Chapter 35

Chapter 35

Khushi stepped into her house and let out a loud groan at the sight before her. The entire drawing room had been turned into a storeroom and boxes lay around in every corner.

“Babuji” Khushi called out, looking around for some space to dump her travel bag. There was none. Even the couch had shopping bags strewn all over it.

“Khushi?” Shashi Gupta stepped out of the kitchen and looked at Khushi with surprise.

“What is all this?” Khushi demanded from her father, pointing in the general direction of the mess.

“You were supposed to come back tomorrow, right? Or is it Thursday already?” Shashi Gupta replied, walking into the living room with a muddled expression.

“No. It’s still Wednesday but what is all this? How? When? Why? What did you do behind my back?” Khushi said, making her way towards Shashi through the boxes on the floor.

“Careful, Khushi. The boxes aren’t sealed yet” Shashi said, as she stumbled upon a box.

“But what is all this?” She asked again.

“This is all the stuff that I am packing for you to take to Delhi. Some of them have your books, your favourite gifts, some paintings that you drew back in college, and some of them have the gifts I am packing for your new family”

“And then, of course, some of it contains the items I ordered for the decorations. That box, for example, has fresh flowers delivered this morning. I have hired some helpers to thread them and put all over the house. Especially on the porch outside. They would look and smell great on your rose bushes and that guava tree. We could just ask them to hang the...”

“Babuji” Khushi said, shaking her head.

“What? You don’t want marigolds? We have some carnations, Gerbera and chrysanthemums too....in those boxes there. I was making a quick lunch and then I was going to unload them. The helpers shall be arriving in an hour” Shashi Gupta said and Khushi looked at her father with disbelieving eyes.

“You haven’t had lunch yet? And you bought ...all this? Didn’t Akash tell you not to?” Khushi asked, after taking a long sigh.

“How could he stop me? All of this is essential. I told him so when he tried to interfere. He already said the menu was too ostentatious and needs to be cut down. I never knew Akash to be so credulous about such things. It’s my only daughter’s wedding. I have been saving my entire life so that this special day could be half as special as my daughter. I had to explain all that to Akash before he backed off. Don’t tell me I need to explain it to you as well” Shashi Gupta said, throwing his palms in the air.

Khushi took a second to hear everything and then shook her head before speaking, “Please do everything exactly the way you want to. You’re the father, it’s your call” She said and removing some bags from the couch, sat down upon it.

“It sure is! And I am so happy that you came back today. Let me get you some water and then I want you to tell me all about this impromptu trip” Shashi Gupta said.

“No, I don’t want water, Babuji. But, I can smell something burning in the kitchen. Let me help you finish the cooking, and then I can tell you everything as you eat” Khushi said, getting up from the couch and heading towards the kitchen, with Shashi following her.

~~**~~

Birendra Singh Malik stared at the wedding invites with a thoughtful expression. He had finalized the final colour and the print two days ago and the invites had been delivered this morning. He was now examining them for any errors, his reading glasses perched atop his nose.

Since the last fifteen minutes, he hadn’t been able to read past the line where his name was printed as the father of Arnav Singh Raizada.

“Mr. Birendra Singh Malik requests the honour of your presence at the auspicious union of his son, Mr. Arnav Singh Raizada with Ms. Khushi..”

Birendra Singh Malik.

Arnav Singh Raizada.

The difference between them, their lives was so stark on this invitation letter. His son was not Malik, but Raizada. Despite trying very hard, Malik had been unable to wash away Arnav’s words from his mind.

“Delhi is my home. I would have gone back anyway”

“If you have forgotten, I am still a Raizada, Mr. Malik. All this has nothing to do with me. This house stopped being my home the day I left. And I will not let you bind me to your name, your house again”

There indeed are some scars that time cannot heal, Malik had come to realize. Just like he still felt a great deal of anger and hatred towards his wife Sujata, Arnav still considered Malik as the ultimate reason of his painful childhood. And Arnav was not wrong, yet Malik wished he could do something to undo those terrible years of his life.

He was still gazing at the invitation cards when he noticed Arnav standing in the doorway. Malik felt the familiar rush of affection and guilt shooting up and down his body. And he also noticed the sombre look on Arnav’s face. It was clear that Arnav’s mind was still heavy, just as his was.

“Why are you standing all the way there, son? Come inside” Malik spoke to Arnav, trying to hide the remorse and shame he felt upon seeing Arnav’s despondent face.

Arnav walked in with slow steps and noticed the invitation letters.

“How was your trip to Delhi? I am so glad that you came back...early” Malik said, trying to hide the relief he felt. Once Arnav had left for Delhi, he had spent a good amount of time wondering if he had finally driven away his son for good. But, Akash had repeatedly told him that Arnav’s trip was for two days and that he would return.

“Yes, I didn’t want to stay there for another day” Arnav replied, picking up one of the cards and observing it.

Birendra Singh Malik looked at Arnav with concern upon hearing his reply.

“Is everything alright there, son? I hope you didn’t have any trouble with your Naani there? Is she doing okay?” Birendra Singh Malik asked. Why else would Arnav not want to stay there and come back early?

“This is a beautiful card. I like the colour and the printing” Arnav replied instead, turning over the letter and looking at it.

Definitely there was something on his mind, Birendra thought as he looked at Arnav’s downcast eyes.

“I wasn’t sure blue was still your favourite colour. I chose this because it looks so serene and calming to the eyes. The red card was too...showy” Birendra replied, looking at the crisp white invite with cobalt blue colour letters inked upon it.

Arnav finally looked at Birendra with a twinge of curiosity in his eyes.

“You know blue is my favourite colour?” He asked.

Birendra Singh Malik nodded his head, “of course, I know. You always preferred the blue candies and blue balloons. In fact, this one time you insisted upon having a blue birthday cake too. I guess you were four? We had to get you a new cake right before the cake-cutting ceremony” Birendra Singh Malik recalled, a soft glow appearing on his face.

Arnav listened and shook his head.

“I don’t remember it” He said, with a bit of regret in his voice.

“It’s alright, son. You were too small to remember it now. In fact, if I remember correctly, I do have the pictures somewhere in my room upstairs. If you want, I can have someone get them for you to have a look later” Malik said, feeling excited himself.

Arnav noticed it and nodded.

“Yes, I would like to look at them later” He answered.

“Here, let me put these away” He further said, collecting the invites from the bed.

Malik handed the card to Arnav and watched him put them away on the table. Then, Arnav walked back to Malik and cleared his throat.

Birendra Singh Malik prepared himself to hear whatever Arnav was going to say. He couldn’t help but feel a bit apprehensive. He could see that whatever Arnav was planning to say was not easy. Because, Arnav opened his mouth and then closed it. Then he looked at the door and then back at Malik.

“What is it, son?” Malik felt the prickling on his body, sure that it was going to be something harsh; harsh but true. Because he did deserve it!

Arnav opened his mouth again but didn’t look at Malik.

“After the wedding, if you don’t mind, I would like to stay here for some time”

Malik looked at Arnav with an astonished face, unable to speak for several seconds. Arnav, on the other hand, finally lifted his gaze and looked at his father.

“I would like to stay here with you, until...you’re better” Arnav continued, wringing his hands, unable to bring himself to say more. There was so much more he wanted to say.

Birendra Singh Malik nodded slowly and then asked, “Is everything okay with your Naani? Did she say something to you when you were there? Are you two not on good terms?”

“No, everything is okay with Naani” Arnav replied, though he was dejected by the fact that she would not be attending the wedding.

Birendra Singh Malik sat up straight in his bed and extended a hand towards Arnav, putting it on his shoulder.

“You can tell me, Arnav. I know I have not proven to be a good father but if there is anything that is bothering you, I’ll do my best to fix it. Shall I talk to her on your behalf? Is she not willing to accept Khushi yet? Is that why you are upset and want to stay here for some time?” Birendra Singh Malik asked, looking at Arnav with worry.

It made Arnav look away and he shook his head.

“My decision to stay here has nothing to with Naani, Baba” He answered, forcing out every word. And it felt good to say it out loud. So, he looked at his father again and spoke, “I want to stay here because I want to spend more time with you, Baba. I am sorry for reacting so harshly the other day. I didn’t mean to hurt you in any manner. I just...I..” Arnav struggled for more words.

But, Malik was looking at Arnav with awestruck eyes.

“You called me Baba” He exclaimed, voice shaking with emotion.

Arnav realized it at the same time and he slowly nodded his head.

“You’re my Baba! What else am I supposed to call you?” He asked, not realizing his eyes had moistened.

Malik nodded vigorously, and a sob left his mouth.

“Baba” Arnav placed his hand upon Malik’s shoulder this time, but Malik didn’t look up, another sob leaving his mouth.

“Please, Baba. Don’t! Please hold yourself” Arnav said, realizing that tears were falling from his eyes as well. He reached for his father’s hand and pressed it slightly.

“When I was in Delhi, I mean yesterday, I had this nightmare. I saw that you were no more...and I couldn’t see you one last time. The pain..it was so excruciating, Baba. I could not breathe. All I could think was that I had missed the opportunity to tell you how much I need you. I’ve always needed you in my life, Baba. All this anger, all this hate that I carried with me, it was only because I could not get your love when I needed it the most. Being angry with you was the only way I could keep you as a part of my daily life. You were far away, here in Lucknow, but you were also there with me, Baba. There were so many days when I hated you more..so much more than usual days because those were the days when I missed you more than usual. Every time I felt like I was stuck somewhere, like I needed someone’s help and advice, I was reminded of the fact that I do not have my father with me” Arnav spoke, his voice breaking as he shared the words he hadn’t shared to anyone before, not even with himself.

Birendra Singh Malik shook his head, trying to pull himself together and speak but he could not. Hearing Arnav’s confession, he could once again see just how much he had hurt his son. He had always thought that it was him who needed his son back; he had never been able to hope or imagine that Arnav might have needed him just as much. He felt another bout of remorse hitting him. He truly has been selfish all along.

“I am so sorry, Arnav” Malik managed to speak, putting a shaking palm against Arnav’s cheek and looking him into the eyes.

Arnav shook his head.

“No, Baba. You don’t have to be sorry. It has been my mistake too. All these years, I never tried to contact you, to learn why you did what you did. It was so much easier for me to believe what I thought I knew. I never tried to hear your side of the story. I was afraid that if I let you near me again, my safe bubble would burst. I would have to hear things that I was not ready to hear. I haven’t been very fair to you” Arnav said, letting his own guilt surface up.

Birendra Singh Malik, however, shook his head vehemently.

“Not at all, Arnav! You are the best son I could have ever asked for. You were the beautiful lotus that bloomed in my otherwise muddied life and I could not take care of you. I was too blinded by own selfish desires. If I could get another chance to do this all over again, I would do it so differently. But, now, I neither have the time nor the strength, Arnav. So, if you could just forgive me, I would die peacefully” Malik said, smiling through his tear-stained face.

This time, Arnav shook his head.

“If you’re waiting for my forgiveness only so that you may die peacefully, then I must not forgive you, Baba. Because, I need you! I need you right beside me so that we can make up for all the lost time. I need you to be my father again” Arnav said, making Malik’s heart melt with both love and relief.

“Of course, my son!” Malik said, and pulled Arnav into a hug.

The two of them stayed that way for a few seconds before Arnav pulled away and then said, “Promise me that you will do your best to fight this disease, Baba? You cannot give up. Akash and I need you to be here with us” He said.

Malik nodded.

“I promise”, he said.

~~**~~

“It was one of the best moments of my life, Khushi. When he hugged me, I felt so overwhelmed and yet so light. There was such clarity in my mind, and so much happiness in my heart that I cannot explain. It was like..coming home. When he hugged me, it felt like I was finally home, free from all the troubles of life” Arnav said over the phone, his face breaking into a large smile.

He had spent another fifteen minutes with his father in the room, talking about his Naani. It would take another difficult conversation with his Naani to convince her that he needed to stay in Lucknow for a few more months. Birendra Singh Malik had even offered to let him talk to Devyani on Arnav’s behalf but Arnav had refused, knowing well that would not be a good idea.

The dynamic between his Naani and his father was still too volatile. He will need to do something about it, somehow figure out a way to find a balance.

“That’s beautiful. I am very happy for you” Khushi replied, and Arnav could feel her joy in her voice.

“I can’t wait to meet you. I feel like I should be with you at this very moment so that I can tell you everything that I feel right now” Arnav further said, though it had only been a few hours since he had last seen her.

“Maybe you feel like meeting me because you know we cannot meet until the wedding now” Khushi replied and Arnav shook his head.

“That’s a wrong assessment” He answered, though he knew it was true to some extent. The fact that he will not be seeing her for the next four days was too much for him.

“Alright. If you say so” Khushi said, letting it go.

“Now, I need to go and sleep. I have to wake up early and help Babuji with a lot of things. And then, in the evening I have to go for shopping with Lavanya” Khushi said.

“With Lavanya?” Arnav asked.

“Yes! She called me in the evening to ask about my flight and whether I reached safely or not. Then she told me that her flight will land around 11 am and we should go for shopping in the evening” Khushi said.

Arnav scrunched his forehead and asked, “Really? She didn’t call me. And how come she has your contact number already?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t ask her. I thought you might have given her my number” Khushi replied.

“I did not. Like I told you, she and NK, all of us haven’t spent too much time together. We are not as close as you might think. In fact, I don’t understand why is Lavanya being so chatty with you” Arnav wondered.

“That’s because I am not a grouch. I am a friendly person” Khushi replied, tongue in cheek.

“Grouch?” Arnav repeated incredulously.

“Of course! Don’t you remember how you acted when you came back to Lucknow first? I literally had to chase you so that we could talk for five minutes” Khushi said.

Arnav narrowed his eyes but then shrugged his shoulders.

“I guess I am a grouch. Though, with you, it was intentional” Arnav replied, smirking.

“And still you couldn’t evade my charms, could you? We did end up being friends” Khushi said, allowing herself a victorious smile.

“That you did” Arnav admitted. It was only because of Khushi’s constant efforts and trust in him that they could come closer. He was forever grateful to her for doing that. She had been the only person in his life who had genuinely tried to look past his stubborn and harsh front and she had succeeded.

“Anyway, now that you have said it, I too wonder how Lavanya got my contact number. I shall ask her when we meet” Khushi said, bringing Arnav back to the topic at hand.

“Yeah, do that!” Arnav replied.

“I like her. She has a spirited personality and she is quite amiable” Khushi said.

“Yeah, I guess so. Though, she has never asked Mami to stop, but she herself has never indulged in speaking atrocious things like Mami does. That does count as something” Arnav said.

Khushi remained silent for a second upon hearing Arnav’s words.

“Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if you had never left the Mahal. Maybe I would have met you that day when I snuck into the orchards for mangoes, and we would have become friends” Khushi said.

Arnav smiled hearing her words.

“I did use to spend a lot of time in the orchards. We would have definitely met and I would have instantly fallen in love with you” Arnav answered.

Khushi’s cheeks bloomed red upon hearing Arnav’s words.

“Instantly?” She asked.

“Although, it might have taken me a few years to realize that it was love and then we could have dated a few years before I proposed you; but yes, I would have fallen in love with you instantly” Arnav said.

“How can you be so sure?” Khushi asked.

“Because I fell in love with you the day I met you for the first time. You were like a bolt of lightning in my dark world, leading me towards light, towards the right path. Though, it took me few years to realize that what I felt for you was indeed love, the feeling had taken root the day you looked me in the eye and spoke to me like you could see right through me” Arnav said, recalling his first encounter with Khushi.

Khushi took a few seconds to let his words settle into her heart, and then she said, “You’re saying it because you have an ideal version of me in your head, Arnav. The honest truth is that I should have turned to you much earlier. Instead, I wasted so many years looking for things in the wrong place. If only I could have spent more time with you, paid more attention to your words, I could have found my happiness much before. We lost so many beautiful years because of me” Khushi said, sharing one of the thoughts from deep inside her heart.

“Before I reply to that, tell me what made you bring this up today?” Arnav asked, sensing Khushi’s guilt.

“Mami ji! When you mentioned the atrocious things she has said to you, I couldn’t help but think that despite not being in Lucknow, your life hasn’t been any less challenging. You have lived in a house which hasn’t accepted you wholeheartedly. Even Naniji, who loves you a lot, she has inflicted her rules upon you, made you abide by them. She never let you forget your painful childhood; instead she used it to fuel the resentment inside your heart. I respect her a lot for taking in you and raising you, but she hasn’t done the best she could have. And though I have no right, Arnav, but sometimes, I still resent her for doing that. I resent Mami ji for not being more protective and caring towards you. And, sometimes, I feel that I could have been the friend you needed then. But, I was not. I was too busy living inside my bubble, unaware of what was going on in your life. I was too naive to understand what you felt for me. I did that. I didn’t understand you when you needed to be understood the most. Of that, I will always remain guilty” Khushi said, her voice ending up melancholic and cheerless.

When she was done speaking, Arnav spoke.

“You want to know how I look at all of this?”

“Yes” Khushi said.

“I don’t think that we have lost any time. I don’t think that you have ever failed to understand me. And though, my life has been challenging to some extent; that is just the way of life. You too have faced your own set of hardships, Khushi. You have also experienced loss and learned to live with it. You have turned out to be stronger than ever, and with more positivity than I could ever manage. The way I see it, you turned to me when I had no hope whatsoever. You saw something worth loving in me when I could see none. You made me a part of your life at a time when I was too far gone. You brought me back, you taught me to take pause and live in the moment. It would have been far too easy for you to fall in love with me when I was falling in love with you. But, you fell in love with me when I was at my lowest, full of nothing but bitterness. You accepted me at my worst and that means more to me than I can ever express. You humbled me, Khushi. You made me worthy of being loved by you” Arnav said, letting his heart do the talking.

Khushi realized she was crying because her voice was moistened and her throat was choked.

“That is definitely a better way of looking at things” She managed to answer, wiping her eyes.

“It should be the only way of looking at us. That’s the story I want you telling our kids, not your sob-story, okay?” Arnav said, infusing a little humour in his voice.

Khushi managed to smile.

“Let’s get married quickly. I want to see you and hug you” She said.

“Just that? I have so many more things that I want to do to you” Arnav said, chuckling, already imagining the blush on her cheeks.

“Me too” Khushi said, making Arnav lose his sanity for a second, as he exhaled loudly, imagining what those things might be.

“Don’t you dare to imagine any of that, Arnav” came Khushi’s warning, though she herself found flashes of their night in Delhi running amok insider her head.

“I am not” Arnav quickly replied, bringing himself back to reality.

“Good!” Khushi too blocked the pictures from her head.

“So, tell me what is going on with Shashi uncle? Akash told me Shashi uncle ordered five types of flowers?” Arnav asked, steering their conversation towards wedding preparations.

“Don’t even ask!” Khushi said as she began sharing the details of her father’s idea of ‘the perfect wedding for my only daughter’.

~~**~~

When the morning came, Arnav found an excited Akash taking charge of the day.

“Why do we need such an elaborate menu for lunch today” Arnav asked, as he listened to Akash listing out dishes to Hema and Dayal, while Ratan Kaka offered his own suggestions.

It was after breakfast and after spending an hour with Malik trying to understand his medication timings and dosage, Arnav was sitting in the drawing room, answering his work-related emails.

“Elaborate? It’s just three extra dishes than what we usually have, Bhai. And you ask the reason? It’s because we are expecting guests today. We need to make an impression, right? After all, we are Lucknowi people famous for our ‘mehman-nawazi’ (hospitality)” Akash replied, after finalizing the dessert and sending Hema and Dayal off to the kitchen.

“It’s just NK and Lavanya, Akash. They are not coming here to test the Lucknowi ‘mehman-nawazi’. They are here for the wedding. In fact, they would be more interested in sight-seeing. Lavanya already asked Khushi to take her places” Arnav said, typing his emails and talking to Akash at the same time.

“That too will be taken care of, Bhai. But, first we should have a good meal together. The flight is landing in three hours. I’ll take your car to go receive them. It is bigger than mine” Akash said.

Arnav looked up from his phone and at Akash.

“We can send Mohan with the car. You don’t have to go” he said.

“How can that be, Bhai? It’s their first time in the city. I should go myself” Akash said.

Arnav gave another strange look to Akash for his eagerness and said ‘fine’.

Another hour passed and Akash returned to him for taking the car keys.

“You’ll be at home, right, Bhai?” He asked Arnav before leaving.

“Yes! Where else will I go?” Arnav asked, looking up from his laptop.

“Well, there are so many errands to run these days...anyway, be here until I return, okay?” Akash said.

“Fine” Arnav muttered again and went back to his laptop.

Another three hours passed by and then Arnav looked at his ringing phone.

“How’s the shopping coming along?” He asked Khushi, who was out shopping for clothes with her Babuji.

“Exhausting! Babuji is being more nitpicky than I have ever seen him to be. We had to visit FIVE shops before he bought the Kurtas he wants to gift to Malik Uncle and Doctor Uncle” Khushi said.

“If only you had let me come along” Arnav said. Last night, he had offered her to come along with them but Khushi had told him that it was the last free day before the Mehendi ceremony so he should wrap things on his end.

“No, we don’t need you here to tag along. You should be at home. By the way, did Lavanya and NK arrive yet?” Khushi asked.

“Not yet. Akash has gone to receive them. And the strange thing is that he was acting quite odd” Arnav said.

“Odd how?” Khushi asked.

“I don’t know how to put it. He seemed both excited and on edge?” Arnav said.

“Is that so? Lavanya called me in the morning before leaving for the airport and she too sounded exactly like that. But, I chalked it up to her usual candour” Khushi replied.

“That’s quite a co-incidence. I wonder what the reason could be. Could it be possible that...” Arnav’s words died on his lips while his eyes went wide with surprise.

“Arnav?” Khushi spoke from the other side but Arnav was staring at the doorway, where NK and Akash were helping Devyani Singh Raizada walk into the Mahal.

“Naani?” Arnav exclaimed, unable to believe what he was seeing.

“The one and only” came Lavanya’s answer who walked in behind Devyani Singh Raizada, dragging a large trolley with wheels.

“Hello, Chote! Aren’t you happy to see me here?” asked Devyani Singh Raizada after she had walked up to Arnav.

____________________

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