Bondita's mental trauma

I had planned to quit the show but yesterday's episode made me come right back. People blaming Ani for remarrying to distract Bondita while also indirectly fulfil his romantic intentions must have understood the real point now.

Ani just wants Bondita to see what the world is like to an actual adarsh bahu in those regressive times. Involving Sumati along with Manorama into it proved that all he is doing is a farce but unless the experience is realistic enough, how will Bon understand that what she is losing out on by giving up her chances at education??

A husband and his family has a choice to be nice or bad to a good wife, she is at his mercy. A husband and his family cannot dare to misbehave with a strong wife. Bondita had to realize that she traded freedom for mercy, she exchanged uniqueness with mediocrity, she disappointed the only person who cared for her for the rest of the society.

Everyone has been and still paints a rosy picture of the sacrifices of a housewife. Unless shaken to the core to wake up and smell the coffee, Bon would have continued to be gaslighted by the villagers who praise Aniruddh for the cases he has won for their rights, but Bondita for being a good wife and not for her academic scores. The same people who chose to join Aniruddh immediately in his second marriage's reception and abandoned Bondita. 

We know Sumati was faking it, but was everyone else too???

Originally posted by: flamingoAK

"...how will Bon understand that what she is losing out on by giving up her chances at education??"

By explaining it to her. By sitting her down and showing what she is capable of. By guiding her as a mentor all along. Not by giving her mental trauma that will haunt her for the rest of her life.

I completely agree with your thoughts on societal expectations of wives. It is the 1920s. Women rights, women education and working women was not a typical thing. But you cannot hurt a kid to this level to show them the worth of something else. To Bon, her whole world came breaking down on her.

As if he didn't try??

Note the questions he asked her,

1. Why should Aniruddh's teachings only be for Bondita's convenience? As long as it worked for her, she chose to be guided by him, when it didn't she chose her Ariel mode, clipped her fins of education that could have let her swim in the sea of independence and donned the legs of a wife who could walk in pain but never run. The scene with her wearing the western outfit was very metaphorical about that.

2. Which brings us to the next question, studying and infatuating over Anirrudh could have stayed two separate things, why did Bondita compromise on one for the other? Wasn't she aware that how happy her academics made Aniruddh? But no, I wanna be have a trophy of a wife as per society, to hell with what the only person who cares for me thinks.

We have lost count of modern day teenagers failing exams because they developed a crush, hadn't their parents tried to make them understand? Also hasn't Aniruddh done more for Bondita that she ever did for him?

3. At the end of the day she is a teen, who will push their finger into the electric socket, try that cigarette or beer, steal out of their dad's pocket if refused pocket money, just because she likes it, inspite of thousands of sermons. She heard from both parties and chose the path she liked, even though she saw how much it hurt Aniruddh, only blaming him back for refusing to accept her. 

KSG taunted her like crap when she entered the household, but she still took his advice. She was terribly misguided by Sampoo about such an important event of her life but she paid heed to her over Ani. She paid heed to the taunts of villagers this time, when she has answered them back ample number of times previously. Why?? Because she wanted it. To be honest, the idea of being a wife (to anyone) infatuated her more than Aniruddh did. Would she have paid heed to any of his explanation?

4. She literally pushed him to the edge on wanting him to make her a normal wife, so he made her. She didn't want a "Rishta tera mera" but a "baakiyon jaisa rishta" so he showed her what it was like. Hurting a wife is not right but was a norm then. 

Ample husbands in those days married women they didn't find attractive for dowry and then brought a prettier wife for their carnal urges, the first wife stays cast away in a corner and doesn't as questions. You cannot have your cake and eat it too. The unique protector who built a bathroom for her and made other village wives jealous couldn't also have been the husband those wives already had, he could just be either.

"...how will Bon understand that what she is losing out on by giving up her chances at education??"

By explaining it to her. By sitting her down and showing what she is capable of. By guiding her as a mentor all along. Not by giving her mental trauma that will haunt her for the rest of her life.

I completely agree with your thoughts on societal expectations of wives. It is the 1920s. Women rights, women education and working women was not a typical thing. But you cannot hurt a kid to this level to show them the worth of something else. To Bon, her whole world came breaking down on her.