Song-in the end by linkin park!
(It starts with one)
One thing I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme To explain in due time
(All I know)
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
Sitting in her room and staring at the calendar, she went down the memory lane. Remembering everything that happened in the last nine months. Nine months!! Suddenly she could not believe that her marriage was nine months old. How did it even last that long? It was fake . it was not even supposed to last for a day. But it did. It lasted for nine months. It was funny how these nine months took away almost everything she had built in the last 30 years.
How could time play such games? It took away 30 years of hard work in nine months.
(It's so unreal)
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on but didn't even know
I wasted it all just to watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to be will eventually be a memory of a time when...
The nine months had passed right in front of her. Time flew then. But now it felt as if the world had come to a stop. As if everything was done. She could not believe she had let herself work on something which didn't exist for nine months. She had worked so hard on it. but now it was all over. Why had she worked on it when she knew it had to end someday? A delusion it was. It had crept around her and given her hopes of something which was impossible.
It was nothing to him. But it was everything to her and her family. It was a game he wanted to end as fast as possible and even though she didn't want to she was dragged in it. she could suddenly feel something she had not felt before.wrath. why was she dragged in all this? What as her mistake? if this marriage never happened she would have been so happy today. His sister was betrayed but what was her mistake in all this? What was she in all this mess ? a scape goat?
She felt angry on everybody. Him,his sister,her mother,her sister,her sister's boyfriend...but most of all she felt angry on herself...angry till the extent of hating her own self. Why did she allow this to happen with her?
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
Her life was spoilt. She didn't know how she was going to live. She would have to pick the pieces of her broken self and somehow keep moving. But was it even possible to keep moving. How would she pick up the pieces when she could not even see them. She didn't know what she was feeling. There were so many things going on that she could not feel anything. Surprisingly there was nothing happening still so much was happening. It didn't matter anymore. To nobody but to her. It didn't affect anybody but her. It did affect him. A voice in her head argued. She started getting flashbacks of his hung-over state.
Did it really matter to him ? no it didn't .she kept saying to herself. he has achieved what he always wanted. She is out of his life. He can now live happily with the love of his life. But what about her? What was she supposed to do now? Had he ever thought how his games would affect her?no he never had. He only thought about himself.
One thing, I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
She had tried so hard to make it work. But why had she? She remembered how she believed that sa marriage cannot survive if both the participants are not into it with their heart and soul.and she always knew that he was never into this marriage.so why had she let herself work on it? she had given herself to it completely. It was complete sincerity and dedication from her side but nothing from his side.she remembered how he treated her. he had given no rights to her. but he had assumed that he had rights on her and she let him.
He had been mean about everything. Her looks her character and her financial background.then why had she worked on this marriage so hard? She had lied to her mother. She had almost taken away her sister's love from her. she had completely forgotten hat she existed too. She felt as if she was living not for herself but for the people around her. but did it make any difference?no it didn't!
All these months of pretence made no difference. And now it was over. All over. And all she could see was ashes of her remains.
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I'm surprised it got so (far)
Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
In the end
He had always kept it clear that they could not have a life together. He had always kept it clear that she was never the one. But she had supposed that she could not make decisions based on his words. As she saw herself in her room she could not recognize herself anymore. And nobody could . she was gone. She had lost herself. Even he would not recognize her now. But why would he care? And how would he recognize her? would he even notice the change? No he wouldn't ! he never knew her to enough to see how much she had changed.
But now it was too late to think about all this. She had done a huge mistake and she realized it when it all ended.
You kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when...
"humare beech ab sirf nafrat ka rishta hai"
Nine months. Had she slowly tried to make a bond with him to hear these words? Had all this months of creating a understanding and bearing the endless tortures to come to this?
For nine months they scratch that! She had worked on it . but it all came back to how it was in the start!
She had thought that maybe they would be able to live a life together. Maybe they would have a happy ending! But now all that remained of them was a memory of these months when he had done nothing while she had worked with her heart and soul.
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There's only one thing you should know
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There's only one thing you should know
She remembered how much she had trusted him.but what had he done? He had no trust in her. even after knowing her for nearly a year,he had assumed that if hetold her about his marriage with tanu , she would complain about him to his dadi.how could he even imagine her doing something so hideous? And that was what she needed to see the reality. They could never exist together. They didn't have it in them. He could never trust her. and she could not take the risk of letting him play with her life anymore.
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
She could see nothing even though everything was in front of her eyes. Who was she? Where was she? No it was not her. she was not the pragya her ma had raised. She was some love-sick weak girl who lived in an illusion.how would she transform herself into the woman she was before this new pragya took over her. what would she do if she is never able to go back to her strong self again? What was happening? Was she in some dream? If it was so she wanted it to end as soon as possible.
And with these thoughts she let sleep overtake her exhausted self.
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