Chapter 16

alina.b

@alina.b

--- Suman’s POV ---

I was sitting quietly trying to read my book but I kept getting distracted by the giggles behind me. Instead of being angry, I smiled to myself hearing the silly snickering of my son and my best friend. Life had been so peaceful ever since Shravan came to Bhopal. I saw a dramatic improvement in Sagar’s behavior. My relationship with him was getting better and he was slowly accepting me as his mother. Initially, I tried to push Shravan away but like always, he broke down my walls and my heart surrendered in front of him. But, he could sense that I was trying to keep a distance between us. We behaved as friends rather than lovers. Honestly, it felt like our school days again. We spent days reminiscing memories, teasing each other, and playing pranks.

There were days when I wanted to give in and embrace him. I wanted him to be mine forever but then the little voice in my head would say, “You two can never be together. You meet only to be separated. Why are you giving yourself pain?” I was scared. I don’t want to be hurt again. Moreover, can Shravan truly love me with these scars? What if one day, he wakes up and decides he doesn’t want to be with me anymore? I can’t go through the pain of losing him again because my heart just cannot take it anymore. 

Sagar called out to me, “Mom, do you want to play Ludo with us?” At first, I said no but Sagar and Shravan eventually convinced me to play. Shravan spent most of his free time at our house: playing games, tutoring Sagar, and sometimes he would eat dinner with us. Playing board games was becoming our normal routine during the weekend. Sometimes, I felt like we were a little family.

I laughed seeing Shravan pout as he lost again. “Aw, cheer up Shravan. You should be used to losing to me. I would always beat you at Ludo when we were in school”. 

He winked and said, “I’m not upset. I will gladly accept any defeat from you”. I felt a tickle in my stomach. Is he flirting with me? Sagar stubbornly asked to play another round of Ludo but Shravan replied, “You have school tomorrow and we have to go to our jobs”. We waved Shravan good night and headed off to bed. I lay in bed wide awake thinking about Shravan. These days, I don’t even feel like sleeping because reality is more beautiful than any dream.

The next morning while I was training my cadets, I received a phone call from Sagar’s school. They told me to come immediately but didn’t give me a reason. I asked if he was okay and they said it would be best if we talk in person. My heart was racing as a lot of negative thoughts came into my head and I assumed the worst. I didn’t know what to do and immediately called Shravan. I cried, “Shravan, I got a call from Sagar’s school. Something is wrong. I don’t know what to do. I’m so scared”. 

“Hey, calm down. I’m sure he’s fine. Do you want me to come to the school with you?” He also sounded tense but his voice was enough to calm me down. I picked him up from his office and we drove to the school together. I was tightly gripping the steering wheel and he gently rubbed my elbow.

When we got to the school, Sagar was sitting outside the Principal’s office with his head down. I ran to him and tightly clutched him to my chest as I was expecting worse. He looked up and I saw a cut on his cheek. My heart fell seeing him hurt. His Principal walked out and said, “Sagar, please bring your parents into my office”. Shravan and I awkwardly exchanged glances as we were referred to as Sagar’s parents and addressed as a couple but we decided to stay quiet as we had a more important issue on hand. The principal glared at Sagar and said, “Would you like to tell your Mom and Dad what you did?” Sagar continued staring at the ground and gulped. The Principal shook his head and angrily said, “He got into a fist-fight and broke his classmate’s nose. We had to send him to the hospital. Your son acts like a goon”. 

I was shocked and turned Sagar around. I angrily asked, “Why did you punch your classmate?” Sagar stood there silently and I was expecting Shravan to speak up but instead he carefully studied Sagar’s face. 

Sagar whispered, “He...he made fun of...me for being short and I got angry”. The Principal informed us that Sagar was suspended from school for one week. I fisted my hand in anger and quickly walked out of the office as Shravan ran behind me. 

I slammed the hood of the car and hurt my hand. Shravan stepped forward to rub my hand but I stopped him. I turned to Sagar and said, “You said to me that our weakness is our biggest strength then how did you get into a fight because someone made fun of your height?” 

Shravan rubbed my back telling me to calm down but instead I lashed out at him. “Of course, you will take his side! You were suspended from the Army for breaking Anish’s nose. Now, Sagar follows your footsteps and he is suspended from his school for breaking a classmate’s nose”. Shravan held his forehead out of frustration and took a deep breath. 

Sagar giggled, “Coach, you broke Anish Uncle’s nose in the army? I think you need to break his nose again”. 

I was fuming and yelled back, “Do you think this is funny? I expected better from you but I shouldn’t have had any expectations from you in the first place! Just when I thought you were turning into a good kid, you proved me wrong. With this sort of behavior, you won’t get anywhere in life. Your place will not be in the army but rather in jail. Is that what you want?” I felt myself losing control over my anger and raised my hand to slap Sagar. But, Shravan caught my arm. 

Shravan looked at me with big eyes and whispered, “Sumo, stop!” Sagar’s eyes were wide with fear as he hid behind Shravan and tightly clutched his shirt. I turned away covering my face as I was on the verge of tears. Shravan squeezed my shoulder and told me to calm down. I was glad that Shravan had come along with me otherwise this situation would have gotten out of control. I quickly sat in the car and slammed the door. Shravan told me to sit in the passenger seat as he didn’t think it was a good idea for me to drive. 

As we were driving home, it was dead silent in the car but then I heard sniffling from the back seat. Sagar was softly crying. I felt bad but he has to realize his mistakes so he can learn from them. Shravan looked in the rearview mirror and asked, “Does my Buddy want a Happy Meal from McDonald’s? I wonder what toy they will have today”. 

I looked at Shravan with shock and angrily said, “You’re rewarding him for his bad behavior? He will think that his actions are acceptable and that he can get away with anything”. 

Shravan sighed and whispered in a low voice, “Please, let me handle this. Trust me”. I was confused as to what Shravan was trying to achieve. He bought a Happy Meal for Sagar and asked if I wanted a burger also but I refused as I was too angry to eat. Shravan joked around with Sagar until he laughed. 

When we got home, Shravan asked Sagar if he wanted to play Mario Kart. I felt frustrated as Shravan was acting like nothing had happened. I angrily marched up to my bedroom as they went off to play their video game. Around evening, I quietly walked downstairs to get water but stopped in the darkness as I heard Shravan and Sagar talking. Shravan pulled Sagar onto his lap and caressed his hair. “Do you want to tell me the truth now?”

I grew confused. The truth? Sagar sighed, “Those boys were bothering me and I kept ignoring them. I tried really hard to stay quiet but they kept saying mean things. Then one of the boys...he made fun of Mom’s scars and I couldn’t control my anger so I hit him”. Tears rolled down my face as I realized that I misunderstood my son. He continued talking, “I don’t like it when someone says something bad about her. I lied in front of her because I know she doesn’t like her scars and I didn’t want her to feel bad. She’s a little strict but she’s a good person...like you”. Shravan hugged him and said that he didn’t do anything wrong. Sagar looked up at Shravan and asked, “Coach, did you hit Anish Uncle because he also said something really bad about Mom?” Shravan nodded and hugged him again. 

I was overcome by emotions and turned to leave but stopped when I heard Sagar talk again. He asked in an innocent voice, “Can I ask you something? Promise you won’t get mad?”

Shravan pulled his cheek and chuckled, “You can ask me anything. I will never get mad at my little Buddy”. 

Sagar wrapped his arms around Shravan’s neck and asked, “Can I call you Dad? You’re always there for me and you do everything that dads usually do. Even the Principal thought you were my father”.

Shravan’s smile faded and he replied, “Let’s just stick with Coach, okay? Our Coach-Buddy relationship is just as special”. Sagar nodded his head with disappointment. I went up to my room and cried by heart out into my pillow recalling the bitter words I said to Sagar. I was a lucky woman who had two people who cared so deeply about me. 

At night, I went back downstairs to find Shravan and Sagar fast asleep. Sagar was sitting on Shravan’s lap and rested his head on his chest while Shravan had his arms protectively wrapped around Sagar. I smiled to myself as I gently tapped Shravan’s shoulder and he woke up with a jolt. I informed him that it was night. He carefully picked up Sagar in his arms and tucked him into bed. I thought to myself that Sagar deserved to have a father like Shravan. Maybe, if I had married Shravan instead of Anish that would have been the case today. 

Shravan smiled at me, “I should go home now. Good night, Sumo”. I caught his arm and reminded him that he hadn’t eaten dinner yet. It was so late that all restaurants would be closed and Bunty’s family had gone to a wedding so Shravan wouldn’t have food at home. I offered to make him dinner and he replied, “Thanks, I’ll help you too. Let’s make enough for two...you haven’t eaten either”. 

We made Dal-Chawal and sat down to eat. I spoke up, “I overheard your conversation with Sagar. How did you know he was lying?”

Shravan smiled, “He’s more similar to you than you think. You fist your hand when you’re angry and he does that when he lies. You know, Sumo...he’s not a bad kid. Even though he doesn’t say it, he cares a lot about you”. I nodded and we continued eating in silence. There were a lot of thoughts going through my mind and I felt like crying. Shravan spoke up again, “Sumo, one more thing...promise me you’ll never raise your hand on Sagar again. There is something you should know...Anish and Devika used to hurt him every day. He went through a lot. He was really traumatized and that’s why he lashes out sometimes. If you hit him, he’ll be scared of you and...”

I dropped my spoon hearing this and was shocked. The thought of someone hurting Sagar sent chills through me. I quivered and broke down crying. Shravan ran over to me and hugged me tightly. He smoothed my hair as I cried into his chest, “I’m such a bad mother. No wonder he hates me. If I had been there for him...no one would have ever hurt him”. 

He wiped my tears away and said, “You are not a bad mother. Right now, you are trying your best and that's all that matters. Give him love, care, and be patient. You couldn’t see him for five years and even missed your mother’s funeral only because of me. It’s all my fault. I’m going to tell Sagar the truth. I know he’ll hate me but he deserves to know”. 

I saw tears forming in his eyes and gently squeezed his hands. “You know that’s not true, Shravan. He can never hate you. He loves you the most. Besides, don’t blame yourself. I don’t regret taking those three months off in exchange for five years. For you, I would do it again in a heartbeat”. He looked up at me with shock and I gasped realizing what I said. He tucked my hair behind my ear and smiled. As he was leaving, I caught his arm and pulled him into a hug. He embraced me back tightly and we stood there silently in each other’s arms for a long time. I missed his touch. I whispered, “Thank you, Shravan...for everything”.

He sighed, “Don’t insult me by thanking me just like how you stood by me when I needed you, this is the same”. He pulled me closer and whispered, “I missed you so much, Sumo”. I mumbled back the same and clutched his shirt. Suddenly, I felt his heart thumping loudly against my chest and realized how close we were to each other. I quickly pulled back. He smiled and said good night. 

The next morning, I decided that I would take Sagar to the fair because I felt bad for being so harsh on him. He was jumping with joy and informed Shravan of our plans. He invited him to come along with us but Shravan shook his head and said, “We always hang out together. Spend some alone time with your Mom, okay? Besides, there is some work I have to finish”. 

I frowned and sadly asked, “Is your work that important? Please, come with us”. Shravan slowly nodded agreeing to come with us. Sagar was really excited and asked Shravan if we could all go together on his bike. Then, he continued telling me how fun it was to ride on Shravan’s bike. I laughed to myself as Sagar was unaware how many bike rides Shravan and I went on together back in the day. 

Sagar sat at the front of the bike and Shravan held my hand helping me sit. He smirked, “Don’t worry, I don’t drive as fast anymore”. I awkwardly laced my arm around his chest as we rode to the fair. When we got there, we both held Sagar’s hand and kept him in the middle so he wouldn’t get lost. 

Sagar held our hands and started swinging between us. We laughed at him acting silly but my heart broke when he innocently giggled, “I’ve always seen other kids do this and it looked so fun! Now, I can do it too”. I realized that he had a troubled childhood. He yearned for a family who would love him and he saw that with Shravan and me. We went on rides together but I wasn’t too fond of the high roller coasters so I would sit out and watch them go together. 

Then, Sagar saw a stuffed Spider-Man that he really liked but it had to be won by a shooting game. Shravan smirked, “That shouldn’t be too hard for us, right? Major Suman, how about you play against me? Let’s see if your shooting skills are still as good”. I raised my eyebrows and agreed to the challenge. We shot down all the targets but I beat Shravan by one point. He winked, “Not bad, Brigadier Sumo”. A blush crept up my cheeks as he was flirting with me again. Sagar looked confused and asked whether I was a Major or Brigadier. We laughed and explained that Shravan teases me by calling me that since my Grandpa was a Brigadier and I was very strict as a teenager. 

I handed Sagar his toy. He hugged me and said, “Thank you, Mumma!” My eyes teared up hearing him lovingly call me Mumma instead of Mom. He pulled our arms and dragged us to the photo booth. He handed the tickets to the photographer and asked, “Can my family and I take pictures next?” Shravan and I exchanged glances as we noticed that Sagar referred to us as a family. We took a bunch of silly pictures and one good picture. As the photographer handed us the photos she said, “I must say, you are a very cute family”. Shravan and I smiled at the pictures because we really did look cute together. 

Then, Shravan bought us a lot of food. I was surprised to see how freely Sagar would ask for things from Shravan. They truly acted like father and son. I frowned at Shravan and said, “We shouldn’t be eating this kind of food. It’s too sweet or deep fried. It’s so unhealthy”. Shravan laughed and said it was okay for once in a while. Then, Shravan went to buy us ice cream but they only had two left. Sagar happily ate his ice cream and I offered to share my ice cream with Shravan. Initially he said no but then I replied, “It’s really good but I can’t finish it alone”. We both blushed as we each alternatively took a bite of the ice cream. 

Towards the evening, we went on the ferris wheel as we would get to see the city during sunset. Sagar was leaning on the edge pointing at something afar and I smiled seeing how naturally Shravan wrapped his arms around Sagar to prevent him from falling. I snapped out of my thoughts as Shravan turned around and reached out to me. He pulled me close and pointed towards the horizon, “Look over there, you can see the Raja Bhoj Setu Bridge. Doesn’t it look beautiful?” 

I looked lovingly at Shravan and whispered, “Yes...so beautiful...I’ve never seen anyone more amazing”. 

Shravan grew confused and looked at me, “Anyone? You mean anything?” I blushed realizing what I had accidentally said but felt relieved that he hadn’t caught on that I was admiring him and not the bridge. 

It was night and time to go home. We were all happy and Sagar suggested that we should go on more outings together. As we were riding home, Shravan stopped at a traffic light. I saw our reflection on a window. We truly did look like a happy family together. I smiled to myself and rested my head on Shravan’s back. He turned his head slightly towards me and asked, “Are you okay, Sumo?” 

I tightened my hold around his chest and whispered, “I’ve never felt better”.