LAST PART CONTINUED
Ram: (spoke falsely in their
defense) Nahi my princess…Mumma, Papa were just (she stuck her palm out and he
halted staring at Priya for salvage.)
Priya: (taking a stab at the
situation) H-Haan Princess… (she chuckled nervously looking at Ram and than
back at Pihu, who slowly lowered her hand) Mumma and Papa were just t-t-talking
a-and…
Pihu: Baas! I don't want to hear
anything…You guys did what you had to do now I will do what I have too…
(Looking at each other confused Ram and Priya looked back at Pihu relaying the
same expression only to have it replaced with ice-cold fear) PARR- DA--! (Pihu
almost finished screaming when Ram quickly covered her mouth while Priya closed
the room door heaving a sigh of relief and hoping Dadi didn't hear her)
Ram: (With his palm still
covering her mouth Ram cajoled Pihu) Please my angel don't call Dadi… (Resting
his knees on the ground in front of her, he released his palm from over her
mouth entrusting that she would listen to his clarification) Like Mumma was
saying we were just talking… really loudly… Woh actually Papa was asking Mumma
to sit down on the bed because too much walking and standing is not good for
your baby brother or sister…
Pihu: Oh yes! You are right
Papa! Mumma, sit down on the bed, quickly… If you keep walking around or
standing than baby will get dizzy. Hain na Papa?
Ram: Absolutely Princess…
That's what I was trying to explain to Mumma…
Pihu: Mumma…Please sit…(she
ordered gently with her left eyebrow raised)
Priya: (sulking) Haan theek hain…
Ja rahi hoon…
Pihu: (suddenly stops Priya
startling both her parents) Mumma wait… You have to walk slowly… Right papa?
Ram: (clearly enjoying every
moment of Pihu's orders) Bilkul Princess!!
Priya: (in a shocked tone) Arey
Pihu how can I walk any slower than this…(unknowingly her voice raised a bit)
Ram: (egging Pihu further)
Priya you can't speak so loudly… Baby will get scared…isn't that right princess?
Pihu: Correct Papa! Mumma, as a
big sister I can't let my baby brother or sister to get scared… Please…
Priya: Okay (she softens her
tone) fine… (She glares at Ram who is beaming a wide grin and than smiles
meekly at Pihu before bracing herself to walk at a snails pace to Pihu's bed…Priya
exhaled deeply and muttered quietly to herself) Chal Priya… (she took a step
and than stalled looking back at Pihu and Ram to see if they approved) Better
go slowly, Ram aur unki chumchi ke orders jo hain… This is just the first week
Priya there is 39 more to come… Good luck! (she thought to herself and finally
reached the bed…)
Ram picked pihu up in his
arms giving her a kiss on her cheeks as a reward for getting ready so nicely
for bed without any assistance. Just the sight of the sheer love between the
father-daughter duo was enough to normalize Priya's temper, which she knew
didn't exist in actuality. Pihu kissed and hugged Priya's belly for the
umpteenth time that evening saying, "Baby don't worry, main hoon Pihu, you're
older sister and I won't let anything happen to you…Ab raat bahut hogayai hain,
you can go to sleep without any worries…Good night!" Priya and Ram smiled at
each other their eyes instantly moistening as they witnessed the development of
an indestructible bond, albeit in it's early stages it was still very
promising.
Priya: (tucked a strand of Pihu's
hair behind her ear and gave her a kiss on her forehead.) I am so proud of you
my baby…I love you so much… (Pouring all her motherly affection into her
embrace Priya wrapped her arms around Pihu)
Pihu: (Ram watched, sitting on
the bed next to Pihu) Papa come…(she gestured with her hand) It's been a long
time since we had a group hug…
Ram and Priya sandwiched
Pihu in between them making certain that she knew that no matter what happened
in the 9 months to come, they will always love her the same. A group hug was
the embodiment of love that by the grace of god flickered through stormy
weather for many years in Ram, Priya and Pihu's life. Being in the middle of
the affection was apt for Pihu since she truly is the center of her parent's
universe. The night stood witness to the
pleasure that these three found in each other's company, warding off any evil
by the sheer nature of its colour and characteristics. Ram narrated the story
of an angel who came into the lives of two misguided individuals giving them
hope and a new direction. Pihu listened intently to the detailed narration of
her first steps holding on to her father's finger. Her first word when she
called out to her father one blessed day when he was leaving for work. And the
many times he pleaded her to repeat it throughout the day, tickling her
unintentionally with the prickliness of his lightly grown beard when he kissed
her round, fluffy cheeks each time she said, "PA-PA". He attempted to describe
the indescribable level of peace that fostered in his heart when he came home
to the sight of Priya playing with her on their bed. She would kiss baby Pihu's
forehead, eyes, nose, chin, palms and feet leading to her tummy where she would
blow a raspberry. Pihu would laugh and shout out in excitement trying to grab
Priya's hair messing it up in the process. Pihu's cooing as she played by
herself in the crib early in the morning, nibbling her fingers with her gums
was all but a distant memory. He recalled how Pihu would stretch her arms and
kick her legs in excitement when someone interacted with her and the moment
that they shifted their attention away she would scream in a high pitch tone as
if to remind them that she was still there in case they had forgotten. In the
middle of the story Pihu's snoring made Ram aware that there were too many
chapters in this saga to unfold in one night. Priya watched him in a loving
daze stroking Pihu's head gently as she slept on her lap.
Ram: (giving her his classic
tongue in cheek expression Ram began closing his suit jacket as if to
illustrate that he was apprehensive of her intentions) Why are you looking at
me like that?
Priya: (with a grin on her face,
she covered Pihu's ears and whispered) The more I gaze at you, the more I
realize how much I love you… And to be honest, I was just thinking about all
the things that I wanted to do to you…
Ram: Kya? (he stated in awe and
she hastily shushed him, pointing through her eyes at Pihu)
Priya: Ram aap bhi na? Let's go
from here before Pihu wakes up.
The loving parents stamped a
kiss on Pihu's cheek, tucking the blanket neatly right under her chin preparing
her for a cozy ride into dreamland. Forgetting the world for a moment they
stood at the end of her bed watching her sleep with her mouth slightly parted
exhaling after every snort. Ram and Priya joined hands, an action that was so
common it required no conscious thought. They pleasantly gazed once more at
their most prized possession before they walked down the corridor into their
room, not needing words to express their mutual serenity. The click of the
double bolt on their room door was music to their ears; while it was engaged it
seemed that the world around them came to halt and they were left loose to
wander freely in each other's eyes. Ram turned around and took the first few
steps towards his wife and than she bridged the gap between them with her
advances. Encircling her arms around his neck, she massaged the back of his
head with her long manicured fingers as her gaze travelled deeply into the safe
haven of his pupils. But instead of a joyful shine that would usually greet her
on her arrival she was catapulted into an aura of confusion.
Priya: (stepping back slightly
her palms rested naturally on his broad shoulders) Ram what's bothering you?
Ram: (he chuckled denying any
such accusations) Nothing Priya…(his fingers created a supportive mesh behind
her back at her waist level) I am absolutely fine…
Priya: You can't lie to me no
matter how hard you try… I know what you are debating in your mind… (he looked
at her surprised) You're wondering whether it's okay to share any problems with
me while I am pregnant. But I'll have you know that I can tell when you are
stressed and this feeling alone stresses me out way before you even say
anything. So Mr. Kapoor this means that if you share your problem with me not
only will you feel better, but I will as well. And isn't that what you want?
Ram: How do you know me so
well?
Priya: Years of experience and
torture… (she laughed and kissed his unsuspecting lips while he tried to
decipher her sentence)…Now tell me…
Ram: (amused with her cute
antics) First you need to sit down…
Priya: (withdrawing her hand she
complained) No! not again… Ram, last time you and your laadli took real nice
advantage of my vulnerability but this time you're a one-man army...
Ram: (giving her an ultimatum)
Toh phir theek hain… I won't tell you anything…
Priya: (pouting) Okay fine! (She
walked over to the bed, with a sulky expression but sat down nonetheless)
There…Now tell me…
Ram: Now lie down…
Priya: what? Is the news really
that bad that I might faint upon hearing it?
Ram: No Priya… But you're
pregnant and in that state even the slightest bit of stress can get you
overworked…
Priya: Ram… This is too much…I
refuse to lie down…
Ram: Okay than atleast rest
against the headboard… (That request suited Priya's wish and she did as she was
instructed with a heap of attitude)
Priya: Happy? Now tell me what's
wrong?
Ram: (held both her hands)
Priya… I am worried that I won't be a good father…
Priya: (confused) Ram what are
you talking about…If there was a best father award, the prize would go to you
without a doubt. Pihu loves you…You are her superhero…
Ram: Yeah I know Priya but I
can't forget that I was the same superhero who instead of protecting her, put
her in harms ways…What will she think if she found out that when she was a baby
I let my anger get the best of me and as result she suffered? Don't you
remember Priya? Even you were so enraged after what had happened that you took
Pihu to your parent's house when she was not even a month old.
After the delivery much had
changed between Ram and Priya. The love had lost its footing somewhere in the
mucky waters of their relationship. A lie had polluted their entire life
turning it upside down to a point where nothing could be made out of the pieces
left over in the aftermath of a storm. It was Priya's turn to apologize and she
did every chance she got but his response was the same, "If you were really
sorry, you would have told me before." Ram would not allow Priya to do anything
for their child; aside from breastfeeding he took ownership over everything
else that Pihu required. The one sacrifice she took easily soured her sweetest
relationships. Everyone was incensed by Priya's insensitive decision but Ram
had taken anger to an entirely different level. Nevertheless, could you blame
him? They would have lost a daughter, sister, daughter-in-law or a friend but
he would have lost his reason for living and you can't rob a person of much
more than that. The consequences of her actions were being tallied against her
but the truth was that Pihu suffered the greatest injustice in all this
bitterness.
Ram's justification was that
if Priya hadn't survived than he would have had to provide all the care to Pihu
by himself and evidently that's what Priya had wanted when she took such a big
decision in her hand. Three weeks later, Krishna and Dadi had slowly began
forgiving Priya, coming to the conclusion that she had learnt her lesson.
However, when they instructed Ram to do the same he wasn't the least bit eager
to join their bandwagon. One night, after dinner Priya walked into her room
hearing Pihu crying in her cradle. The first step she took into their room was
enough to make her hair stand on end; it was freezing. She knew that Ram had
returned from work but he was nowhere to be seen. Priya rushed to Pihu's cradle
in which she lay with not even a single article of clothing on her tiny,
shivering body. Wrapping her up in the cotton blanket on which she laid, Priya
held her close to her bosom and walked to the open window pulling it shut with
one hand.
Ram:
(walked into the room immediately enraged seeing Priya interfering with his
parenting) What the hell are you doing? Give me my child…(he leapt to take Pihu
from her but she pulled back)
Priya:
(angrily) Ram, where did you go? Pihu was lying in her crib crying and you were
nowhere to be found.
Ram:
(yelling) I went to the other room for just a second to grab her a diaper (he
waved the diaper in his left hand)… Let me finish changing her… I don't need
your help… You are just mad that I am learning to manage on my own. I bet you
thought it wasn't in me…
Priya:
(she interrupted in a boisterous voice of her own) Ram ye kaunsi zhid hain? You
could have asked me for help… (Pihu's took shallow breaths continuing to cry
weakly…Priya rubbed her back over the blanket, holding her close to her body.)
Ram:
(egotistically) Why would I? Huh? If you weren't here, I would have had to do
all of this on my own anyways…
Priya:
(Completely frustrated, she screamed, so loudly that Ayesha, Sid, Dadi and
Krishna all came running into their room) RAM I AM NOT DEAD!!! WHY DON'T YOU
UNDERSTAND? I SAID I WAS SORRY! Ram…for whom did I do all this? Huh? You don't
think that my heart ached knowing that I might not make it to be a part of a
family that I also wanted so badly…(she was so angry that she couldn't help
herself from crying but she spoke past the emotions getting to the root of a
topic that had already crossed all boundaries) Enough! If I am dead to you,
than that's fine. But Pihu's mother is still alive and I won't let your anger
towards me put her life in danger.
Dadi:
Priya puttar what is all this?
Priya:
(Glaring angrily at a flabbergasted Ram, she walked over to Dadi and Krishna
rocking a whimpering Pihu in her arms) Dadi, Ma... Ram left Pihu here all alone
with nothing on, to go and get a diaper from the other room… When I came into
the room she was shivering and crying… Ma you know how sensitive baby's are to
extreme heat and cold. I know I made a mistake but this is the limit… If Ram
didn't want to ask me for help, he could have asked you…But no more, now I will
take care of Pihu, whether anybody likes it or not… Siddhant get the car warmed
up, we have to take Pihu to the hospital… I can't take any risk in this
situation…
Ram:
(his heart quivered with guilt listening to Priya speak) Priya I can…(he piped
up in a shaky voice but Priya was in no mood to listen)
Priya:
Sid, go fast, please…
Dadi watched helplessly as
Ram stood in the corner of the room with an undeniable look of guilt on his
face; too much love and too much hate often leads to a bad ending and this situation
was no different. When they reached the hospital Ram stood at a distant
listening to Pihu wailing while the doctor assessed her… She was placed under a
heater for a while, which she seemed to enjoy, kicking her legs under the
blanket wrap and looking here and there. The doctor told them that there was
nothing to worry about since Priya had intervened at an appropriate time but in
future they obviously needed to be more careful working together as a unit to
raise Pihu. Priya's parents came rushing to the hospital when they heard the
news and celebrated when Pihu was cleared for discharge the same night. Pihu had
drifted into a tranquil sleep with a slight smile on her face when the nurse
brought her over to Priya.
Priya:
(Ram moved close to Priya and Pihu with a relieved smile that encompassed his
tears of joy… Before he could say or do anything Priya spoke quickly) Ma is it
okay if I take Pihu home with my parents tonight? (Ram froze in his steps and
stared hurtfully at Priya)
After much insistence,
Krishna and Dadi decided to grant Priya's request since Ram did not say a word
to verbalize his objection.
Priya: (caressing Ram's cheeks)
No Ram I don't remember that… (he looked up at her puzzled)… But I do remember
when you came over to my parent's house in the middle of the night apologizing
for waking everyone up. Little did you know that Pihu's constant crying didn't
allow anyone to sleep. I remember that night; we tried everything to calm her
down. She would stop momentarily but for some reason she would start wailing
again until her face turned bright red. We all took turns to pacify her but she
appeared so angry and it reminded me of you… I remember how you practically
barged into my old room upon hearing your angel in distress and how you took
her in your arms holding her close to your chest. "Baby please stop crying…"
Four words that we each said countless times was meaningless to Pihu until you
said it. I remember how she wobbled her head on your chest with her eyes wide
open looking for the familiar face that went with her favourite voice. It was a
moment of relief, realization and jealousy all in one-60 second frame. The
relief was that Pihu had stopped crying; Realization was that she couldn't live
without you; and jealousy was in the knowledge that Pihu loved you more than
anyone else in this world, including myself. And Ram we all make mistakes and expect
to be forgiven… It's not until someone wrongs us that we realize how hard it is
to forgive.
Ram cradled Pihu in his arms,
sitting on the sofa in the living room. He brought Pihu's teeny hand, which was
curled into a fist as a result of clutching his finger, up to his lips kissing
it several times. Sudhir observed Ram
stealing glances at Priya who intentionally refused to acknowledge him. Serious
rectifications were in order for Ram and Priya's relationship and thus he
wisely instructed everyone to go to sleep telling Ram that he must stay the
night. Ram jumped at the opportunity to make things right with his wife. He
followed Priya into her old room with Pihu secured in the cradle of his arm.
She paced with no clear purpose, setting the bed with linens and pillows, which
obviously could wait. Approaching her from behind he firmly grasped her wrist…
Priya:
(her back turned to him) Let go of me…
Ram:
No…
Priya forcefully released
her wrist from his grip and started walking away. She didn't get very far when
she felt a tug at her dupatta…Furiously turning around to give Ram a piece of
her mind, Priya saw that it was not Ram but Pihu who had held on to her saree
trying to put it in her mouth. Curling up into a ball with her limbs scrunched
inwards Pihu fixated on Priya's hands as she tried to gently massage her saree
out of her hold and finally succeeded.
Priya:
Pihu…Papa se kahiyein that all of this is not necessary… (she reversed her step
and turned to walk towards the wardrobe)
Ram:
uhh…Pihu…Mumma se kahiyein that I haven't come here for her I came here for
you… Did you know when I was on my way home, your cold, shivery image failed to
leave me… (Priya observed through the corner of her eyes as Ram placed Pihu on
the bed wedging her in between two fluffy pillows that were double, bordering
on triple, her length. Digging into the mattress with his elbows Ram grasped
Pihu's legs still in his grip, placing a kiss on her feet.) I am so sorry Pihu,
if anything happened to you tonight than I don't know what I would've done.
From now onwards I will never leave your side. Do you forgive me? (Baby Pihu swayed
on the mattress kicking her feet in slow motion while sucking her hand and
stretching her body in her pink, long sleeved jumpsuit every so often; clueless
to the meaning behind her father's sincere words, she was dragged into the
conversation cleverly by Ram when Priya walked over to the bed with a small
stack of blankets.) What was that Pihu? You won't forgive me unless mumma
forgives me? (He paused and looked up into Priya's darting gaze, his brief
smile rejected by her body language) Well, she won't even maintain eye contact
with me, let alone speak to me… so how's that even possible? Pihu (by now Pihu
had lost all interest and was fixated on the colorful pillow case still sucking
her hand whenever she remembered) I know you are right… Papa is at fault
because I kept you away from your mumma but mumma also did the same tonight
when she wanted to keep me away from you…
Priya:
(speaking indirectly to Ram through Pihu, reverting back to the trend that she
started) Pihu when I brought you here everyone objected but your papa… If he
was really bothered than why didn't he make an effort to stop me from coming
here. (Finding yet another excuse to busy herself Priya grabbed the empty jug
from the nightstand and headed towards the door. But before she even reached
halfway across the room Ram arouse from behind Pihu's shadow and stood in front
of Priya posing a threat to her avoidance plans).
Priya:
Pihu tell your papa to move aside…
Ram:
Priya (he made it clear that he was finished with the indirect conversations) I
won't…
Priya:
(not meeting his eyes) I need to get some water…
Ram: (he mirrored the step that she took to walk
around him and grabbed her upper arms tightly when she tried the opposite
direction) Will you stop using excuses to avoid me… We need to
talk…Now…(Snatching the empty jug out of her hand, he placed it at the foot of
the bed)
Priya:
There's nothing left to say…
Ram:
(diving right into the heart of the issue) How could you have blatantly
disregarded my feelings and maintained the insult for 9 straight months? You
told me that you couldn't have any sexual relationship for 9 months and I
accepted that despite wanting it so badly. I respected your decision and
trusted that it was nothing more than a level of comfort issue. But what did I
get in return; my worst nightmare and you were the ringmaster.
Priya:
I was going to tell you Ram…
Ram:
When?
Priya:
I waited for you that evening before I suddenly went into labour… I wanted to
come clean because the guilt was unbearable. But by the time you got to the
hospital it was too late…
Ram:
Why didn't you tell me earlier?
Priya: I saw how happy you were...The first time you
heard I was pregnant you finally understood what it meant to be so happy that
all you can do is cry because smiling just doesn't cut it… How could I have
snatched that away from you and our family?
Ram:
So this was because of me? You wanted me to live with the guilt that unintentionally
I made it seem okay for you to lie for the sake of my happiness? If anything
had happened to you that night, how did you expect me to survive? (she tried to
object) No…listen to me… How would you feel if tomorrow I knowingly got into an
accident, running my car off of a cliff because someone gave me the option that
either I lived or my wife? And I obviously chose to die because I saw how happy
you were with Pihu and how badly you had wanted to be a mother and so without
informing you I made that crucial decision. How would you feel than?
Priya:
Ram, just stop it?
Ram:
Why should I stop? Does it hurt just thinking of life without me?
Priya:
Yes it does! (she spoke firmly but consciously, gauging her volume
appropriately given the environment)
Ram:
(gritting his teeth to swallow back tears but some drops still managed to slide
down his cheeks) I didn't have the chance of hearing that you were inviting
harm your way. Unfortunately, I saw it all unfolding in front of my eyes and
all I could do was pray even though I hadn't spoken to god in years. (his head
hung low as he gave into his outpour of emotions) I was so scared…There was
nothing I could do to fight for something that I wanted so badly…
Priya:
(collapsing on his chest she cried along with him) I am sorry… I am so sorry… (he
molded her closer to his body, kissing and caressing her head)
Ram:
I am also sor—(still embedded in his embrace Priya looked up at Ram and placed
her palm over his lips before he could complete his sentence.)
Priya:
you don't have to apologize… I didn't take anything that you put me through in
the past three weeks to heart. (she stretched her neck and kissed him deeply on
his heated lips and than wiped his cheeks dry with her palms; he followed suit
with one arm still clinging to her waist possessively… Priya's chin rested on
Ram's hooked index finger; he outlined the shape of her lips with his thumb and
leaned forward to smooch it when they heard a light smacking sound following it
to the bed where Pihu lay engrossed in sucking her fingers. After a three-week
long drought in their happiness, Ram and Priya shared a much-needed laugh on
Pihu's expense.
Priya:
I guess she's finally ready to eat now that you are here… I'll just grab the
milk I pumped, from the kitchen…
Ram:
(worried) She didn't eat yet?
Priya:
No she was on a hunger strike until she saw her Papa… (Ram felt a sense of
pride and a new feeling of worthiness that was unlike any other) I will be
back…
Pihu drank up all the milk
that Ram fed her, slowly drifting off to sleep in his arms. Removing the bottle
gently from her mouth Ram noticed that she began sucking in her sleep.
Ram:
(with much concern) Priya I think she is still hungry…
Priya:
(smiles at his innocence and care) No Ram, she often does that… Did you know that
my nipples get sore because your daughter would not want to leave for hours? Ma
told me that she does not actually drink for an hour but she likes sucking
because it calms her. (His expression still conveyed concern) Don't worry, she
is full now and when she is hungry, she will wake up.
Ram:
(Pihu startles in her sleep as Ram places her down on the bed and Priya wraps
her in a thin cotton blanket) Are your nipples really sore? (probing sincerely)
Priya:
(she blushed knowing where this was headed) Yes…A bit…
Ram:
(he walked over to the side of the bed where she was seated and gently caressed
her breast over her saree) Is there anything I can do to make them feel better?
(he asked genuinely, her cheeks, scorching a pink shade)
Priya:
No it will heal on it's own… I will be fine soon…
Ram:
I hope so… nine months is a long time to resist; I don't know how much longer I
can hold off. (he grinned and kissed her cheeks hovering over her lips as he
spoke) Get some sleep… I don't plan on letting you rest for atleast a week.
Priya:
(fusing her forehead lovingly to his) Pihu will already take care of that task…
Their smile was projected on
the backdrop of relief with robust and unity retuning to their lives again that
night. Now realizing the value of togetherness, they vowed never to let peace
and love be sent on exile for any length of time and for any sacrifice; it just
wasn't worth it.
Ram: How do you always know the
right things to say to make me feel better?
Priya: If I tell you my formula
than you won't need me anymore… (she encircled her arms around his neck)
Ram: I doubt it! (he leaned in
for a kiss, stopping just inches away from her parted and ready lips) Are you
okay with this?
Priya: I won't be okay if you
don't do anything (she hovered closer but he teasingly pulled back the same
distance that she came forward)
Ram: I won't mind if you're
uncomfortable…I mean I really want this but… (his fumbling with words alerted
her that he had his guard down and so before he could finish his sentence
structure, she kissed him with everything she had to offer.)
Priya: (she pecked his thirsty
lips speaking in between her gasps) Talk is cheap Mr. Ram Kapoor… If you really
want it than show me that you do…
That's all it took for Ram
to take over. They fanatically made love starting of slow but when these two
devoted lovers really got into it there were no rules, just lust. Any dam that
posed an obstacle to their passion broke in the heat of their bold action. Even
after all these years their desire for each other hadn't diminished the
slightest bit. That night she had never moaned so loud 'cause he had never
loved her so hard and long. In the aftershock of the earth-shattering climax
they held on to each other climbing down the ladder of a new high that they had
reached together. Priya was justly exhausted as if she had bit off more than
she could chew but with no regrets other than why they hadn't made love like
this sooner. Ram caught his breath soothed by the peacefulness on her face as
she slept. Pulling on his boxers he searched the ground for his pants
retrieving his phone from his pocket when his eyes fell on the only thing that
he ever was interested in reading. Pathetically trying to hold back his urge
not to read it he glanced several times at Priya and than her diary before
ultimately giving into his guilty pleasure.
Dear Diary,
I know you're not used to me
writing so early but I might not get the opportunity to write like I usually
would at night. Before this pen strikes the paper, you already know what's on
my mind, itney saalo ke rista jo hain humarey. But lately I just haven't found
the time to share the deep thoughts that foster within my soul. In all honesty,
life is getting harder to comprehend moving forward at a pace that doesn't
allow me to regroup my sanity. And the strange thing about all of this is that
I actually love it. So what's new? I am pregnant with my second child J… Can you believe it? I never dreamt that this would ever
be possible…Prior to meeting Ram I had planned to spend the rest of my life
alone and if my parents pushed too hard for my marriage, I guess I would have
settled for an average Joe. But destiny threw me such a curve ball that it left
me with no choice other than closing my eyes tight and swinging the oak bat as
hard as I could. Now that I open my eyes to see the results of the risk that I
took, all I can say is that it couldn't have been a better homerun. There was
no way to hand pick the best combination from a palette of colours to paint a
close enough picture to what my life is now. So hats off to you destiny, I
submit to your cause; if it were up to me to plan my perfect life I wouldn't
have been happy at all. Aware of your hazy nature I still dare to say…Blessed
will be the day life hails anarchy, blessed will be the lessons I will learn
from putting together the pieces to my shattered sense of being and blessed
will be the outcome of any event so long as I'm blessed to have my family next
to me; I know I will be fine… I will close by reciting a common saying, "Life
is not about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself…" But I disagree;
life is about losing yourself in cataclysmic personal storms …I have never been
happier than in the chaotic journey to finding myself and I have never been
more bored than finding out who I am and trying to maintain that. Perhaps
that's why I am not only a daughter, not only a sister, not only a wife; I am a
multilayered human being who seems so composed but everyday I see a new side to
myself that incrementally changes my life.
That's all for now…
Alvida, who knows if we'll
meet again? Even if we do, who knows if I'll be the same person that once wrote
before…
Yours truly,
Priya Ram Kapoor (that's one
thing that I pray will never change, the next time I reintroduce myself to you)
P.S. Ram! STOP READING MY
DIARY… (Ram glanced over at Priya, his heart raced in his chest until he saw
that she was still fast asleep…) Just ask me… And I will gladly divulge my
deepest thoughts to you! ;)
Ram smirked running his
fingers over the red lipstick mark placed next to the last sentence…
Repositioning the black hard cover book on the nightstand where he had found it
cracked open slightly with a pen wedged in the bindings, Ram crawled back into
bed close to the source of his contentment. The movement of the mattress
alerted her to his presence and while in her sleep she fidgeted her way towards
him cushioning her head against his bare chest until she was wrapped securely
in his arms. Caressing her belly with the backs of his fingers he admired her
beauty not realizing when he had fallen asleep, fully satiated and mentally
prepared for the uncertain, yet assuring life ahead of them…
❤️THE END!❤️
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