Malaal-Chapter 31

CHAPTER 31

Rashi didn’t come out of her room for the whole day. There was silence in her house. The Modis not talking much, Jigar completely silent in his room, and memories whispering in everyone’s ears.

Rashi hadn’t stopped crying since hours now. She was sitting beside her bed on the floor, her hand on her mouth, to prevent sobs from escaping her heart. 

“Why was I chosen for all this?”, she asked out of frustration. She never asked such impractical question in the last two years, but she was fed up to such an extent now that she wanted to escape from it. She wanted to die probably.

“You took everything I had. A family which I thought was mine. A man who seemed to love me more than himself. My two little children, my two little lifelines, MY children...what more do you want Kanhaji! You want my breaths too? You want me to die? Okay then, I would. I can’t believe I hurt him like that. What have I become? There’s no point in bearing this turmoil anymore. I have no one to live for. And I can’t live anymore. It’s tiring. It’s draining me out...”, she cried in a low voice and stared into nothingness.

“Kokila, I don’t know what has happened between the two. But since morning, none of them have come out of their rooms. We must check.”, Hetal told Kokila, concerned.

“Yes Motabhabhi, these kids are going through a lot. We need to be around. Even if they don’t like it.”, Kokila said as they walked towards Rashi’s room.

The moment they entered, they saw something shocking. Rashi was holding a knife in her hand, about to slit her wrist.

“Rashi!”, Kokila shouted and ran to her. In a flash, she took the knife from her hand and slapped her in frustration.

“What are you doing! Have you gone mad!”, she shouted.

“Rashi dikra, what is all this? Oh my god-“, Hetal said as she saw a slight cut on her wrist already.

Rashi’s face didn’t even flinch a bit. She was looking unrecognisable. Her kohl was all smudged up, her hair disheveled, and her eyes looked tired of all the crying.

“Yes, I have gone mad. And that’s only because of you people.”, she said in a broken voice. 

Her childlike vulnerability was getting evident, refuting the mask of strength that she usually wore.

“Rashi, what have we done? We have come here to-“, Kokila said hastily.

“I don’t want to know! I don’t care! You people won’t let me live isn’t it? Two years ago, I left your house, with nothing but heartbreak, my Mom blamed me for everything, I suffered so much on my way here, hadn’t it been for Ishan, I would’ve been all alone in a big strange city with no one to call my own. And now, when after struggling so much, after putting myself together, after managing to be myself more or less, you people simply invaded my life godammit! You have opened the wounds that I had stitched with so much effort, and that son of your house thinks that I would forgive him? That he would leave me in a blink of an eye, keeping all our promises aside, and when he will realise that he is sad without me, he would simply come and get me? That’s what it’s for him? Maybe. But for me, feelings aren’t toys, lives aren’t toys and nor am I. This chapter is over for me. Close it for you too. And LEAVE MY LIFE. Or else, I will leave mine.”, she said as she snatched the knife from Kokila’s hand and tried to slit her wrist, but her hand was held tight by a man.

“Rashi. Calm down please.” It was Ishan. He hugged her tight.

“Are you mad yaar? Do you think I deserve this? You have been the only person that mattered to me in these years, we have treaded each and every path together, and now you just decide to kill yourself and leave me all alone? That’s the strength of the relationship we share?”, he asked. 

Kokila tried to keep her hand on Rashi’s shoulders but Ishan signalled her not to. He mouthed a silent “I will handle this. Relax.”, and Hetal and Kokila nodded. They slowly walked out with tears in their eyes and held each other’s hands.

“Motabhabhi, I can’t see this anymore. Her pain is beyond the reach of any forgiveness.”, Kokila said in a broken voice.

“Yes Kokila. But is it beyond the reach of love?”, Hetal asked with hope still in her eyes.

Kokila looked at her and nodded with determination.

“I think it’s good that Ishan is with her. She will be alright I hope.”, Kokila added.

They went to Jigar’s room and knocked. Surprisingly, he opened the door normally. There wasn’t any mess in his room, his hair and clothes also looked fine. But his face. It looked as static as a lake. Cold. Absolutely nothing on it. As if one is looking into fog.

“Jigar dikra, are you okay?”, Hetal asked softly.

“I am okay Ma.”, he replied simply, his expression not changing a bit. It was indifferent to their presence.

It scared Hetal and Kokila.

“Are you sure?”, Hetal asked sweetly again.

“Yes Ma, I am fine. Relax.”, he said softly and smiled. He turned around slowly to hide the tears that were welling up in his eyes.

“Don’t worry about me Ma.”, he said and took his night clothes out of his cupboard.

“All of this is going to end very soon.”, Jigar said slowly as he entered the washroom to change.

Hetal and Kokila looked at each other. 

“What does he mean?”, they said simultaneously.

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“Ishan Sir, it’s Rashi Di’s annual party two days later. Shall I begin the preparations?”, Gaayu, standing with her army of twenty house managers asked. 

It was dinner time and Ishan was sitting with the Modis(except Jigar) for dinner. 

“Obviously, why did you feel like asking?”, he replied without looking up from his food.

Gaayu hesitated. “Actually I thought that Rashi Di isn’t happy, I mean she is disturbed these days.”

“Come on Gaayu. You know Rashi. She is okay as long as I am besides her. Nothing has changed, Gaayu. We’ll make sure nothing will.”, he said as he looked at the Modis.

“Umm, party?”, Ahem asked.

Ishan smiled. “Rashi Shah’s annual party. The highlight of the year. The talk of the town, especially fashion circles. It’s one of the grandest parties of the year. Budding designers work hard to get an invite because being seen with Rashi gives a big flight to their careers. Magazine journalists, cover page editors, celebrity fashion designers, journalists and in Rashi’s style: orphan kids and old people from old age homes. Everyone have the best time of their year.”, he said with pride and a certain amusement.

Everyone just stared at Ishan with open mouths. 

“What? God, she isn’t your saree clad daughter in law anymore folks! Get out of the illusion already!”, he said and laughed.

Ahem and Gopi smiled. Gopi, Hetal, Parag and Baa smiled out of pride, while Chirag, Kokila, Ahem and Kinjal smiled out of amusement. Success never failed to impress them.

“By the way, half of Ahmedabad has a crush on her. Don’t be surprised if someone proposes to her in the party.”, Ishan added and smiled with naughtiness. Kokila literally choked on her food.

“Gaayu, make sure the party’s better than last year’s. Rashi needs to have some fun too.”, he instructed Gaayu.

“And by the way, I’m a bit surprised that you didn’t know about Rashi all this time. You don’t watch TV or read magazines etc?”, he asked confused.

“No, not much. It’s an unsaid rule.” Kokila said and touched her pallu.

“What an alien family.”, Ishan thought as he tried to keep his face straight.

“Guess what? The rule cost you big time. It made you stay away from a family member isn’t it?”, he taunted as he got up.

“Goodnight folks.”, he said and went to Rashi’s room. Rashi needed his support and he was ready.

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