should a person live a married life which is void of any love, respect or understanding only because your parents want this, or because of u r kids or any other social compulsion
or rather divorce that person and start a new life.
what do u guys say?
firstly marraige is a commitment blessed by the society and love is a state of mind. one should be very careful when he/she decides to walk out on a commitment. infact the bigger issue is when do you call your marraige a loveless marraige.
usually if your marraige was an arranged one, then first two to three years are very hard on the couple(they are adjusting with the whims of each other, coping with the expectations of society and families, trying to give each other access to thier soul and heart and so on....).most people think of divorce multiple times during this period, however once they bond and get to know each other...they often wonder what they were fighting about and how they managed to survive so long without eachother( i like to think this of as a mature kind of love).
another reason for dissatisfaction is that most unmarried couples view thier impending married lives as an extension of fairytales...this view is further propogated by the tv shows and movies where the characters seem to have no other job than to spend time with thier beloved and pamper them. undersuch circumstances the real married life comes as a shock and most people begin to view thier otherwise tranquil life as loveless(reality can never come close to the fairytale romances). i would consider it very silly to walk out of marraige because it does not compare to what you define as marraige full off love.
another problem i often see with couple these days is that they want everything without having to work for it.relationships too need a lot of work and patience . instead of blaming your partner for the loveless marraige, it might be wise to introspect how much you are giving in to the relationship. are you working hard enough??. or are you just going on with your life and expecting the other person to pick up the slack. have you even conveyed you feelings about the current state of marital life calmly to him/her without blaming her for everything that has gone wrong.
however once you analyse everything wisely and sensibly and you still feel that you are unhappy and probably will never be happy and your frustation has begun to spill on everyday activities, you might consider divorce(don't rush into it) and start with temporary seperation (it helps to put things in perspective).
When caught in such a marriage I feel that divorce will be the right move to make that is if you r still young and the children are young.
If you have stayed in the marriage for a long time and as u are getting old what difference does it make whether the marriage is a loveless or unhappy one.
You could still stay married and live your seperate lives. The children are grown and are having familes of their own. You do not have any more commitments and u are free of your responsibilities. You can still make the best of your remaining years with friends and family around you. It does not have to be where you are totally dependent on your husband to be able to find your niche or happiness.
Topic started by gk_hara
Last replied by Manasi_16