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Okay so this post has been on my mind since the episode on Friday night but laziness and life got in the way until I finally decided to tackle both ...I know there have been plenty of posts that have come up on the episode on Friday which featured IshRa' most beautiful conversation till date as per me. Some have hated the convo, others have loved it - I fall into the latter camp of course.
And somehow I am glad I waited for Saturday night because otherwise I wouldn't have something to add to this post which I believe is vital - I am not gonna go into the handhold and the BIG QUESTION part here, but the other major thing. Though I must say I did find the use of the word junoon in Ishita' response quite interesting; quite a foreshadowing it seems and kudos to the writer for that. Ishita definitely would be the woman who would make Raman live the two extremes of love - junoon and sukoon - madness and bliss to their utmost extent.
As the title of my post implies, it's about love and also parenthood - the love that a parent feels for his/her child; which is considered to be the most selfless, giving and unconditional love in the world. However most of the times all these qualities are particularly associated with a mother' love but YHM is exploring the unventured zone over here that of a father' love.
I am unable to remember the date or season, but in an episode of Koffee with Karan SRK was quoted as saying - the decision to have a child is like allowing a piece of your soul to walk out of your body - I found that so beautiful, so amazing to hear.
It was the sentiment a father expressed about what he feels for his children.
RKB, his actions brought back this statement to me.
In Friday' episode the man who conversed fondly with Shagun was Aditya' father and not her ex-husband or even the man who once loved her, but the father who still loves and will always love his child. Yes, he acts unreasonably out of that love sometimes and people term it as his obsession for Adi, but is the love of a parent logical? Can it be bound or understood? No, something's in life are inexplicable, but it necessarily does not make them unimportant at all. Sometimes the most amazing things are felt not understood. Which is what is happening here - RKB, as a man is now primarily a father - he loves both his kids with all his heart and soul - for Aditya, he bears Shagun and her nonsense as much as he can, for Ruhi he begrudgingly agreed to marry Ishita - a woman he loathed then.
On Friday, Ishita asked Raman to respect Shagun - the biological mother of his children and Saturday night, he did that - he was polite to Shagun, courteous as much as possible.
It made me wonder for a while if it is all Ishita' doing, her reasoning that got to Raman finally, if so it was the miracle of miracles, until it struck me, she didn't appeal to Raman - as was evident the moment he made a face when Shagun departed... she appealed to the father in him.
Raman, as a person, a man will never forgive Shagun, nor should he - yes, he should let bygones be bygones, but forgiveness does not come easy always and in some cases never at all. However, the father in him can definitely try to do what Ishita asked of him - even if only for the sake of his children, which is exactly what happened.
The man who had said sorry and thank you to Shagun and the one who was nice to her was the father in Raman, who understood what Ishita said was right, there is no point in insulting Shagun time and again, especially if it affects his children in an adverse way each time he reacts angrily. The fake suicide fiasco showed him how Shagun in her ego and pride was blind to the fact how things might and did affect her son, and Raman saw how scared his son was thinking his mom might die.
Ishita invaded Raman' space with one heartfelt conversation and how! It was not a hostile takeover, rather to me it seemed more like Ishita bringing down a huge wall that Raman had built around himself, his heart - once Shagun left him. She shattered his defenses and he was powerless to stop her, not because she overpowered him, no rather she gave him something he longed for so much - the assurance he isn't alone.
The most beautiful aspect of this scene was when Ishita said everyone who is related to Ruhi is now her responsibility too, since she came into his family as Ruhi' mom, she married him for that. What she said was the truth over here, but what is the most important is she said she is now responsible for Adi and Raman too - something which he never had before. In his previous marriage we have seen how Raman was the one always shown as being the caregiver, caretaker - but he was never looked after, in this one conversation he heard something that he was living these days, that he is isn't alone, he is being looked after, someone considers him important.
He cried in front of her because she moved him - she didn't berate him, fight with him or even chide him - she understood him, she supported him - a first for Raman. He never had that before even with the woman he loved and hence cried, though he tried to hide it... and he finally acknowledged once the tears were wiped away, she seems samajdaar to him - the words were spoken in a lighter way, as jesting but they were an admittance! Someone finally understood him and that, THAT defeated him somehow... the fact that someone saw through him at last! And her reply she was born intelligent - it was her reply in a subtext - try me, talk to me, I can help you, understand you... but you have to let me in for any and all of that.
Actions speak louder than words, but words nonetheless have an importance of their own and hearing them is as important as saying them sometimes.
Shagun was the first woman Raman loved, she became his wife, the mother of his children but she failed to do something in all the years of their marriage which Ishita accomplished in one conversation she became Raman' companion in the truest sense of the term, she gave him the assurance he never had before - that he has someone with him in all walks of life, standing tall with him, shouldering his responsibilities as much... in that one conversation - Ishita managed to win over Raman and also made a place for herself as the mother of BOTH his kids, not just one.
A real relationship isn't one where you always laugh and have a good time, when you allow someone to see your tears, baring the most vulnerable part of you - you are giving over a piece of yourself to them, you are trusting them Raman did that and also, he heard from Ishita what no one said to him so far - respect Shagun, let go of all your emotions for her... she asked him to forgive her without saying the words and by extension she asked him to STOP hurting himself, so long as he isn't at peace with himself, he will be miserable and that is what was the point of respect Shagun agenda... allowing Raman his chance to heal.
He was humbled by her offer to parent his son as well, a child he knows hates her... a child she has no reason to love, one she doesn't even know well. Hence, last night he got another insight into her - one which made him be in awe of her all over again! He never could have asked of her to do anything for Adi - but she is already doing so, and it is because he is Raman' child, a part of him... she is slowly and steadily touching every aspect of Raman that makes his heart beat - that makes him who he is.
While Shagun has repeatedly hurt Raman her biggest blow to him has been taking away his son from him, manipulating and using Adi to hurt his own father, since his children are his vulnerability. Interestingly it his children that are making him bond with Ishita time and again, if Ruhi acted as the reason these two came together in the first place - it would be Ishita' gesture, one where she extended her willingness and co-operation to parent Aditya, that would make them closer than ever...
Ironically when Subbu chose to break ties with Ishita he had said love fades from a marriage within a couple of years but two people still stay connected and together because of their children, if Ishita is unable to provide him the reason to stay long term in a marriage why should he marry her at all?
On the other end, we see Shagun, the woman who gave birth to two kids but could not stay back in her marriage for either of them. She left her husband for the riches of another man, and now in another woman that man is finding the mother of his children -one who did not give birth to them and yet, it is she, who is binding his family closer than ever before, allowing him to make some sense of his scattered life and self-worth. She became instrumental in making a father realize the love he has for his daughter, which has paved way to the beautiful relationship they now share. The little girl who once was so scared of her own father who longed to merely talk to him, now bosses him around so completely and he lets her.
It would be Ishita once again who somehow would connect the father with the son and in the process...not only would she have gained another child, become a mother once again, she would finally completely heal the damaged man she married making him fall in love with her beyond reason and bounds.
For this time around when Raman Bhalla would fall in love with a woman it would not be owing to the superficial beauty that she has that would tempt him, but the beauty of her heart and soul that would humble him. It won't be a man falling in love with his wife, rather it would be Ruhi and Aditya' father who would fall irrevocably in love with the woman who is being their mother in the truest sense of the term.
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