A/N: This is going to be a long author's note so you have been warned beforehand.
Finally, we have reached the end of 'Keep Loving Me, Will you?" and this is the only story of mine that I feel I have taken the most and the least time to complete. Most, because of the obvious reason. I started posting this in October 2013 and this is June 2017. Let that sink in. Four years! I am almost feeling embarrassed about it.
But, this is also the story that I finished in the least time. How so? Before this story had to see the ugly face of a hiatus, I had posted only 15 chapters. Now we're at Chapter 31 (+ the Epilogue. Yes, there is an epilogue ). I wrote over 15 chapters in a month and that is an achievement for me. Never have I ever done that. So, this story is both my pride and my embarrassment.
Now, coming back to the story, I have tried my best to give it a proper ending but those who haven't read my other stories, I am not a champion at wrapping up my stories. I haven't written any great epilogues or last chapters which would make people think yes, this was the best ending. I suck at writing last chapters. But, I think, this one is not so bad (you can decide for yourself after reading it and let me know if you think it could have been better and if yes, then how would you have preferred it. I'd love to read some alternate endings)
I think this is enough bakwaas. Here goes nothing!
Chapter 31: Hand Me Your Heart
Aman parked his car into the hospital parking and then got down the car. After the lunch hour, he had had a quick bite and slipped out of the office.
Arnav was occupied with Khushi so Aman was glad that he didn't have to bother about letting Arnav know that he was planning to give a visit to his brother dearest.
Even though Arnav had assured Aman that the last decision in this case was going to be made by Payal and Akash was going to stay in his limits, Aman had to know for himself.
First, he'll meet Akash and tell him in clear words that Payal was no longer alone so Akash needed to behave. And then he will tell Akash that he liked Payal and would do anything to make sure Payal is safe.
But, when Aman walked up to Akash's hospital room, he felt a hot knife being driven into his chest.
Payal was there. She was with Akash. Akash had his arms around Payal and it was clear the two of them were having a private moment right before he barged in.
Aman was not ready for the pain that shot through his heart upon seeing Payal so close to Akash.
Did she forgive him? How can she do that? Does she still love Akash despite everything?
Aman had wanted to whirl out of the room, to become invisible so no one would see what he felt in that moment. But, before Aman could gather his wits, Payal had noticed him.
Aman too didn't fail to notice the surprise and embarrassment that crawled upon Payal's face after she had quickly stepped away from Akash.
He wanted to shout, scream, demand from Payal how can she go back into the arms of this vile man who ruined her life?
He watched as she quickly left the room and Aman's gaze narrowed on Akash who was still gazing after Payal.
Aman wanted to hurl harsh words at Akash but the man already looked beat.
"What is the purpose of your visit, Aman?" Akash asked him after a second, but Aman didn't speak.
He stood contemplating if he should deal with Akash first or go after Payal.
"Aman?" Akash repeated his name but Aman, having made his decision, turned on his heels and chased after Payal with quick, long strides.
He has to tell Payal about his feelings and he will do it now.
By the time Aman reached Payal, she was already out of the main building and heading towards the gate.
"Payal" Aman called her name and Payal froze in her tracks. She didn't turn.
"Say it, Aman" Aman urged himself as he jogged up to Payal. Now or never!
~~~
Payal's heartbeats were racing. She had practically run out of the building and when she heard Aman call her name, her legs stopped on their own.
She heard Aman reach up to her and then he was in front of her, looking at her face with eyes that held myriad emotions in them. She could tell that he was about to say something. Something that she was not ready to hear!
Was he going to rebuke her for coming up here to meet Akash? Or was he going to judge her for what he saw in the hospital room? But as Aman started speaking, she was rendered thoughtless.
"Since the very first day I saw you, I was intrigued by you, Payal. And as we met again, we talked; I could see it in your eyes that you were burdened by a painful past and you were slowly sinking into hopelessness. I think I was pulled towards you because I knew that feeling and for some inexplicable reason, I wanted to save you from it. I mean I didn't even know you properly back then and I am not saying I still know you completely. But I want to, Payal. Over the two months, whenever I am around you, I have been feeling things I should not feel, things that I thought I will never feel again. You're a wonderfully amazing person, Payal. You're beautiful and strong. You are loving and caring. You are compassionate. And you know what, Payal? My life has none of these things.
But from the moment you have come into my life, I see hope, Payal. I think that maybe I can get all of these things. I...What I am trying to say is that..I like you, Payal, and I want all those things that only you can give me" Aman poured his heart out to a stupefied Payal who was only staring at Aman with disbelief.
"Aman..I don't know what you're saying. This..How? When? We are just friends" Payal grabbed at straws, telling herself that this was a dream. Nothing about this d aymade sense.
First, Akash asked her to marry him. And now Aman says that he likes her?
She watched with a hammering heart as Aman caught her hand and then held it softly in his.
"We are friends, Payal. We will always be. But, we can be more too. Trust me, we can be happy together. We can fulfill each other, Payal. I need a mother for my daughter. You need a father for your baby. But, this is not the only reason, Payal. The biggest reason is that I want to be with you, I want to know you more, I want to fall head over heels in love with you. I want to live again, Payal. With you. And you don't know just how badly I want you to feel the same way for me as I feel for you. That's crazy, right? I don't know if you even like me in that way or not, or if you even consider me worthy enough for yourself. But, I promise you, Payal, that I will work every day to be the person you deserve, to be the person you can learn to love someday" Aman finished and Payal felt her heart filling up with a constricting emotion.
How can he think that he is not already the person she wants for herself? You are, Aman. Her heart whispered.
But, what about her baby and Akash?
And as if Aman could read her thoughts, he slowly moved his hands up and placed them on her both arms, holding her gaze at the same time.
"But, in the end, if you choose Akash, I'll respect your decision, Payal. While I may not think of Akash as the ideal human being, if you still love him, if you want to be with him..I'll back off. It is and always will be your choice. I also know that I don't stand much chance against Akash because he is your first love and also the father of your baby. I can understand if you choose him..or if you have already chosen him.."
"I haven't" Payal immediately cut off Aman.
"What you saw was just a moment, Aman. It didn't mean what it must have looked like" Payal continued and she watched the relief that flooded Aman's features.
He really did care about her. It was right there on his face and in his words. Payal realized that there was no way she could keep herself in denial anymore.
"But, I don't think you and I can be together, Aman. I don't deserve someone as good as you. I am broken goods. You deserve someone who is whole, someone who does not come with a baggage" Payal answered, hiding her gaze from Aman and Aman's hands slid away from her arms.
"Is that what you think, Payal? That YOU are not good enough for me? How on earth you came to that conclusion? You think I am any better? I am broken too, Payal. But you are already healing me. The hole that was in my heart after Shweta left, it is finally closing, Payal. The pain is leaving. Because of you. You're all I can ever ask for, Payal" Aman said passionately and Payal almost hugged him.
It was surreal to be wanted by Aman. To hear that he liked her. Because, Payal could easily imagine a life with him. She will be happy with Aman and it will be natural like breathing.
"Akash says he wants to marry me" Payal finally revealed.
"What do YOU want, Payal"? Aman asked her instead, looking into her eyes.
Payal asked herself the same question. What does she want? Can she go back to Akash? Today, Payal had seen glimpses of the Akash she had fallen in love with. She could also see that the Akash she had met today was different from the man who was hell bent on ruining her life. Yet, despite everything, Payal couldn't bring herself to feel the same love she once felt for him.
She still cared deeply for Akash. But it was not love anymore. Just as it became clear to Payal, she looked at Aman.
"Please wait for me" She asked Aman.
"I'll be here until you comeback" Aman replied. He could see that Payal had made a decision. He just had to wait and find out if he was going to be the one walking away with nothing or with everything.
He watched Payal turn on her heels and walk back inside the hospital. He held his breath.
~~~
Akash's face lit up as he noticed Payal walking inside the room once again.
"Pay..."
"I believe you, Akash. I believe that you have changed, and even though it may take me days, weeks, or months to completely trust you again, or I might never completely trust you again, I can believe that you have changed. And it is for the same reason that I am ready to give you a second chance. You can be the father of my baby. I will not keep you away from him or her. But, I cannot marry you, Akash" Payal said to Akash.
Akash's face crumpled with anguish and sorrow and he sat up on the bed.
"Please, Payal. Don't say that. I love you. I need you in my life. I can't live without you. And you love me too. Don't you remember?" Akash instantly grabbed Payal's hand, not letting it go.
"I am not the same person who loved you, Akash. I have changed. None of us are the same people. And you were right, I still care about you. Maybe I'll always do, because you were my first love. But, I don't see a future for us. The love that you are talking about...it's not there. It extinguished" Payal replied, her own voice equally sad.
"No, no. That's not true, Payal. I can prove it you. You still love me.." Before Payal could get a clue, Akash had pulled her closer and placed his lips upon hers, kissing her.
Payal immediately stiffened and she pulled away from him. She was halfway from slapping him when she heard the cold voice.
"What the f**k is wrong with you, Akash?
Payal instantly stepped several feet away from the bed and found herself being hugged by Khushi.
She watched from the corner of her eye as Arnav walked towards the bed and glared angrily at his brother.
"Did you just try to force yourself on her? The woman who is pregnant with you child?" Payal could see the rage that was rolling off of Arnav and she was thankful to god that Aman hadn't come inside with them.
"No, Bhai. That's not what I was doing" Akash looked like a brick had been hurled at him. He looked wounded by Arnav's words.
"I was just trying to prove to Payal that she still lov.."
"Shut up, Akash or so help me god, I'll punch you in the face" Arnav's words held a promise to them but Akash barely paid heed to them.
"Please, Payal. Tell me that you didn't feel anything? Tell me that you didn't feel the same love for me?" Akash looked pleadingly at Payal and Payal stepped out from the protective arms of her sister.
Even Khushi looked ready to choke Akash.
"No, Akash. I didn't feel the love. In fact, I felt disgusted. I felt violated" Payal shouted the words at him.
She watched the confusion play on Akash's face. The confusion then slowly vanished and Akash's shoulders slumped. It looked like it was finally dawning on him that the love he had taken for granted was now truly lost to him.
"I know it is hard, Akash" Payal spoke again, this time taking one slight step towards him.
"I felt the same. I had to come to terms with the fact that you did not love me in the same way I loved you. And trust me, it was harder for me. I was broken. I had no one but Khushi to help me. But, you have your entire family with you. And I still stand by my words. You will be allowed to be the father you want to be to my.. to our baby. But before that, show me that you're worthy of my trust. You have four months to learn to be a good person, to be the kind of person you want your child to know you as" Payal finished.
Akash was still not looking at her and Arnav was still shooting daggers at his brother from his eyes.
Khushi was simply staring at Akash with a disgusted face.
"I am sorry, Payal" Akash finally murmured.
"For everything" He added, finally lifting his gaze and looking at her.
Tears lined Payal's eyes.
Akash could see that his words had an effect on Payal and one day she might even forgive him, but she will always remember what he did. There was no erasing the ugly chapter he had written in her life.
"Let's leave, Jeeji. Amanji is waiting outside" Khushi broke the silence and Payal slowly walked out of the room with her.
After both the sisters left the room, Arnav moved towards Akash.
"How can you even say that you love her? I thought you have changed, Akash, but what you tried to do today? I can't even look at you right now. All I can say is that you still have a long way to come and realize what is right and wrong" Arnav's words were harsh and unforgiving.
Akash didn't say anything. He continued to stare at the empty wall ahead.
"Are you even listening to me, Akash? I promised Aman that you will no longer hurt Payal but what you.."
"What has Aman got to do with all of this?" Akash's head finally whipped towards Arnav. It made Arnav realize that apparently Aman hadn't yet talked to Akash. Arnav had assumed that it was the reason why Aman had sneaked from the office to come here. Well, this was simply going to add insult to injury for Akash but Akash has to know this.
"Aman likes Payal" Arnav said. The words staggered Akash for a second and he looked at his brother to know if Arnav was joking.
"Aman Mathur? Your manager? Likes Payal? My Payal?" Akash asked, bewildered.
"First of all, she is not YOUR Payal, Akash. She just walked out of your life and you apologized to her for everything. So, don't let any idea come to your mind and ruin what Payal is offering you. If you want Payal to not hate you completely, I suggest that you do not get involved into this. Aman likes Payal and from the looks of it, Payal too might have a soft corner for Aman. So, stay out of it. Be the good person you so badly want to be. Don't do anything stupid. This is not just a brother's advice but also a brother's warning. An advice from your brother and a warning from Aman's! Because you know that Aman is important to me. And now to Payal too" Arnav delivered his words to Akash who was openly gaping at Arnav with his eyes full of raging storms.
Arnav could see Akash's brain was working at a rapid speed and so was his heart. He could understand it was going to be painful for Akash to watch Payal with Aman but he had earned this pain through his very own actions.
Akash processed Arnav's words and gulped down whatever emotions he was feeling.
"If I do not kill Aman or break his bones right after I get out of this gods damned hospital, will Payal really hate me less? Will she actually let me be a part of my child's life?" Akash asked Arnav.
Arnav nodded his head. He knew Payal will stand by her words.
"Then I'll do my best to overcome the urge to kill him"
Arnav couldn't tell if Akash meant that literally but it was good enough for now.
~~~
When Payal and Khushi reached outside, Payal found Aman standing right where she had left him. He stood resting his body weight on one leg while he was nervously tapping his other foot.
Payal could see that he was on phone.
"Go, Jeeji. Get him" Khushi's words were soft but laced with glee and Payal looked at Khushi with surprise.
"How do you.."
"Come on, Jeeji. Details later! Go on, now" Khushi cut across Payal and softly shoved her body forward.
Payal shook her head and then moved towards Aman.
Aman at once noticed Payal and his attention got fixed on her.
By the time Payal reached to Aman, he was wrapping up his call.
"Yes, I'll bring her with me, sweetie. Now daddy has to go. Bye. Love you" Aman said, and slid the phone into his pocket.
"It was Aakriti. She was asking if I'll bring you home with me" Payal could see Aman's nervousness in his faltering smile.
"I said yes. But, I'll go home and explain it to her later that you were busy" Aman didn't stop speaking and Payal didn't know if she was more amused or more touched.
"My parents want me to get married" Payal said in return, hating to see Aman's face fall.
"Right! Okay! Of course! Parents always want the best for us. I understand, Payal. Akash is offering you marriage. He is the father of.."
"No, no. Aman. I do not mean Akash. I am not marrying, Akash. I don't love him anymore. At least not in the way that makes a difference. I care about him. But, I cannot marry him" Payal quickly explained.
"Then who?" Aman's face was still tragic.
"There is a man. His name is Mukesh and he was in my school back in Lucknow" Payal replied, scratching the ground with her toe.
"Oh! You like him"? Aman asked Payal and Payal looked at Aman, her eyes asking if he was really asking this question.
"I don't exactly have men lining up to marry me, Aman. I have to choose from what I have got" She answered and Aman looked baffled for a second.
"Read between the lines, dumbass" It was Arnav's mocking voice which travelled to Aman and he turned his head to look at his friend. He could see that Arnav and Khushi were trying to hold in their laughter.
Then, Aman looked back at Payal who was turning into the colour of beet root with embarrassment.
"Oh" Aman said, the bulb in his head finally lighting up.
He immediately moved to Payal and held her hand.
"Payal, will you marry me?"
"Dumbass" Arnav commented again this time only to receive a pinch from Khushi and a glare from Aman.
"Payal, I promise that I'll always keep you happy and in return, you'll always have to share your 'bread pakodas' with me. I promise you that I'll always be your friend and in return you'll have to rescue me from Aakriti's late night pasta demands. I promise you that I'll never let you shed a tear and in return you'll have to let me pamper this latest member in our life" Aman said and Payal let out a mixed sob of happiness and laugh.
"You'll have to talk to my Babuji and Amma" She replied in return.
"Don't worry about that, Payal. Khushi is already eager to do that" Arnav said, finally Khushi and him walking towards them.
"No, no. now that Amanji has professed his feelings to Jeeji, I think he should be the one to brave this final battle too. But, of course, I'll be there to take your side, Amanji" Khushi replied, smiling widely.
Aman too smiled gratefully, his eyes looking where Payal still held his hand in hers.
"Let's do it tonight" He said.
Payal looked at Khushi and then back at Aman and then she nodded.
"I really hope he's talking about meeting with your Babuji and not something else" Arnav muttered to Khushi whose mouth fell open.
"Haww..! Don't say such things, Arnav" She whispered back to him.
"Doesn't matter how many haww's you do, Khushi. Soon, we'll be doing it too" Arnav said again, his voice low and teasing.
"I don't want to talk to you right now" Khushi made a face while her insides were tickled by his words.
She moved closer to Payal and stuck a tongue towards Arnav. Arnav winked at her.
"I think all of us should get moving now. And Aman, I am deducting money from your salary this month" Arnav then focused his words towards Aman who scowled.
"On what account?" He asked Arnav, still holding Payal's hand which he could feel Payal was now trying to take back.
"Well, for starters, today you sneaked out of the office without informing your boss. Then, you have been distracted this entire month and not paying enough attention on the work. So, that qualifies for some salary deduction" Arnav replied.
"Screw you, boss" Aman answered, rolling his eyes.
"I'll fire your ass if you keep talking to me like that" Arnav said, raising an eyebrow.
"Jeeji, let's go sit in the car and these two can squabble here" Khushi said, taking Payal's other hand.
"Amanji, let go of Jeeji's hand" Khushi said to Aman.
"Take your woman out of here, ASR. I was having a moment with Payal before you two showed up" Aman replied, not letting Payal's hand go.
"Oh really? It looked like to me that you were in desperate need of our help. Anyway, Khushi and I have better places to be" This time Arnav grabbed Khushi's hand.
"We do?" Khushi looked at Arnav.
"Yes, come on, now" Arnav said, dragging her away.
Only Payal and Aman remained there, gazing into each other's eyes. Standing together, holding each other's hand, they knew that the rest of things will slowly fall into place on their own.
__________________________________
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