Shot one

Soch na Sake

~Chal Chale Apne Ghar , A mere Humsafar~

She moved her steps swiftly in order to catch up with him. Though the forest path was filled with up downs , not smooth like palace floors , and all the thorns lay in the way she managed to walk gracefully and confidently. 

At times she quietly glanced at the man walking beside her and blushed every time. She could not believe it. She was walking with the man with whom she is gonna spend a whole lifetime. 
Her heart skipped a beat thinking that. How lovely their life would be. She remembered the time when he saved her from the traitor kings who were ready to kill her for choosing him. She smiled to her fullest remembering that moment. He wouldn't let anything happen to her and she knew that it was a silent promise he had given her the moment she had garlanded him. 
She was the happiest when he won her in the Swaymabhar. From the time they had met in the Shiv Mandir , she had been praying to Mahadev that she would be married off to him . And Mahadev did listen to her prayer . 'Mahadev never disappoints his devotees' Govind's words rang in her ear. 

But something was troubling her since the time she had seen him in the Shiv Mandir. Is he really Arjun ? The one her father wanted her to marry . The one for whom she had taken brith ? 

These questions really haunted her so she thought to play a game . She slowed her pace making her man to look back at her . 

"Is everything okay Princess ? Are you having a difficulty ? " he asked in the most concerned voice . 

"Yes I am having a great difficultly , my lord" her words increased his worry . 
He just had wished she wasn't having any difficultly . Difficultly walking in this forest path, difficultly in living a life simpler than a princess. He wished not because he feared she would leave him and return back to her father's palace and  he didn't want to lose her at any cost. 
He didn't know why there was a worry in his heart that he would have to lose her and he didn't want to . After all he just had just got her . 

He didn't knew what but there was something in her that attracted him towards her. The first he saw her in Shiv Mandir he wanted her at any cost . And when today he had been lucky to attend the swayambhar he made sure no one could take her away from him . He would make her his, at any cost. And he had. 

But now he was scared. What if she didn't want him? 

"What difficultly do you have princess ?" He asked again politely fearing her answer. 

"Isn't it a pity my lord that we are going to get married and yet we don't know each other 's name ? " she asked innocently and her reply made him sigh in relief.

But suddenly he remembered that sharing his name wasn't a matter of relief either. He had to think of a name.

"Bhateshor! " he replied smiling. Happy that he could come up with a answer. She smiled biting her lips. He was so adamant  to hide his secret! 

"Oh no! "   She gasped suddenly. 

"What happened princess ? " 

"I am going to marry you where else my father  wants me to marry someone else " she answered quietly. 

"Whom princess ? " he enquired curiously . Now whom the heck did king Drupad wanted his beautiful daughter to marry. 

"Umm . Prince ... Prince Arjun of Hastinapur" her voice had a tinge of mischief in it. 

"What?" 

"Yes. He says that he begot me just for prince Arjun and that I should be married off to him!" 

"But hes dead Princess " Arjun replied confidently, jealous of himself. 

"No he isn't . Govind had assured me and you know he is never wrong. And if you are not Arjun then maybe he is somewhere else. And I need to find him." 

"Why do you need to find him princess ?"

"To marry him. After all I can not let go of my birth purpose , now can I ? " she asked innocently.  All the while laughing inside. 

"But ... But does that mean you are going to leave me ?" 

"Yes . And I m going to search for him." 

"But what if, you don't get him princess ? " 

"Then I will not marry my whole life . But I will search for him anyhow. " she replied firmly. 
She then turned back and took a few steps showing that she was returning back. 

"But princess ...don't ! Wait, I am Arjun!" He bit his tongue after he said the words. 

Draupadi smiled happily and turned towards him with a straight face..

"I'm prince of Hastinapur . The third pandav , Arjun " Arjun said. 

"I knew it. I just wanted to hear from you " Draupadi replied smiling proudly while Arjun stood there with his eyes confused and his jaw dropped. 

~Mere Hoke Hi Rehna Kabhi Na Kehna Alvida~

His eyes met hers. 

His heart had a great stone of grief that he was carrying since their marriage and now that he was going to leave her, his weight of grief increased more. He couldn't believe it.

He had to leave her for twelve years. But he knew that this was the best way around. He didn't want to see her with someone else. And he was really scared that in her love, he may cross the limits and break his unity with his brothers. 

He broke their eye contact and turned to his brothers. He bid a goodbye to them while they continuously shred tears and requested him not to go.

Their cry really hurt him but sight that shattered him was her sight. The way she blankly looked at the ground not saying anything . He looked at her one last time and her complaining lotus eyes met his worried hazels. 

She has hundred of questions hurried in them , thousands of complains and millions of accusations. 

But she silently conveyed her message , 'come back soon . And stay safe' 

I nodded and started my journey. A journey which was filled with pain of leaving your beloved behind for twelve years which seemed like an eternity. 

Yet with a promise I left her , a promise to return back soon 'Stay Safe and All HERS'
...

~Agar Tum Sath Ho , Dil Yeh Samal Jaye~

She slowly took off her jewellery , one by one . Her eyes filled with tears smudging her kajal all over . But what's the use of it anyways ? 

All the morning she dressed up and got ready for him but ... but all in vain. 
All the twelve years she had dreamt being in his arms , hearing his magnetic voice call her name , his love conquering her senses and sleep . She counted the days of his return every day but what did she get when he returned ? A co sister with whom she had to share him . 

She sank onto the floor and buried her head on her knees as she wrapped her arms around them . Tears flowed out of her eyes like water . 

She kept on sobbing , she didn't know till when . He didn't come to her ... Oh why would he ? He had his new bride to attend and who was she anyway?

Today Panchali realised that among the Pandavs she loved him the most while he loved her the least . None of brothers brought their wives into their palace knowing how hurt she would be but this man ... This man didn't really care . 
First he shared her with his brothers like a material , then he left her when she needed him the most and now when she finally got him ..he brought another wife with him. She only got one year to spend but now that too she has to share with Subhadra. She will have to wait for him to come after the mercy of Subhadra . Just like tonight. 

She looked out of the window , no sigh of him coming . The full moon 's light shone in her garden and everything was crystal clear . And it was now crystal clear to her that he really didn't love her.
He didn't even once come to her . Leave apologising , he didn't even once tried to communicate with her . Oh why would he ? He was busy loving his new wife . 

She left out a heart filled cry and slowly wiped her tears . He didn't love her . She remembered the day when she first met him in the Shiv Mandir , the Swayambhar when he saved her , their little cute walk.
All seemed like a dream now , a beautiful dream broken into thousands of pieces . 

She didn't realise when she felt asleep . She opened her eyes slowly and realised that she was no longer in the floor . She felt her silk smooth bed sheet below her body and her soft cotton blanket covering her half body . She raised her head slowly and enquired the environment . There was a single Diya lit up in the big chamber. 

The sight seemed nothing new but when she looked at her side , she almost jumped off her bed with surprise . He was there lying in the bed , looking at her and smiling . His hands supported his head . 

"What are you doing here ? " she asked in amusement . 

"Watching my beautiful wife sleep " he said confidently . Oh that confidence of his ! 

"Why are you here my lord ? Why aren't you with your bride ? " she asked in an emotionless tone .

"I am with my bride " he said as he got up and shifted near to her. 

"Are you angry with me ?" he asked . 

"No. I am very proud of you . And really indebted "he laughed at her sarcasm . 

"That's the thing I love the most about you , you never hesitate to pour your heart out " 

"Do you even love me , my lord ? " her question made hundred of holes in his heart . How could he answer her that . 
He always loved her , and now after twelve years the love seemed to increase more and more . 

"That's a question , isn't it Krishnaa ?"he asked her softly . She looked at him surprised again. He called her with the name only Govind called her .
He knows how munch she loves the name .

"A mere fact my lord . A fact that rules my life , that you don't love me " she said with the biggest stone on her heart. 

"Then you are living believing a false fact Krishnaa . I really love you and I can't explain how much " 

"Oh really , maybe that's why I'm in number four right ? Ullopi , Chitra and then Subhadra . And where is Panchali ? Wait who ,Panchali ? " she blurted out angrily .

"I married Uloopi cause she had threatened me that she would die . Chitra 's father requested me to marry her for a heir . And Subhadra . Madhav requested me to marry her so that she wouldn't be married off to Duryodhan "he replied honestly . 

"Oh yes . And my lord has to become an angel ! To solve everyone 's problem and accept everyone's request and marry all ! " she shouted angrily . 

"You know what , my lord ? My cousin sister Karu has a crush on you since the time you won my father . She is insane after you . She has said to her father that she would marry only you and no one else. Should I send message to my uncle, my lord is very kind . He will marry everyone who loves him " she continued complaining . He just couldn't take it anymore . He loved her so much , he never wanted to see her sad . 
He pulled her towards him making her face him and cupped her cheeks in his hands as he leaned forward and kissed her lips . He surprised her again.

At first she protested but then gave in . Their soft kiss turned into a passionate one . They left each other grasping for breath .

"Gosh ! You have so many complaints ! Can we start with them tomorrow ? We can write down your complaints and solve them one by one but not now please . I don't want to waste our first night like this " he winked his eyes as he said the last line . She blushed a little . 

"No . Go to your princess , where is she? Aren't you supposed to be with her ?" She asked sarcastically .

"Right now , I don't give a damn about her . I love you and I want to prove my love to you " he replied as he pulled her towards him . Before she could protest further he took her lips and carried her to the bed, for a night filled with passion.
...
~Muskurane Ki Wajah Ho Tum~ 

His hands softened a bit at the touch . He carried the little bundle joy of his with the utmost care . He made sure he didn't hurt him at any cost . His face lit up more and his smile grew wider . 

There was it . His little son .  Arjun 's eyes beamed looking at the little baby of his and he felt really fortunate. 

The baby was sleeping peacefully . His eyes were closed , his perfect nose which had gone after his mother , the perfect lips and the perfect pair of ears . Arjun couldn't believe it . The baby was a perfect child . Arjun cradled him slowly and made sure the baby was comfortable and calm . Arjun promised himself that he would never spoil this calm sleep of his son . He would never let anything spoil his son 's sleep . 

He took his song to his wife . This was it. The fruit of their love . 
Panchali 's eyes softened at the sight before her . She slowly ruffled the small amount of hair of her son as she placed a soft kiss on his forehead . 

Her son , their son . 

"He is so ...so perfect " Arjun said in a very low tone and Panchali nodded in agreement . 

This was the first time Arjun had carried a just born child. He had been father of three sons but he never could hold his sons after their birth . Ullopi gave birth to Iravan after he left her . He wasn't allowed to meet Chrita and the new born for about a month . Subhadra went dwarka for her delivery . 
This was the first time he was holing a just born child and this was his child . It made him feel better , his child . Their child .
He hold the little baby with utmost care and love . He would make sure he would be always this caring to his son . After all he was the youngest . Arjun would give him so much love that his son wouldn't leave him for a moment . 

"What shall we name him ?" Arjun asked excitedly . He was never this excited before not even during Abhimanyu 's time.

Draupadi 's eyes glowed with the same excitement ."Srukriti" she said finally . 

"Kriti Putra Srukriti ." She added and Arjun smiled to his fullest . His son was named after him ! What more did he need ?

"Srukriti " he whispered in the baby's ears . "My son Srukriti " 
[COLOR=RED]
...
~When I was your man~

He walked slowly into her chambers , fearing his each step . 
What he had done today was something he couldn't have imagined in his whole life .
He left her when she needed him the most . She was publicly humiliated , badly insulted and what did he do ? Just stood there like a fool doing nothing . 
He felt like a loser right now . What was the use of all the archery knowledge and fighting skills when he couldn't save the one he loved the most from the worse humiliation . What was the use of him being world 's greatest warrior when he couldn't protect his own wife . Couldn't fight for her dignity . 

He felt like dying there and then . He held the food plate tightly as he entered her chamber. He set the plate aside, and settled on the ground next to her.

Stroking her hair, he placed his fingers on hers and removed her arms one by one. He continued stroking her hair till she turned her head to look at him.
He tried to smile, but what man can successfully do so when the wife he loves so much is outraged like no human should ever be?
Extending his arms, as if inviting her, he pleaded, "Please?"

She shook her head, refusing.

"Please?" he whispered, hoarsely, the word breaking.

Draupadi shut her eyes and covered her ears, but she couldn't stop a treacherous, jagged sob from escaping her throat.
When she opened them a while later, he was still holding his arms out to her.

She cried openly now, each sob a question.

Why did you not stop Yudhishtir?

Why did you stop Bheem?

Why did you not catch me when I fell?

Why did you not? Why did you not shield me?
The most painful question of their existence.

He stroked her back with his palm in a desperate attempt to calm her down.

When her shoulders stopped trembling, he reached for the plate.

"I don't think I can eat," she whispered. "Everything hurts too much."

"Please ."he requested . She shook her head firmly . But if she was reluctant he too was . 

He extended his hands with food in them "For Srukriti " he requested . Panchali looked at him amused , how could she decline her son . She slowly took the bit . He kept on feeding her with different names , her sons , Abhimanyu , her father , brother , sister and all who were dear to her except him and his brothers . He knew if he would take their name right now she would definitely stop eating . After all that was he and his  brothers deserved , her rejection .
Slowly tears started forming in her eyes again . He cupped her face with his clean hand, shaking his head.

An attendant came up with bowl for him to wash his fingers in.

Washing his fingers he asked the attendant to send for Nakul or Sahadev.

"I don't want my wounds cleaned or healed," she whispered hoarsely.

He was about to protest but she cut him off, turning away.

"I wish to sleep...and just sleep."

His shoulders sagged in defeat. How he wished to take this pain away from her! It was all his fault: he had given her only sorrow from the moment he had met her, while her very footsteps were the promise of happiness. Divided, unloved, and insulted! That was the saga of the fire-born.
He laid her head on the cushion of his lap, still cradling her neck, like he had done with their child. He bent down to kiss her forehead, but his lips trembled violently with supressed crying. His breath came out in fits and starts, his tears flowing freely down her face.
Slowly he hummed a paragraph of the lullaby which she used to sing to their son  while making him sleep , 

"Hai Zindagi Wahi , jo chalti hai 
Yeh Ghir k Hi , Sabhal Ti hai 
Gaye Ja , Gaye Ja , gum hai sargam
Gun guna Yeh dhun , Gaye Ja " 
...

~Kho gaya, gum ho gaya, , Apna banaya tha..Woh tera, woh mera~

The war ended with rather grief than joy for the Pandavs though earning the much wanted victory . They lost their loved ones , their family , their cousins , uncles , their teacher , father in law , unknown big brother and their dear son Abhimayu . The victory didn't seem a victory to them though all were relieved that they could avenge the heart wrenching insult of their dear wife and were able to win back their Indraprasth and the home which was never theirs , Hastinapur . 
One thing that made them happy was that their sons were alive , unharmed , all of them . The victory turned out to be worthy at least for their sons better future .

The last day of war , after finishing it off they all retired to their tent . 

Arjun found Srukriti or Shrutakarma as the priest had named him , in his tent . 
Surprised by the sudden visit of his son , he asked the reason. 

"I wanted to spend this night with you father " he replied simply . Arjun smiled at him . 

"But don't you want to spend the night with your brothers ? Celebrating the victory . " 

"No father , I don't want to celebrate anything besides , I have been living with my brother since the past thirteen years .  I haven't been with you since a long time . Please can I spend some time with you " he innocently requested . 
Indeed it had been a long since they spend time together . They couldn't spend quality time in Virat as they got busy preparing for war and the time Arjun had he gave it to Abhimanyu because he was just married . Arjun had loved and cared a lot of Srukriti , so much that they both had a tough time letting each other go during the time of depart after the Dyuth Sabha. Srukriti didn't even eat and sleep without his parents and he had spend thirteen long years without them . And he as just two then .

Arjun hugged Srukriti , "Sure son we will spend all the life we have" 

Arjun was so glad that even after Abhimanyu 's death , he had his son with him . And he would never let him go again . When the war started Arjun never wanted Srukriti to take part in it . As always Arjun was extra caring towards him but due to his son's reluctant decision to join his father in avenging his mother 's insult , Arjun had to let him in . Today he was glad that his son was here with him, unharmed . 

"Son , right now I need to go to finish some formalities with your mother and uncles . So you stay here with your brothers .  And catch some sleep ."he ruffled Srukriti 's hair .

"But father ?" 

"We have a whole life to spend together. And lot more time " Arjun said smiling not knowing that it was the lie of the day , lie of his life , lie that fate played with him .

"If you say so father " Srukriti said though he still didn't want to leave his father .
..
Draupadi looked around the room panicky  . She called her sons but they didn't answer her . Their were in deep sleep , a sleep from where they would never wake up . She felt her heart sank at the thought . Her sons . Were . Were dead ! 

The smiling faces , the voices calling her mother now silenced and got lost in the room . She looked around and could not take it more further . Before she could think and react , she passed out .
..
Five bodies were covered with cloth . Each lay with a heart wrenching truth . There was a loud cry of women ringing in the surrounding . The women who lost her dignity and while fighting for her rights , lost her father ,  her brother and now her five sons .

He was there , kneeled down in the ground looking blankly at the body in front of him . He could hear his brothers sobs , his wife's cry . He could see the environment yet not be in it .  He could see all his brothers crying over the dead of their son , his wife shattered crying out , his other wife sobbing and trying her best to console her sister .

But all he could think was ...was about the body in front of him . Dead . His son was dead . The fact still took time to register in his ears . His son who was just fifteen . The same son whom he used to cradle , the son whom he used to play with . The same son he had bid a good bye to . He's dead . His little son . 

"Father " his voice rang in Sabyasachi's ears as he felt it was worth dying , now that he had lost his son . 

Arjun could feel the anger inside him rise as he thought of how his poor son was killed. In his sleep . Such an unlikely behaviour of an warrior to kill his enemies. Aswathama ! Arjun clenched his teeth thinking of the sight. Of his guru son killing his son. How peacefully must be  his son sleeping. How dare that person attack and kill his son when he wasn't in his conscious . 
Arjun would surely kill the person. Aswathama, he dared to kill his son. Vijay 's son. His Srukriti. His little boy whom he loved and cared so much . Aswathama would definitely get his punishment . The war is still on. And he would make sure of it .
...

~Tere Bin , Tere Bina Jeena nahi Marna Nahi Tere Bin ~

"Aah" her scream rang in the great Himalayas as it pierced my heart out . She fell down . My last hope fell down. I didn't turn back, how could I ? Did I have the guts ? 
I kept moving my steps , with my brothers . I had lost the interest of walking anymore and was just waiting for my turn to fall down.. 

Why did she fall ? The lady who sacrificed her life for the sake of our unity. The lady who got nothing but hardship her whole life why was she the one to first to fall. She never let it go , was always determined to achieve what she wanted then why did she quit at the last moment ? Why the lady who was the most pious among us , couldn't make it to the heaven 's door ?
Reason me. Her love for me. Big brother sure did give a reason. She indeed loved me the most and I know that cause I loved her the most too. And I waited as Nakul and Sahadev fell down, one by one . I smiled I knew it was my turn. What was the use of living anyways ?  I would rather die with her  than living a eternity without her.

And yet the breath I named after her during her swayambhar, I breath it away. Waiting for an awakening into a heaven. A heaven with her.

Tenu itna main pyar kara
Ek pal vich soha baar kara
Tu ja ve j mainu chad k 
Mauth da intezaar kara

K tere liye duniya chodi hai 
Tujhe pe hi saas aake ruke
Main tujhe ko kitna chahata hu
Yeh tu Kabhi Soch Na Sake . 

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