Chapter 1

Alia.q

@Alia.q

Hey everyone, so like most of you the current track is truly annoying me and so I had to write out something that has been stuck in my head for days. This is my first written piece and I tried my best to include everything we’ve all been dying to see from confrontations to breakdowns to Kairav opening his mouth😁 

Also thank you to Illuminatus for being my first reader and encouraging to post💕

So Welcome to the first part of 

Breaking Free

 1: Breaking Down

Akshara Goenka had suffered through more than her fair share of pain, and although each tragedy had her coming out stronger than before, it also left cracks. Cracks that slowly started covering the entirety of her bruised and battered heart. Along with each crack, she started losing pieces of herself and yet for the sake of her family she glued herself back together and held tightly onto hope.

Hope that one day everything would get better, hope that her family would see her and actually understand her pain, hope that her princess, her Aru would return to her. But right at this moment, she had given up.

She stood defeated, only half hearing Harshvardhan Birla apologize to her family and praise her sister for her falsely claimed heroics, staring blankly at Arohi. Praying her sister hadn’t done what it looked like she had. Praying that the small sliver of hope Arohi had given her today wouldn’t be destroyed so quickly and mercilessly.

Earlier today had her more hopeful than ever that her relationship with her sister could be mended and her promise to Sirat Ma kept. 

A ray of hope had hit her hours after their escape when Akshara realized that Arohi had hugged her and shed tears for her. Her heart soared with happiness, her sister, her Aru did care for her and was actually scared for her life. Aru refused to let her enter the fire stricken hut and afterwards had hugged her with relief. That had to mean something didn’t it? 

Maybe her near death experience gave her clarity and more reasons to live than anything else ever had. It was for Akshu, a day of epiphanies. Seeing Abhimanyu unconscious, covered in soot caused a fear so intense that for a second she questioned every single decision she’d made since meeting him. She had realized how stupid this whole ‘moving on’ idea was, after all how would she ever truly live and be happy without him. 

How and when had a man she barely knew stopped being only a part of her life and become a part of her, she hadn’t ever realized. It was in that fire that could have ended everything, that Akshara promised herself and Abhi that should they survive, she would fight for their relationship. She would fight for Abhi and she would make up for all the of pain she had caused him. After all Zindagi ka kya bharosa, it was too short to spend suffering and yearning for things within your reach.

And between these two epiphanies, her heart beat faster than ever as for the first time in weeks she could see the light at the end of a very dark, haunting tunnel. Maybe it was possible to have both her love and her sister? Maybe almost losing her life had melted Arohis heart finally? 

It was with these thoughts running through her mind that she waited with bated breath for her little sister. She would talk to Arohi, make her understand before she gave her full attention to how she would propose and make it up to Abhi. Surely after seeing how much love was there between them, Arohi would not become a barrier and still attempt to win Abhimanyu. 

She was also itching to ask about Abhimanyus health. He had to be okay, she had gotten him out and Aru had helped him medically but how had he left without meeting her once? And even now, he hadn’t called her once to check on her? It was so out of character for the caring and protective Abhimanyu she knew. Was he angry? Had he meant it when he said he’d move on now? Was she entirely too late in her realizations? 

The storm of thoughts and emotions swirling in her mind and heart were put on pause as she spotted Arohi slowly stepping through the main doors, eyes shifting constantly, hands rubbing together, covered in soot and an expression of arrogance with a tinge of guilt. Seeing her like that had once again brought concern to the forefront of Akshara’s heart. 

“Aru tu theek hai na?” Akshara rushed towards her little sister, all the while checking her from head to toe, making sure she was uninjured. Before Arohi could even open her mouth, the whole family gathered in the hall. 

“Aap yaha kya kar rahe hai Dr. Birla?” Asked an already agitated Manish Goenka and Akshara finally noticed Abhimanyus Father entering her home. Manish had had enough of these pointless argumentative interactions with the Birlas and constantly hoped each conversation would be the last but here he was yet again. It scared him to think that somehow the fate of the two families who could not ever get along, were connected.

Akshara stared confused between her sister and the father of the man she loved. 

Sir, as Abhi called him, seemed different than usual and as he began his speech, every word of it left Akshara feeling more and more disappointed. It wasn’t that Arohi had taken credit for saving Abhimanyus life, Akshara had always given Arohi everything her heart had desired without Arohi ever needing to ask. What broke her heart was that after everything they had gone through today, Arohi had gone right back to plotting and hating her.

As she finally understood the situation, Akshara could feel a tightness in her heart and throat. With the whole family busy with Arohi and Harshvardan,  Akshara slowly started backing away. She could feel her breath shallowing out and her heart pounding in her ears. 

Away from the group, she finally fell to her knees, gasping for air. It hit her like a truck that no matter what happened, Arohi would never accept her, would never love her the way Akshara loved Arohi. Akshara stuggling to keep her eyes open, wondered whether Arohi would feel even slightly sad had she died in the fire today or whether she would be celebrating her clear path to a loveless marriage with Abhimanyu. She knew despite how her family behaved sometimes that they would mourn her loss deeply before moving on but would Arohi feel even a pinch of regret for how their relationship had turned out? 

With her vision blurring and her losing touch with reality she barely noticed arms holding her steady and a worried voice calling out her name. 

All she could see was a little Arohi crying and blaming Akshara for the loss of her mother. The image blurred together to then form the sisters, older but still fighting, always fighting. Another quick transition brought her to the day Arohi had caused a big enough scene and Akshara had finally decided to leave the family home for the peace and happiness of her family. Each scene brought more tears and anguish to Aksharas face. Akshara struggled to breath, she struggled to see or hear anything but the heartbreaking truth behind her relationship with the sister she loved so completely. All of a sudden, she could hear a strong but warm hum. Her favourite song, lag ja gale. The hum got louder, stronger and although not musically accurate, it soothed her bruised heart more than the most talented, gifted of voices could.

This time as her visions started fading, she began seeing moments, rather memories that she cherished secretly. She could see how terrified Abhimanyu had been seeing her struggling to breath at the resort. He had rushed to her as fast as possible and dropped to his knees, keeping her head on his shoulder and his arms around her. And despite her terrible state, she had felt safe and cared for. When he had asked what caused her to have an attack so severe, she would have snorted had it not been right after the attack. With him by her side, that was the fastest she had been able to recover ever. She remembered their first proper meeting and proudly stating that she is happy as she is. Her panic attacks, though, were the one thing she would change about herself if she could because as much as she hated suffering through them alone, she would hate to worry her family even more. 

But Abhimanyu had managed to make her feel not so weak and certainly not as lonely. Even now, with only his memories he was able to bring a peace to Akshara that she had only ever felt with him nearby. With each memory and the sound of his voice asking her to breath, she could feel herself relaxing more and more. 

“Akshu, saas leh bacha, come on Akshu in… and out…” Kairavs voice finally broke through the fog in her brain. Her brothers were always her biggest supports and it was the last push she needed to finally open her teary eyes again and get a hold of herself.

As she looked at her brother she could see how worried he was and she realized what a mess she really was at that moment. Tears trailed down her cheeks and her hair a mess from all the pulling but she couldn’t really care how she looked when she had finally lost hope. She had finally given up on her one dream since childhood.  She had finally realized that nothing she did, no matter how much love she would shower on Arohi, it would make no difference. She took a deep breath, calming herself enough to be able to talk as Kairav wiped the tears running down her face with his handkerchief. 

“Bhaiya, haar gayi main aur jeet gayi Arohi ki nafrat. Aaj samaj mein agaya ki Arohi ke liye mein kuch bhi karu, jiyun ya maru, usse koi farq nahi parega. Uske zid ke samne mera pyar haar gaya…” she sighed taking deep breaths to replenish her lungs of the sustenance it had been deprived of. 

Kairav shook his head and sighed and pulled Akshu into a warm hug. He knew this day would come. His sisters had only one thing in common and it was their zid. Despite Arohis zid of breaking any relationship with Akshara, it was Aksharas zid that had kept this relation hanging by a thread. But no matter how hard a person tries, no relationship can work if only one person is making efforts. 

Akshara had reached her limit as Kairav knew she would one day and as upset as Kairav was to see the deteriorating equation between his sisters, he was almost happy and hopeful that perhaps now Akshara could learn to live for herself. 

“Akshu, kya hua aaj camp mein? Abhimanyu ki jaan khatre mein ho aur tum kuch na karo, yeh main manne ko tayar nahi hu.” Asked Kairav in an attempt to understand the situation. It was important to know what had happened to finally break the last thread holding his sisters together. 

Akshu, in almost a trance starting explaining the accident. How she had noticed the fire and connected the missing children. How Arohi refused to let her in the hut to save the children and how Abhimanyu had stopped her and entered the hut himself. 

“Bachon ke nikalne ke baad jab Abhimanyu nahi aaya toh aisa laga jaisi aag mein woh nahi, main fasee thi. Usse kaise kuch hone de sakti thi kyun ki agar usse kuch ho jata toh main bhi nahi bachti.” Akshara remembering that moment, could feel the same fear she had felt while she stood in front of the hut yelling out for Abhimanyu. 

Seeing the expression on Aksharas face reminded him of how readily she faced her humiliation just to save his reputation and career and this was his life they were talking about. Kairav could only imagine how fiercely his tiny sister would have fought the fire to save her love.

“Arohi ki rokne ke bawajud bhi main ander gayi aur kisi na kisi tarah Abhimanyu ko bacha liya. Bahar sabse pehle Arohi hi mili aur uski parwa dekh maine uski baat maan li ki mujhe kahi aur bhetna chahiye, duah se door. Abhimanyu phir bhi behosh tha toh maine Arohi ko uske paas bhej diya usse dekhne.” Akshara sighed and took another deep breath. The day had been exhausting and it wasn’t even close to being done. 

“Mujhe nahi pata tha ki woh is baat ka fayda utayegi bhaiya. Hum waha aag mein maar sakte te lekin Arohi per iss baat ka zara bhi asar nahi hua.” She whispered the last bit while finally looking Kairav straight in the eyes. 

“Usse ab bhi sirf mujhe harana hai, mujhse mera sab kuch cheen na hai. Aur ab toh main bhi thak gayi hu usse samjha kar. Bura toh is baat ka lag raha hai ki Sirat Ma se kiya hua waada nahi nibha payi.”

Kairav didn’t know who to be more upset at. Akshara for running into a burning hut knowing that her family had faced enough loss to last them a lifetime or Arohi for not realizing what her decisions were leading to. In the end all Kairav could do was chuckle sadly as he remembered their parents, especially his Naira mumma. Akshu was so much like her that sometimes he felt like a terrible brother to Arohi for having a special corner in his heart especially dedicated to Akshu. 

“Akshu, tum dono se zyada main jaanti hu Ma ko. Aur yakeen kar unhe tumpar and tumhari mehnat par garv hota. Aur woh yeh toh bilkul nahi chahti ki tu Aru keliye apni haar khushi qurban karde. Ulta agar woh yaha hoti toh woh khud Aru ko samjati.” Kairav gave Akshu a meaningful look as Akshu lowered her eyes and wished her Sirat Ma was here. This had been a point of conflict for years between the two. 

“Itne saalon se tujhe yahi toh samjhane ki khoshish kar raha tha. Bachpan se aaj tak tu Aru ki har batameezi bardasht kar rahi hai. Na khud usse kuch bolti ho na mujhe bolne dete ho.” Kairav turned and grabbed Akshus hand between both of his.

“Tujhe Arohi ko dard dena manzoor nahi tha isiliye bachpan mein hum sabse larkar tumne yeh faisla kiya tha ki Arohi ko uski nani ke bhare mein koi taane nahi marega aur na hi sachayi batayega. Aur na hi koi usse tum dono ke beech ke problems ko lekar daatega. Ab toh sabne is bhareme sochna bhi band kardiya. Par kab tak Arohi ko bachate rahegi. Issi baat ka toh woh fayda utha thi hai aur tu usse uthane deti hai.” Kairav hoped this would be the end of this. It was important to show Arohi the mirror if they wanted any chance for Arohi to mature and reform. 

“Acha, Arohi ki baat thori der keliye chorte hai. Ek baat batau tujhe?” He finally broke his silence and smiled a little. Pulling Akshara to the wall, the siblings sat beside each other, resting their backs.

Akshara, exhausted both mentally and physically could only nod.

“Aaj jo hua, sunkar Papa aur Mumma ki yaad aagaye.” 

Mumma, Akshara thought. She had heard many stories and seen many home movies about her mumma, Naira Goenka. Despite not having her memories, she sometimes truly wished she was able to know her and spend more time with her. She wished she was strong enough and smart enough to handle her relationships as wisely as her Mumma had. This thought was often quickly followed with guilt as she realized what that would mean for her Sirat ma. She closed her eyes in guilt and leaned her head on her brothers shoulder. 

Kairav continued, “Jis din humare saath woh hadsa hua tha na, Papa ne bhi Mumma ko bachane ke liye apne jaan khatre mein dalkar unhe bachaya tha. Dono bus se nikal hi chuke the ki last moment par…” Kairav could see everything happening in front of his eyes as he spoke. 

It had been years but the pain of losing his most favourite person had not lessened and he didn’t think it ever would. It had become a part of him now. A part that only grew as he continued to lose his father and Sirat ma too.

“Papa ne Mumma ko bachane keliye ghirti bus char gaye, aur Mumma ne Papa ko bachane keliye unhe aage push kiya aur khud… aur sirf itna hi nahi. Aisi bahot saare yaadien hai jaha unka ek dusre keliye pyar ko dekh kar sab hairan ho jate. Akshu aisa pyar har kisi ke naseeb mein nahi hota hai. Aur agar kismat se mil bhi jaye toh usse kaske pakarna chahiye.” 

Akshara knew this would be coming. Since Kairav had come to know about the intensity of her feelings during the court case, he had constantly been asking her to rethink her decision. Hearing about the love her parents shared had only strengthened her resolve to fight for her relationship with Abhi. Akshara finally smiled, albeit a little one but it was enough for Kairav to understand. 

“Aag mein jab woh fasa tha, tab hi mujhe ehsaas hua ki main kitna galat kar rahi hu uske saath. Aur usse behosh dekh kar maine wada kiya tha ki agar hum bach gaye toh apne liye na sahi par uske liye zaroor larungi. Zindagi ka koi bharosa nahi hota, hai na bhaiya aur aaj usse kuch ho jaata toh usse hamesha aisa lagta ki mere liye uski koi ehmiyet nahi hai jab ki sach yeh hai ki jitna pyar woh mujhse karta hai utna hi main bhi usse karti hu.” Akshara felt so light, finally accepting and announcing her feelings out loud. She wondered if this was how Abhimanyu felt every time he openly declared his feelings for her.

“Ab hui na baath. Mujhe to lagta hai Abhimanyu khushi se pagal hone wala hai, tujhe kya lagta hai Akshu?” Despite the current situation Kairav couldn’t help but tease his little sister. 

It had been so long since he had seen a genuine smile on Aksharas face, so long since she had done something only for her own happiness. Kairav would support anything that kept Akshara happy like this. 

Aksharas smile grew as she blushed. Her smile disappeared and she turned to look at her brother, wanting his honest opinion on the matter. 

“Aaj camp mein jo hua, usse mujhe thori si umeed mili thi ki Arohi aur meri beech sab theek ho sakta hai bhaiya lekin jis tarah se woh umeed toote hai, bahot taklif, bahot dard hua mujhe…ab samaj mein aaraha hai ki Abhimanyu ko kaisa laga hoga haar baar.” She sighed painfully  before continuing. 

“Main khud ko uski madad karne se rok nahi payi lekin yeh toh socha nahi ki haar madad ke saath uski kitni umeede jaagi hongi aur maine khud kitni baar uski umeed ko thora hai… woh mujhe maaf to karega na bhaiya?”, Akshara asked worriedly. 

All of a sudden a thought entered her mind and she stared at Kairav with so much fear that automatically had Kairav stop his reply and fear what was to come.