Chapter 10

The world breaks everyone, and afterward many are stronger at the broken places.

- Ernest Hemingway

"How come you didn't ask why the Magician is a male and not, a female?"

The question was suggestive in a lot different ways. While one part of her brain, the cop part which loves to solve puzzle and goes after criminals based on barely there clues was already tearing apart the words, the rest of her body and soul can only chant one thing.

No. No. NO NO NO!

"I don't understand." She answered flatly to his earlier question, but it sounded pathetic even in her own ear. No wonder even Rahane looked disappointed.

"You don't, or you don't want to?" He retorted, exhaling slowly, "You can already feel it, can't you?"

She looked away, her left foot tapping impatiently midair.

"You really want me to spell it out for you?" The otherwise sharp words had no heat. She would go as far as to say he was being gentle to soften the blow, "It's him. The Magician."

"No." She whispered quietly.

"He is back, is not he? He never died." He exhaled once again, "Don't you think his timing is spectacularly co-incidental to everything that's going on around us?"

This time, she looked up with fresh anger, "No." She repeated, this time her voice forceful. Getting up from her seat in a flash, she raised her voice an octave, "What you think is wrong. The Magician, or whoever the hell you are chasing you right now, it's not him. I don't know how . . . "

"I tell you how." Rahane interrupted her, "While he was being recruited, Magician was directly in touch with Nasir and Haqqani. Haqqani never met him, but Nasir was constantly in touch with him. He was the one who helped him to come onboard, leave his former life, get settled in a new place. Neel Sahaay's death investigation . . . "

"Don't you dare." She threatened, lowering her voice.

" . . . led you directly to Johny, and to Nasir when all other roads were closed." He went on, "Tell me it never crossed your mind, because I know it had. Or else you would not be so hyped up right now."

"I am hyped up?" She glared, "You are sitting there and making all these assumptions in air . . ."

"It's not assumptions." Rahane also got up on his feet, "All roads led to this one point."

"It's a ton of horseshit." She replied stubbornly, crossing arms over chest. They stood there in silence, glaring at each other.

After a few beat, Rahane opened his mouth once again, "He contacted you, right?"

"How . . . " She trailed off, the next moment her eyes steeled, "Director told you?"

"Commissioner Ram." He answered, "I didn't just come here with speculations, Riya. I have evidences."

"No. What you have is bunch of circumstantial evidences and co-incidences."

"Okay." He nodded once, "So how you explain his sudden appearance then?"

She had no answer to that.

"Why he faked his death? Why he never contacted you? Why he is here now? Why he needs your help to escape country?"

"He said . . . " She started, but he cut her off.

"Yeah, bad guys were after him. Putting himself in front of you as a victim." He ran fingers through hair before starting again, "You know how Nasir got wind of Magician?"

She stared wordlessly.

"Some years ago, there was a coding competition in City. 9 people from various corner of city participated in that. The venue of the competition, any guess?" He gave a twisted smirk just as she gulped.

"Googly. An Internet cafe in the heart of city. He was a frequent there, was not he?"

Slowly, she kept both of her palms on the backrest of the chair she was seated in, silently bracing herself.

"And the winner was a participant, with the code name, The Magician." He let out the final blow. "The staff of Googly still remember his face, because he was so frequent there."

Her grip tightened as she closed her eyes.

"It's him." Rahane stated unnecessarily, letting out all cards on table, "Neel Sahaay was involved with Nasir and Haqqani. Willingly. He is the Magician, the code maker, a mastermind of their mission."

She shook her head repeatedly, disagreeing with him at the same time trying to block his words.

"We need your help, Riya. If he had contacted you, that's only means he has no idea that you know about his involvement in this whole mess. We need to take the chance and trap him, it might be our only way." He went on, the expression urgent.  

The next moment she straightened her back, turned on her wheels and stormed out of the room without another word, the door shaking behind her wake.

Director Kapoor ran after her as she signaled Agent Rahane to stop where he was. She caught the ACP near the stairs where she was descending two steps a time.

"Riya . . . "

"I need to be alone." Came the hurried, out of breath reply.

"But . . .

"Dammit Aisha!" Riya stopped, her whole frame shaking, "That Man dropped some bombs on me. I need time to freak out, okay?"  Blinking, she gulped once, and for a moment the former thought she wanted to say something, but then she started descending once again, thinking running is better than talking.

Rahane was in bullpen by the time she walked in and she cursed. Her eyes met Sameer who had one hand on Rawte's shoulder, physically stopping him from moving and asking questions from a corner.

"Director." Rahane sounded drained as he sighed, "She just . . . "

"It was a lot to take." She replied, putting one hand in air to stop him, "She will come around. You will know."

"We don't have much time."

"Then start the preparation."

He frowned, "How are you so sure that she will help us?"

She looked around her office as she spoke, taking in the daily ordeal of the place, "If there is one thing I am fairly certain, is that she always takes full responsibility of her actions. And Neel Sahaay, whatever mess he created, is her responsibility in her mind. She will clear it up, even if she has to walk through fire and burn herself." She met his surprised eyes, "Go and make plans, Agent. She will contact you soon."

As he walked out of building, the Director wondered to what length her friend will go this time to move past the mess that monster created in his wake.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

As if the scene in the discussion room in mid-day was not enough, to intrigue and worry the ETFians further, Raghu sir dropped in unexpectedly after a few hours just as Shree and Chotu along with Liza was talking near the IT expert's desk.

"The guards near Director's cabin saw her taking off." Chotu was saying.

"We didn't see her leave." Shree frowned in confusion, as the elevator can be seen directly from the bullpen.

"She must have taken the stairs." Liza chimed in, to which Chotu nodded, confirming her theory, "But what exactly happened between them?"

"I think another person was present with them. She was very angry and mentioning some man. Director looked like she knew who it was." Chotu replied to her query, rubbing his face with one hand so the words came out muffled, "I've never seen her so . . . "

"Distressed?" Shree supplied timidly, worried himself, while the Forensic head looked between the two back and forth.

"Was it that bad?"

"Understatement of century." Shree confessed, the next moment groaned as his eyes fell on someone, "Brace yourself for round two."

In response to his remark, the duo looked at the direction he was staring. Chotu mimicked Shree's face-palm expression, as Liza looked confused.

"Is he here because of what happened a few hours back?" She asked unsure.

"Wanna bet?" Chotu remarked just as Director Kapoor moved to greet the old Man.

The Director and Police Commissioner moved toward their respective seat.

"You look like hell." Raghu sir commented at Aisha's face which looked like she aged 5 years in a span of few hours, "That bad, huh?"

"Rahane went to you before he came to me. Could you have at least informed me so I could, you know, prepare myself?" Aisha asked in frustration, pursuing lips in a thin line.

"You think any amount of preparation could have ready you?" He retorted, "I spent 20 years in this service, have seen countless manipulative basta*ds and devils. But the shock value of this thing just blew me off." His eyes harden.

The door of Director's cabin opened and Sameer entered, Arjun in tow, weariness evident in their eyes. The entry of their senior is never a good thing, if past experience is anything to go by.

"Good afternoon, Sir." Arjun greeted quietly as the duo took their seats.

"Nothing is good about this day, let alone afternoon Rawte." Raghu sir replied in a gruff voice. Glancing sideways at Aisha, he took a deep breath before opening his mouth.

"The thing I am going to say, just listen to it first and react later." He started. The trio sat up straight at the words.

"ETF is going to handle the manhunt for Neel Sahaay along with IB."

They gave a look at each other, shock evident in their faces. Sameer gave a look of betrayal toward Aisha who raised her hand in air, a universal sign of surrender.

"Hey, don't look at me." She said in mock surprise, giving a look of contempt to Raghu sir, "Nobody tells me a thing nowadays."

"Can you save your sarcasm for later?" Raghu sir snapped, making her blink, "It's bloody serious."

"I know." She tried to calm herself down, "But our handling the case along with them doesn't seem like good advice."

"So you are perfectly alright to leave her alone?" He made a show of buttoning his suit, like he was about to leave, "I wasted my time to arrive here, in that case."

Before she could reply, Arjun spoke up with barely held annoyance, "What are you two talking about, may I ask, Sir?"

The Commissioner gave a look to Aisha at the question, who looked away. "You didn't tell them?"

Without waiting for her reply, he turned to look at the males, "A few days back, Agent Rahane came to me. You know him, right?"

The duo nodded.

"They are interrogating Haqqani and got some hints about a mission they are planning in India. Linking a few dots, they have pin pointed a potential suspect and now after him."

"Neel Sahaay?" Sameer asked, incredulous, "He is involved?"

"According to them. They presented some solid evidence which we can't overlook. Of course, there is whole faking death thing hanging over Sahaay. If he is innocent and nothing to do with Haqqani, he needs to have a hell of explanation to pull something like that off." Raghu sir paused, "Nonetheless, they are going after him. Rahane came to me and in between conversation I let Sahaay's current state slip. He put two and two and figured he must have contacted Riya."

"He now wants her help." Arjun spoke, his voice growly, his eyes shifting toward the Director, "He came here today, didn't he?"

She nodded in response.

"Is she ready to help him?" He asked. Aisha rubbed her temple.

"She will."

"How are you so sure?" Sameer wondered.

"Let's just say its years of experience." Raghu sir dismissed the question, now turning toward Aisha, "So, are you all in or she have to deal with it all by herself?"

She didn't reply, and he released a frustrated breath.

"I know dealing with IB is never a pretty thing. If I could, I would not have let them drag her or any of you into this giant mess." He gave them pointed look to emphasize, "But I am helpless in this matter. I was helpless the moment Haqqani came to picture. They will pressurize me to win your loyalty, but I am not here to pressure you. I am here to tell you to jump in and have one of your team mate's back. National Security doesn't care about a person and her suffering. There need to be some part of her left when all of this is over." He soften his voice, "You stuck by her all these time. It's the darkest of period. Save her."

The trio looked at each other for the longest time.

"There is no choice to make." Arjun was the first to look away, his voice bitter yet determined.

"Damn right." Sameer agreed. Aisha sighed.

"You heard them." She waved her hand in air as Raghu sir gave barest of smile.

"I appreciate it." He stood up, "They will contact you and bring you on board." Eyeing the trio, he spoke, "Good luck."

After he left, Aisha started pacing back and forth, pinching the bridge of her nose occasionally.

"Who is this Neel Sahaay?" Sameer muttered, "He is creating havoc in our lives, literally."

"Only child, hacker extraordinaire, babble king, lover of rock and roll." Aisha replied without missing a beat, "At least, that's the man we both knew. Now?" She stopped, lowering her voice, "Maybe she was right. We both knew a ghost. Maybe he never existed, at least not the version he presented to us."

"Did you ever sense . . . " Arjun started, but stopped as Aisha's gaze fell on him.

"That he will turn out criminal mastermind? No." She started pacing again, "He was ambitious. Wanted to do something big. Government jobs were not his cup of tea. He used to make fun of us two, said we were wasting our skills." She gave a humorless smirk, "Looks like he found a nice way to utilize his skills."

"Maybe he was misled." Sameer offered gently.

Her voice shook as she replied, "You didn't see the evidences Rahane showed me." She pinched her nose again, "It seemed like Nasir found him in one of those hackathons he used to participate. The preparation to fake his death went on for months." Pausing, she added, "According to Haqqani, this Magician, the code name for this hacker who IB is suspecting as him, made major changes in their mission. Became some sort of a legend among them." She exhaled a breath, "He was a brilliant man. A master coder."

"Don't you think we are missing something here?" Sameer said after a while, looking between the pacing Director and his friend who was sitting stiff beside him, "It all looks like bunch of circumstantial evidence. Too many co-incidences, but maybe it's what actually is. How can we even trust Haqqani? That guy sent shooters after IB deputy just to teach them a lesson. Vengeance is the only thing he understands. Maybe he is trapping this Magician, thinking why he should be the only one who goes down."

"And him?" Aisha asked.

"Maybe Nasir did recruit him. But why we are thinking he was guilty? Who knows, they may have threatened him. After Haqqani's arrest their mission went to hell, and Sahaay is smart. He may have gotten a chance to escape."

"And contacted her." Arjun added his two cent, his voice never rising. Sameer nodded.

"It had to be a shocker. And now this. I don't condemn her to jump into conclusion and detach herself. We all know how troubled she was after you were shot." His voice clouded slightly, but he carried on, clearing his throat, "Her judgment could not be its usual self."

"She was so sure of his lies." Arjun recalled.

"Because he was lying. He could not tell her the whole picture, can he?" The former asked rhetorically. "Of course, the only way we can all get answers is by catching him."

Aisha looked like she was contemplating his points, but Arjun's anger rose.

"So supposedly, even after helping Haqqani, he is a good guy?" He asked with heat in voice.

"I am just saying," Sameer answered cautiously, taking in his friend's expression, "he might be the one who was trapped. We are seeing one side of story here. There might be another angle."

Arjun gave a twisted smirk, "Why, don't you sound like Sakshi?"

Aisha frowned at his tone while Sameer hurried to explain, "Hey now, don't make me the guilty here. I am just saying there might be something we are missing."

"How come your counter-argument didn't come after we came to know that he was alive?"

"Because we didn't have these bombs dropped on us that time. We didn't know the full story then, we don't know now."

"And yet you are giving him benefit of doubt."

"I think you need to control yourself." Aisha used her stern voice, eyes narrowing. Arjun clenched his fist on his lap, fixing his jaw.

"We were supposed to have her back. And we can't even agree with her." He stated after a few beats passed, his facial expression sour. Before either of the two can say anything to his remark, he was out of his chair, crossing the room in a few strides, the door ringing as he slammed it behind him.

 Aisha stared at the door for a long time as silence descended upon them, "He is taking this with a lot more intensity than I have imagined."

"Are you surprised?" Sameer leaned on his seat, slightly exhausted, "I can't be the only one who is seeing it."

"I see it." She turned her neck to look at him, "Since when?"

"Feels like forever." He replied, "One moment they were out for each other's blood. The next thing I know, he is smitten." He chuckled after a few seconds.

"Did you notice it? Each time Raghu sir grace us with his presence, we have some kind of fall out. Earlier it was you and her, this time me and him."

She smiled a little and took the chair which Arjun occupied before, "You two will be okay, I hope?"

"Oh, don't worry." He brushed aside her concern, "He will grunt, have shouting matches. Then he will be okay." He grinned, "I have the patience of a saint."

"Anything that helps you be at peace." She humored him. His smile faded with time, becoming serious once again.

"You were not too willing to let us work on this case." He tilted his head, "Why?"

Aisha sighed, letting her head fall on the backrest of the chair, "We are a Task Force which is formed so that we can work with Police to fast forward cases. We take over cases which are either too easy, or just stuck because department made silly mistakes on it." Looking at him, she went on, "We work to catch criminals, not Devils."

His eyes widen slightly.

"IB, National Security, criminal mastermind from across the borders, we don't deal with things like this. It's too high for us. We are the people who solve cases so that people have a certain closure, not have meetings with Ministers and plan infiltrating terrorist groups."

"You make it sound like we are normal." Sameer responded.

"Because we are." She replied, sighing, "By God's wish, somehow we have become a part of something which is way above our league. I just don't want to continue this. Don't want us to be a target because high level people are dealing with big things. Don't want us to be collateral damage." She voiced her worry, "Like Raghu sir said, these people don't care about person or emotion. I don't want our team, us, him or her to have anything to do with it."

"But you were not letting her deal with this alone, were you?" He frowned.

"Is not she dealing with them way before we have even gotten wind of it?" She inquired, "She never said a word, but it's all implied. Who know how far their partnership went?"

"That was different." Sameer defended, "That was about her seeking revenge."

"And now it's about . . . closure? Responsibility? Guilt? Maybe all of them?" She stared into a corner of her cabin, "Once, she said to me the reason she doesn't want me in her mess is maybe because she is already too far. If that's true, and I can't pull her back, then the least I can do is to make sure I don't lose my team too in the process."

 He squeezed her hand softly.

"But one thing I can do." Her voice rose and some heat came back in her eyes, "I can help to catch that asshole, pull him by collar and demand some answers. If it's not satisfactory, I can kick him in groin."

Sameer grinned, "Don't leave without me to do that."

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Agent Vir Rahane didn't move an inch as the car pulled several hundred meters away from him. He was too busy to stare at the grave, his hands inside his suit's pocket, his mind blank.

Jackson Horatio Harper. Loving Son and Brother.

Though nothing can bring back the hour

Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;

We will grieve not, rather find

Strength in what remains behind

A footstep came near him, crumbling dry leaves under its feet as it went on. It halted right by him, the person mimicking his position.

"A friend?" ACP Mukherjee asked quietly. He shook his head.

"It's my future." He answered, "Ten, twenty years down the line. Or maybe tomorrow." Blinking once, he added, "It's every one of us future."

A strong brush of wind blew their dresses and leaves on the ground, giving the graveyard a sinister effect in the dead of night.

"Death is coming for all of us." He looked at her, "It's up to us how we make our living hours count." He gave a meaningful look as she stared hard at the gravestone.

"How he died?"

"Delhi." He looked back toward the grave, "His body rotted for a full month before we could hand it over. His family thinks he died in African desert." He fixed his jaw, "All of their family knows the same story. They all died and only I was left behind."

This time, she looked at him.

"And I will damn well make sure that their death, and my living counts." He met her gaze, "With, or without your help." He vowed, "But I want you because I am so tired of the wait. I need full answers, not speculations. Only Neel Sahaay can give me that."

She stared back at the grave with a blank expression, speaking up after a long time.

"The moment I pursued this, it only managed to blow up in my face." Her words came out in whisper, "It happened again and again. I could take the heat for myself, but with time, people associated themselves with it. Raghu sir, Aisha, my informers, you." This time, she looked at him.

"I can't take the heat for all of them."

He turned his body slightly so that he was fully facing her, a small frown visible in the dark of night.

"You want them away?"

"No." She replied, "They are already too deep, and they won't back off." She blinked once in regret, exhaling slowly, "I want their protection. If this thing goes south, no harm should come to them." Stopping, she thought for a moment, and then added, "And Hydrabad can't be involved or mentioned, under any circumstances. They are off limits."

"We can protect them." He answered with confidence. Something flashed in her eyes.

"You better." She warned quietly, "Or else, you will find neither him, nor me, National Security be damned. Remember, I went off grids for 3 years and resurfaced only when I wanted to. Neel Sahaay is not the only person who can go dark."

"Is that mean . . . "

"I am in." She replied, taking out her hand which he shook slowly, nodding repeatedly.

"Then we have a deal."

There are times when the mind is dealt such a blow it hides itself in insanity. While this may not seem beneficial, it is. There are times when reality is nothing but pain, and to escape that pain the mind must leave reality behind.

-Patrick Rothfuss

Helplessness is a shitty feeling.

Couple it with empathy and it's a deadly combination. Or maybe its sympathy, or whatever it is that makes one acutely aware of someone else's suffering, almost feeling every one of those emotion that someone might be feeling at any given time. Or maybe no word has been made up to sum that feeling up.

Arjun was not a person with a large vocabulary. He prefers action to words, always had. One of the reason he was in this career is because in early in his life, he realized words are empty. Politicians with their promises of rosy future had no meaning. If we want things to change, we might as well do something about it.

He was 12, and like every Sunday morning he had arrived at the beach with his grandfather to stroll in the shores. But that Sunday was different. His grandpa's feet had abruptly stopped, and when he raised his face to look at the old man, his face was white as sheet.

As white as the actual sheet draped over the dead body of a teenage girl they had found and informed the police about. On the ride back home, he didn’t say a word. But in evening, he did hear his grandpa and parents talking about worsening crime records in city, while his Mother complained how a public place like Beach is not safe for anyone.

That incident left a permanent mark in his soul.

So he preferred to do something, a small insignificant part in the large working of Universe to make sure people were safe, that those who were wronged get justice. That was the reason once upon a time he had jumped upon a criminal from a two storied building, stopping him from getaway.

But he is also a protective person. Before diving head first into things, he always makes sure his team remains safe. As safe they could be in their course of work.

His usual way of life changed when she arrived. If he comes to think of it, every one of their lives did. She was an enigma. Her silence spoke louder than her actual words. When she shared bits of her life, it increased more curiosity than filling the gap of questions. He was so used to people listening to him, because he was the damn leader and authority only second to Director. She not only mocked it, but challenged him in every step, blatantly disregarding any authority she ever came across. When he screamed, she used her quiet angry voice, when he pushed, she pushed right back, when he asked her questions, she would say 'None of your business' right on his face. She was not someone who took anything without asking Why.

But she was a paradox in her own. For all her straightforwardness, her demeanor held secrets. Her eyes mocked the world, cynical in everything, but anything wrong and it bothered her. She didn't care for anyone, but she had a fierce protectiveness for her team. She was a strong woman, physically and verbally able to hold her own, her emotions never slipping to show her vulnerability, but the same woman listened to his ideals which were idiotic the way she sees the world without mocking him for it.

He was never good at words, but most of time he said her something, he always left them ambiguous. Let her interpret them the way she wants to. He doesn't know if she twisted them somehow or slowly started to see the world like he did.

Which was impossible, really. He didn't leave his family behind and stayed in a city full of stranger. He didn't resign when his lover died so that he can embark on a journey to avenge her. Neither did he stay in a place filled with criminals so that he can recruit people to give him information. From bits and pieces she told them, which felt like a lifetime ago, he came to realize the stubborn, sassy creature is not someone who is overly arrogant of her skills, however right that will be. It’s because she has seen too much and lost her faith in a lot of things.

Arjun was never one for nostalgia. He didn't believe in hanging on to past. But in that moment, he wished he had some kind of time travel machine so that he can go back and part and erase parts of her life which would hurt her so badly in unforeseeable future.

What else can be worse than your love of life dying? If someone had asked him this 2 months ago, he would have said nothing. Apparently, a lot of things can be worse than that. Like the said lover returning to city, faking his death for a shady reason, and becoming a suspect of nationwide secret terrorist mission which he 'revolutionized'. The disgust he feel is next to the rage he fills at the betrayal. Like it had happened to him somehow.

If he takes into the earlier nameless feeling, maybe in a way, he was betrayed. Maybe the reason he was blowing off steam and reacting in a strong way, making Sameer worry, is because she is not. She is the center of it all, the person who is facing all the heat and She. Is. Not. Reacting. How is she not, he doesn't know.

It worried him, her unnatural calmness.

During her 'Revenge seeking days', for the better lack of words, she was a bounce of energy. If things went to her way, a smug and satisfied look will grace her feature. If nothing went like she wanted, or she had to wait for something, she will be grumpy, tap her feet in restlessness, drive everyone crazy with her anticipation. He used to pick up what was going on with her solely based on her actions. The day she called for that meeting and revealed about her personal mission and how she is done with it, all of those signs vanished, because there was no need for them. There was no anticipation, no sneaking out, no overworking of mind to keep her both worlds separate. Her struggle to grasp this new situation could be seen sometime in her eyes, when she tried to get back to her usual self, sarcasm, devil-may-care attitude. There were cracks, and though it hurt to see her lost some time, he was relieved. She was dealing with the fall out and coming out of it.

Three days had passed since Rahane graced her secretly in ETF office and she skipped the rest of day after that. 3 days and countless hours since Raghu sir informed them to handle Sahaay's manhunt along with IB. He had left 5 voice mails ranging from angry to anxious to pleading, and countless missed calls in her phone, to hear her voice and know she was, physically at least, was alright. She never picked them up, and when she came the next day, she didn't mention those messages.

He was not sure who came in the next day, but that was not ACP Riya Mukherjee they all have come to know in last one year and few months. Not even when she was at her lowest.

She was so cold, so detached, like it's a new team she is working with. In the earlier days, when she drove him crazy with her flippancy and he wanted her to show who's the Boss, she had struck a chord with team. He was shocked to know that almost everyone seemed to like her and welcomed her in team except him. When the team was unfamiliar to her, she didn't let it bother her, effortlessly fitting and working with them like she was already there. Like there was a place left for her without the team even realizing it. Even though she was more of a One-woman army, he used to hate that about her.

This ACP Mukherjee, Riya, was completely shut down. Standing beside them like she is just another employee and not an intimate part of team. Discussing case theories and fate of suspects like it's nothing. No mirth lurking in eyes, no mocking comment, no subtle compliments to any of them. Even when they finished each other's sentences, there was no familiar spark, just work.

And it was never work with her. It was adrenaline, an excitement. A sensation to outsmart the guilty. Challenge casually thrown at each other to see who will prove right. For all seriousness, the work seemed fun, worth spending night hours in 2 day old dress and damaging heart with coffee in office, even though there was no change in the latest case they had in hand.

 If this was her way to deal with things, than he wished she would have headed straight for compartmentalization. Or never deal with it. Because this was not the person they have come to know and care for. This was not the person he . . .

Stop. This was not the time to go there. Not now.

He ran harder, pushing a couple of buttons on the trade mill. The only sound echoed in the gym of ETF was his panting.

He had joined rest of team near Shree's desk later than he would usually do, after taking a long shower and calming down himself so that he can face her. Everyone gave him a look, except her.

For some reason, her cold exterior felt like she was punishing them for something they were not guilty of.

The case of late actor had no further evidence, making it dangerously close to shutting down. If they did, they won't hear the end of it, thanks to their in house crime journo who took this whole crush thing seriously, shooting them accusing eyes each time they came up with empty hands like it's their damn fault. He was trying to act like she is not visible in his peripheral vision, but when she irritates him like this, all he wants to do is bite her head off and scream on top of his lungs.

Shree was going through the actor's last calls, which he already did thousand times and found nothing. Everyone was saying bits and piece in between, and with annoyance Arjun realized the only people not talking is him, and the ACP to whom he was busy staring. She stood there like a bloody robot, like she will only move when someone commands her something.

He clamped his jaw shut and focused on the keypad of Shree's computer, watching his fingers flying over it.

"You know." Sameer started, drawing everyone's eyes on him, "I think we should bring in the Producer one more time and ask questions. There is something off about that guy."

"He just lost the lead actor right before his film's release. The tears are because of that, if you mean that by 'off'." Sakshi spoke with bitterness.

"But he doesn't have any reason to kill him." Chotu argued, "That will be insane."

"Or incredibly smart." Riya spoke for the first time, her usual dry tone sounding flat out uninteresting and empty, "Dead lead actor will surely help his movie to become blockbuster. It's all about money."

Sakshi gasped, "That's a horrible thing!" Whether it's the former's theory, or the possibility of the act itself, she didn't emphasize, her face scandalous shade of red. The ACP looked away, no emotion could be make up on her face be it exasperation, or irritation. There was a time he would have seen the eye roll and would bit his tongue to laugh out.

Those times are gone.

Amidst the discussion, she got a call which was obviously on vibration as they didn't hear a ringtone. By the time she returned, they decided to bring in the Producer. Arjun was still partially hunched over Shree's desk when she returned.

"Shree." The IT expert looked up in surprise, "That app you installed to block unknown numbers?"

He nodded, "You want me to modify it?" He inquired. She exhaled, blinking hard once before the indifferent mask was pulled over her face again.

"Remove it."

His nostrils flared at the words, because it had to do something with their 'Manhunt'. Everything that is happening around them feels like IB's doing, like the ETF and the lives of them are at mercy of the mighty Intelligence agency. Like they are puppets.

Shree seemed to come at the same conclusion after a few seconds and a look of understanding fell on his face. Silently, he took the phone from her, already on work.

When she walked away, he followed her this time.

He caught her in the hallway, spinning her towards him.

"What is the matter with you?" He demanded in his semi loud voice. She stared at him with a flicker confusion flashing in her eyes.

"What I did?" She inquired.

Driving me crazy. He wanted to say, but said instead, "You are shutting us down! Detaching yourself. Like somehow we are the one responsible for everything!" He waved his free hand in air to emphasize, tightening his grip on her wrist, "I admit things had worsen since you talked to Rahane, but you need to stop and go over it. Deal with the facts."

"This is me dealing with it." She took a step toward him, simultaneously making his breath hitch in throat and frustrating him further.

"That's not what it looks like." He lowered his voice and somehow it came out as growl.

"What you want me to do then? Lash out at you all? Throws things?"

"Maybe. At least I would know you are reacting to stuff and not compartmentalizing."

"Then you will be sorely disappointed." For the first time in three days, he was graced with her mocking smirk, but now it was directed at him and it looked a lot ugly, "Because I am done reacting over that Man and his mess. I refuse to sink myself further."

He understood her, but God, she needs to understand from where is coming, "You are giving us cold shoulder." He dropped his voice, his eyes closed as he went on, "Acting nonchalance. But you don't need to appear okay, because nobody expects you to. It's okay to let yourself break down. If you are not doing that in front of us, then you are reacting to it when you are alone." His eyes pleaded for her to understand.

"Okay." She whispered softly, "I get it."

Hallelujah!

"You think I might drink myself to death or start committing suicide acts." Her voice went dead quiet.

"Damn it, Riya!" He cursed loudly, taking a step back, releasing her wrist.

"Oh, bring the breath analyzer. Also some blood test kits. Can't rule out drugs, they are too obvious." She mocked him further.

"I didn't mean that and you know it!" He stabbed a finger at her direction, his eyes blazing, "Stop putting words in my mouth."

Her jaw moved, a retort ready, but she didn't say anything, choosing to stay silent instead for which he was thankful. She had this intense hold on him, riling him up in a flash of second. He didn't want that right now.

Sighing loudly, he lowered his voice, "All I am saying, is that regardless of the circumstances, you are not alone. You never were." His eyes never left hers, putting all his sincerity in words he knew was inadequate, but still had to convey, "You don't have to take it on yourself. Let us all share it."

He was no good with words, but with her, this was the only way he could express.

She met his gaze, her earlier stubbornness slowly melting away with each passing second. She exhaled slowly what felt like eternity, closing her eyes, like a weight had moved from her shoulder. He was relieved at her changed demeanor.

"I apologize." He blinked at her words, because when she ever did that? She opened her eyes and looked at him once again.

"I apologize if you or anyone in the team think I am punishing you for something. I am not. My coldness, or detachment, it has nothing to do with you." She spoke with deep seriousness, and he nodded at her words, "It's the only way I could deal with . . . things at this moment." She struggled to give a word to the messed up situation and piles of revelation. Before either he or she could drown into it, she shook her head, physically forcing herself to move on, in a way forcing him as well.

"You don't have to worry." She took a step back, and in that moment he realized during one point his fingers had found her wrist again, his thumb on her pulse point, his gaze falling to their linked hands, "I will be out of your hair soon."

The momentary peace was gone as he looked up at her sharply, the anger rising once again.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Before she could answer, someone interrupted them.

"Hey you two."

Her head snapped toward the intruder, but he didn't look away from her. Couldn't.

"The Producer is at airport, we are going to get him." The intruder paused, and then Arjun realized who the voice belong to. Sameer.

"You coming?" He inquired.

"We are." Riya answered for the both of them, glancing at him once, which he returned. With heat, He hoped. She detangled her wrist from his grip, which had turned vice like by this time. She took a few step back slowly, then turned, quickening her step to meet the Senior Officer.  Sameer, on his part, chose to wisely keep quiet in that moment.

He did went, they did capture the producer who threatened to sue the entire department for stopping him from leaving, they did drag him in ETF interrogation kicking and screaming, and jointly he and Sameer did make him break down and confess his crimes. It was an entirely different thing that half the time his mind was not on work, and he came across rather aggressive during interrogation. Way more than necessary, one may argue, but not Sakshi who wiped her remaining tears and declared he deserved a kick in ass. Jerk, she said.

He never really sat down and categorized the harmful qualities occurred to all of them after ACP Mukherjee entered their lives, but boy, if there was a time it will be now. Maybe he should really open MS word and write it down point to point, as ridiculous as it sounds.

He didn't know about others, but his emotions were not in his control the moment she walked in. It used to be a relatively simple life, get up in work, catch bad guys, go back to apartment and sleep. The whole process will repeat itself for months and years, and although it sound boring, it was not. He had this ideal to clean up the streets of city and each day he contributed to that aim in his life. Of course, like everything, she had to mess up that delicately arranged routine he had for years. Not only she drove him to insanity to amusement to exasperation in a few second, but the layers of secrets and vague, double meaning crap started to happen around them. Because of the secrets, he often found himself zoned away from the work at hand and think what she is up to. Which turned out to be a bad idea, as he got no clue to her works his imagination ran wild. It reached up to a point that whenever she stepped out, he couldn't stop himself to think about her. Not that he didn't when she was present near him.

His relatively simple life turned upside down with her arrival.

And now, she drove him past the point of insanity and fury, where he literally wanted to pull his hair out and throw things at walls. Something he never did, ever, in his life, always finding a way to release his pent up frustration on boxing dummy. Will she ever stop dropping bombs on his head, for God's sake? Did she have to go ahead and say those awful words which made his head swirling for hours?

But then, she doesn't believe in God.

A knock followed by footsteps entering his cabin snapped him out, but not enough to look up at whoever had entered. He was just so content to drive himself up the wall like a masochist.

"You alright?" Like earlier, it was Sameer again. What's with him today sneaking up on him at his worst moments?

"No Sam, I am not okay." He barely used that name, but somehow it came out. The next moment the pencil between his fingers snapped in two.

"Okay." The former drawled, clearly taken aback at his friend's unnatural stillness, "What's it all about?"

"Don't want to talk about it." He replied harshly. He heard shuffling of clothes and imagined his friend crossing arms over chest and giving him 'The Look'.

"Well, your new expression of anger seemed to be borrowed from Riya, so I am just going to take a wild guess here." The Senior officer commented snarkily. Arjun threw the now torn-in-half pencil in the corner of his desk with fingers, clenching his jaw tightly.

"Is this about her behavior from past few days?"

"Oh no." His lips twisted into an ugly smirk, now looking up to his friend who gazed at him in concern, "I am over that. We had that talk you know, where we shout at each other and somehow still able to get sensible answers out of it. She didn't even use her trademark 'None of your damn business' which sound a lot like 'Screw you'. Nope, it's not about that."

It's about her talk of not having around after shit is over and his old reaction coming back, this time increasing tenfold. It's about him wishing nothing gets fixed, that they don't get Neel Sahaay if that means she will be here, as idiotic as that sounds.

For all the crap she put them through, he can't bring himself to regret ever knowing her.

"Then?" Sameer asked cautiously.

He wanted to say, really wanted to rant to someone and let out all the pent up frustration brewing inside him for hours, but he didn't.

He pressed his lips and exhaled loudly, "It's nothing."

Sameer sighed, "Look, I know I am not your favorite person right now, but it looks like you need someone to talk to. I am here." He took a seat, not letting it go away, "So talk."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

His eyes moved around in his office, like the words are hanging in air for him to reach out, "Because sometime, no matter how much we want to talk about something, we can't. Not even to our best friend for years." He soften his tone, tilting his head a bit, "It's not about us. It's about the person it's related. The matter seems too private, too intimate to discuss out loud, no matter who the person is sitting opposite you."

"About a person who is too special." Sameer gave a grin which he matched, yet the former's eyes were scrutinizing him. He looked away again.

"You are not going to say anything I don't already know." He spoke quietly, at the end of sentence meeting his friend's eyes. Sameer's eyes openly searched for something and he let him. The former blinked, the grin widening now and taking a different turn.

"No. I don't think I would." He agreed, "But I don't understand the expression on your face. Is that what giving up looks like? I have never seen it on your face."

Arjun leaned back on his chair, tapping on desk which he was sure, had picked from Riya, "That day Raghu sir said us to stand beside her. To save her." Tapping once, twice, thrice, he continued, "How do you save a person who don't want to be saved?"

"This path never promised you roses and lilies Juno." Sameer replied.

"I know that." He responded almost immediately, the earlier anger coming back, "I was not blind. God, I felt like I was the only one seeing properly what she was when you all seemingly welcomed her with no problem."

"And what did you see? Apart from the authority issues?"

"Flawed." He replied after a beat.

"And damaged." Sameer's word made his head snap up, "To some extent, broken too."

The words made him hopeless, "So is that it? She is too broken to save?"

"I guess here is where you both are going wrong." Sameer kept both elbows on desk and leaned forward, levelling him with even eyes, "She doesn't need saving. She never did."   

"Then what?" Arjun frowned.

"She just needs someone who will stand beside her. Someone who doesn't stop her from running . . . " He slumped on the back rest again, because damn that word, " . . . but run after her and catch up with her."

Sameer's words gave him pause, something to think about. He was near the door when Arjun spoke up again.

"I feel like she is going down the rabbit hole."

"That's because she is." Sameer didn't deny his worries, "But know this. She will climb back. She is one of the strongest person I have ever known, and it will take more than one criminal Ex for her to break."

His words soothed something in his heart.

"She will climb up when it's time. Because sometime, light is not enough. You need darkness to make yourself stronger." He paused, "She just needs the one hand who will pull her back to civilization at the end of hole. But the walk is up to herself. None can do it for her, not even you."

He walked out of the cabin, closing the door quietly behind him.

All the retrospection and brooding had left him quite exhausted, so when Sun set down in the evening, all he wanted to do was head home and knock himself off. Sadly, the world didn't agree with him.

Chotu knocked twice before peeking in, "Shree found something."

Which made him frown, because the case is done. There is nothing new to find, not after the solid confession they all got.

The team was already around the IT expert's desk, just like today earlier. When he joined Shree started, but he missed a few words because he was busy trying to make something of the team mates reaction. Riya looked still, her back straight and expression impassive, not a single movement in her body. Not even a tap of finger or movement of toe. The stillness was more like statue way and not indifferent way.

He realized what it's all about even before Shree got to the point.

" . . . so I reached out to Cyber cell and then to IT department of IB. They were really helpful.'' He pushed his glasses up his nose, scrunching his nose before continuing, "I was right, the unknown third party who hacked Raghu sir's phone was in the city's vicinity. At least he was here."

"Any exact location?" Riya asked.

"I could only pin point it to a 5 KM radius with their help." He shrugged.

"Which is basically fruitless because he won't be there. No offense Shree." Chotu supplied, and the IT expert gave a nod. He turned to his laptop, typing away something as he talked.

"The intrusion was really high level, layers upon layers of firewalls and dodging so that the location bounce off to various parts of world. The code is something I have never seen, very different encryption. I feel like I am out of my depth here." The words were hopeless, but he looked awed at the mastery hacking. Feeling the stern gaze of Arjun, he gulped and visibly toned down the enthusiasm.

"Did anyone check this 5 km radius?" Arjun asked.

"IB did, but it was too late. Cyber cell didn't get anything." Shree answered, "Who can blame them? Have you seen their tech? It's awful, like pre-historic era."

Sameer chuckled and others cracked a smile at his comment. After a while, Riya handed him over a pen drive, which he took, looking up at her in confusion.

"Everything you got, put it in."

"You want to reach out to someone in IB?" Shree asked even though he started transferring files to the drive immediately.

"Something like that."

And the secrets were back!

The next day, thanks to the clumsy receptionist Neha who misplaced the telephone lines, he got to eavesdrop on something he never thought he would, but found out he didn't mind.

It was Agent Rahane's voice which made him pause, "So he will do modification to your phone and if Sahaay ever contact you, we will find the location?"

"You and ETF." The person who answered was Riya. It explained the glaringly obvious absence of her flip phone, which seemed to be glued in her palm all the time, letting her play on it.

"It's high level encryption."

"That's why I went to someone who has expertise in it." A bit of her usual sassiness could be heard in her voice.

Rahane kept quiet for a moment, and just when Arjun thought the conversation was over he spoke up, "It would be easier to just bring him in."

"Stay the fu*k away from him." Her voice went deadly quiet.

The Agent sighed, "All I am saying . . . "

"And I said stay the fu*k away." She whispered, but the threat was received loud and clear, "The game is in my hands, remember? The terms and condition is all mine."

Before Arjun could frown on it, Rahane's angry voice came up, "I remember your conditions. So, does he also falls under your 'close people' category?" He seemed to mock her.

"Yes he does. So stay away. Spook him and it won't end well."

After a long time, Rahane sighed, "You seem to make me the bad guy, Riya."

The words sounded like a lot similar what he had said to her.

The line from ETF side clicked off, the long beep buzzing in Arjun's ears. What deal they were talking about? Who is this Man Riya reached out for tech help? How come Rahane also knows him and why she was so angry when he wanted to bring him in?

The secrets are back, indeed.