Chapter 30

Roli was still unable to absorb what she just got to know. The information was too much for her to wrap her head around at once. However, she did realise that it was the reality, even if it was as bitter as it could be.

She couldn't sit still after Aryan locked himself in the study room. With the laptop in her lap, she started searching for everything she could find to learn more about split personality disorder.

When she was too engrossed in reading a psychology article, there was a knock on the door. Roli's head shot up and her eyes flickered at the sight of the person standing at the door.

Roli stood up, keeping the laptop aside. She wasn't sure if he was Sid or Aryan. It was a strange feeling for her for not being able to recognise her Sid. As she stared at him, he slowly walked into the room.

His eyes looked tired whilst his face was grim. The usual charm was missing in his whole persona at the moment. Finding her staring at him quietly, he spoke, gently, "it's me,"

 
  
And that was enough for her to know that it was Sid. Her Sid! Without wasting a second further, she almost jumped up to hug him.

"I missed you," Roli said, wrapping her arms around his waist. She suddenly felt like she got him back after ages. When in fact, she just saw him a few hours ago, but he was Aryan then.

Sid, on the other hand, was rather calm. Apparently, he was too lost in his thoughts that he didn't even hug her back. 

When Roli realised he was not responding, she broke the hug and looked at him. Only then she noticed the pain in his eyes.

"Are you okay?" She asked, worried.

"I'm sorry," Sid's voice was filled with guilt. Jatin had told him what all had happened the previous night as soon as he stepped out of the study room this morning. He felt so remorseful that he couldn't even dare to face Roli. It took a lot of his courage to finally gather himself to face her.

"You don't have to be sorry," Roli held his arms.

Sid shook his head. "I became selfish. I hid my truth from you just to keep you close to me. But, I forgot about the evil residing within me__"

"There is no evil in you," Roli interrupted him. "Don't blame it upon you."

"No evil in me? I killed someone," his voice was low, "I'm a murderer!"

Roli fell silent after hearing his words. She really didn't know how to react to his confession.

"If I'm not evil then what else am I?" Sid had never felt so guilty before. The mere thought of ending someone's life had shaken up his entire being.

He knew how vicious Aryan was. But, he never in his rarest dreams had expected him to be so cruel as to actually kill a person.

Roli couldn't take it anymore as she slowly said, "Don't blame yourself." Probably, it was the first time she saw him in such a miserable state that it broke her heart.

"You look so tired. Take some rest first," she said, worried.

Sid hesitated for a moment before asking, "Yesterday... did Aryan... hurt you?"

His sudden question made her reminded of Aryan's behaviour from the previous night. He was surely so rash towards her but she would never tell Sid that and make him worried.

"No, he didn't," she replied, firmly.

When he was about to say something, Roli interrupted, "No more talking now. You need rest." 

Then without giving him the chance to deny her, she made him sleep. Perhaps he was too tired that he was soon fast asleep.

A few moments later, Roli walked out of the room to find Jatin in the hall. He was pacing around in the room as if he was waiting for something eagerly.

"Sid?" Jatin asked as soon as he spotted Roli.

"He slept," Roli replied, "he looks so weak. Is this how it's gonna be every time he switches to Aryan?"

"The fatigue usually comes with switching personalities. But, its depth may alter based on how long the alternates are switched on. If the alternate personality gets switched for a little while then it won't affect much on the host personality except for the memory gaps. Yesterday it was the longest that Aryan had been active so it made Sid worn out." Jatin answered.

"What does the host personality and memory gaps exactly mean?" Roli looked puzzled. She read so many articles about this topic till now but couldn't understand the terminology properly.

"Come, I'll show you," Jatin sat on the sofa, turned on the laptop.

Roli settled beside him and listened to him as he explained everything in detail with the help of a video playing on the laptop screen.

"Are there no medicines for this?" Roli was stunned at the information about Sid's health condition. She wanted to know if there was a solution to it.

"If it's any other health issue then I would have tried to cure it by now. But, this is psychological, Roli. And to cure these kinds of problems, doctors will need complete support and consent of the patient, which Sid isn't ready to do," Jatin sighed, helplessly.

"Why is he not ready to do?" Roli couldn't believe Sid to be so careless about his health.

"You know how he is, a super reserved guy. It's almost next to impossible to get anything out of him. And if we don't know what is actually there in his mind, we can't help him to get cured. But, the problem is he is not ready to open up about his issues." Jatin explained.

Roli fell into deep thoughts. She knew Sid was so reserved that he would rarely express his feelings even to her. But, he had to get cured which needed him to open up. She didn't know what to do. 

"But, there is something I found out," Jatin said, gaining Roli's attention.

"What is it?" Roli looked at him, curiously.

"As far as I have observed, I noticed that there is a reason that acts as a trigger for Aryan to get switched," Jatin said.

"What's the reason?" Roli was hopeful to find something that could be of some use. However, what Jatin said next made her stunned. 

"You," he said, "you are the reason."

Roli was perplexed, "what do you mean?"

"It's just my guess that you are directly or indirectly the trigger between Sid and Aryan," Jatin then patiently explained to her everything that had happened from the time Sid returned to India. He even told about Aryan attacking the article writer for writing Sid's wedding news.

After listening to everything, Roli was dumbfounded. "Is it because of me?"

"No, I'm not saying it's because of you, Roli. It's just my guess and I may be wrong. But, whatever Aryan has done till now is somehow related to you. And if that's the case then we can use the same trigger to get him in control," Jatin informed. 

"Can we do that?" at this point, Roli was ready to do anything to stop Sid or his alternate self from hurting people. She couldn't let Sid carry the guilt for long. 

"We can at least try. But, as I said, it's just my guess. To know the exact reason we'll need Sid to undergo diagnosis. If we can make Sid agree to the psychotherapy then we'll see what can be done." Jatin answered.

"Then I will make him agree to it." Roli was determined. After seeing the pain in Sid's eyes and the guilt he felt for harming people, she would do anything to help him come out of it.

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A/N: Hello, people! Thank you so much all of you for your patience with my irregular updates. Also, sorry for the short update. I'm a little caught up with other things so not getting to write much lately. I'll surely try to give a big update next time(not sure when it'll be tho).

Thanks a lot for all the support :)