Chapter 4

-Nive-

@-Nive-

Chapter 4

She woke up to her phone's alarm sound. But the phrase woke up' doesn't mean she was sleeping. If you could call closing your eyes and getting lost in thoughts while lying on bed as sleeping, you can say that she was sleeping the whole night. It was 6 am and she was too tired to get up. She wondered whether thinking could really make someone so tired. But she had to get out of the bed, get ready, have breakfast and go to college. She was having her sandwich when she got a call from Purab. "Purab", she said his name as she saw it on the screen. The last time she talked to him was when he came to her house to convince her to go back to MM. She picked up his call and she felt happy as she could hear the happiness in his voice. He told her that he had a happy news for her.

"Abhi is doing a concert in Pune", he said happily.

"He is coming here", the thought flashed the moment she heard Purab. She should have been happy but she wasn't. She was gripped by fear and nervousness.

"Di, are you there?", asked Purab as he didn't hear her talk for the past few minutes.

"Yes. Tell Purab", she told him as she stood up.

"Are you still mad at him?", he asked her suddenly.

"What? No...I..", she couldn't finish her sentence as Purab said that Abhi has come and he would talk to her later.

She wondered why he asked her that question. She wasn't angry with him. Why would she be? Most of all, how could she be angry with him? She thought whether everyone else was also thinking that she was angry with her husband. She wasn't angry. She was just plain tired. She was just tired of all the things that she had to go through for a happy life. She didn't want to struggle so much. "If a happy married life was not meant for her, let it be", she thought.. After everything that she had undergone and made her loved ones undergo, did she get happiness? On the very day where she thought every trouble ended, she could only see hurt and pain in his face. In fact, she saw it in everyone's face. There was not relief but pain. She knew it would take some time to forget what happened and in the end, everyone would be happy. But what was the guarantee that it was the end. What if another problem arises? She was not confident about herself, him or their relation. It's true, that they loved each other but they always failed to understand the other because there was always a veil of misunderstanding between them.

She realized that it was getting late as she saw the half eaten sandwich on her plate. She rushed to the bus stop and boarded a crowded bus.

***

Abhi was sitting in his music room quietly composing songs since early morning. He told Robin to not let anyone disturb him. He found it difficult to concentrate on music as he was remembering only Pragya whenever he wanted to write something or compose a tune.

He looked at her photo and decided to embrace his obstacle. He decided to compose songs for her. He thought of writing all that he wanted to tell her in the form of songs. It would make things easy for him. He need not meet her or talk to her. He can pour his heart out with the help of his songs. He believed that she would definitely come to his concert. She would at least come to the see him even if she didn't want to come to his concert.

***

She didn't want to be vulnerable again. She didn't want to fight for anything. She didn't want hurt anyone. She didn't want to live a life full of extreme ups and extreme downs. She knew her happiness was with him. She knew she couldn't escape from the fact that her love for him kept increasing day by day as much she tried to go away from him. She didn't want her life to be like an ECG. She wanted it to be a straight line even if it meant a dead heart. She didn't want anything other than peace even if it means giving up her happiness. She knew it would mean that she snatched his happiness too but his life would be better without her was what she believed.

She became aware of her surroundings when the bus driver applied brakes suddenly and people were thrown from their seats but it was too late as the driver lost control. The bus tumbled off the road and rolled over. When she opened her eyes, she was lying over a window in the bus. The broken pieces of the glass window were hurting her back, head and hands. She searched for her glass but couldn't find them as she had difficulty realizing the sides of the bus and the bus had landed with its wheels on the right side . As she saw people trying to get out of the bus, she pulled herself up and got out of the bus. Her forehead was bleeding as she was thrown to the left side of the bus when the driver lost control of the bus. People nearby rushed to help and someone helped her get into the Ambulance. A nurse treated her wounds while she saw people around her. There were kids, women, men, old people - all kinds of people in pain. There was complete chaos and distress. She saw a doctor declaring someone dead. Pragya couldn't stand the sight and started choking up. After the treatment, the nurse asked Pragya whether anyone came for her to which she replied no. She thanked the nurse and started walking.

After some time, Pragya somehow managed to get herself to her apartment through an Auto. She told the driver at the entrance to wait while she climbed up to her apartment to get the money. She opened her apartment, searched for money, got them and walked down the stairs. She was normal until she gave the driver the far and came back to her apartment. An old lady's head bleeding, a teenage boy with a fractured hand, a woman with glass pieces on her stomach and everyone's cries of pain scared her. She had a sudden fear of dying alone. She cuddled herself on bed and cried silently. The imagery of patients in the hospital was haunting her. She wanted to feel alive. She questioned herself what would have happened if she didn't survive the accident. What if she had died? Mom would be broken beyond repair. Her Daadi and Abhi's Daadi would become sad and depressed. They were already broken by Bulbul's demise. How could have they managed if she had been dead? How would he react? Would he be able to management? And most of all, what would she do if she died? She wanted to why she was so afraid this time. She had been under life threatening situations before. Why was she so afraid now? The difference is that she had him in all other situations but not this time. She either had him by her side or had the hope of having him by her side. Was he the only hope of her life? What happened to her dreams? What happened to the things she wanted to do for herself before marriage?

She heard someone knock her door. She struggled to get up and slowly walked towards the door. As time progressed, the knocking got louder and faster frightening her. She opened the door only to see a worried Suresh. As soon as she opened the door and came inside as she showed him the way. He asked her whether she was okay. She lied that she was fine. He asked her about the wounds on her head, face and head. She told him that she got into a bus accident. He got concerned for her but she said she was alright then. He told that he just wanted to know whether she got into any problem as she didn't come to college and her phone was also unreachable. She realized that she had lost her phone during the accident. She told him about the accident and Suresh started scolding the bus driver for driving irresponsibly and endangering passengers' lives. Pragya told him that it was not his fault as some car tried to overtake the bus suddenly and the driver lost control of the bus when he tried to avoid the bus and car from hitting.

She asked whether he could give her his phone and he readily gave her his phone. She called her mom to do what she felt was the right thing.

"Maa", she said as Sarla Maa picked Pragya's call. She added that she was worried about her from the morning and saw some accident news in TV and that got her more worried. After enquiring about Pragya's well-being, Sarla Maa thought about speaking about Abhi but she stopped herself from talking about the topic as Pragya's grandma has told her to give Pragya some space and time. So she started asking about Pragya's college. Pragya was surprised that her mom hadn't talked about Abhi yet. It gave her a gentle push to think that she wasn't wrong in deciding to go to the conference. When she told her mom that she would be coming to Mumbai next week for a conference and would be staying with them for a couple of days, Sarla Maa was beaming with happiness.

Sarla Maa asked Pragya about calling from an unknown number and she said that she lost her phone, her mom started scolding Pragya for being irresponsible. She had the thought of telling about the accident to mom for a minute, but then stopped as her mother would panic if she said that. Suresh asked Pragya the reason for lying to Sarla Maa. Pragya reasoned her mom's health and she didn't want her mother to get tensed for her. He asked her to take rest.

"How are you feeling now?", he asked.

"Fine. Just need to sleep", she replied.

"Are you sure you are going to the conference in this condition?"

"I am alright now. What happened to you? You were telling me to the conference all these days and now you seem to be having thoughts against going", she asked him a question in turn.

"Your wish", he said.

Before leaving the apartment, "Call me if you need anything", Suresh said.

"I need something to call", she replied and he understood that she didn't have a phone. He offered to leave his phone there until she gets another one. She said that she can manage and politely refused his offer. She thanked him and he left.

***

She woke up the next morning hearing someone knock the door. As soon as she opened, she saw someone with their back facing the door.

"Don't keep calling me. I have come to meet a friend. I need not tell you everything. That's it", he ended the call and turned around. She had trouble breathing. Her whole body went numb. Her wish was granted even before she realized it.

"What happened to you?", he asked her as he saw her bandages and she just fainted in his arms.

Chapter 5