How (Not) to Woo Your Crush

Crushes are bollocks! Rudra would advise you to never have a crush on someone, and as soon as you start having a crush on someone, hit your head on the wall, and keep doing so till you get over it.

How could he, the resident hotness of the school, the only guy whose limbs didn't go astray due to growth hormone, have this much crush on the school's nerdiest boy, Rajeev. He was nothing, a nobody, according to Ananya, the school's queen bee and his bestie. But to him, to Rudra, Rajeev was amazing, and please note that Rudra wants to stress every syllable of the word.

He has stalked Rajeev on Instagram so much that he is pretty sure that he knows every caption by heart, and the guy is so witty, so sarcastic with them that Rudra can't even express.

You see what the issue is, this! He can't get over Rajeev, and almost anything becomes about him nowadays. Talk of school, Rudra thinks of him, talk of Math, Rudra thinks of him, talk of football, and Rudra wishes Rajeev would watch him play, swoon at his natural abs like the girls at school did when he would lift his T-shirt; but instead, that idiot would be reading textbooks or Harry Potter in some corner of the library. So that's what he does, starts reading Harry Potter. 

The series is interesting, and by the time he finishes two books, it's 3 a.m.

Next morning, he is thrown out of class for sleeping in the class and then hears Tripathi yelling at someone, followed by a collective loud gasp, so he peeps in the class to look at a miserable Rajeev walk towards him. Wait, what? Is he hallucinating? Is the teachers' favorite boy getting punished? Did he drink from dad's glasses yesterday? No, then why is he seeing Rajeev stand next to him, tears pooling in his eyes? He stares at Rajeev, trying to understand what just happened, and thinks that maybe he should try to make him feel better.

"Just so you know, being punished is sometimes the best part of school life," he says and curses himself as Rajeev's tearful eyes look up at him. Rajeev forces a laugh as he wipes his tears. Rudra feels bad.

"Why did that old monk throw you out?"

"I forgot to get my assignment," Rajeev says, looking at the ground. But Rudra doesn't want to believe him; after all, stalking Rajeev for so many months had shown him that Rajeev was punctual. He raises his eyebrow.

"Ok, fine, Rishi has just gone through a bad break up, and Tripathi had already complained about him to his mom, who would have freaked out if she found out that he hadn't submitted this term work assignment," He looks up, his eyes soft like a baby, pleading Rudra to keep a secret. He nods.

"That's very Gryffindor of you," Rudra says before he knows. People usually get tongue-tied in front of their crushes, and then here he was, who couldn't shut up.

Rajeev looks at him, slightly taken aback.

"I was reading Harry Potter, last night, so," Rajeev nods.

He wants Rajeev to ask him something about the series. His opinions about it, and though he won't be able to give sensible answers since he hasn't finished reading the whole series, Rudra has watched the movies, so, he knew that he wouldn't mess up; all he had to do was remember that book Ginny was awesome (he had researched the series on Tumblr)

But nothing, maybe because Rajeev assumed that Rudra has always been a Harry Potter fan.

"You know, maybe we should discuss Harry Potter more; I will finish the rest of the books soon, so," No! Wtf! What had he done? Rudra wants to die, right now and he doesn't care how!

Rajeev looks at him in utter confusion.

"Sure," He says, still confused.

"Just to be clear, I wasn't asking you out," Rudra is so done with himself but can't help but smile as Rajeev smiles back at him and mutters a "Yeah sure" while his expressions say that he doesn't believe him. The two of them look at each other as the awkwardness sinks in and then burst out laughing at their silliness.

In a few days, if you see Rudra and Rajeev hanging out more often and Rajeev attending Rudra's football practices, it's just because they are friends and not dating, and also, Rajeev is not swooning on Rudra's abs, but Rudra likes to believe that he is.

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