Rewrite the Stars Ongoing G

Hindi Version

By TereNishaan (@dhun.laagi)

"Jab bhi meri aankhein tumhe dekhti hai Tara, mujhe aise lagta hai ki Dhruv Tara ek shabd hai.

Tara ke bina Dhruv adhoora hai.."

The moment is mesmerising, he touches her cheek with his hand, to assure her it's all happening for real.

Her eyes widen, while glistening with tears yet to fall, and she steps back from the touch.

"Nahi, nahi, nahi.."

"Tara, meri baat suno-"

He doesn't get half way through her name, when she speaks, her eyes a little wild.

"Tum humse prem karte ho?"

It is almost like a whisper, but she sounds a little angry, and he can already feel himself shaking his head, because that's not how this is supposed to go. Right? Love isn't supposed to be like this. This hard and painful and complicated. He's not supposed to fall in love with someone he knows is impossible to get because they are centuries apart. But here she is, and there he is, and she looks like she's fighting tears, and his hands ball up into fists. Like he can fight the obvious, the inevitable. But he's tried that, he's been trying that ever since he came here, and he now knows there's no point. She too fell in love -she doesn't even seem to know when- but he's tired of pretending she didn't.

Her voice is quiet after that. He hopes it's reassuring or soothing or something, and he takes a step towards her again, like she's a little kitten that might spook if he pushes his limits. She's quick to take a step back, her hand out as if to stop him, to warn him off.

"Yeh prem nahi hai..yeh jo bhi hai, iske paschaat humme yeh hi pe rok dena chahiye."

Dhruv frowns at this.

"With all due respect, main bhi yeh nirnaay le sakta hoon ki mujhe prem hua hai ya nahi, aur main usse kis prakar darshaana chahta hoon."

She tosses her hand up.

"Nahi. Yadi tum apne bhavnaye aise vyakt karne ki iccha rakhte ho, toh kadapi nahi. Tum humse prem nahi kar sakte. Iss katha ko yeh hi samapt hona hoga."

"Rajkumariji, aap toh aise baat kar rahi ho jaise ki aapne hi yeh story matlab kahaani likhi hai, jaise aap jaanti ho iska anth kaise hona hai, but you're so wrong about this. Aap ismein galat ho."

He stares at her for a moment, and he can clearly sense how she's scared of admitting the truth, but he's not, not anymore.

"Look, I love you. Main saare sansaar ki kasam khaa ke kehta hoon ki main sirf tumse hi pyaar karta hoon. Kya isse tumhari shankha door hogi ki tumhara Dhruv kabhi bhi jhoot nahi bolta hai?"

She looks at him with so much of rage, as if she will turn him to ashes with the fire in her eyes.

"Chikitsak Dhruv, savdhaan. Ab tum jo bhi kahoge woh tumhare liye haanikarak siddh ho sakta hai."

But he doesn't want to stop. He's been holding onto these words for too long now, and they need to be said.

"Mujhe toh ab yaad bhi nahi hai woh samay jab mujhe tumse prem nahi tha." he admits.

"Jab maine dekha ki tum apne Bhaiji ke liye samay sadi ke paar aake inki mehnat kar rahi thi, mere parivaar ke saare kadve shabdon ko andekha karke phir bhi tum apne lakshya pe atal rahi. Jab jhooti shaadi ki baat aayi tab bhi tumne itni honesty se, itni nishtha se mera dhyaan rakha. Mujhe tumse baat karna bahut accha lagta hai, kyunki tumhare paas mere har prashna ka aisa uttar hota hai ki mere vicharon ko ek nayi disha mil jaati hai. Tumhari chinta dekhta hoon toh aise lagta hai ki jo ek samay pe seedha saadha shant sa Dhruv tha jiski zindagi mein sirf uska parivaar basta tha, waha uska bhi ek koi rehta hai, jo bas uska hai. Mujhe finally aise lagne laga ki main zinda hoon. Aur jis tarah se tum mujhe apne naadaniyon se hasati ho, mere chehre pe muskurahat laati ho, aur tumhe toh sabki raksha bhi karna aata hai, haan, tumhe shayad kisi ki aavashyakta nahi, tum andar se itni mazboot ho, lekin koi bhi agar meri jagah hota toh woh bhi khud ko tumse prem karne se rok nahi paata."

He takes another step forward, staring into her eyes, and he takes it as a good sign that she doesn't step back. He closes his eyes, sighs and continues.

"And I don't care if you think this is supposed to go some other way. This is OUR story. You and me are the whole damn series, and I don't know how it ends, I don't know where it's going. But I don't want to miss out on anymore of it. Main itni dur Bhaiji ki chikitsa karne zaroor aaya hoon, lekin SIRF tumhare wajah se, tumhare liye aaya hoon. Mujhe aur kuch nahi chahiye, bas tumhara saath dedo, meri zindagi safal ho jayegi.

She shakes her head.

"Ismein koi sandeh nahi hai ki tum hamare jeevan mein ek devdoot ke madhyam se aaye, aur tumse udaarhruday wala vyakti humme pure 21vi sadi mein nahi mila. Tumne humare paksh mein jitni ladaaiyan ladi hai, chahe woh apne parivaar se ho, ya samaaj se, uske liye hum tumhare bahut aabhari hai. Humare mann mein tumhare liye bahut adar bhi hai, hum toh tumhe apna sabse priy mitra samajhte hai. Tumne jo humare, Bhaiji, aur iss rajya ke hitt mein samarthan diya hai woh prashansa yogya hai, parantu tum yeh nahi bhool sakte ki hum abhi bhi Vallabhgarh ki Rajkumari Tara Priya hai, aur hum apne sadi ke niyamon se bandhit hai. Hum tumhe apne saath Bhaiji ke vachanpurti ke liye laayi the, usse adhik ki apeksha rakhna humare liye sambhav nahi hai. Humne apne Pitaji ke rajya ki sewa karne ka prann liya hai ayurvedic chikitsak banke, humme apne Bhaiji aur Bhabhishree ke vivah ka prabandh karna hai, phir Senapatiji ko saare pramanon ke saath karaavas bhi pahuchaana hai. Humne jo tumhari sadi se seekha hai uske aadhaar par humme bahut badlaav laana hai iss rajya mein, aur abhi kewal apna uttardaitva pura karna hai. Ek acchi putri, ek acchi behen banne ke prayaas mein hum tumhari premika toh kadha bhi nahi ban paayenge. Aur tum yeh bhi vichar karlo, kya yeh tumhare parivar ke prati chhal nahi hoga? Unhein bhi toh tumhari aavashaykta hai. Tumhe toh itne samay paschaat apne Pitashree mile hai. Uske liye bhi hum shamapraarthi hai, yeh humare Pitaji ke bhram ka parinaam hai. Humme apne parivaar ka aur doshi mat banao, hum aisa daag apne daman se dho nahi paayenge."

"Tumne kaha tha ki tum mujhpe 'swayam se adhik' vishwas karti ho. Kya woh vishwas itna nahi ki hum iss samay sadi ko bhi paar kar sake? Maine toh suna tha ki pyaar ka rang ek baar chadh jaaye toh kabhi utarta nahi, aur koi bhi kasauti se darta bhi nahi. Jo bhi hoga dekha jayega, bas ek baar tum bhi koshish karlo."

"Yaha behbheet hone ka prashanna hi nahi hai. Bachpan mein Maa ne humme Radha Krushna ki prem katha sunayi thi. Kanhaji apne Radhaji ke saath raas khelne toh pratidin aate the, lekin unka milna niyati mein likha nahi hai, kyunki unke pruthvi pe aane ke uddeshya bahut bhinna the. Yeh gyaat hone ke paschaat bhi woh puri sacchayi se apna karm bhogkar, dharti pe karya sampanna karke ek din samapt ho gaye. Radhaji toh Kanhaji ki ardhangini bhi kabhi nahi ban payi. Iska yeh arth toh nahi ki unke prem mein ya vishwaas mein koi khot tha, Radha Krushna toh har yug mein prem ka prateek hai, hum unki pooja saath mein karte hai."

"Ab ismein bhagwan kaha se beech mein aa gaye? Aur tumhe pata hai main aisi baaton pe vishwaas nahi rakhta hoon. Hamare milne mein toh aisi koi vipatti mujhe dikhayi nahi de rahi hai. Puri reeti rivajon ke saath, sabki anumati se main tumhe apne saath le jaa sakta hoon. Hum Navrangvan mein apna sansaar basa sakte hai. Waha se tum 17vi sadi mein apna karya karte rehna, main jab chahe 21vi sadi se yaha pravaas kar sakta hoon. Har samasya ka samadhan toh hota hi hai, woh bas thoda gehrayi mein jaakar dhoondhna padhta hai."

"Murkhon jaisi baatein mat karo. Bhootkaal ko badloge toh vartaman aur bhavishya par bhi parinaam hota hai. Yeh jo samay ka chakravyuh hai isse khilwaad karne se aur na jaane kya anarth ho sakta hai. Hum dono bahut vibhinna sankskrutiyon se aate hai, iska koi bhavishya nahi ho sakta hai. Hum yeh katay nahi keh sakte ki tumne humare mann mein jo sthaan grahan kar liya hai usse hum agyaat hai, lekin inn bhavnayon ke kaaran hum do shatabdiyon ke hith ko bhi nahi bhul sakte hai. Yeh humme, Vallabhgarh ki Rajkumari Tara Priya ko shobha nahi dega. Kintu hum yeh avashya vachan de sakte hai ki tumhare alaawa humme aur kisi se ab aise abhaas nahi hoga."

"Mujhe khali vachan nahi chahiye, isse mujhe santushti nahi mil sakti hai."

"Aur hum bhi swayam ke liye nischit ki hui seemaye nahi laang sakte. Tum isse hamara hatt hi samajh lo. Humme mahaanta ki murat nahi banna, parantu humare liye kartavya hamesha se sabse adhik mahatva rakhta tha aur aage bhi rakhega."

Dhruv closed his eyes for a second in frustration, turned to the window and took a deep breath. Then he opened his eyes to step closer and convince Tara.

But she's already gone. And he's imagined this moment, so many times, because he knew in his heart that it was an asambhav prem, but it is so much worse than anything he could've thought of. A lone tear escapes his face and then he cannot help but collapse to the ground and bury his head in his hands.