Chapter 2
She forgot everything
Chakor looked at her parents ... then at the two unknown people then back at her parents quizzical for why were they staring at her like she's a new person...she was taken aback when the little girl flung herself in her arms ... she was unknown to her but still she couldn't help herself to push her away no matter how awkward it was for her... she looked at the man confusedly and carefully stroke the girl's hair
As for Suraj he was rooted to the ground... he had no idea when Anjor left his hand to run for Chakor's arms... her gaze held a foreign look... one that she used to give him when she first arrived in azadganj
"I think you are in the wrong room" She slowly said to Anjor who refused to let her go ...Chakor looked at her maii pleadingly but her maii didn't come to her rescue if anything she remained stood with a sympathetic look
"No you're my mumma... i am sorry i lied...i am really sorry" Anjor cried in her arms... she was hugging her dandewali for the first time knowing she's her mother... now she knew why Chakor's arms always made her feel safe ... She gave birth to her ... Anjor wanted to sleep in Chakor's lap again and hear her lullaby lull her to sleep
Her mother?? Her eyebrows scrunched up confused ... suddenly she felt her head throb with pain and get dizzy... she raised one of her hand to her forehead trying to massage the veins which felt like its about to pop... she was about to sway to the side when Suraj rushed to her holding her straight...wanting to tell him to stay away she felt her world blur out... everything for her faded in a dark black spot frightening the others
"Papa what happened to mumma??" Anjor looked at her father who himself didn't understand anything what just happened... the doctor was currently examining a passed out Chakor... why did she ask who were they? Was she that angry? But then she'd be angry only at him not at Avya if anything she'd hug Avya to her heart after learning she's their Saanvi
He simply ran a hand over his daughter hairs shaking his head... what was he to answer to her when he was himself clueless to what was happening... Kasturi kaki and Bhuvan Kaka was looking distress too.. their strong daughter in such a state because that vile Imli.. somehow he knew each and every one of them blamed themselves for Chakor's state.. the girl who did everything good for them
After a while the doctor allowed them to enter the room.. Chakor was sitting straight having regained consciousness ... "So miss Chakor what do you remember last?" The doctor asked her cautiously as her gaze averted to the same unknown faces... why were they allowed to be there? but trusting her parents were present she answered
"I remember i was coming back home from Lucknow after winning my last marathon race and talking to Aditya... where's Aditya??" She asked looking in her surrounding and realizing he wasn't around... a punch to Suraj's heart ... she remembered Aditya and was asking for him while overlooking him?
"What year are we in Miss Chakor?" The doctor asked catching her attention back
The Answer she gave next shook all them "2003" a confident tone coming from her ... the doctor simply nod when Suraj finally lost a grip over himself
"2003??? How is it 2003 Chakor?? Doctor what is she saying??" He walked close to her sitting on the edge of her bed...taking her reluctant hands in his feeling the same warmth he always did by touching her it was his Chakor "Chakor it's 2018...you don't remember me???" She harshly pulled her hands out of grasp hurting him unknowingly... "2018? Are you mad??? Stupid?? and please stay away from me... you're suffocating me" she tried to pull away from him... Staying away from Azadganj for soo many years she had learnt self defense and she didn't like how this guy was looking at her with soo much affection... hurt ... why? What gibberish was he talking about???
Suraj wanted to explain her more but the doctor interupted them asking them to meet him in his cabin and leave Chakor to rest
"Doctor what was she talking about?? What's happening??" Suraj wanted to pull his hairs out ... he was being haunted by her blank confused eyes when she looked at him... she was suppose to be angry at him... shout at him ... tell him how she spent the 7 years without him and hear how he lived without her and his forgiveness for not having had trusted her... been with her he failed his marital vows... and they were suppose to rejoice their daughter's unision with them together
"Mr Rajvanshi... Chakor is suffering from Short term memory lost... my best belief is when she fell from the cliff it caused this trauma on her brain... her mind is only recollecting figments from her past ... a past which belongs to 2003 and back perhaps when you didn't already exist for her explaining why she doesn't know you anymore" the doctor explained to the man who kept faith until the last minute Chakor will wake up only for her not to remember him
He closed his eyes tight remembering their memories spent together... their marriage.. their confession... their struggles against Kamal Narayen ... Imli... their daughter and his betrayal ... She doesn't remember anything neither the good nor the bad... "what can we do for it to return back???" He had suffered from memory lost in past but it was nothing like hers... she knew everything except him and the moments spent with him
"Nothing... because right now the more you pressurize her ... the more pressure on her brain which may result in permanent damage to her brain cells ... miss Chakor will have to remember everything on her own in her own taken time" The doctors words were going over his head... it was almost as if God was punishing him for having left her 7 years ago
"MRS Chakor...she's my wife doctor" He banged his hand against the table in frustration which soon ceased when he saw his daughter next to him frightened ... he hugged Anjor in his arms ... he was doing same mistake as he did in past with Chakor by thinking selfishly about himself
"It's okay Anjor we will make your mumma remember" He kissed Anjor cheeks reassuredly but he was himself broken inside... he left his tears frustration to bay not to show his vulnerability to his daughter who had suffered enough
They walked hands in hand towards the wardroom when they heard kasturi explain Chakor a few facts of the reality
"So it's really 2018? that man wasn't lying?Was that little girl really my daughter Maii?" Chakor wasn't understanding a thing... she was asked not to pressurize herself but it wasn't working... 15 years she doesn't remember of her life... it was just a dirty mess... who was that guy anyway? He was familiar inspite of the dark hole in her memories ... her mother wasn't replying to her she just looked at her like she lost her universe but then when she looked at her side and watched her report papers... her name shocked her... Chakor Singh Rajvanshi????
"Maiii!!!! Why is my surname Rajvanshi here???" She picked the chart looking at it dumbfoundedly... Rajvanshi?
Suraj opened the door hopefully having heard her ask that question... perhaps she'd remember now but Chakor's mind was only linking one thing to another such Kamal narayan Rajvanshi? There was only one way she'd turn into a Rajvanshi if she married... before her mother and Suraj could say anything she smiled unknowingly thinking about that person...her bestfriend "Vivaan?? Maii i am married to Vivaan???" Of course now she thinks about it... a smile graced her lips and breaking Suraj further than he already was he gripped the door handle harder always wishing it would hurt him more than his heart was at that moment... he wasn't even on her list of consideration to begin with...he doesn't blame her but it hurt to see his love even thinking she married Vivaan
Kasturi couldn't bring herself to such a grand lie she was told not to pressurize her daughter but letting her think she married Vivaan will be a sin she wasn't about to commit not when Suraj babu realizes his mistake and was ready to mend the 7 years of their relationship and unite to their Daughter...something she knew her Chakor was yearning for without admiting it
"No" Was mere a whisper but audible to Chakor's ears who lost her mind again to the cloud of confusion ... how can she be a Rajvanshi then?? Because the other Rajvanshi she remembers was ... "Suraj??" She whispered confused with an emotionless tone... nonetheless it was still accepted by Suraj who pulled a painful smile over his face... she was atleast acknowledging him
Her maii turned and looked at Anjor and Suraj who stood at the doorstep... she chose to let Suraj take the lead... she trusted her son in law with Chakor because no matter the mistake.. Suraj loves Chakor it was obvious from the painful tears which tried hard to stay on his eyelid
Chakor's eyes couldn't leave them... she tried to convince her heart and mind to remember them specially the little girl who cried in her arms moment ago calling her mumma.. she felt nothing... she remembered nothing .. frustated she brought her hand over her face crying in her hands ..."Anjor lets go outside" Kasturi Said to a reluctant Anjor she wasn't ready to leave her mother not when she was in this state but a nod from her father left her no other option
Watching her cry infront of him wasn't new to Suraj they broke down together soo many times after the betrayal of destiny towards their love so he was familiar to those painful cords which etched in his heart at her pain
He sat infront of her on a stool pulling her hands away from her face causing her to lock her tearful gaze with his passionate ones.. "Who are you??? Why do you do look at me like that???" Questions... it was killing her how soo many questions were arising in her without answers
"Like what?" He asked keeping his gaze on her face... her wounds were cured...he could see a scar on her forehead from the fall maybe.. a fall he couldn't protect her from ... such a fall which he had blamed her from not protecting their daughter ... he was reviving it with him being at the place was Chakor was 7 years ago... she must've felt as vulnerable as him at that moment
"Like i dunno!! Like you're hurt...but still smiling like ..." She searched words amongst her massive cloud of dilemma and he wasn't making it easy... not when he was looking at her like he was expecting her to say its a lie and she remembered him
"I am hurt but i am smiling because you're still fine... when you went in that coma the doctors said all hopes were lost" he spoke wiping her face off the tears which had stopped.. she was simply staring at him in curiosity
"WOuld've been better if i hadn't woken up" As those words slipped her lips..he placed his fingers on them shutting them..."Don't you dare Say that Chakor" His heart felt having took an instant stabbed by a sharpened knife .. she had no idea how many death he died waiting for her to open those eyes
Feeling awkward she pulled his hand roughly off her lips and spatted "Why do you care??? I don't even remember you???" she felt irritated and wanted to left alone but still she wanted to have answers to her questions
He took a huge breath poundering on what he should answer her... maybe an answer which his Chakor would have expected..."Your husband.. I care about you because i am your husband Chakor and i love you.. we love each other... you just don't remember.. maybe it's just God punishing me for having left you but try to remember i beg of you Chakor.." he cupped her cheeks begging her pressing his forehead against hers ... there goes keeping his tears at bay... it freed itself from his eyelid flowing frustrated down his cheeks... causing her to cry along... a cry which was obvious she was still not remembering anything
Feeling tired and still blank she pushed him away laying on her hospital bed with eyes wide open while he remain sat a silence between both of them... it was the dirtiest play destiny could pull at him ... she was in denial when she still did not know he was Suraj Rajvanshi... the guy she most probably hated at that verge of life
Staying still she asked "Was she my daughter??" ... he sniffed and answered in a clear "Yes Our daughter"
Closing her eyes a single drop of tear escaped her eyes rolling down on the pillow...she wasn't even crying anymore what kind of a mother was she to have forgotten her daughter
"Tell me everything please...start by your name?" the moment he was dreading...he felt ashame saying it for the brute he was at that phase of life ..."Suraj Singh Rajvanshi" He still spoke with a heavy heart but she stayed still as if she expected it but he could see another other drop escape her eyes rolling down the pillow clenching his fist he calmed himself
"We married to each other under different circumstances.. i cheated destiny and sat at the place of Vivaan but i don't regret it because i found you" He spoke reminscing those days when he married his jungli billi first
"Did i regret it?" She asked again emotionless as she was feeling at that moment.. but too tired she just let his words go through her mind
Thinking about it now he said the truth "Yes you did but with soo many ups and down ... life taught us to fall in love... along with you teaching me to be a better person... giving me a new life by saving me from my own family members" She couldn't remember... love he said? Her heart was just an organ at that moment which was pumping blood around her body nothing
"Why can't i feel anything then? Why does this feel sooo empty??" She asked the tears kept on escaping where he was sure was wet right now but she still laid unbothered
"Maybe because of the 7 years i left you... maybe because i didn't trust the girl who taught me the meaning of trust... maybe because the marital vows were left unfulfilled '' the intensity of his voice sparkled the pain he was feeling... but except sympathy at that time she had nothing to give
"You talk as if you loved me soo much then why did you leave me?" an innocent question on her behalf but it was a difficult answer for him to give ... why did he leave her if he loved her soo much?
"We lost our daughter... we thought she was dead and i blamed it on your irresponsilibity i failed to see the truth because i was at that time blinded by my anger and pain... i failed to see you loved our daughter way too much to endanger her" Chakor didn't expect the sobs... she gathered up courage straightening herself and true to her ears... he was crying ...his body shaking in cries... angry tears wetting her own cheeks but this time she wasn't angry at him... she was angry at herself... her fingers curled down the sheets wanting to confort him but it didn't ... so she sat closing her eyes trying to think about all he said ... one memory atleast one come back... she prayed in her heart her tears still escaping her close eyes... but nothing... absolutely nothing was there
He broke down wishing her arms to hold him like they always did... but nothing... 7 years separation pain opened the bottled suffocation in his heart ...how was he to explain her he was alive for 7 years but he wasn't living without her... he always wondered how was she... what was she doing ... how was she coping with Saanvi's death ...he let the dusty truth of Imli blind his vision...he wanted to hold her and tell her he loves her... he's sorry but how was he do it when she had no answer to both his confession and forgiveness?
Anupamaa
