the time as he would indirectly insist on her return. Thinking of him her eyes welled up again. She wiped her tears and looked out from the window particularly at nothing. Only to divert her mind from Virat.

As her eyes lazily roamed around the scenery outside her window, basking in the tranquility of the night and nature, her eyes went back to a tree that stood a little away from the hostel building. For a split second she felt she saw a shadow lurching in the darkness lit by the full moon, behind the armour of the tree and then it was gone. She tried to reason herself that it was just an illusion and her mind was playing games, but the sudden acceleration of her heart beat and a strange sense of fear creeping in made her feel otherwise.

Chapter 3 - Renditions of heart

[MEMBERSONLY]