Nazar/ Piansh Stories - Page 66

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Nikita_99503 thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago

Originally posted by: Madhura..


Matlab baatein wo jhuti hai, and you write well, but keep saying it's nonsense, etc. Nushy will agree!!

Ummm... Well... I take your word for that... ðŸ˜†

Edited by Nikki_srk - 4 years ago
Madhura.. thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago

Originally posted by: Nikki_srk

Ummm... Well... I take your word for that... ðŸ˜†

Good!!😃

Nikita_99503 thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago

Kisi ko humare barbaad kiye hue aur completely nonsensical OS ko padhne main interest hai??

Nahi hai to koi baat nahi... Nahi post karenge...

Edited by Nikki_srk - 4 years ago
Nush_Rat thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago

Originally posted by: Nikki_srk

Kisi ko humare barbaad kiye hue aur completely nonsensical OS ko padhne main interest hai??

Nahi hai to koi baat nahi... Nahi post karenge...

Muhe padna hain! Chup chap post kar!!! ðŸ˜ˆ ðŸ˜ˆ ðŸ˜ˆ

Nikita_99503 thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago

Originally posted by: nushy1995

Muhe padna hain! Chup chap post kar!!! ðŸ˜ˆ ðŸ˜ˆ ðŸ˜ˆ

Achha... theek hai... Karte hain...

But I am warning you, is baar you will definitely kill me for this one...

Nikita_99503 thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago

Okay, so I'm back with another nonsensical OS... 

But first and foremost, a two minutes silence for the original OS which I brutally murdered in the act of taking an inspiration...

Now, this time I am sure, you guys are going to kill me after reading this nonsense... So, sorry in advance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stranded in Rain

"Ansh!" Pia called out loudly. She was getting tired of this.

"Kya hua?" Ansh sighed, fully aware of the answer. He was irritated just like her. He clutched his laptop bag tightly to his chest.

They were returning home late at night... Pia had gone to her father's house and Ansh had picked her up while returning from his office. But his car betrayed them in middle of heavy rain. So, they had to walk in the rain with one umbrella and Ansh's laptop. Her saree was giving her a lot of trouble while walking in knee-deep water as it stuck to her legs making it difficult for her to walk...

And Ansh... He had blatantly refused to use their usual 'short-cut' of climbing and jumping from one building to another because he was having his laptop with him and did not want to take any risk with it.

"Kahin gir kar toot gaya to? Ya bag ke andar paani chala gaya to?" Was the reason given by Ansh... With a lot of efforts Pia had resisted the urge to grab the laptop and throw it away.

"Ansh, zara umbrella pakadna... Main apna purse sambhal loon." Pia said, as she tried to give the umbrella to Ansh.

"Mere hath free nahi hai. Laptop hai." Ansh blankly stated, not knowing it might fuel her anger. He held his laptop close to himself and continued walking. 

Pia looked at him angrily, but didn't say anything. She somehow fixed her purse. She was beginning to regret her decision of coming with Ansh.

She had planned to stay at her father's place overnight but Ansh had requested her to return...and she had agreed. And now, she was cursing the moment when she had agreed to go with him.

"Ansh..." Pia started. Ansh hummed in response. "Is laptop mein itna bhi kya khaas hai joh aise chipka rakha hai?" She gestured to his posture.

"Bahut sari files hai Pia. Itni mehnat ki hai banane main. Kharab ho gaya to dobara mehnat karni padegi..." Ansh replied. Pia gave him an understanding nod.

They continued to walk silently. Ansh was trying to hold his laptop more closely while Pia was trying to control the umbrella. It was raining heavily. A strong wind was also blowing. They were not able to see the road ahead properly.

Ansh got bored of the silent behaviour of Pia and decided to strike a conversation. "Mausam...achha hai naa?"

"Achha mausam? Seriously Ansh?! Hume theek se kuch bhi dikh nahi raha hai... Yahan knees tak paani bhara hai road par...chalne main itni dikkat ho rahi hai...aur tumhe yeh mausam achha lag raha hai?! Haan??" Pia exploded. She was feeling so irritated. This scared Ansh a lot. He chuckled nervously.

No one noticed the close proximity... They were too busy to notice, anyway. 

"Sorry..." Ansh said in a low voice.

Pia sighed. "Nahi... Actually I'm sorry. Mujhe tum par gussa nahi nikalna chahiye tha. Par mera dimag kharab ho raha hai."

Ansh looked for any vehicle. But all roads were closed due to water logging. Ansh said, "Hume paidal hi jaana padega. Yahan toh lift milne se rahi."

Pia looked at water towards her feet, "Hum pair kis tarah ke paani mein rakh rahe hai hai, yeh bhi nahi pata. Kitna ganda hai..."

Ansh rubbed his temples with his free hand. "Ab kuch nahi ho sakta."

They continued to walk ahead...with a lot of trouble, of course. Rain was pouring really hard... Pia had to cling to Ansh for support.

"Ansh, apna laptop bag mujhe do aur ye umbrella tum pakdo. Itni tez hawa main mujhse nahi sambhal rahi hai ye." Pia demanded.

Ansh wanted to say no... But it would be dangerous for him...and he wasn't a fool.

"Theek hai." He replied quickly. Pia took the bag from his hands and gave him the umbrella.

"Ufff!! Ab thoda sahi laga." Pia said with genuine smile. Ansh did not say anything and continued to walk. He was also getting irritated just like Pia.

Suddenly Pia's foot slipped.

"Anshhhh...." She called out in a hope that he might catch her hand and stop her from falling...

Ansh made a heroic dive, making Pia's heartbeat race... But not for her. He quickly snatched his laptop from Pia's hand and let her fall in dirty water.

"Aaj toh mera laptop jata..." Ansh muttered. He held his bag with one hand and the umbrella in the other. He totally forgot about a certain someone who fell into the water.

"Ansh..." Pia called out sweetly...very very sweetly. Ansh's face paled. He realised his mistake. He should have saved Pia, not his laptop! But he did not want his hard work to go in vain.

"Ha...haan..." Ansh stammered.

"Zara mujhe uthne main help karoge please... Main bheeg rahi hoon." Pia stated normally. Ansh looked confused. He expected Pia to explode on him again. Nevertheless, Ansh did what he was asked to do. He helped her to get up, and then continued to walk like nothing happened.

However, he failed to notice Pia's smirk.

"Ek baar hum bas ghar pahunch jaye... Phir dekhte hain is Lappujhanne ko mujhse kaun bachata hai..."

Unknowingly a cold shiver ran down Ansh's spine...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, this was it... I know bakwas hai. 

If you guys feel like killing me for this, you are most welcome...


PS. Agar kisi ko jaanna ho ki original OS main kya tha, you are free to ask...

Edited by Nikki_srk - 3 years ago


DO NOT COPY THIS POST AS THIS IS EXCLUSIVE TO INDIA FORUMS


Nush_Rat thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago

For a change, I found it funny when you said you brutally murdered the original story!!! ðŸ˜† ðŸ˜† ðŸ˜†


Otherwise, main to thak gayi (Hansa Parekh's style) chappal phekte phekte. Par tumhara faltu ka bakwas barkarar rahega as it seems ki tumhara stories bakwas hain.    Mo se training li hain kya - Short course on How to Become Persistent! ðŸĪŠ ðŸĪŠ ðŸĪŠ


Coming to the OS - another fun filled one. ðŸ‘ðŸž


Particularly liked the sentences where Piya was mad and could control her urge to throw the laptop away. ðŸ˜† ðŸ˜† ðŸ˜†


Specially Ansh's dialogue - Mausam accha hain na! cracked me up! ðŸĪĢ ðŸĪĢ ðŸĪĢ


I was actually imagining Ansh with an umbrella and a laptop in his hands while Piya was fallen on the road. I wish I could ask Madhura to make a creation on that! ðŸĪŠ ðŸĪŠ ðŸĪŠ


But, Piya's calm was the silence before the storm and I was actually hoping that you might extend your story.   


Overall, it was a fun reading it. ðŸ‘ðŸž


However, I do feel the description suits ArMu more than PiyAnsh because Mukhi was madly in love with his certain possessions and would get so busy with them while Aru might get annoyed. Ansh choosing a laptop over her seemed a bit out of the character.


But him being dead scared of Piya's silence was a nice touch. 

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Posted: 4 years ago

Agar kisi ko jaanna ho ki original OS main kya tha, you are free to ask...


I am curious! ðŸ˜Ž

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Posted: 4 years ago

It's a good read Nikki, written well. Emotions, of both were understandable. Pia controlling her emotions, fighting them and Ansh protecting his laptop.

But then I felt it had loopholes,

For starters, in heavy rain a single person also gets totally wet with an umbrella, and here both are sharing, so they will be totally drenched with the laptop. Felt you could have used a simple or practical reference than rain, here.


They using powers was wise as they could have reached faster, but that's fine as range of emotions wouldn't have come. 

Also this whole thing reminds me of a show scene, I saw which was hilarious, ofc a different situation. 

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Posted: 4 years ago

It's a good read Nikki, written well. Emotions, of both were understandable. Pia controlling her emotions, fighting them and Ansh protecting his laptop.

Thank you so much... ðŸ˜Š

But then I felt it had loopholes,

For starters, in heavy rain a single person also gets totally wet with an umbrella, and here both are sharing, so they will be totally drenched with the laptop. Felt you could have used a simple or practical reference than rain, here.

Well, yes it did have loopholes...

Laptop ka to we can assume that the laptop bag is a waterproof one, nahi? ðŸ˜†

Baaki yes, the setting could have been different but the original one was actually set in rain only... To I got this idea from that setting. Baaki this one is completely opposite to the original one that I read... 

They using powers was wise as they could have reached faster, but that's fine as range of emotions wouldn't have come. 

Exactly... Using powers was wise but then ye scene nahi ban sakta tha na!!

Also this whole thing reminds me of a show scene, I saw which was hilarious, ofc a different situation. 

Achha?? Kaun sa?