Chapter 8

Goldenflowers

@Goldenflowers

PART 8


          Khushi kept on tossing and turning on the bed. Payal did observe she is trying to be brave and trying to stop her tears. Khushi is in bad mood and Payal knows even Arnav is very frustrated. She has checked him once after their fight and he is very irritated, hot tempered and most of all sulking

          Why are these two so complicated? Wondered Payal. It's been 12.30 and Khushi is still lost in her own thoughts and not even trying to sleep. Arnav on the other hand didn't return home until 11.30 panicking naniji, Khushi and herself. She has called so many times and he answered only once saying he is fine and will return home. He asked Payal not to bother, he is fine and he will return once his mind clears a little.

            Amidst of his frustration he has checked on how Khushi is and whether she ate. When she told Khushi is adamant and not eating, that's when he returned. Khushi is no less. Naniji and herself has observed that the moment Arnav has left the place, she is waiting endlessly for him and she is very hyper, panic, restless, irritated and frustrated. Once he came back, both didn't question anyone or both didn't ask each other to eat. They both just ate the food and went away in to their respective rooms. Neither Arnav said sorry nor Khushi tried to say sorry. Neither Arnav asked how she was nor Khushi asked why he came late. How strange are these two? Arnav just said tomorrow evening instead of car, they will go by train. The nearest airport is either Delhi or Dehradun. And it is useless to travel Dehradun and then go to Delhi. He said Nani complained that the road travel gave her some back problem, so we will go by train instead of car.  And he informed their train will start at 4pm.

            "If you are so restless for the pain of Arnav, why can't you take a step forward and talk to him Khushi?" inquired Payal

              "Jiji it's late, let's sleep." Khushi answered.

               Payal - "No one is big or small in relations Khushi. As it is we both have lost our parents and suffered a lot. I don't want you to suffer anymore. I can't. Raj bhaiyaa is in jail. Suddenly I am alone, lost, clueless Khushi. You became like this and Arnav went in to a shell. I have Akash no doubt, but my family is my family too with whom I can share things. I am lost Khushi. I am lost. I don't even understand when this will end

                Khushi Sorry Jiji, in all this I forgot you need me. It's just that I am unable to control my tongue when Arnav is concerned. I will certainly say sorry to him, if u feels so. I can do that for you jiji.

                 Payal Never say anything because I like it Khushi, it should be from you. If you like it then only say sorry to him. Not otherwise. I am not forcing anything Khushi, I am just saying that I know things happened which we cant change and you suffered a lot but now after these many years can we just co-exist, if not friends. We know that every day we have to be before all Raizadas whether we like it or not, so why can't we co-exist and be peaceful Khushi.

                Khushi I will try to be normal Jiji. And I am so sorry once again that you have to go through all of this because of me.

                 Payal No sweetheart it is not because of you. They were equally my parents and loss is the same. But your loss is bigger, so I have post poned my depressive feelings later. Good night and think about it.

                 Naniji, Khushi and Payal were sitting in the same row in the Ac chair car. When the train announcement came, Khushi started searching for Arnav, her eyes are moving rapidly here and there for Arnav. She thought he will sit opposite to them but then he didn't occupy the place. Naniji was sitting near the window, beside her payal sat and she sat in the aisle corner. Both naniji and Payal are not even bothered Arnav was not there.

                When train started, she couldn't stop and said "Jiji. Before she can complete the sentence Payal said "Arnav is sitting in the last row. If you want just check. 

                Khushi wanted to check but then she didn't check and said "its fine Jiji."

                But then her restless heart wanted to check him once, only once and so she excused herself for the usage of restroom. When she got up, she immediately felt a pair of eyes following her and so she is convinced that Arnav is somewhere.

                 The moment she has seen Arnav directly into the eye, he has turned away and khushi felt rejected. So she changed her direction of her way and went to the other end of compartment to use rest room.

                 Arnav knows why she did that, he felt rejected when she didn't come his way. As it is he is pissed about yesterday events. He knows he also said some words but Khushi said some words too. She is not even bothered if he was there in the trian or not. She didn't even check when the train started.(he don't know she asked Payal) Without thinking anything he came to Khushi occupied seat and sat there astonishing payal and nani both.

                When Khushi returned she got irritated that he is not even moving an inch. "Jiji ask him to go to his place," she requested Payal

               "I am just sitting here Payal, ask her to go to that place if she is desperate to sit and more over there are only aunties there."

                Before Payal can answer Arnav said " Do you have problem sitting there Khushi? Are you scared of doing it? Just tell me you can't do it and need my help, I will go"

               Everyone knows that Khushi has an habit of taking the challenges seriously and she said "No need, I can do anything and I don't need your help at all."

               She stomped her foot and was about to go but Arnav has pulled her by her hand. He didn't give any reaction when she has seen him angrily between his eyes and his hands.  He just said "Just say once - I need you, I need your help. At least once say it."

              "Arnav what happened to you, this is public place. Leave Khushi." admonished Payal

              "Fine like every time I will only submit myself for defeat. Khushi you can sit here and I will go there." angry Arnav said

             "You both sit here," commanded Nani. When everyone protested she just said "anyways the people in that seats look my age. I am anyways bored and frankly you both should stop fighting each every other given a small opportunity. Behave like adults. Chote, i expect lot from you, behave. Khushi is still young and we know she has been through lot. At least you be understanding." saying that she left.

              Arnav, Payal and Khushi all have insisted her not to go but then she is Arnav nani once decided she will do it. When nani left the place Khushi said I want window seat thinking that Payal would be in between and she can avoid Arnav. Because she knows if she is again with Arnav, they will fight again and it will go nowhere. She doesn't want to hurt him. She never wants to hurt. She loves him so much that it hurts. She don't want to have another heart break and she knows how much people say, she can never handle one more heart break. She knows she is weak but she can't help it. She is trying so much but then her heart is so weak.

          To her astonishment Arnav and Payal has exchanged their seats and smirking Arnav looked at her and said "What do you think, you can avoid me Khushi?"

          Khushi - "Why are you doing this Arnav?"

          Arnav - "Ignoring, giving individual space, thinking how you will react these all are things of past Khushi. This is enough. Its been long, you should come back. I used to afraid how will this crazy brain take if I force anything on you. But its too long now. I want you to come back and I want you acknowledge what we have, I want to you to want me as your..." Words didn't come out of his mouth, what will he say, lover, fiaaance, would be husband... Whatever he knows he is pushing her. Until now her therapist said don't push Khushi for anything until she herself relaxes and takes comfort in you to talk about anything. But he can't wait anymore. He wants her back man.

            If Khushi thought Arnav would let her sleep or sit indifferently she was gravely mistaken. Through out the journey he has forced or pushed or pulled her into a discussion and made her speak. She spoke gibberish but he is least bothered and again brought her in some other discussion. She even used the card "I am sleepy." He simply said "this is not your sleeping time, moreover do you think we can sit like this in a train ever. this is just first time we are doing it and we  should enjoy because we dont know when it will happen."

         Payal observed Khushi is getting irritated but Arnav didn'd budge.

         "She is getting irritated Arnav, You dont want her to ignore you completely, do you? why are you doing this? Payal questioned

         "I know what I am doing Payal, yep I don't want her to go to this phase again but trust me for once. She is not going to this phase. She wouldn't have waited for me to have dinner if she is planning to go that phase again. She is not completely fine I know, I am just pushing her i know that too but then because of us both no one is having rest in the family, you and akash are suffering. Anjali di is also suffering. I am least bothered about my mother india though. Still she is suffering and nani is also suffering."

         "Just because we are also taking share in your pain doesn't mean we are suffering and then we can't push khushi you know that, don't you." payal said

         "I am just being my old self Payal, who dominates, commands, be possesive, irritates and controls Khushi because she loved that Arnav not this Arnav. I am just being that jerk so that she comes back around and be my khushi." Arnav said about his thoughts

         "Why are you both whispering?" Khushi asked

          "Because we don't want you to know what we are discussing... Simple" Arnav said

           "And why is that so?"

           The banter of tu tu main main went on until they reached Delhi entertaining not only Payal but also fellow passengers. Arnav might be right, Payal thought. At least Khushi is speaking some thing, even if it is for back answering Arnav or saying mean things but she is showing emotions, that's important