Today’s episode, celebrated parenthood. Sorry boys, Iam going to be focusing on motherhood today, not because it’s more important than being a dad, but because of mothers like Meenakshi Rajvansh.
A mom is a walking miracle. She is an angel in disguise picking us up when we fall low, helping us through our tough spots, caring for us when we are sick, and holding so much love in her heart that is of the purest, unadulterated kind. Mothers are essentially a walking manual to all the problems that we have in life. “A mom is a hurricane in perfect power.”
Sometimes, in being a single mom who has battled so much to keep the family going the trials and tribulations that this mother may have faced, will turn her insecurities into chains and the love that is supposed to be unconditional will demand.
That’s exactly what Meenakshi Rajvansh is doing today. All her planning, plotting aside, she has immense love for Abir and Kunal and her family too. For a moment today when she was talking to BM and the latter today talked about the accident, her first reaction was:
“Maa Ambe, ussey tou kuch nahin hua?” Who is this ussey? Mishti? Abir? Kunal? My brain continuously plays dreams of her saying that for Mishti, caring about her, because with Meenu by her side, Mishti can win any battle. It will also show the beautiful relationship of a mom-in-law taking care of her daughter and is in essence the truest Mamta that BM talked about.
You just need that ehsaas in your heart and voila you know that you too can be a mom.That ehsaas touched Meenu when she heard of Mishti’s predicament with Karan in her PTSD phase. If the writers decide to steer the story in this direction Mishti will find a second mom in Meenu and she truly deserves one and Abir will be more vocal in his love towards Meenu which will heal Meenu’s broken heart.
A mother can take the place of anyone in the family but a mom’s place - no one else can take. To quote William Thackeray, “Mom is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children.”
But why does he say little children is the point we should ask ourselves. This is because as we grow up, we become more independent in our thoughts and actions and the love for our parents stays and grows, but we never feel the need to express it frequently. We assume that a mother knows. What we fail to comprehend is as parents get older their need to hear you tell them how much they mean to you becomes stronger. The man-woman dynamics differ and it’s an expectation mismatch and it happens mostly with sons than daughters.
There’s a proverb “My son is my son till we get him a wife but my daughter is my daughter all her life.”
I have a cousin who is half a Kuhu in her spoilt behavior but of a different kind. It was more of an oppositional defiance with this cousin, towards her mother, shooting down her suggestions and never respecting her. When she married and she became a mum, her attitude and behavior took a complete turn.
Daughters even though the most defiant one will understand her mom’s pain some point in course of her life. The daughter when she marries and leaves home, is given a reality check at her in-laws so the vocal appreciation is more when she revisits her parents.
The son however, because they stay home even after marriage, don’t experience any change in the son-mom equation of environment and missing their mom. The respect at their in-laws also doubles and they have an additional set of parents which works in their favor. The mom at home is often left feeling bereft and experiences a void and sons have this extra responsibility of telling their parents especially their moms that they love and appreciate her,more vocally.
I agree with Meenu today. Abir could have informed her, but it was BM who did. It would have hurt her immensely. The chasm in her heart with her son marrying the girl not her choice, then leaving home to sort his problems with his wife and sister-in-law, telling her not to interfere in a stern tone because he doesn’t agree with her methods and then not informing her of the accident would have increased the insecurity that Meenu already holds in her heart. She would have felt the same as Mishti ALONE in a way and whether Abir understood that or not Mishti will.
Today, Meenu would have felt that the son that outgrew her lap also outgrew her heart. Sometimes, we are so busy growing up we forget that our parents are also growing old. Meenu needs his vocal and moral support now.
Abir, the child is a father of man, like William Wordsworth wrote and both your negative and positive experiences during childhood will lead you to becoming a better dad to your children. You have twice the knowledge base with Mishti and her share of Do’s and Don’ts.
I understand Abir’s dreams of becoming a dad but no decision should be based on emotions, of a lost childhood. It should be reason and rationale that kick in especially, for important decisions like parenthood. Full points to even the childish Kuhu who decided sensibly despite pressure from Varsha and Jasmeet on the baby matter.
Varsha today, you brought in a new low with your “Mishti ka saat”? She is the reason your daughter is safe and sound without a broken ankle. You didn’t thank the other daughter but berate her. You started on a good note with the responsibility personified Mishti and Abir and I thought you were going to build your discussion on that but your wrong emphasis to Kuhu about having a baby and eliminate the competition disappointed me yet again. You gave your daughter negative reinforcement that Kunal would leave her so that she thinks about a baby, Way to go Varsha! Kuhu didn’t hurt her head but you did with your metaphorical fall from motherhood.
BM, the thoda badlav has to come in Kuhu. Your foster daughter is an angel. The Maheshwaris still see what they want to see and disappoint – same old wine new bottle BM. Meenu a gold star to your parenting and astute skills when you told her you need to see for yourself and decide. “Mushkil ghadi mein dono ka pyaar badd gaya.” Boy, all of you must seriously be delusional; when the mushkil ghadi comes for your daughter and son-in-law, only then can you truly decipher whether the badlav in your granddaughter is for real or not.
Meenu was extremely open and fair pacifying BM and accepting her mistake that it was her betas who were involved too. Rules are important when it comes to parenting but with a little love, laughter and Meenu. Those who haven’t, should listen to the Barbra Streisand song “CHILDREN WILL LISTEN”. It’s a meaningful song and is available on YouTube. To pique your interest I have quoted some lines:
How do you say to your child in the night
Nothing is all black but then nothing is all white?
How do you say it will all be alright
When you know that it mightn't be true?
What do you do?...
Careful the things you say
Children will listen…
Careful the things you do
Children will see
And learn
Children may not obey
But children will listen…
Guide them but step away
Children will glisten
Temper with what is true
And children will turn
If just to be free
Careful before you say
"Listen to me"…
Abir is like Jason, Bev’s son from the movie “Riding in cars with boys” ( Book: RIDING IN CARS WITH BOYS BY BEVERLY DONOFRIO). He grew up way before his time lost his childhood just like Jason and is expected to shoulder responsibility. Kunal went scot-free with a joke and Abir had to bear the brunt of Meenu’s temper and angst. The important part of childhood is the relationship between the dad and mom. That has to be smooth and congenial for the child to grow up safe. Kunal is lucky because he had a dad figure in Abir. Abir laughs and smiles but sometimes that is a facade for the pain inside him.
Abir, wheelchair mein baitney waali ne sorry nahin kaha, jo khadi thi usney kaha. Did you not see or not hear? One more thing when you fight with a SANE person like Mishti you lost your temper and called her a bacchi. You’ve to remind yourself Mishti lost her temper with an INSANE person and still has reversed the situation to your favor.
You should do the same with your mom. There is a fine line between adhikaar and Dakhal and that was brought out beautifully by Meenu today but a mom is a mom and she never wishes anything bad for her child even in an angry moment.
The poem by Nissim Ezekiel celebrates motherhood in “The Night of The Scorpion”, where the narrator recalls the night his mom was stung by a scorpion. He describes the events but ends it with his mom’s reaction “Thank God the scorpion picked on me and spared my children.”
I wind up now with a tribute to Moms and motherhood with a poetry that my baby wrote me on Mother’s Day. I treasure it and I dedicate it to all the moms around.
MY MOTHER
I can vouch for the fact that my mom is absolutely divine.
She is a strong and determined person and is truly fine.
She showers me with love all through the day,
No matter how busy, she listens to what I have to say.
When I talk about my mom my heart swells with pride
If I’m ever in trouble I know she is there to guide
She is the greatest thing that ever happened to me
I can never repay her for all that she does for me
She often entertains me with stories of erstwhile days,
Of Halloween nights and festive days,
Of Indian folk tales and Arabian sands,
Of twinkling bright stars and mysterious lands.
She is such a dear friend as one can ever be,
Without her around,my life is history.
When I feel troubled, she worries for me day and night,
I pour out my heart to her and my world suddenly feels bright.
I feel I’m rich and fortunate in every sort of way,
To have a mom like mine really makes my day.
As prosperous as I’m you can never be,
For I’ve a mom who cares endlessly for me!
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