In Conversation with Abhijeet

3 years ago

HereAsMyself

@HereAsMyself

Varun did not hear Abhijeet come in. He never did—Abhijeet’s years in the police force had taught him to walk softly—but this time he was too busy thinking of something else. Abhijeet had to call out twice before he responded.

‘I’m sorry, Sir’, he said. ‘KD Sir has gone to Jaipur. Did you want him for something particular?’

‘I just wanted to say hello,’ says Abhijeet, sitting down in the chair opposite Varun’s. ‘I was going to meet my informer and thought I’d look in’. He looked at Varun without appearing to—years of subtle observation came in handy. The boy’s eyes were clouded and his usually thin frame looked a little gaunt. He looked like he hadn’t been sleeping properly. ‘Something on your mind?’

He’s noticed, Varun thought. Abhijeet was the most perceptive of his team, so perceptive that he managed to blend into his former life even with a permanently absent memory. ‘Nothing, Sir,’ he said, ‘just…’

Abhijeet looked on at the boy, silently encouraging him to continue. Varun hesitated, but he’d heard a lot about Abhijeet’s friendship with Daya and knew if anyone would understand it was he. ‘I’m  worried Sir’, he said.

‘Of?’

Well Sir…’ Varun trailed off before he continued, his normally polished, rapid speech halting and hesitant. It reminded Abhijeet of a child, much younger than Varun’s twenty-six years. ‘I’m very happy KD Sir has found his family, please don’t get me wrong, but I’m worried he… he isn’t really going to think about me anymore. I’m his assistant and of course it’s an honour to work with him, but it’s always been more than that between us, and I couldn’t bear it if…’. He left the sentence incomplete, wondering whether he sounded like a bored, jealous teenager. But Abhijeet asked a very unexpected question, ‘You’re very lonely, aren’t you? Why’s a young man like you sitting in his office when his boss isn’t there? You don’t work without KD.’

Varun looked away, tears pooling in his eyes. He couldn’t tell Abhijeet what he was frightened of. Abhijeet would probably laugh at him and tell KD later to get a better assistant.

Varun was afraid of not being good enough: he wasn’t a law school graduate like Niyati or Sunaina, nor street-smart like Shraman. He was just a graduate who’d been fortunate enough to work with KD because KD was his uncle’s friend. Probably one of the only reasons KD kept him around—he was too polite to tell his friend he could get a better assistant than Varun any day. He couldn’t tell Abhijeet how badly he saw KD as family and wanted KD to see him as family too. He loved his uncle and was grateful for his raising him after his parents died, but they weren’t close. But KD had his own family now, and what did Varun ever bring him but problems? Friends in trouble, cousins accused of murder, acquaintances to be bailed out?

He couldn’t tell anybody about his problems with Shefali, or why he hadn’t introduced her to anybody. He did like her, but he also put up with a lot. She called at odd hours, suspected him of cheating on her with multiple women and—this was the worst—she didn’t like KD. She thought he kept Varun working till odd hours and, for some reason unknown, thought he didn’t approve of Varun’s relationship with her. She’s wanted him to find another job many times before. Varun had been wondering about breaking up for some time now, but dreaded that KD would find out the reason and, good, kind-hearted man that he was, would find him a position with another lawyer friend, explaining he didn’t want to stand in Varun’s way of happiness. It was a scene out of Varun’s worst nightmare.

A touch on the shoulder brought him back to the present. He looked up at Abhijeet.

‘Do you remember the time you were presumed dead, and then came to light as a cannibal? KD proved you innocent, brought you home?’ Varun simply nodded.

‘I was in Madhya Pradesh at the time, looking for Laldwani’s killer’, says Abhijeet, ‘so I wasn’t present. But Inspector Dave is my friend, and he told me KD wept like a child when he was taken to see your body’.

Varun blinked. The idea of his suave, composed boss weeping was unreal enough to be almost ludicrous. Abhijeet saw the disbelief in the younger man’s eyes.

‘Dave was there when it happened,’ he said. ‘KD successfully proved himself innocent in court, but he was a mental wreck. Wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t sleep, wouldn’t go home. Didn’t leave the office unless absolutely necessary. Kept taking cases till he was so worn out he couldn’t look straight. His family called him, told him to visit for a few days, take a break.  He didn’t listen. Dave was worried KD would collapse. Thankfully it never came to that.’

Varun kept staring, unable to find words. He knew his boss liked him, but he’d had no idea he had been missed that deeply.

Abhijeet kept looking down at him. ‘Family isn’t simply blood, Varun. Who knows that better than I do? Better than Daya does? Better than ACP Sir? KD’s made up with his father, he met his brother after years, but that doesn’t mean you no longer have a place in his life.’

‘Are you sure?’ Varun sounds so much like a little boy that Abhijeet is tempted to call KD and get him to talk to Varun. He settles for smiling, instead. ‘I am. KD loves you, Varun. You’re the child he neve had. He’s not going to tell you so, but even a blind man could see it.’

‘He’s the father figure I never had’, Varun blurts out before he can stop himself. He’s blushing, but Abhijeet notes with some relief that the pain in his eyes is gone, replaced by shining hope. Abhijeet’s work is done, and whatever happens next must happen between him and KD. ‘Then tell KD that,’ says Abhijeet, thinking of numerous similar conversations he had had himself with ACP Sir over the years. ‘Never does any good to let such thoughts fester, and life’s short. You never  know what happens tomorrow. Talk to KD, tell him what you just told me. It’ll be an awkward conversation. But trust me, you’ll both feel better.’ Smiling again, Abhijeet shakes his head as Varun thanks him profusely and leaves to meet his informer.

Varun takes up his phone, takes a deep breath and dials KD’s number.

KD answers on the first ring…