Chapter 14: Thoughts and conflicts
She hated everything about this new morning. She could have simply slept last night and never woken up. That would have put the world to rest, at least her world.
The memory of the dreaded words from the last day made her recoil.
"You have to break him into pieces. Devoid him of everything he relishes, enjoys, is proud of. Snatch the single happiness coming his way."
This was her assigned task.
She needed to get his signs on some papers Akash had provided her with.
She had never bothered to read them.
Maybe now was the time to have a look into them.
Leaping down her bed, she walked to her table and unlocking a drawer, pulled out a green file.
Taking it back to the bed, she immersed herself into reading the four pages long document.
Her mouth dried up as she got to the end of the document.
It was an irrevocable testament declaring all the real estates, personal items, and bank, stock, and money market accounts, tangible and intangible properties owned by Arnav Singh Raizada to be transferred in the name of Akash Singh Raizada.
The only thing needed to put the testament in action was Arnav's signature and she was going to be the role player in it.
No matter how wrong it was, she was driven by her selfish reasons and fears to succumb to this manipulation put in motion by Akash Raizada.
She was nothing but a pawn into this game that had no say.
She couldn't run to Arnav and tell him everything because that was going to put her loved ones in danger.
She couldn't afford another heart attack to her still recovering father and at the same time help her sister move on with her life.
All she knew was her family and their safety and she was going to ensure this safety at the expense of her conscience, her love.
"Try forgiving me, Arnav, will you?" she whispered the words as moisture seeped out of her eyes in form of small droplets and before heading for a bath, she stowed the documents in her satchel.
~~***~~
"Welcome back, ASR. Wasn't expecting you in the office today" Aman's voice gave away the delight of his heart as he failed largely at keeping his voice poised.
"I am glad I could surprise you" The mockery wasn't lost upon Aman while he noticed how leisurely Arnav strolled to his chair.
"Something I should know?" asked Aman, his voice skeptic as he took in Arnav's jubilant mood and added liveliness to his glinting eyes.
"Yes, I need Singhal's file on my table and my usual coffee" replied Arnav, blowing off all and any hopes Aman had about extracting some news out of Arnav.
"And yes, ask Akash to pay me a visit this evening. He has been remote these days" Arnav expressed out his thoughts, well aware that Aman was the man he could trust with such sort of news.
"Anything else, boss?" asked Aman, playing the obedient employee and Arnav shook his head, dismissing him.
~~**~~
As Aman headed out of the room, Arnav went through the to-do-list received in his email which meant Khushi was already in the office but since he could see the cubicle unoccupied, he calculated her to be in the working space or maybe already getting his coffee.
While he waited for Khushi to appear, the to-do list informed him about the three meetings he had to attend for the day, two in the conference room of his office while the third one was arranged in a hotel which followed the lunch.
He could take Khushi with him for the meeting and they could have the lunch together, he thought. If only she relents to the latter part as the former part already needed her with him.
Though he had let out his feelings to her, she still hadn't answered him about what she felt for him that needed patience and one-step-at-a-time agenda from Arnav's side and he was completely willing to do so.
But amidst all this, he was sure of one thing.
If not anything more, Khushi at least liked him.
He had read it in her eyes and now all he needed from her side was her verbal consent before he could make a move.
He had allowed her time to think upon it and he was sure Khushi was sooner or later going to come around.
There was this unspoken, unsaid, but strongly felt connection between them which was impossible to be overlooked or left uncared of.
It tied them together, to each other.
From here on, things were going to be better for them or so Arnav thought.
"May I come in, sir?" Khushi's voice brought his train of thoughts to a halt and he gestured her to come in.
"I thought we had settled upon referring to each other as Arnav and Khushi" commented Arnav as Khushi passed him the coffee mug.
"I thought that was an arrangement meant for outside of our office hours"
"Is it so? Then, I reckon I would be privileged some private hours to bring that arrangement into effect?" asked Arnav, his face giving way to his signature smirk and Khushi blushed.
"We have to attend a meeting at San Gimignano which you already know of. Maybe we can have our lunch there" suggested Arnav and noticed Khushi giving an unsure look at her clothes.
"You look beautiful in these" commented Arnav, reading her thoughts and she looked up to read the sincerity in his eyes and softly acknowledged the proposition with a nod.
"Good, for now we have to head to the conference for the meeting with Singhal's. You can sort the files and documents pertaining to the meeting while I sip my coffee" suggested Arnav and she nodded before starting with the work.
~~***~~
The meeting ended on good terms and as the day wore on, work kept Arnav occupied for a major portion of time.
He had hardly gotten any private time with Khushi as she had been busy bustling from one cabin to other running errands for no one but him.
As the second meeting of the day had started, Arnav was already feeling jaded and was looking forward for the third meeting so he could whisk her out of the office and have some 'us' time with her.
The second meeting went longer than the previous one or maybe it just felt so to Arnav as Khushi wasn't attending it and was busy proof reading the documents and files for the next meeting.
"Are you sure about this, Arnav?" asked Aman, as he barged in uninvited in Arnav's cabin who was preparing to leave for the next meeting while Khushi was already waiting outside to join him.
"Sure about what?" asked Arnav as he zipped his laptop bag to take it along.
"About me heading the Sharma & Sons project?" asked Aman, his brows scrunched together as if surprised.
"What's there to be sure about in it?" asked Arnav, giving a look at Aman.
"I mean weren't you planning to ask Akash to head that project? So why the sudden change in plans? Do you think I am not already working my ass off? Why do you want to bury me under more work that too without any pay-raise?" demanded Aman.
"Because I think Akash has been acting strange these days and besides he's not responsible enough" Arnav answered by the tone of his voice Aman knew Arnav was not up for any more discussion over it.
"Fine. But I want a raise" replied Aman before walking out of the cabin and Arnav shortly followed, ready to leave for the next meeting.
~~***~~
"Damn..! Can this get any worse?" muttered Aman as he continuously honked the horn of his car to get past the thick traffic jam at Laxminagar market.
"Hey, man! what's the matter there?" enquired Aman to a passer-by as the jam didn't show any signs of getting cleared off.
"A girl has fainted and people are talking about taking her to hospital" the man informed and took his way while Aman decided if he should go and have a look or should rather wait in his car.
Deciding that sitting in the car was of no use he got down and walked towards the area where people were standing in a perfect sphere and whispering to each other.
"We should call the police" a man was suggesting.
"No, that would make it a messy affair. We should call the ambulance"
"Give her water" someone from the crowd suggested but no one actually made a move.
The scene aggravated Aman to no bounds and he swiftly made a way out of the crowd and headed to the girl.
People gasped in surprise at his audacity as he slid an arm under the girl's legs and lifted her up in his arms.
"You people should grow some shame and humanity. A girl is lying unconscious here and all you guys can do it chatter?" shouted Aman, his voice full of disgust as he started walking towards his car.
"Make way" he shouted as the crowd stood still as rock and finally stepped back, giving way to him.
"Here let me" a woman walked towards him and opened the car door.
"Thank you" he answered before placing the girl in the passenger's seat and fastening the seat belt for her.
As he got in the car and drove off, his eyes leisurely fell upon her face.
Dressed in a simple pink and green chudidaar she looked like a beautiful flower that was just too crumpled at the moment and in need of some fresh dew drops.
The hair falling on her face obstructed his view and he realised he was ogling and quickly tore off his gaze from her face, now concentrating on the road ahead.
~~***~~
"What would you have, Khushi?" asked Arnav as he studied the concentrated face of Khushi who was going through the menu card for past three minutes.
"Sir..."she started but Arnav cut in.
"We aren't in the office, Khushi. Please allow me the pleasure of hearing you say my name" he stated with a teasing glint in his eye and Khushi flushed.
"Arnav... I am confused with the food. I haven't had this before and I...prefer vegetarian"
"Oh, why didn't you inform me earlier? We could have left this place after the meeting and would have headed to some vegetarian place. As simple as that." answered Arnav though his ears were still echoing with the sound of his name from her lips.
"Yeah I..."
"You have some place in mind?" asked Arnav, his eyes reading into the tentativeness of her face.
"Me? Yes..No..! I mean you wouldn't like it" replied Khushi.
"And why not? Do they serve shells and pebbles instead of food there?" asked Arnav, his eyes fixed upon her face and she smiled along with him.
"I meant it won't be as elegant as upto your taste"
"I can work with that" replied Arnav before leaving his chair and Khushi followed.
"Come on, lead the way" winked Arnav as she waited for him to start moving and her lips turned the shape of perfect O before she quickly worked it away.
~~***~~
"Are you her husband?" the question threw Aman off guard as he waited in the Gallery while the doctor checked the girl.
"No, doctor. I found her on the road. She had fainted and wouldn't wake up. So, I brought her here"
And couldn't attend the meeting I was heading to muttered Aman under his breath.
"How is she anyway?" asked Aman.
"She's okay now, had fainted because of exertion and her body was dehydrated too which is not good, either for her or the bany"
"Baby? You mean..?"
"Yes, she's pregnant of three months. Well, I am discharging her now. Here is the prescription, she would need these meds" the doctor handed him the prescription and exited.
"I am sure I am not going to be able to make it to the meeting" said Aman as he threw a cursory look at the list of medicines and as he looked up, his eyes refused to let go of the sight before him.
The girl was walking up to him with gratitude laden eyes and for a second, Aman couldn't look away from her. She was breathtaking.
"For God's sake, Aman Mathur! She could be married. Avert your gaze. Besides, you do know that women are pain-killers. They kill you with too much pain" he told himself just as she stopped before him.
"Payal" her voice wafted to his ears like the ring of a cluster of silver bells.
"Sorry, I just have this prescription. I didn't find your Payal. Must have dropped where you fainted. Was it costly? Don't worry, we can go and buy another one. Was it silver by the way? Silver would look good on you. I mean your voice too is like..."
"My name is Payal" he heard her cutting in and realised he was talking nonsense.
"Oh.."
"Thank you very much for the help. It was very kind of you to help me when people mostly choose to overlook. I would pay you the expenses you had to make. I just need sometime" she continued and Aman realised she was just as nervous as him.
"Hey, that's fine. You don't have to. It was what I would have done for anyone. Besides, I was simply being human. You know, Salman Bhai types?" Aman tried to laugh off the seriousness from the surrounding but it hung heavy.
"Do you want to call your husband?" Aman asked, deciding to change the topic.
"I..."
"We can walk and talk actually. We need to buy these medicines. The store is at the end of this gallery. Shall we?" asked Aman as he read uneasiness in her eyes and she nodded.
"My name is Aman Mathur and you can call me Aman"
"I am Payal"
"I think I remember" smiled Aman.
~~***~~
"I can't do it to him" she told herself, hiding her face in her palms.
"You have to, Khushi. There is no way out of this trap but this" she looked up at her reflection in the mirror and found it talking to her.
"How can I cheat him? It's clearly evident he loves me and the biggest thing, he trusts me" she retorted, knowing well at the end of this mental conflict, she was going to give up and do for what she was here.
"Then break his trust. The longer you will take, the more hurt you will cause him. Do it as soon as you can and get done with it" she heard herself and her eyes hardened into a cold look.
She was right, the sooner the better.
Steeling her resolve, she walked back to the table where Arnav was having his lunch and she found him waiting for her.
"You took long" He said.
"Arnav, you shouldn't do this" she said with an edgy voice and took her seat.
"Do what?"
"Be extra nice to me. I mean you're my boss and I am a worthless assistant. You should treat me such."
"Khushi, I thought we were over it. You know I like you and I want to be more than your boss"
"Let's eat" She replied, looking away from his hopeful eyes and dismissing the topic.
"You can't run away from me, Khushi. I won't let you" Arnav said to himself and Khushi as if having heard his words, looked up at him with a pained expression.
Once the lunch was done, they headed to the parking in complete silence.
They walked to the SUV and Khushi got in first, doing her seat belt and Arnav in the meantime got into the driver's seat.
Khushi turned her head to Arnav's side and gave him a confused look when he didn't start the SUV but continued gazing in her direction, his eyes unreadable.
"Arnav, shouldn't you drive now?" she asked, suddenly feeling a change in air as his gaze travelled to her lips.
"You do know that I am not letting you go Khushi, don't you?" she heard his deep voice reverberate in the confined space of the SUV.
"Arnav?"
"I want this to work, Khushi. I mean 'us'. I see you have some reservations and I have already told you that I am willing to wait but not if you try to aloof yourself from me. This is complicated between us. I have such strong feelings you and I can't name them, not yet. I want to be close to you but you wouldn't allow me. I am still waiting for you to reply to my question and all this while I want you beside me. I don't want you running away from me" she heard him pouring out his feelings before her, once again and that did nothing but worsen her situation.
"The sooner the better" she told herself and leaned in the space between them, letting her fingers brush the sides of his cheek.
"I promise this would all be over soon, Arnav" she confessed, her eyes holding his gaze and this time he leaned in to erase the little space and their lips met for a complicated kiss.
It spoke of longing, ache, love and several promises which were meant to be broken.
~~***~~
Arnav finally let go of her hand when they pulled into the parking of AR and walked towards the office.
Next few hours went smoothly with Khushi helping Arnav with his work and managing his calls and appointments.
When she finally had the time to throw a look at wall clock it was five already. The day was on the brink of expiring and she still had to get the papers signed.
The sooner the better.
Collecting the documents and putting them inside a file, she walked to Arnav's cabin and found him neck deep in a file.
"Khushi.. Thanks for coming. I was about to call you. Can you get these documents photocopied for me? I have to sign them urgently and then we can leave" she heard him speak in an officially polite tone and she nodded, hugging her file close to her heart.
"What's that you're clinging to?" she heard him chuckle as Arnav studied her gesture.
"Nothing, just few more documents which need to be to be photocopied" she replied and he nodded, getting back to the file he was studying.
~~***~~
"I know I am being a liability, Mr. Mathur. You seem a busy person and it's really shameful of me to hold you here. You should leave now. I'll manage the medicines" Payal addressed him with a barely-there smile as they reached to the drug store which was seated within the hospital premises, cut off from the main area.
"It's okay, Payal. You still look pale enough. Why don't we call your husband? I mean he should be taking care of you in such a condition" he replied with a good will while mentally cursing himself for not leaving already.
It was like a completely different personality had split out of him and it was refusing to hear him.
He wondered what he was still doing here with this girl who clearly seemed in daze and well...stressed about something.
"I am sorry, Mr. Mathur but I am going to be rude. I am grateful that you helped me out but can you please keep my supposed husband out of this matter? I am strong enough to take care of myself and if you're still here because you're worried if I'd return you the money you spent upon me, you can leave your card with me. I'll contact you as soon as I have the money" he heard the heated voice which he hadn't imagined she could manage as she looked too delicate for it.
Nonetheless, he was offended by her words.
So much for 'being human'.
"You're right, Miss Payal. I helped you in the first place because I was too eager to spend my hard earned money on you and then worry about how to get it out of you. I think I'd leave now. Thank you for the considerate words. I won't forget them" Aman replied in his barely contained fury and stormed off, not forgetting to shove the prescription in Payal's hands before doing so.
As he hurried out in anger, his hands still tinged with soft touch of her skin against his rough hands.
The touch was something and so was she but this something was not enough to undo the way she talked to him.
Women are a pain to deal with and especially the pregnant ones. Mention of their husbands makes them jumpy. He took a mental note of it.
"I wonder how Akash deals with so many girlfriends. The man has some real talent for enduring their tantrums" was Aman's after-thought.
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