Chapter 3

Pottermeow

@Pottermeow

[NOCOPY]

Hello peeps!!! It's been a bit over a month since I put up the first chapter of this... And I have a crazy schedule planned out for it now. I'll be alternating between 1 chapter of this FF, then something else, unless I'm feeling particularly inspired. Some of my best works so far have been inspired by prompts, so feel free to reach out with them! 

Also, check page 1 for my Note about tagging, please. 

Disclaimer: This is a medium sized chapter! ~3.2k words. Mentions of suicide attempt, no description. I'll be putting up a discussion post next. Please feel free to interact! And let me know of any suggestions about pacing or plot that you might have. 

 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Lost and Found

From: Mona Prabhakar Vyas

To: Raavi Prabhakar Vyas

Meri Pyaari Dhikri, Raavi ke liye, apni Maa ki taraf se pehle chitti iss janam ki. Jo tumhe milne main abhi bohot saal baaki hain, meri bacchi. Kyun ki abh tu bas das din ki nanhi si jaan hain, aur yeh chitti? Main tujhe teri shaadi ki din hi padhne dungi! 

Raavi. Bohot khwaishein hain meri, teri Papa ki, poori parivaar ki, teri zindagi ke baare main. Ki tujhe kaise badhe karenge, tujhe har koi choti choti khushi denge, aur bade bade bhi! Teri Nana ji ko tumhe kuch aur din apne paas rakhna hain, par Dada Dadi tho waiting list main abhi bache hue haina? Aur tere Papa? Voh tho kuch aur din yahaan reh nahi payenge, chote chote ladhai jo aati rehte hain unke aur tere Nana ki beech... Voh dono kabhi nahi sudhrenge! Mere pyaar ke liye shaadi karwake apna tho liya tere Nana ji ne, par gamand nahi jaane denge. 

Khair, meri Bacchi! Teri shaadi ki din tak tho tujhe khud yeh saari kahaaniyaan hazaar baar sunaya hi honge hum sab ne. Iss chitti mai usko main phir se kyun likhoon? Aur voh bhi, jab iss chitti likhne ki khaas vajah, YEH kahaani tho bilkul bhi nahi hain? Iss chitti ko main isiliye likh rahi hoon taaki main tujhe teri zindagi ki sabse anmol baat bata sakun... Zindagi ko jeene ki tareeka. Sabse accha tareeka. 

Abh to tu soch rahi hogi, ki yeh 'Mama ko aaj kya hua? Paagal waagal, senti wenti, ho gayi kya bhavnaon main behke?! Mujhe tho pata hi hain ki zindagi kaise jeete!' Haina? Aur mujhe pata hain, teri badi badi aankhon ki chamak se, ki tu zindagi ko jeene ki tareeke bohot acche se seekhegi. Shayad itni acchi se, ki tujhse teri badhon seekhe. 

Bata hain, tu meri sapnon main kaise hoti hai? Khushi se, haste, khil khilati hui. Parivaar ke saath gul milke, par apni alag pehchan ko bhi bina chode. Apni har khwaish puri karlo gi, par doosron ki khwaishen bhi adhura nahi chodo gi. Padhi likhi bhi hogi tu zindagi main, aur sanskaari bhi. Apni sarr samman se jhukao gi bhi, aur ussi vakt garv se uncha bhi karo gi, khud ki aur hum sab ki sar. Par dhikri, jaanti ho aaj teri yeh mumma tujhe kya bolna chahti hoon? Voh ek cheez, jo shayad maine aaj tak tujhse kabhi nahi bola hoga, kyun ki aaj tak hum sab the tere saath iss baat ki khayal rakhne ke liye.... 

Ki naa bolna galat nahi hota meri bacchi. Har baar sar jhuk ke logon ki baat maan na zaruri nahi hoti. Ki jab baat teri respect pe aa jaye? Duniya se lad le Bacchi, aur haar mat maan. Chahe voh teri apnon se bhari hui khud ki choti si duniya hi kyun naa ho.

Meri Maa ne, teri Nani ne mujhse yahi baat boli thi, jab mandap ke baahar meri baaraat aur teri Papa khade hue the. Aaj main tujhse bol raha hoon. Kyun ki pata nahi kyun, aaj kuch ajeeb lag raha hain, aur mere dil ne mujhse kahan mere sapnon main aake, ki 'likho yeh chitti, teri pyaari dhikri, teri Raavi ke liye, Mona!'

Abh khi khi kar li, tho chal, aur jaake shaadi kar lo! Teri Mumma ki aashirvaad tere saath humesha hogi, chahe main khud tere saath hun ya nahi! Aur mere Damad ko bol, ki Mumma aaopko strength ke liye accha khana roz aakar khilayenge, dekhte rehna! Kyun ki tujhe jo sambhalna hoga usse! 

Accha abhi teri Papa bula rahe hain!!! Bye!!! Kal Ahmedabad se laut ke yeh chitti seedhe locker main bandh! Tab tak, Maasi maa ko tang mat karna, theek hain? 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Shiva stood silently, practically unseen, at the worker's entrance to the mandap at the back of the building, eyes clenched shut and trying to put his thoughts into some kind of order. 

Shiva!, he heard a phantom voice call for him again, broken and in pain, and he opened his eyes once more, squinting them against the bright sunlight of the outdoors with an exhaled huff. There was a lawn outside. For photography and outdoor banquets and the like, and the fresh air kept him sane despite the hustle and bustle of workers decorating and cooking and moving things around. 

Kyun bachaya mujhe?! She had asked him that, and it had hurt at first, because had she truly thought he was some monster who would watch as she died. But then that hurt had quickly been overcome by a much more horrible feeling. 

Kyun bachaya?! Marne kyun nahi diya?! Mujhse nafrat karta haina tu, toh marne kyun nahi diya?! She had asked him that, her tiny hands hitting at his chest not moving him so much as a half inch, the scent of jasmine and sandalwood and tears rising off of her. 

He had always believed that her feelings for Dev were only childish, and largely exaggerated. She had wanted their family with all her heart perhaps, but Dev had only been a convenient option, someone she had liked and hence the only option for her. The rest had all seemed to be dreams made of dust and clouds, not reality. But when she'd been so exhausted her head had almost laid itself on his shoulder, hanging limply from the shawl of his sherwani until Maami had pulled her away and into a hug? He had doubted it. Did she truly LOVE Dev, then? He had wondered that, even as he had clenched his fists to keep from raising a hand to her head. To TRY to somehow comfort her. 

Aur phir? The ever present voice within him questioned. Snarky as ever. Voh tere parivaar ke saath theek hain, tere saath nahi. Jisse uski dard samajh bhi nahi aayega. He ignored the voice within. 

And even if she didn't love Dev, what did it matter? Raavi and his hostile relationship aside, no girl deserved this. Raavi didn't deserve this, Maami ki behen ki beti or not. Dev needed to pay for this, he thought again, because that was the only thing he was sure of at the moment. No matter that he still wasn't sure if it was her pride or her heart that had taken the bigger hit. 

He turned around to walk inside, to catch hold of that idiot brother of his and ask him how he could possibly do this to Raavi. To the girl they'd all known their whole lives. And that was when he saw his Bhabhi, eyes teary and pleading, Gaumbi and Maa further away, but one eye still on the both of them. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

She hadn't had many tears to shed. Not as the pain and the bitter taste of betrayal that the family she had loved as her own had given her still lingered in her body. So she had whispered to her Maasi that she wanted to leave, that she couldn't breathe. She'd left out the fact that it was the sight of the decorations that she'd personally asked for for the wedding that suffocated her now. Kept her from breathing. 

Her Maasi had pulled her Mausa pa aside and talked to him in angry whispers as she had stayed limp in Anita di's hold. The hold her Maasi had carefully transferred her to before moving even a step away. Seconds or minutes or hours later, her Mausa Pa's arm around her shoulder held her body up as Maasi Ma and Anita Di quietly led them out of the mandap. Making sure that none of the guests caught sight of them. There had been enough gossip for one day, already. 

"Raavi!", she heard someone call after her, and she froze, not wanting to turn around, but not able to walk away either. Mausa Pa stopped with her, and within seconds Dhara di was in front of her, eyes pleading and hands held up together in front of her beseechingly.

"Mat jaa Raavi. Koi na koi raasta tho zarur nikal ayega", Dhara di said, her eyes pleading to give her one last chance. One last bit of faith. But why? Wasn't it all over anyway? "Koi bhi rasta nikal lo Dhara di, lekin Dev se tho meri shaadi nahi hogi na aaj?" She needed to know, needed to know if there was something left that was still worth taking a risk over. Because she didn't think so. 

Her Mausa Pa interrupted as Dhara Di tried to reply to her. "Das saal pehle humari galti ki vajah se, Anita ki zindagi barbaad ho gayi. Aaj ussi galti ki vajah se Raavi ki shaadi toot gayi. Abh humare paas zeher kha ke mar jaane ke alava aur koi raasta nahi hain". He sounded broken, she realised. Her Mausa Pa, Jagat Narayan, simple and happy soul and a point of brightness in every life he'd ever touched, sounded tired. 

"Aisa mat kahiye Mama ji! Bas mujhe ek mauka dijiye", Di pleaded again, her focus shifting to Mausa before returning to her again as she bent her head down, not wanting to see the tears in her Di's eyes. "Usse kya hoga beta? Kya ho jayega? Raavi ki kismat tho nahi badlegi na?!", he replied, his voice low yet thin now and the barest hint of anger peaking through, as if he was too close to breaking down himself. 

Raavi wanted to feel the same way. Angry, frustrated, with purpose. Something. But all she felt was a kind of tiredness that made her feel that if she let go now, she would float away and keep at it forever. She looked up at Di from the velvet cloth of her maroon skirts, at the tears resting on her Di's lashes, and felt her heart clench in pain. Perhaps they had all betrayed her, but hadn't Raavi loved them all truly? 

"Ek mauka", she said, voice hoarse and low from all the crying and screaming at her fate. She cleared her throat, blinking away the tears gathering in her own eyes before repeating herself. "Ek mauka. Aadha ghanta. Aapko jo karna hain, uske andar kijiye. Lekin main Dev se hargiz shaadi nahi karungi, tho aap usse manane ki baath chod hi dijiye Di", she said, turning back towards the bride's rooms even as she heard her Maasi pull in a shocked breath. 

She had barely walked out of her Mausa pa's hold when Dhara Di called out to her again, stopping her. "Kyun Raavi?", she asked, and Raavi half turned before answering. "Kyun ki uske paas mujhe dene ke liye kuch bhi nahi hain, aur aise khokle rishte mai main nahi jee paungi".

Five minutes later, as she turned away from the afternoon sun she'd been staring at through the open window of the room she'd dressed in that day, she caught sight of a brown envelope on her dressing table. A letter from a stranger, to a 10 day old baby. A gift before a wedding, of knowledge and of love. And she reached out to pick it up before settling herself on the bed.

 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Something felt wrong. Well, more wrong than everything already was. Something about the nervous, desperate hope in his Bhabhi's eyes, and the way his Maa seemed to be waiting for disappointment to hit. 

"Shiva?", his Bhabhi called out to him softly, and he turned towards her, taking his eyes off his Maa and Gaumbi. "Ji bhabhi?"

"Pata nahi haq rakti hoon ya nahi. Pan agar aaj tujhse kuch mangungi, tho kya tu mujhe voh de payega Shiva?" He took a step back, shocked. Dhara Bhabhi had known him his whole life. Had been a guiding hand after his Papa's passing, and then like a second mother ever since she'd married Gaumbi and officially become a part of their family. He didn't remember the last time she had had to ask him for something. 

"Bh-bhabhi? Kya bol rahe ho bhabhi? Aap ko mujhse kuch maangne ki zarurat hai kya? Haan? Aap, aap order do! Main abhi kar doonga!", he replied, moving back forward and trying to let his words themselves show the conviction he had in them. How much he meant them. 

"Order nahi Shiva", she said, shaking her head a couple times before grabbing the end of her lehenga's dupatta, letting it spread between both hands as she held them apart in front of her. He stood there shocked, knowing the weight of the gesture yet not understanding what could be so important that it would require that. "Apna aanchal phehlake tujhse tera haq maang rahi hoon, Shiva. Tera zindagi ka sabse bada faisla lene ka haq maang rahi hoon. Raavi se shaadi karle Shiva".

He shook his head in disbelief, eyes blinking rapidly as he wondered if this was some crazy dream of his. "Tune dekha na? Ki voh kya karne jaa rahi thi? Khudkushi", she says, raising her hands further up in front of him and he sees that moment where Raavi was hanging limply in his mind's eye again, and he clenches his eyes shut against it. No. He wouldn't let that happen again, he thinks. But him? Why would Raavi ever want to marry him? She wouldn't, and it was that simple. 

He let his hands raise to his Bhabhi's shoulders as he squeezes them gently. Trying to provide some modicum of comfort before telling her that perhaps this wasn't the best of ideas. But she interrupts him, as if she knows that he might refuse her. "Shiva, agar Raavi aaj mandap tak aake bina shaadi hue vapas gayi na, tho accha nahi lagega Shiva! Upar se Anita bhi ghar pe hi hain abh tak uski shaadi tutne ke baad. Bata hain Mama ji ne kya kaha? Ki unke paas abh zeher khaane ki alawa aur koi raasta nahi hain", she said, letting a sob escape, and he felt his heart freeze in that moment of horror again. "Raavi humesha se humari parivaar ki hissa banna chahti thi, uski sapna thi yeh! Kam se kam agar voh humari ghar main rahegi tho khush rahegi Shiva".

And he couldn't deny that. Perhaps she would not wasn't him ever, but she had always wanted his family. He knew that that was probably nowhere near enough, but it was a start, wasn't it? He looked towards Gaumbi and his Maa. Towards their faces that were braced for disappointment already, and he felt his shaky resolve harden. For his family? Anything.

"Bhabhi, maine kaha na aapse? Ki aapko bas mujhe order dene ki zarurat hain, aur main abhi kar dunga? Raavi se main shaadi karungi Bhabhi", he said, straightening up, yet his head still bowed down towards her. His Bhabhi blinked, as if not sure what she had heard was true, before stepping forward to take him in a hug just as her eyes widened in realisation that yes, he had said that, and yes, he meant it. He stepped back though, out of her reach, and she stopped, a look of confusion taking over the tentative joy on her face. "Agar Raavi maan gayi, tho yeh shaadi karunga", he said, before turning off and walking outside. 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Raavi looked at the clock again. The half hour she had given Dhara Di was nearly over. 2 minutes to go, actually. She looked to where she had placed the letter on top of the pillow beside her again, smoothing the places the paper had been folded. She felt calmer, now. Although she was still carefully avoiding looking at the pink cloth hanging from the fan. The sight of the noose frightened her, made her eyes well up in shame. 

Had she really been so foolish as to try to take her own life? It was hard to believe, knowing as she did that she was a pretty happy soul in general. Or that's what everyone had always told her, and that's what Raavi had always chosen to believe in. Just as her thoughts began to spiral again, she shook her head, looking at the clock again. 30 seconds more. Then she could leave this cursed place. 

She stood up just as there was a gentle but quick rap on the door, and stayed frozen to her spot as Anita Di opened it. In came Dhara Di, Gaumbi right behind her, and they stood just within the door, looking uncertainly at each other's faces before Gaumbi nodded at Dhara Di and she stepped further inside. Towards her, she realised. 

Something big was about to happen, her gut told her, and she was reminded of the strange dream that she didn't remember from a while back when she'd fallen unconscious. She didn't know why, though. Nervously turning to look back at Gaumbi one last time, Dhara Di faced her. "Jaanti hoon ki shahad abhi tumse yeh sawaal punchna galat hoga Raavi", she said, taking in a deep breath as Raavi felt her stomach clench in anxiety, waiting. Waiting for the bomb to drop. "Pan kya tu meri Shiva ki Gauri banegi?"

Silence. The whole room was so silent it rang in her ears. And then everyone was talking as she stumbled back to sit on the bed again. Her Maasi going on about how Shiva didn't deserve her and was this the plan all along and absolutely not! Her Mausa pa's pained, angry voice reaching her through it all. Something about how was this fair to her, and what about Shiva? Dhara di and Gaumbi replying, parivaar ki izzat, Raavi ki khushi and Anita pehle se ghar par hain echoing in her ears. And then Dhara Di alone, Shiva tayaar hai. 

Shiva tayaar hai. 

Shiva tayaar hai.

Raavi sat there through it all, her eyes wide and fists clenching the sheets of the bed beneath her. Until her Mausa pa placed his hands on her shoulders, gently shaking her as he called out to her. "Raavi? Dhikri?"

She blinked, tears falling down her cheeks, and the blurry figure of her Mausa Pa morphed into a clearer version of him, his eyes pleading for something he hadn't asked of her yet. She lifted her chin to look him in the eye, and he waited until he was sure that was all he was getting out of her right now. 

"Raavi, janti hoon main tujhe galat lagunga. Par mujhe yahi sahi raasta lag raha hain abhi. Shiva se shaadi karle beta, aur aaj nahi tho kal, tu khush rahegi", and as she saw the tears gather in his eyes she knew what her answer was going to be. She looked behind her, to the letter carefully laid out on the pillow as her mind recalled its contents. Practically memorised that it was. 

And then she turned back forwards just as she heard the room door creak open again, Krish pushing Suman Kaki in her wheelchair inside. She met Kaki's worried gaze before looking back towards her Mausa pa, his eyes still fixed on her. 

"Mere liye", he asked of her. And she replied, "Aapke liye, Mausa pa. Par meri ek shart hain".

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

To Ritu: I did put it up today. Although I missed my own deadline. 

To everyone: Please do read, and comment! Constructive criticism, appreciation, prompts, what you'd like to see next on this. Anything! 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hello again! As an author, I thrive on feedback. It not only feels good, but also tells me where I might be right or wrong. And because this is a retelling of sorts, isn't there sooooo much to talk about? 

So I'm going to be doing these posts where I talk about what inspired me to change something, or keep something the same, or the writing process, or songs I listened to on loop and why.... Random things that I thought might interest readers or other authors. Do tell me what you think of it, whether I should continue or not, and please consider interacting! 

 Moving on!!!! Why was Mona Vyas necessary? Her letter, I mean? Raavi calls her a stranger, which she is, so why does a stranger's letter matter so much? I'm a pro-choice person. I've always felt that good decisions or bad, it should be made by ME if it's about my life. And thanks to my parents, I've always had that opportunity. But does that mean a decision made in haste is alright? I think NOT! And that's where Mona Vyas comes in. Mona Vyas, although practically a stranger, is where Raavi comes FROM. Her first home in this world was Mona Vyas, pretty literally. And when everybody else in her world were too shaken to anchor her, that's where Mona Vyas comes in. Raavi might not consider her her mother, but I felt that in a time of need, she would not mind looking towards her. 

This is also precisely why Jhuki Jhuki Si Nazar was on loop while I wrote this section of it. No connection between the situations of the song and this, perhaps, but the song reminded me of a lost Raavi searching for an anchor. For SOMEONE. Sunidhi Chauhan's live rendition of it only added pain to the already beautiful melody.... 

Next up, why doesn't Jagat Narayan have the chest pain in this story? Because, again, I'm pro choice. And I've found that a bad decision made by oneself is always easier to stomach than a good decision forced upon us. Which is exactly what happens to Raavi in both the OG and PS. There's a natural impulse to run from the corner she's trapped in, which has always explained a lot of the initial animosity towards Shiva despite claiming to like him before the wedding. Because she felt trapped. And by removing that chest pain and letting Raavi CHOOSE one of the only options she has, I'm setting a stage for easier positive progression. 

Also, the dream in the last part pulled her thoughts AWAY from Dev, towards an elusive SOMETHING, and although her axis hasn't completely changed yet, it's moved. By an inch or two or maybe more... 

Again, I never liked how easily Jagat agreed to the Shivi wedding, because I felt that a Papa would've put more thought into it, demanded more explanation, tried to see all sides of the issue, which is why here you see him protesting before agreeing.... 

Last point! Shiva, dearest Shiva. I modified the dialogues in his scene with Dhara. Took parts of the OG and modufied them too (where there was no suicide attempt, and hence no focus on Shiva SAVING Raavi). I've always been mildly offended by those lines. A suicidal person needs therapy, not marriage. But sadly, most of Indian society is a combination of therapy sessions, a reformative home, and a training centre. And THAT wasn't what Raavi needed. Societal pressure and fear of tarnished reputations seemed a lesser evil to me, and so that's what I used. Atleast now there's no saviour tag, and it's become a marriage of practicality, hasn't it? 

And this relatively lesser issue than a suicidal woman allows for Shiva HIMSELF to have a choice. He is agreeing to let fickle society judge his family guilty if he refuses, not sentencing a woman to death. Also, what do you think took the bigger hit? Raavi's heart or her pride? What do you think her shart will be? 

Let me know of this was interesting, or of any use, and whether you would like for me to continue it or not. I would understand if some people feel like this gives too much of the story away and would like for me to avoid this rambling session....  Also, this is completely unedited and was written improptu, so forgive me if  my thoughts did not flow as well as I hope they would.