CHAPTER 44.1 - STATIONS

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CHAPTER 44.1 – STATIONS

NINE DAYS LATER

9th June, 2020

JAIPUR, INDIA

@THE Jaipur Polo Club

2:30PM

Kudrat walks out of the stables at the Jaipur Polo Club deep in thought. She had just finished playing a very good practice match with her team – mates from the Sydney Polo Club against the Jaipur Polo Club players. It had been an exciting game of Polo with the Jaipur team winning with just one more goal up on the board which they ended up scoring in the last penultimate minutes of the match.

But the reason for her being deep in thought at the moment wasn't the fact that her team had lost a match. In fact – it had everything to do with the fact that one of the players from the opposite team had sneaked his way through the lanes of her thoughts from the very first go - refusing to leave her mind ever since.

Hridhaan Singh Rajput.

She had met him at the Gurgaon Polo Club – nine days ago and as surprised as she was by the development, she could not deny the fact that two of them had actually hit it off really well from the very first go! The second meet with him the very next day at the Polo Club in Gurgaon had been even more comforting and warm as they spent quite a while just talking and catching up on the general stuff from each other's lives across the sea's – a talk - which had led them to exchange numbers after for Hridhaan was scheduled to leave back for Jaipur then. They had also been in touch for the last eight days on and off on text too.

And ever since she had reached Jaipur – along with her team – day before yesterday and had been catching up with him for the first half of the day's at the Polo Club – she couldn't deny the fact yet again - that his warm and charming smile accompanied by his gentle and sincere gaze was starting to grow on her in the ways she had no explanation for at all.

He Intrigued her.

He really Did.

There was something about him for sure – given the way he had been able to Invade her thoughts in the way he had.

And that was why she was lost deep in thought too. Because now that she had been in India for the last ten days over and had surfed the online world enough – she had caught the huff of the online gossip about Hridhaan and Khushi(the Little Hit Girl - who was an Indian Women's Cricket Player) – in fact she'd looked it all up last night over Google extensively and had seen the numerous speculations, articles, pictures, etc and caught up on it all. She also remembered hearing about the Little Hit Girl's injury from her family and friends who were an ardent fan of cricket too, both men and women's team off both India and Austraila – after she had returned from the short visit from Brisbane during that period off time.

Hmmmmm.

Well – the grapevine suggested that he was probably going to tie the knot with Khushi soon and the confusing thing here for her was that she was somewhat getting this Vibe off Hridhaan that he was interested in spending time with her and getting to know her more as a person too – the probable reason why he asked their entire team out for dinner tonight – along with the rest of his team?

But that's what.

Why would he show interest in getting to know her more as a person if he was already committed to someone else??????

Kudrat fights her sigh and decides to wander around for a little walk around the back lawns of the Club instead of heading back to join everyone in the lounge for lunch directly.

She was a little exhausted and hungry – for sure.But she needed some time to just think things through – before she let Hridhaan's charming smile cloud her mind again.

For these 26 years of her life, she had always lived in Sydney, as she had been born and brought up there and all of her family and relatives had been living in Australia since the 1970's too – so this was kind off her first visit to India because no one from the family ended up visiting back here for everyone was just in Australia. The fact that she had always wanted to visit the country she was rooted from was just one of the reasons she had wanted to get onboard with this international exposure with Domestic Polo clubs in India – game wise.

The second major reason had quite a part to play – too.

The part being – where in she had actually wanted some break from the hounding eyes of her family and friends who had been going on a match- making spree fixing her up on various blind dates in the quest to get her to move on in terms of her Love Life.

They wanted her to Move On.

Move on from Jack.

Jack Williams.

She closes her eyes as she pauses to lean against the pillar around the corner as the memories of her first love return to overwhelm her heart.The Love – that had been fated to be snatched from her way too soon.

Jack was an air-force pilot in the Royal Australian Air Force and an excellent one at that. And after being together for over two years plus from the beginning of 2015– they had decided to tie the knot by the end of 2017. But alas – Fate had different plans in store for them for just four weeks before their wedding – his fighter jet crashed due to some technical failure mid-air during a routine drill - South West of Brisbane – killing him and his mate in the cockpit on impact instantly - on that fateful day of November 24th in the summer of 2017.

It had been over Two and a Half years to his Passing and her heart was still in the process of Healing. Her family had let her grieve his passing and take her time in coming terms to with the emotionally aching loss supporting her through as she immersed herself in her games and educational degrees for the next two years after the personal tragedy struck her.

But since the last six months – everyone had been nudging her to take the step forward on the pretext that Life really was a long journey ahead and she couldn't really think off being alone forever at just the age of 26.They would constantly remind her that Jack always wanted her to be happy and he would have wanted this off her - to embrace fate and life, and move on and remember him with a smile on her face.Since he was in the armed forces – he'd often say this to her in tender moments of their time together in the past that if anything ever happened to him – she'd move on – come what may. He'd made her promise the same too.

And this was the very reason she had given in to everyone's nudges in the first place – six months ago. But her heart wasn't cooperating much for it had failed to take interest in any of those men she had been set up with on blind dates by her friends and family – which was why she just thought that probably giving the whole scene a break for a bit would just be better for her.

Maybe she wasn't ready Yet.

Maybe her heart wasn't ready to Let Go.

Or So she thought.

Until.

He Came Along.

Until.

Hridhaan walked into the Stable's that day.

How was he able to invade her thoughts this way? – She didn't know.

Why Him?Why Now? In a Random moment across of her Life in another continent? She wished she had an answer to that.

It was Strange – Indeed.

But True – Nonetheless.

But now with all the stuff she had read about him and Khushi – she was greatly confused as to what she should do next because she wanted to safeguard herself and her heart -of course.

That was Priority.

It was still vulnerable from all the Ache from Losing Jack for that emotional scar would always remain even though she was on her route to Healing.

She takes a deep breathe as she continues to toy with the locket Jack had gifted her long ago and she thinks to herself – Maybe I should just avoid him for a bit or rather just ask him about the context anyway with regards to Khushi?But would it seem too forward??Maybe yes...Maybe Not??

She sighs again – toying with her locket.

And just like that – a lone tear falls off her eye as the aching vulnerable memories from the day of Jack's passing come by to haunt her.

Another couple of tears fall off which she wipes with her hand.It is right then she hears Hridhaan's familiar soft voice – " I didn't want to invade in your private moment Kudrat but here...take this..please??"

Kudrat opens her eyes instantly and she is surprised to find Hridhaan standing right in front of her with a sincere concerned look up his face and his hand held to her – holding a handkerchief.

She nods at him and gives him a small smile and takes the handkerchief and wipes the tears off and answers softly – " thank you...."

Damm.

Maybe – Avoiding Him – wasn't possible given the fact that fate had him walk in on her in the middle off her Vulnerable Moment! The look on his face told her that he was going to ask her about the same.

Would she tell him about it all?

About Jack?

Probably Yes.

She Would.

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Hridhaan walks up from his spot to stand next to Kudrat with his back leaning against the wall too and he steals a looks at her from the side – unable to figure out why she had such a solemn look on her face accompanied by those tears.

In fact, he had been surprised to not find her by the end of the stable after tucking his horse in. He had asked her to wait there for him after she had tucked her horse back in so that they could head into lunch together at the lounge and when he didn't spot her around after he was done – he came around looking for her and was beyond just surprised to find her standing in this far corner of the club's lawns in the prickly heat all by herself – gazing into nowhere- all lost in her thoughts.

He didn't know what was Up? She had been all cheerful at the end of the match while they were walking the horses back into the stable while discussing the competitive game they had just played.

He asks softly continuing to look at her from the side, surprised that she wasn't looking at him yet and was just gazing forward – " you okay??"

Kudrat nods as she continues to toy with her locket.

Hridhaan says softly – "call me perceptive...but you don't look okay..Kudrat...,"and as he spots her clutching the locket in her hands tight he asks sincerely – " wana talk about it?also.. looks like that locket is precious??"

Kudrat nods again gently – not looking at him still but she answers gazing on towards the field upfront – " it surely is...it's a precious gift...."

Intrigued, he asks further – " really??"

Kudrat nods as she says – " yup.."

And before he could ask the bit – who was the gift from – he sees her unlock the locket from her neck and engulf it in her hands longingly and he is surprised to see her open the heart shaped pendent to reveal the picture of herself and a man hugging her from behind and she whispers softly – " Jack...Jack Willaims.That was his name...my fiancé...he passed...on the 24th November, 2017...I was just thinking about him...and then there was an onslaught off those memories from the day of his passing..which is why you spotted me crying.."

That shakes Hridhaan momentarily. He hadn't expected to hear the aching vulnerable truth that he just did.

He whispers softly – his heart going out to her – to the angst that had consumed Kudrat's frame – " I am sorry..Kudrat...for your loss...so so sorry...I don't know what to say.."

Kudrat hands back his handkerchief to him as she says giving him a soft smile – " here...thanks...but I am okay now...was just overwhelmed for a bit..."

Hridhaan shoves it back in his pockets and he asks softly –" if you don't mind me asking...what happened??"

Kudrat sighs as she answers turning to gaze forward again as she answers with a sad smile – " He was a fighter pilot for the Royal Australian Air Forces..and an excellent one at that..god he was brilliant...the best in his class.."

Hridhaan gives her a gentle smile – " I am sure..I have great respect for everyone in the armed forces...no matter which country...soilders are soilders...real life heroes indeed..guarding our respective nations.."

Kudrat nods and as Hridhaan gestures her to go on she does so with another sad smile – " we met in January 2015 through a common friend and after 18 months of dating we decided to tie the knot on the Xmas of 2017 ..we were going to get married..everything was set...my family loved him even though it was cross-cultural..his family loved me too...but...as fate would have it... four weeks prior that is on the 24th November, 2017...his fighter jet crashed near Brisbane on a routine drill due to technical failure mid air..he didn't make it..nor did his colleague who was with him in the cockpit...the impact of the crash was so gruesome it killed them both on impact instantly...they probably just had seconds of headsup knowing they were going to crash...I mean they train extensively for it all don't they..."

Hridhaan nods solemnly.

Kudrat sighs – " I mean..I most surely know that Jack had trained a zillion times for emergency ejections like these out of a dying /crashing/burning aircraft..but on that day...it wasn't meant to be...I guess...for in that moment off time as an when it happened..they couldn't even eject out the plane in time...there was no time...it was too sudden.."

Hridhaan says sincerely reading her frame and body language – " it must have been such a shock right? God..kudrat...I can't even comprehend the grief you must have been through..."

Kudrat nods – " it surely was a shock initially..took me weeks to even come to terms with it that he was gone....just like that..I spoke to him though..before he got on for the drill that day...I thank god that I had picked up his phone just in time that day...atleast...we talked and I heard him for that last one time..before..," and she pauses momentarily as emotions return to choke her voicebox for a bit.

Hridhaan holds her hand, clutching it in support momentarily wanting to comfort her but he didn't know if words could do justice so he went with the comforting gesture of the hand. Thankfully she does not pull her hand away and clutches his hand back as she sighs and adds taking a deep breathe – " to be honest....I am doing better now though...I mean grieving for a loved one is a process right...a process that we must allow to take its natural course..you can say..that..that's what I am in the middle off actually... as in I have been in the middle off that process ever since..."

Hridhaan nods at her in an understanding – " I understand..."

Kudrat nods as she looks at him sideways locking her gaze with his – " anyways...there is something else that I wanted to say too...to you.."

Hridhaan nods – " Yes please Kudrat..go on... what is it??"

Kudrat says – "I am sorry for her injury..How is she doing now??"

Hridhaan asks puzzled – " huh?? What do you mean??"

Kudrat answers softly, taking the moment to question him about what was on her mind subtly – " your fiancé...the little hit girl who plays cricket for India Women..Khushi......the tabloids say that you guys are going to get married soon maybe...she was injured quite a bit at SCG right in January...I wanted to wish her a speedy recovery..."

Hridhaan shrugs and rolls his eyes sighing as he says sincerely – "that's what the tabloids say...hmmm..which means that you'v caught up on the online grapevine...,"and he continues after a little pause – " well..she is doing much better now...on her road to a speedy recovery surely...thanks for the wishes Kudrat...I will pass it on to her...but I do need to make a correction in there.."

Kudrat asks puzzled – " what correction??"

Hridhaan answers sincerely locking his gaze with her's – " you called her my fiancé..and that bit of it isn't true at all...we are family friends for sure..and really great friends otherwise too...but that's about it..that's exactly what the equation has been and always will be...and that is the truth..."

Kudrat asks intrigued gaping at him puzzled – " Wait?? What?? really????because in some of the old pictures from an article dated back to last year that I spotted...you were looking at her as if...,"and she pauses not knowing how to put this across without embarrassing him.

Hridhaan nods and sighs getting the hunch she was implying towards and he answers honestly – " Kudrat.. I know what you mean...look...it's a little bit of a cliché scenario to be in..but it was what it was right??so..yeah...I was in love with her...quite deeply too...yes...that bit of it is true..but...,"and he pauses as the angst of the past returns to haunt him momentarily.

The angst in his frame does not miss Kudrat's eye and she asks softly, her gut telling her that there surely was more than what meets the eye in here – " but what???"

Hridhaan sighs as he admits – " but....she has always been in love with somebody else...and is very happy with him...I know them both very well actually and I share a great bond with per partner too now..and I am really happy for them..truly..infact seeing them so happy has really helped put a lot of things in perspective for me indeed.......and Iv just given myself the time to just heal within my emotions and then move on...you know only then is it going to be like healthy... emotionally...I would never want to succumb to a situation of a rebound..wouldn't be fair to the other person...right??so yeah...now you know what it is...but yes if I were to give an honest peek-a-bo into my personal past on these matters it really is true that I was in love with someone to whom I was and always will be...only just a dear friend..."

Kudrat nods in an understanding suddenly feeling the jittery fears and nerves easing because the sincere look in his eyes told her that he was telling her the truth – "I know...I know exactly what you mean with regards to the rebound bit..I mean..I'd hate to do that to anyone too..that's why..I'v just been taking my time on this..even though my family and friends have been playing the matchmaker fixing me up on numerous blind dates in Sydney for the last six months..part of the reason why I fled here..I reckoned I just needed to pause to just reconsider the fact if I were ready within..."

Hridhaan asks with a little smile – " really? no interesting blind date tales to talk about??"

Kudrat smiles – " nah..none at all...I wasn't interested to talk to anyone beyond an hour...,"and she pauses as she fights another sad sigh admitting sincerely – " but to be honest..as aching as it was to lose the one I love to death...I don't think I'd like to go back in time to change my feelings about him though...you know how they say...that it's..."

And the words stay put in her mouth as Hridhaan nods in an instant understanding filling in the rest of her sentence for her – " that it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.."

Kudrat nods giving him a soft smile – " exactly...I reckon you feel the same...given the way you completed the sentence for me..."

Hridhaan nods giving her a soft smile too – their eyes locking momentarily in an intense moment and Kudrat says sincerely – " I am stumped by the way you mentioned you want nothing but true happiness for her you know...and that you truly are very happy for her and her partner...that's amazing of you..you know that don't you??"

Hridhaan smiles sincerely – "thank you Kudrat..but well I wouldn't say amazing...maybe it was just my honest feelings..as in if you'v loved someone truly with no malice backing it..I think...that's surely an underlying wish isn't it??you'd want the one you love/have loved to be truly happy...."

Kudrat nods in an instant understanding.

Hridhaan says further wanting to comfort her more – "and I am sure..that Jack...would be wishing the same for you...from the heavens above Kudrat...,"and he touches the picture in the locket in her hands and he adds – " I mean just one look at this picture of the two of you..tells me that he loved you...madly perhaps??I am sure he would be wanting nothing but happiness for you too...like I am sure he is watching over you...from up there..."

Kudrat smiles almost sadly clutching the locket in her hands – " well since he was in the forces..he would often say the same to me you know...,"and she pauses and adds warmly – " thank you Hridhaan.."

Hridhaan asks puzzled – " for what??,"and he pauses and winks mischievously wanting to make her smile a little more – " for the handkerchief earlier you mean??"

That makes Kudrat chuckle a little and they share a warm laugh and Kudrat puts the locket back on her as she answers softly – " yeah...for that...,"and she asks further – " anyway..you tell me..as in....I know...it takes a lot of courage to deal with unrequited feelings this way..but it must have been hard right initially?? to cope up nonetheless?you doing okay now?? wana talk about it??"

Hridhaan nods as he says with a smile – " well yes...it was hard initially..but no regrets...and I surely wana talk about it...but can we do so over lunch?? I am sure you are starving too..."

Kudrat nods at him as she says biting back a natural smile – " well yes...I am hungry for sure...,"and they begin their walk inwards and Hridhaan pauses in his tracks momentarily after two minutes and he asks going with what his gut had nudged him to ask – " Kudrat...later tonight..after dinner with everyone from our teams..would you like to hang out with me?? I mean just me..we could go on a little drive...just you and me...I'd love to show you my city..through my eyes...."

Kudrat smiles at him as she answers – " yeah...I'd like that..."

Hridhaan nods at her grinning and they both share another meaningful eyelock before they resume their walk towards the lounge for lunch with everyone.

Maybe – it really was Time – for both of them to go with the flow off the moments fate was sending their way and board the train of emotions that would take them to the Station of New Beginnings.

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Same Day – 9th June

At@NCA (National Cricket Academy) – Sports Rehab Wing – Bangalore

11:00 PM

Khushi's Alloted Room@ The NCA

Khushi's POV

I grin to myself as I read Arnav's text.

Him : Five – seven more minutes Sparkle. And then let's get on that video call. I'v missed seeing you all day for even though I was free because of the break we had today you were totally busy amidst the travels and the rest of the stuff after. Can't wait my love.

Me : Copy that My Love. Can't wait too.Don't you worry about it thike? In the meanwhile I will just have a quick chat up with Jess if only she isn't occupied on the phone with Vikram..hehe..winks

Him : Ok then..see you in a bit Sparkle.

Me : see you Arnav..(hearts)

I call up Jess.

Nope.

Her phones busy which means that she's on the call with Vikram obviously. Ok – and I am most surely not going to disturb the love-birds.She anyway already knows that everything is fine with me and am all settled and stuff. We'v caught up on a video call prior – already!

So while I am waiting for Arnav - I plug back my phone into the charging point as I sit on my bed all relaxed and changed and freshened up for a good night's sleep.

Ok wait.

Now that I have a little while as in a couple of minutes – I might as well use that bit to give you all a brief head's up of what's been Up ya!

Sooooo Yesssssssss!!

Guys.

Finally.

I am here at the NCA in Bangalore all by myself now all set to take on the second phase of my journey to recovery and play as in my physio and rehabilitation bit – for the next 60 odd days.

And my first day of physio actually starts – tomorrow morning at 9 am.

So.

We arrived here this afternoon at 2pm actually. As in Mom, Dad, Superbro and Anj obviously came to check me in here but as I had requested them prior already – they already had scheduled their flight back to Delhi for the same day as in later this evening. They just landed back in Delhi at 10:00PM and have reached back home a while back. I was on call with them all for a bit as they reached home obviously and after that I had a little chat up with Reva Mom and Abhi Dad too and even everyone else in our close friends group reassuring them all that I was all settled in and set.

Also yes - Jess and Sheena Di, Happy Di, and a couple more of my team- mates plus Noor, Samaira, Sachi Maam, Payal, also did come by to meet me and spend some good time with me in the couple of days before I left for Bangalore – obviously. And once we were here and I had settled in – into the room allotted for me – I had a counselling session discussing the physio plan they had chalked out for me with the physio's and doctors on my case as well.

And after Mom, Dad, Superbro, Anj left - I just spent some time catching up with Dr.Yasmine (Samaria's cousin) who is also one of the resident physio's in the Sports Rehabilitaion wing at the NCA(she is also a physio on my case) and had an early dinner with her at the common cafeteria, after which I retied to my room and caught up with some calls with everyone back at home, Jess and Shivi. After that- I caught up on some extra reading with regards to all the extra research I had done for my courses(which I have already finished) but the reading list continues to interest me and then I also caught up on watching some Cricket – of course.

So yeah - at the moment – as you all would have already guessed - I am just waiting for Arnav – my love to get back to his room at the Hotel after his dinner and chill out time with everyone back in Chennai because the Third Test with Bangladesh is also scheduled to be played at the Chepauk Stadium in Chennai starting three more days from now.

The Second Test finished yesterday and once again – our Men in Blue/White's at the moment comfortably clinched another massive win which kind of means that they have already won the 3 Match Test Series any which ways.

Like Yippppeeeeeeeeeee to That.

And as much as I'd like to jump in Hurray to that yet again – I know that I can't do that just yet.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.

So.

Another thing I do want to say.

To be honest guys – I am a little nervous thike? As in now that I have just resumed by normal activities in the last nine days I can totally feel how my body muscles have just gone into a different zone altogether which is like poles apart from it's usual athletic zone given the many months of bed rest. I also have noticed that I am getting tired after just after a mere 2-3K steps of a casual paced walk feeling the need to just pause and catch up and sit for a bit.

Well – it isn't really News or something that I wasn't expecting to be honest – but nonetheless – the discovery that my athletic stamina has kind off gone for like a full toss or rather has been clean bowled/stumped to the edge of space – has kind off led me to feel all this nervousness within for the path from here now – to get my body back into the physical athletic shape that it was prior to my injury is surely an Uphill Gigantic Slope.

Hmmmmm.

But I am determined to make this Climb – nonetheless.

I have to give it my bestest shot – come what may.

Also the fact that I am actually taking this on all by myself in a new environment away from home and everyone is kind off going to instill a lot of self-belief/confidence/individual growth within me to just feel like I am able to fight for myself and prepare for a comeback – in a space – which isn't my comfort zone.

Dear Mind and Heart chip in all reassuringly. Oh don't you be nervous at all K. We know you got this. You can do this.You most surely will. And this time – K – just the fact that you are here on this train all by yourself is going to help us become a lot more fearless within in the process of fighting our very own inner shackle's isn't it??

I close my eyes as I brush my hands over my face. Well yes Dear Insides you are totally right about that. The nervousness is natural I guess – given the Herculean task I see-upfront of me na?

Dear Mind smiles. Ofcourse- K .Only Natural. Indeed. Come – on you are only human after all.

Dear Heart chips in grinning. Yup, only human indeed. Even though – I'd like to believe that you are a superwoman within. Come on – K. Let's do this? Alright? lets get you back to the physical state – where in you can actually think off flying up high and tide within a fraction of a second to take a high – diving catch without even thinking about it for a second like you did at the SCG.You will get there – K.It's only a matter of time.

Oops.

Dear Heart.

You shouldn't have mentioned that for now that you did - I feel the nervous jitters return backed by a thought.

Will I really be able to jump up that High and Tide to take a catch out in the Field ever again? Like will my body – cooperate? Or will my muscles succumb into momentarily freeze and fear remembering the Injury and the consequences that followed?

Godammit.

Dear Mind sighs. Oh No. Sorry about that thought – K ..but dear heart just got me thinking the same.

Dear Heart sighs as it gapes at us. Don't you two freaking dare give in to self doubt – alright? Not at the moment – please? Know what K? switch on your tablet and watch some video's of yourself playing?? Alright?? Do that now and you will know exactly what I mean when I say that I know you will get there. I know the body muscles are weak at the moment and they will need a lot of work but once they are restored and strengthened – you see I am confident that they will get back to channelising their muscle memory from years of practice prior - in no freaking time.

I fight back a sigh.

I hope so.

I really Freaking – Hope So!

Dear Mind – K just do what the heart wants. It's the Supreme Court remember? In the meanwhile – I will focus on shunning the momentary self-doubt out.

Hmmm.

I do – what my Heart has asked off me obviously.

I switch on my tablet and go up online to watch the Highlights of the last game I had played at the SCG, Australia during the Tri Nation Series Semi Final as in the first innings where in I was batting and scored – 101 – not out.

And as I am taking the sight of myself playing on screen, I feel dear eyes well up with numerous emotions on its own accord. And as the highlights go towards the moment of my Injury – I pause on it on reflex and shove my tablet aside and bury my hands in my face.

My body flights a Flinch on its own accord.

I really want to get back to the Version of Myself before this Injury guys and just watching the pre- version of myself on screen has reinstalled the thought in me that the Task up-ahead is really a monumental one indeed.

It's like I need to condition my body from freaking scratch – all over again.

I know I will give it my all but I also know that it is not going to be Easy.

Its going to be a Battle within.

Every single day from here On.

I am distracted in my chain of thoughts as my phone buzzes instantly.

It's Arnav on the video call – ofcourse. He must have gotten back to the room.

Well I don't want him to see my eyes welled up. He will worry and fret. I'll just wash my face for a bit and then call him back.

I cut the call and I get his text immediately.

Him : Sparkle??? did you just cut the call?

Me : yes love...in the washroom na baba freshing up...give me two minutes..

Him : okay..I am in the room now darling...call me..the minute..you are out...

Me : okies...(hearts)

I walk to the washroom slowly and just splash my face and dear eyes with volumes of water and once I see my reflection in the mirror tell me that my eyes are restored back to normal – I quickly dry my face with the face towel and then make my way out.

And as I settle back into my bed and sit up – I take deep breathes and compose myself and I video - call Arnav.

He picks up instantly – ofcourse.

And the minute I see his smiling face fill up my phone screen – I feel all my jittery nerves relax a little on it's own accord as he says – " hey...you ..Sparkle...finally....I mean given that you took these two minutes to pick up my call..I had to resort to seeing the pictures of you from the spottings at the airports up online from earlier today..."

I chuckle a little at that obviously on reflex – " really? is that what you were seeing??"

Arnav nods and winks – " ofcourse Sparkle...I mean the buzz online is quite killer still you know...infact I was also reading up that article posted up by the Hindu times sport reporter Nikhil – which titles- The Little hit girl was seen flying to Bangalore Finally and the first paragraph after that includes the details off the same elaborating on the bit that you have finally checked into the NCA for your physio and rehabilitation....you did see this one up didn't you??"

I smile – " well yes love...I did...Superbro and Anj showed it to me obviously ya just before leaving..."

Arnav locks his gaze with mine as his smile lessens a little – "what's up Sparkle??"

I wink at him as I say – "the roof obviously.."

He rolls his eyes at me narrowing them to read my expressions – " very funny...Sparkle..that was a lame joke.."

I chuckle – " really??,"and I pause and I add – " I know I know..it really was a lame one thike...well you already know what's up ya...let me talk to you about the other bit that I wanted to....remember I texted you after I spoke to Shivi that..I have to tell you something..."

He narrows his eyes at me as if he were reading me through like an open book – " no wait..do not smartly evade from the topic alright Sparkle...we will talk about that later..first you tell me ..why is it that your eyes tell me that you'v been crying a tad bit little and have been trying to cover it up with a little wash over the eyes..."

I gape at him as I sigh – " haa...I should have known ya..that the cover up won't work on you ya love..."

Arnav sighs – " you know very well Sparkle...that it can work up on anyone else but not on me alright...so please come on..out with it now...or else you want me to fly down to the NCA now? I mean.. we are both in the South of India and Chennai isn't very far from Bangalore..."

I gape at him as I shake my head – " no no no...ya...love..what are you saying..please..remember you promised that you would let me take this on alone..."

Arnav nods – " yup...and do you remember the bit where in I reminded you before you boarded the plane this morning for Bangalore that you will not hide your Inner struggles from me?? I want you to talk to me about your struggles..darling...now..and...always...it's only natural for you to feel them..."

I sigh as I admit wiping a sudden bittersweet tear out of my eye – " oh ya...love..now if your tone will be full of so much love...I won't be able to help it thike...I don't want to shed tears on my first day here...I mean won't you think that I came here with so much ambition to take this on by myself and here I am feeling vulnerable on the very first night..."

Arnav gives me a heartfelt smile – "and you know very well that – that is not what I am going to think Sparkle....I am instead going to be wondering what thought is it that triggered this vulnerability in the first place...for I know it's been insanely important for you to take this on by yourself..right??"

I nod at him and sigh as I admit leaning back against the headboard – " so...I watched myself play up online...and all of a sudden I just felt like..I don't know...if...if...I will be able get back to that version of myself ever again...I mean...my muscles need so much conditioning na..love...and..I...I...,"and I pause because I know I don't need to say the rest to him for he understands my unsaid now surely. He knows the vulnerability of the state my body is in – physically.

Arnav nods in an instant understanding as he asks – " you saw the last game didn't you ? the one at the SCG?Sparkle? 101 not out and you probably re-lived the moment of yourself getting injured too..right Sparkle??"

I nod at him – silently.

He sighs and then gives me a loving smile – " really love? you chose the wrong video to check out first..I mean..look..listen to me...Sparkle....open that tablet and go back to the video up online of you hitting the six- sixes up in the Kia Super League last year will you please???"

I wipe an overwhelmed tear – " oh please ya love.."

Arnav insists – " no...oh please ya love Sparkle..come on...open the tablet and go to that freaking video..I am going to watch it too alright? right here with you...as well on my tablet.."

I nod at him and we get to doing just that.

And as I am watching that moment of me hitting six -sixes back to back from that moment in time last year – I feel a gush off overwhelmed emotions consume me yet again and once we were done seeing it – Arnav grins and looks at me as he says – " godaammit...I love this video of you Sparkle..it's killer...indeed..."

I lock my eyes with his as I admit softly – " for a second Arnav...I couldn't believe that it was me on screen..I mean I know it's me..but what I mean to say is...now that I look back from the state I am in...I am confused..as in what if I'v just lost that version off my physical atheletic self over all this time...,"and I just brush my hair through my hair as I fight back another sigh looking sideways.

Arnav's soft and gentle assertive voice falls into my ears – " look at me Sparkle..please...do not look here and there please at the moment...please??"

I look up at him.

I shouldn't have.

For his warm and loving gaze boring into mine makes me feel a lot more comfortable yet emotional at the same time.

A trail of bittersweet tears leaves my eyes yet again and I say softly – " I know...I know..this is me being silly perhaps..but..,"and the words stay put in my mouth as Arnav interrupts me as he says – "no...godammit...Sparkle...this is not you being silly at all...this is you..being human meri jaan..."

I ask softly – " kar paungi na mein??"( I will be able to do this right Arnav?)

Arnav nods and gives me a reassuring smile – " ofcourse meri jaan...I have no doubts at all..and if dear mind is going into any zone of a self doubt then just remind it to deal with me alright?? wait...lets not talk about the mind at the moment..you tell me...what does dear heart say at the moment? Come on tell me??"

I give him a soft smile through my overwhelmed emotions as I admit – " well the cardio cells of my being will obviously side with Their Majesty..now wouldn't it??"

Arnav winks at me lovingly – " bingo...I knew it...I love the sound of that Sparkle.."

I admit honestly – " well I was having an inner one on one before your call came ya love...and...,"and as he gestures me to go on I quickly fill him up on all of that and five minutes later once I was done I say – "yup...so now you know why I took those two minutes to call you back ya...I mean..silly of me..should have known..that you'll catch it anyway.."

Arnav smiles warmly as he says – " love...listen to me alright?? you'v come so far on this journey alright? and you'v fared brilliantly meri jaan...I mean I have never seen anyone use a period of months of bed rest so constructively as you have....look at all that studying you did..all those courses you completed...I mean technically even though you are younger to me..you are in the middle of having more certificates and degrees than the graduation degree I possess....so please...do yourself this massive favour and get dear mind to refocus itself on the aim up ahead...instead of succumbing into self- doubt...I mean if you doubt yourself now...it's like you'd be dealing a very unfair hand yourself to your very own spirit off grit and determination within..please just...don't do that to yourself alright?? you can do this...and you will do this...we are all so sure...and I know you know it in your heart too...please...just please...do not let fear come in to play its games....."

Well now that he put it that way – it hits within – yet again.

I smile a little as I touch my phone screen lovingly – " you always what to say na love...,"and I sit up channelising my determination – " you know what?? ill give it my best shot...for sure..I won't let fear take over..as in I know its naturally for it to come in with its bits here and there but what I mean to say is..I wont let it overwhelm me completely..because I know that will stagnate my progress even before I have begun..."

Arnav grins – " exactly...that's like my Sparkle...you know very well my love that half the battle takes place within the mind right? with the intent??"

I nod at him as I say – " I just got the hold the horses of Dear Mind in place in order to stop it from straying here and there...haina??"

Arnav grins – " exactly...you know exactly what to do...and don't you worry at all Sparkle..the minute you feel astrayed a little...main hoon na tumhare saath..hum sab haina( I am there na Sparkle..we are all there...)..we will help you find your way back to the right track..."

I smile at him lovingly – " I know that...my love...I know that..,"and I add grinning next feeling a lot better within – " acha listen na love...now that...I just said the words..hold the horses..I am instantly reminded off what I need to tell you..."

Arnav nods and winks – " well that smile speaks a thousand words reassuring me that you do feel a lot better within..so come on then..tell me ..what is it ..."

I grin – "well horses remind me of Polo obviously which remind me of Hridhaan and Kudrat obviously...so yeah...guess what Shivi told me that Hridhaan is out for dinner with his entire team and Kudrat's team too in Jaipur as of now and he has also asked her to spend some time with just him later..and she agreed..which kind of cements my belief that there surely is a huge hope in there for them...I mean...this bit of news rocks doesn't it???????????"

Arnav nods grinning – " oh yes it does Sparkle..it surely does..."

I admit now my gaze locking with his – " hmmm..so...on that note...I was just worried as in what if Kudrat catches hold on the stuff up on the online gossip and speculations about me and Hridhaan and what if that causes some sort of a dent in her mind about Hridhaan...so maybe I was thinking...if that topic ever came up in between of them..I want to ask Hridhaan to most surely connect me with her in case she needs some reassurance about the same..right? as in I can tell her..that Hridhaan and me have always been just friends haina? Its just these online speculations have been on and on for a while..but it will all stop soon because I am all set to make my relationship with the one I love madly public soon...as in I do not want any misunderstandings in Hridhaans life because of me anymore ya love...he's been through enough emotionally because of me..and if I can help ease things out for him..I surely want to...what do you think off the same love??"

Arnav chuckles fondly – " well I was momentarily distracted by that adorable concerned look up your face Sparkle ..leading me to fall madly in love with you again...but yup...I agree with you..for sure...I think we both do owe Hridhaan that for he's been so courteous and understanding always...we must ease things for him if we can..so incase the need arises...we must do exactly that..."

I grin – " glad we are on the same page with regards to this ya love..."

Arnav chuckles – " there's an exclusive peace and charm about being on the same page as you most of the time Sparkle...for sure..."

I admit lovingly – " there surely is...Skipper Blue..,"and I pause and I add sincerly – " god...but I am so glad for Hridhaan ya..Arnav..I mean the more I think off it...it's like the fact that he is heading on and towards the Station of new beginnings just makes me like just so so so happy...."

Arnav nods in an instant understanding and he adds lovingly – " I know...,"and he pauses and adds grinning further – " you are headed towards the Station of a New Beginning too Sparkle...you know that don't you?and trust me when I say this to you..this bit isn't going to be about you realising how lost you were...its going to be all about - finding yourself and your way out off this maze nonetheless....you are going to find your way out Sparkle...trust me...it's only a matter of time....just some more time...just be patient with both your emotional and physical self...alright?? "

I nod at him sincerely – " yes love..I know...I will do just that...,"and I pause as I send him a flying kiss as I admit – " Arnav...love...please know...that I can board any random trains of moments in my Life taking me to any station whatsoever..but I know I will be okay on any journey nonetheless only because in my heart I know you are always going to be there for me....come what may.."

Arnav's eyes swim with overwhelmed emotions as he whispers – " godaamit...6th of August..be here already..."

I chuckle to that as I say – " it will be here soon Skipper Blue...only a matter of time...until then you gotta board the Train of Ongoing Cricketing duties and head to the Stations of your Skipper Duties and I shall board the train and head to the Station of my recovery...right here..."

Arnav nods at me lovingly and as we continue talking and catching up with our eyes locked lovingly and emotionally ; I realise yet again that sometimes Life is just about this simple bit – isn't it? That sometimes – in each of our individuals journeys our Lives may require us to board different routes and moments in real time indeed, requiring one to take things on differently from the one you love deeply. And yet – as long as you had faith in the core Station of Love and trust in the platforms of your Heart – no journey could ever be far apart !

Hmm.

Maybe – It's just Love, Trust and Faith – Back Inward at your very own self too that is just the Key to it all too? One's surely gotta commit to the deep love and trust within towards one's self too – perhaps? No matter what the Circumstance?

Dear Heart smiles. Yup – K – You are right about that for sure – which is why it really is Time to Just anchor into the Station of Faith&Love and just Focus on the Aim Upfront ahead of us no matter how monumental it is and tackle things head on – one step at a Time.

And as my gaze continues to stay locked with Arnav's and I am hearing him fill him up on his side of things since dinner and catch up time with the team and support staff after – I feel the Vibe of Pure Love in between of Us just work it's magic on me yet again.

Yup.

I was Ready.

Even though I was overwhelmed a tad bit little and nervous too about the challenging 60 odd days up ahead in front off me – I was ready to give it my all nonetheless.

I was ready to – Get Set Go – with my journey towards That Station of Complete Recovery.

Indeed.

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.......................

TADAAAA.

Next Update : Friday Night Mostly.

Thanks, guys, for all the Love and Support and Patience.

Happy Weekend Everyone!!

Much Love.

Always.

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