Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems

Lakshmi (Flash Fiction/Surrogate Mother)

datspreets thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
Wrote this flash fiction for a prompt on another site. :)

Kindly Read and Review.

Prompt: For $100,000 a woman in need of cash agrees to be the surrogate mother for a rich, childless couple.

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Lakshmi

The $100,000 cheque flashed before my eyes for the nth time that day. The offer was too tempting. Besides, it was just a question of 9 months-for a childless couple-that'd pass in a jiffy!

The eyes of the wanna-be parents were beseeching. They were poor in Indian societal mindset-despite being rich in dollars -as they had no child. They were a humble couple, and seemed genuine in their word.

The wife would stay in India till I delivered their baby. I'd get my money as soon after. Then we'd part ways, they'd move back to the US, and I, back to nursing my ailing parents.

My parents resisted the idea, but I accepted their offer nonetheless. A little help for them would help my family in a big way, after all, medical bills are to be paid too!

That was about 9 months back.

Today as I lie, drained physically, the doctor breaks in the news, 'It's a daughter. Lakshmi has been born in your house!'

I smile weakly and reached out for the cheque. I felt selfish in accepting the money, and also regretted my decision, but the vivid expressions on the parents' faces told me that my decision was right!

At home, my parents were smiling too, though they never voiced their happiness. Mother got her cataract treated and dad could now afford his diabetes medicines.

Indeed Lakshmi had blessed two houses, though in different forms.

(238 words)
Lakshmi: Goddess of money/wealth.

Preeti Datar
4 Feb 2007.

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Tearðrops thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago

Oh i did miss this story, glad you showed me

I loved this...

[quote=datspreets]Indeed Lakshmi had blessed two houses, though in different forms.[/quote]

You have that way of making me expect some kind of disagreement/conflict etc just goes to show not all controversial things are bad in a way. Thanks for sharing!

datspreets thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
^ I should say thanks for reading....someone who writes needs nothing more than response 😊

btw, that's my fav. line too.

Preeti
Prenz~13 thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
πŸ‘ πŸ‘ hey preeti di,i luved dis story...it sort of goes to show that u you dont jus need drama 2 put across your point. 😊 it was beautiful... πŸ‘ 😳
datspreets thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
Hey thanks Prerna, my newest reader :)
coolniyu thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
wow..very beautifully written..a very simple straightfoward story yet u get the point across..keep it up!! πŸ‘πŸ˜ŠπŸ€—
datspreets thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
Thanks coolniyu for reading both my stories :D
*~Sapna~* thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
there I missed it again 😭 ohh well I finally  read it...as usual all I can say is that u r very creative Preets...keep writing yaar...would love to read more πŸ‘
jassie_17 thumbnail
Posted: 17 years ago
Loved it Preetz....Short but meaningful and very coherent,I will say!!!Thanx for sharing dearie!!!
datspreets thumbnail
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Posted: 17 years ago
Thanks sapu and Jassu *hugs*