FF - SHATTERED - (Angad* Sahiba) - Aurhors note imp -9/4/23

Hello everyoneeee…

How are you all? Okay, so post todays episode – I just cannot seem to continue writing on my other FF – Dil ki DailyDaastan – with the POV’s resonating in line with the show for I just can't resonate with the instance that happened in today’s episode. Like Anagd shouldn’t have done this blunder but now that he has... in my opnion Sahiba shouldn’t just tolerate this nonsense too…

Hence, my frustration with this current track in the show where in they are showing the male lead stooping so low/losing all his sense of righteousness/consciousness  - has finally led me to get astray in my imagination and I will be penning down the tale differently here on…(differently from the show…)as in…how I’d like to see it unfold here on….in my head..ill just imagine this happening in a parallel universe in TMD world..side by side…

So yup – here I am with the first update on the FF – Shattered.

Hope you all enjoy reading this altered fictional tale for the show as per my imagination…on Angad* Sahiba - henceforth...

Thank you so much once again...guys....

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FF - Shattered 

Index 

Take 1 - No Excuses for Sin - pg1

Take 2 - Ashamed - pg 2

Take 3 - Where do I Go? - page 4

Take 4 - The Mirror of Betrayal - page 5

Take 5 - An Unexpected Sunrise from the West - page 8

Take 6 - Anguished Conversations - page 9

Take 7 - Facing the Truth - page 10

Take 8 - Trapped - page 13

Take 9 - Justice Served - page 14

Take 10 - The Aftermath - page 20

.........

FF - SHATTERED

Take 1 - No excuse for Sins

Sahiba’s POV

Yeh kya hogaya? Yeh isne kya kardiya??? Main toh kabhi soch bhi nahi sakti thi ki iss level tak niche gir sakta hai…isne mujhse itni badtameezi karne ki himmat kari kaise??

( What just happened? What did he just do?? I couldn’t ever imagine him stooping so low ever…how dare he freaking misbehave with me so godammit much???)

Yeh Sab kaise hogaya pata nai…par ab yeh zaroor pata hai…ki ab bass…pani sir ke bahut uppar chala gaya hai…abb bass…ab main yeh torture aur nai jhel sakti…na iss ghar mein reh sakti hun…agar maine yeh sab hone ke baad bhi apne aatma samaan ke liye kuch nai kiya…toh issse bada gunah kya hi hoga apne haathon apni taraf??

( I don’t know how all of this happened…but what I do know is that…enough is enough…that this is freaking it…this is beyond acceptable to me…I cannot tolerate this nonsense any longer. I just cannot. I also cannot stay in this house a second longer. If I stay under this roof a day more..and just tolerate this level of misconduct – it will be like commiting a sin towards my very own self. There wouldn’t be a bigger sin towards my own self respect …)

Ab tak toh main kadwa ghooth zeher ki tarah pee hi rahi thi…par ab agar maine apne liye kuch nai kiya toh matlab main apni rooh ka katl apne aap hi kardungi…( uptil now…I was still gulping down all that they were sending my way like posion…but not anymore…if I stay quite any longer…it will be like murdering my own soul with my very own hands…)

Yahh…Rabba…yeh kya hogaya…

I look at the sight of Angad – all collapsedand passed out on the mattress. Thankfully, he did pass out post his outburst expressing his pain on the betrayal he got from Seeirat di..which yes did give me a glimpse how deeply he can feel and how vulnerable he himself is in the moment – but none of that can be an excuse for his misconduct towards me…

Yes. He is in pain – clearly he is.

But so am I….

Maybe – its just simply wrong…trying to live and act on this façade is just simply wrong for him too. We are both just trapped...and experiencing only trauma...

My humanity gets the better of me in the moment though for a second, and that is the only reason – why I pull the blanket on top of him to cover him – as my resolve strengthens within that the only way out of this hell for both of us – is to just put an end to this nonsense act – as soon as possible. I don’t think I have it in me to trust anyone in this house anymore....let alone feel safe in here ever again….

I need to get outta here or I will suffocate…and  probably succumb…into a heart failure in my sleep tonight…

I stand up in my spot – now – determined to set things right for myself or else I’d never be able to look in my own eyes ever again. Sleep is not going to come to me tonight anyway which is a good thing I guess – because – now I have ample time to think and plan my next step forward…

Broken, shattered, traumatised – I begin to pray to Babaji to give me some strength and show me the way..

Shayad Babaji bhi meri madad tab hi karenge…jab main apni madad khud karne ke liye phir se chattan ban jaaungi…mujhe wishwaas hai…woh mujhe koi rah zaroor dikhayenge…

Koi toh raasta hoga jo mujhe iss nark se bahar nikalega…

( Maybe, Babaji will also help me as I continue to stand up for myself to help myself again. I have full faith that he will show me the way…show me the light to take the steps towards the direction that will take me out of this hell…)

………………

Next Morning

Angad’s POV

My eyes flutter open and the very second I take in the surroundings around me – I jolt up straight getting seated on the mattress I was lying down in.

What the hell???

What the hell am I doing here in the Store-room? 

Or rather Sahiba’s room??

When did I get here? How did I get here??

I look around in panic. I do not spot Sahiba around – just the sight of her small suitcase all packed up.

Whattt? Is she leaving? Dammit. What the hell happened in here last night???

I shut my eyes – trying to recall the events of last night.

 Focus.Angad.Focus.

One.

Two…Three….Four…Five…Six…Seven….Eight….Nine…ten…

Damm.

Freak. It takes me about ten seconds of trying to focus and the events from last night begin to stumble their way into my head…

Freakkkk!

What did I dooo??????? Was that really me – engaging in that pathetic misconduct with Sahiba last night?

Tears of remorse, guilt, and anger at myself blurr my eyes as the moments of her pushing me away from herself in order to protect herself from me – make its way to my eyes…

Oh. Waheguru…Babaji…how deeply have I sinned??

I was like a disgusting predator last night….a monster…who’d lost all his sense of thought…in the cocktail of anger*wrath *alcohol…

Unable to open my eyes , because I don’t know how will I look into my eyes ever again – I feel myself tremble within as the events from last night keep rewinding their way in my head…

No…

No….

No….

I can’t believe this was me…I can’t believe I stooped so low in front of any woman..forgetting all the manners my family taught me…I cannot believe what all I implied to Sahiba last night…that I was there to force myself on her…to torture her…hurt her physically…

Yeh mujhe ho kya gaya tha?? Yeh mujheho kya gaya hai??( what was wrong with me?? what is wrong with me now??)

I cant sit statued here in shock over my own mistake and misconduct. I need to find Sahiba. I need to apologize. No matter what..I shouldn’t have behaved with her in such a way…

My eyes flutter open now – as I hear the sound of a door creaking and spot – Sahiba stepping back in the room with a file in her hand and her bag on her shoulder…

Wait…

Was she out? 

Where did she go early morning??

I get up in my spot now – thoroughly embarrased and ashamed unable to look straight at her – I ask my voice fumbling in guilt for the very first time – “ S..a…hi..ba…main…”

No other words follow because – Sahiba’s just showed me her palm of the hand with her eyes flashing to me in so much anger and angst – that I could only just pause. I spot a slight red mark on her cheek – hand marks on her wrists and horrified that I could the one to blame for the same – I manage to ask my voice stammering – “ yeh…mark…s…tumhare facepe..haath pe…yeh…maine…,”(I pause yet again…unable to word anything out...anymore…)

Damm.

I could drown in shame and guilt. This is not me..so not me.I am not a monster of a man and yet that is what I had become towards my own wife..last night…

Sahiba continues to glare at me hard- nonetheless and without saying a word she walks past me towards her suitcase and begins to tow it out behind her. Aghast, ashamed – I can only stammer to ask– “ tum jaa…rahi ho…?”( you are leaving??)

She glares at me hard – her eyes coldstone as if I had butchered her soul last night – “ aur nai toh kya…ji haan…jaarahi hoon..hamesha ke liye…tumhare iss ghar mein ek second aur bhi ruki…toh meri rooh mar hi jaayegi yahan rukne ki toh ab main soch hi nai sakti…isse bada aur koi paap nai hoga mere haath khud ke saath…”( yes…I am leaving…for ever…if I stay a second longer under this roof of yours…there wont be a bigger sin commited by me towards myself…)

Damm.

I feel as if she’s slapped me – hard with that. I don’t blame her. I deserve it...

 I stammer on reflex taking a step closer to her – “ paap…toh mujhse hogaya hai..sahiba…kal raat…alcohol ke nashi mein…aur shayad…anarth hi hojata mujhe..agar tum mujhe…push nai karti…ya phir…kahun toh anarth hi hogaya mujhse…kal raat…yeh main nai hun…sahiba…yeh main nai hun….aur meri iss harkat ka koi excuse nai…mujhe pata hai…” ( its me who has sinnedunder the influence of anger* alocohol last night…Sahiba…infact I would havebecome the greatest sinner of all if you wouldn’t have pushed me away…lastnight…or rather I should say….I have sinned greatly anyway…and I know there isno excuse for my this act of sin/anyway…)

She takes three steps backwards at that disturbed and nervous – the agony of the trauma I inflicted on her last night evident in her eyes – as she holds her hand in between of us – asking me to keep  my distance and I freeze in my spot - feeling all whipped at that. As if someone had just taken a leather belt and belted me with it...she cannot even stand the sight of me taking a step towards her...

 Sahiba says now her voice all cold stone again, her eyes twinkling with determined resolve – “ yeh toh tumne sach hi bola..ki tumhari iss harkat ka koi excuse nai…aur tumhari sorry ka bhi nai….iske liye koi maafi nai ho sakti....”(you are right..there is no excuse for this act of yours…neither any meaning to your sorry anymore…)

I stammer ashamed…unable to look ather anymore – “ Sahi…ba….”

She roars now back at me her eyes glaring back at me like a wounded lioness – “ naam..mat lo..mera naam mat lo……main bass iss nark main nai reh sakti……issiliye waqt aagya gai galat ko sahi karne ka….abhi tak jo kuch bhi hua sab galat tha…sahi toh ab hoga…aaj mujhe samjh aagayaki..sach chahe jitna bhi kadwa ho…sach hi sahi hota hai….,”she gestures towards the file in her hand.( don’t you dare take my name ever again…I just want toget out of this hell now…once and for all..whatever has happened till now hasbeen wrong…the correct will happen now…today once again I’v realised that nomatter how bitter the truth may seem…its only the truth that is right…)

Ashamed to even muster a word, for guilt seems to eating me up, I just gape at her – drowning in deep remorse. She doesn’t get affected by it – her stature/her vibe remains bold, strong, and cold as she finally hands me the file in her hand to see – “ yeh annulment ke papers hai…agar hum family court mein yeh file kardein ki yeh vyaah…hamare hoshon awaaz mein nai hua…annulment ho jayegi vyah ki….yeh divorce se alag hai..easy h ai...annulment matlab yeh vya kharich…jaise ki kabhi hua hi na ho…maine in papers pe sign karbhi diya hai…tum bhi kar dena…”( these are the papers of annulment of marriage…if we just file in family court that this wedding took place when one of us wasn’t in our complete senses of thinking straight – we will get the annulment through. Divorce is a tricker proceeding to handle than this. Annulment just basically nullifies our marriage completely…easier way out...I have already signed these papers…you just sign them too…)

THE GROUND SHAKES BENEATH MY FEET..AT THAT..

SHE DOESN’T NEED TO EXPLAIN ME WHATANNULEMENT MEANS…OBVIOUSLY…

I AM JUST SHAKEN BECAUSE I REALISE I AM SO GUILTY AT THE MOMENT THAT I DON’T HAVE WORDS TO REFUTE WHAT SHE IS SAYING…

I stammer reading the papers through –my eyes taking in the sight of her signature on it already and before I can ask her when /how did she even get these ready – she just shoots me a long hard cold stare and just walks out the door with her suitcase towing in behind her..

Dejected, I follow behind instantly…knowing that once my family spots her out – another Hungama will only unfold out in the open…

Dammit.

Yeh Maine kya kar diya??

Yeh maine iske saath kya kar diya?

Iske liye toh main rab se bhi maafi nai maang sakta jab mein khud ko bhi kabhi maaf nai karsakta is galti ke liye…

(Damm. Just what did I do dammit.Just what did I do with her. I can’t even seek forgiveness from God on thisgiven that I don’t even know if I can ever forgive myself for this…)

And I hear my inner conscious remindme at that – It was not just a mistake – Angad Singh Brar. It was not just a mistake. The way you behaved with Sahiba last night…was no less than a sin…indeed…

………………………………………………..

 Tadddaaaa!

how was that guys??? 

pheww can't tell you all how releived i felt post writing this...I mean...show ne toh yeh sab dikhane nai...toh maine socha...main hi likh dun...the bit i'd like to see...henceforth...

what did you all think of it?

will await to know in the comments below!

thanks guys..

much love

prachi

( Next Update : Full on Hungama in front of the brar's as sahiba reveals why she will never set a foot in this house ever again....)

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Wow I so wanted to see this in show. I just hope they show something like this rather than any puke worthy drama or romance. I just hope Sahiba gives everyone in the Brar mansion mouthful and walk away. I really hope keerat supports her through this and help her out of depression and trauma. 

Awesome,  loved how sahiba took her stand,  drunk or not , forcing someone is not acceptable,  pls update the next part soon

A wonderful piece! I hope the creatives take some inspiration from this work of yours! Things have to be realistically portrayed. It’s not 18th century! We are in the 21st century!

Amazing work ❤️. Good thing I do not watch the episodes daily. This would turn me off immediately. 🤢

Please continue and I hope that Sahiba would be a successful woman who would literally make them see their own worth. 😈

Ho sake toh Daarji ko bhi na chorna! 😒

Please tag me whenever you update! 👍🏼

Nice start

Love it

Update soon 

How she stood up 👏👏

Can't wait for the next chapter, could y tag me please.

❤️

Angad beta - best thing you can do - grant her that annulment and  get your ass into therapy. One heartbreak  has made you this means you have unresolved issues and you need help. Go and get it.

Thank you  for giving us the scene we all wanted.

It was so nice 🙂🙂 

I just loved the thoughts of sahiba here she is standing up for her self respect 

Hey please tag me when you update 

Hello everyone..

Here I am with the second update on my take on the track forward in TMD. Hope you all reading this alternate version from my end. Somehow no matter what I just can't imagine - sahiba staying in the hell called brar mansion anymore...

Here you go..

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Take 2. Ashamed

Angad's POV

As expected the minute - Sahiba reaches the hall with me right behind her with my face all pale - everyone spots us and gets up from their respective spot at the dining table.

Daar ji, bebe, gurleen chachi, Veer are the firsts to eye Sahiba's suitcase behind her worriedly where as Muma, Jasleen bua, chachu, prabhjot bua, are the ones to glare at me hard in utter confusion- as if they were collectively wondering what was I doing coming out from Sahiba's room.

They look shell shocked. And honestly, I don't blame them...coz...I am still in shock over my own doing last night..

Shocked and Ashamed...

Daar Ji is the first one to step closer to Sahiba now whose standing in stony silence just looking at everyone look at her. Once again she's so rock solid in her stance that it makes me realise that there is a part of my mind that accepts that she's the most gutsy woman I have ever met. And perhaps everyone in my home including me perhaps have just had issues accepting her stony courageous guts..

As mom continues to gape at me in confusion - Daar ji asks Sahiba - " puttar...sahiba..yeh kya..??" ( eng : beta..sahiba...what's this??")

Before Sahiba can say anything - Muma asks me upfront gaping at me frazzled - " angad...yeh chal kya raha hai? Tum bolo??? Yeh tum sahiba ke kamre se kyun Nikle??" ( eng : angad what is this happening? You tell us? Why you stepping out of Sahiba's room??)

Gurleen chachi asks Sahiba worried - " yeh suitcase leke kahan jaa rahi ho Sahiba?? Kya hogaya subah subah??" ( eng : where are you headed with this suitcase sahiba? What happened so early morning ??)

Muma looks at gurleen chachi zapped - " gurleen yahan mujhe angad ki fikar hain aur tumhe iss ladki ki padi hai??" ( eng :  I am worried about anagd and you are worried about this girl..gurleen?)

Daar ji exclaims glaring at Muma - " manbeer...yeh ladki bhi kisi ki beti hai...yeh mat bhulo..." ( eng : manbeer don't you forget...this girl is also somebody's daughter...)

My guilt continues to eat me up at that...within...

Bebe asks Sahiba for answers again just as Jasleen bua begins to ask me- " angad did you really just spend the night in Sahibas room??"

Wait. Is it just me or do you all agree that Jasleen bua freaking aiming to add fuel in the fire??? Has she always been like this? Why on earth have I not noticed this yet? AM I STUPID OR WHAT??

Oh perhaps I am...

Muma asks Jasleen bua to shut up before I can say anything and Muma looks at me for answers again. I am so embarrassed and ashamed. All the while - Sahiba's just standing in a stony determined silence - though.

Sahiba finally looks at me now and she states her voice all cold and unraveled even though her eyes tell me she was still reliving the trauma of it all. The trauma I inflicted on her  - " kal raat kya hua...uski list main kholne lagi...toh yeh aapka beta...aap sab se kabhi nazrein nahi mila payega...jaise ki apne aap se nai mila paa raha hai abhi....kyun? Sahi kaha na maine angad...???" ( eng : whatever happened last night if I start listing it...then this son of yours will not be able to meet anyone's eyes just like he can't meet his own right now? Am i Right angad?? )

Damm.

She is right about that...

Again - Sahiba Kaur Monga and her guts in full swing.A small voice from my heart chips in - Sahiba Kaur Brar...you mean.My brain reminds me I am standing with her signed annulment papers in my hand. She's walking out on the marriage and me..

Everyone's still gaping at me shocked and frazzled..

Momentarily, I don't seem to have it in me to meet anyone's eyes..so I just look here and there. What to do? Oh perhaps - better  I just confess my own blunder?  That is when it strikes me as I look at Sahiba briefly as shes still staring at me - that by asking me this kyun angad bit? She's just given me the chance to come out clean to everyone rather than her be the one to embarrass me in front of my family...

Everyone begins to frazzle to their peaks one by one and ask me now led by muma, gurleen chachi  - " yeh kya keh rahi hai angad??" ( what is she saying??? Angad????)

I sigh as I finally take a deep breathe and look up at Daar ji who was eyeing me in a stony silence.Iv let him down. Let myself down. They surely didn't bring me up to become the sick version of myself last night..

Perhaps - the only way one can begin redemption for a solid wrong doing is by accepting it in the first place rather than seeking to throw blames around...

I gulp down my self guilt and shame as I nod and say to all - the gulp of it feeling like poison within - " sahi keh rahi hai sahiba..kal raat jo hua..uski list woh kholne lage...toh main sach mein aap sabse kabhi nazrein nai mila paunga...jaise ki apne aap se nai mila paa raha..isiliye...main hi..batata hun...aap sab ko...ki kya hua..."

 ( eng : she is stating the truth only...If she starts opening the list of what happened last night...I truly won't be able to meet any of yours eye just like I cannot meet mine...)

Sahiba's eyes widen at that in shock as if she never expected me to do this. She still seems unaffected on the whole though. I continue though looking down at my shoes on the floor giving everyone the basic highlight-  " I was drunk last night...so drunk...and I was angry...so angry...all I could think of was how much I hated sahiba...all I could think of was the betrayal..and...in my drunken stuper..all I can say is that I misbehaved with Sahiba in the way...I shouldn't ever have with her or with any woman foe that matter......thankfully she pushed me away from herself and I eventually ended up passing out drunk in her room...."

Stunned.Silence -  is what consumes the vibe in the hall now as everyone gapes at me - in shock and shame - not knowing what to say...

Muma looks at me pale as a sheet - " yeh kya keh diya tumne angad...yeh kya??? Tum aisa kabhi kar hi nai sakte..yeh isi ki galti hogi?she lured you in her room right??"  ( what did you just say angad?? What did you just say? I know u can never do something like this.. must be her fault only..she lured you in???)

Sahiba looks at her now in disbeleif as she says - " really?? Really manbeer ma'am...you blaming me for this? Yaad kariye..aap...aap ne hi mujhe room mein lock kiya tha bahar se..toh yeh main kaise karti thi? Haan??.." ( eng : you only remember you locked me from the out? So how could I do this??"

What??? Muma was the one to lock Sahiba from the out? This is so unlike Muma...but we'll whatever I did is so unlike me too...

Everyone's now gaping at Muma shocked at that revelation from Sahiba and Muma is standing stunned not knowing what to say.

Sahiba finally clears her throat and looks at all one by one and says- " angad ki badtameezi ki details mein mujhe nai jaana..kyunki..mujhe ek second ke liye bhi woh ghatiya pal yaad nai karne...par aap sab itna samajh lijiye ...ki...iski iss harqat ke baad...main yahan bass reh hi nai sakti...meri rooh Marr hi jayegi agar mein ek second aur yahan rahi...nai chahiye mujhe yeh sab...yeh Mrs brar ka tag...yeh aap sab ki ameer deewarein jo mere liye sirf nark hai...main yahan safe feel nai karti...aur na kabhi kar sakungi...aur mujhe dekhke bhi aap sab trigger hi hote ho...toh sahi yahi hoga ki yeh drama ab yahi band karein...syaape ki ilawa kuch nai hai yeh natak...aur mujhe ab yeh syaapa manzoor nai...apne atma sammaan ki cost pe toh bilkul hi nai...," she pauses only because Gurleen chachi has stepped closer to her just then as she spots the marks on her wrist and her cheek now - the marks my hands left. The marks that are proof of my manhandling..

( eng : I don't want to start listing angads misbehaviour because not even for a second I want to remember or relive those sick moments ...but you all just know that after what happened last night..I cannot stay here even for a second.. for if I do...it will be like killing my own soul..I do not want this Mrs brar tag any longer...I don't want any of this...I don't want...your rich walls which is only like hell for me...I don't feel safe here anymore I don't think I ever will...you all also always feel triggered seeing me so best is that this drama stops right here right now.. this drama is nothing but a toxic headache for me and I just don't want to put up with it anymore...never at the cost of my own self respect...)

Babaji...I swear...I am drowning in shame and guilt...

Gurleen chachi asks flabbergasted - " yeh nishaan...tumhare wrists pe...cheek pe...yeh...kaise...angad??" She looks at me shaken. ( eng : these marks on your cheeks? Wrist? Sahiba?? How?? Angad???)

That brings everyone's attention to Sahiba's wrist and face and all of a sudden the shock and shame is evident in everyone's eyes as Sahiba just stares at me cold and hard - knowing she didn't have to state the obvious. Sahiba sighs and asks Gurleen chachi now - " aap bhi ek ladki ki maa hai...haina...gurleen ma'am...ab aap hi bole...koi aapki beti ke saath aise badtmeezi kare? Aap kahengi usko uske saath rehne ke kiye???" ( eng : you are also a mother to a daughter so you tell me...gurleen ma'am...if some one misbehaves with your daughter this way will you ask her to stay in the man's house????)

That puts gurleen chachi in freeze mode. Sahiba walks up to Daarji now whose eyes have welled up in shame along with bebe as they look at me in disbelief and she asks them - " daar ji...bebe...aap ki bhi do beteiyaan haan...aap bolo...koi unke saath aise kare? Aapko manzoor hoga?" ( eng : daar ji, bebe....you have two daughters too...will you tolerate of some man behaves with them like this?)

They shake their heads in a No at that before Muted and stunned Bebe tears up and touches Sahiba's shoulder at that and Daar ji just glares at me hard. Once again taking the opportunity- jasleen bua begins to add fuel to the fire by mocking muma for brining me up to be the one to not respect women/ manhandle them/ misbehave with them etc etc...

I don't have any words to add in my defence in the moment. I deserve this shaming in front of them. Muma is looking at me expecting me to say something but I just can't.

Amidst everyone's questions and taunts finally Daar ji roars - " bass....bass karo tum sab...angad...maafi mango...Sahiba se abhi se abhi...sabke saamne.." ( eng : apologizeee to sahiba now...angad

..right very now...in front of everyone...)

I look up at that instantly and nod and take a step towards Sahiba and the way she cringes in her vibe at that and begins to step back holding her hand in front of me once again is a message for all to see that I have clearly traumatised her with her actions. She states at Daarji in disbelief though as she says frustrated- " maafi nai chahiye daar ji...maafi nai chahiye...azadi chahiye mujhe iss nark se...kal tak main sab seh rahi thi...par ab bass...aap sabki image bachane ke chukkar mein main khud ka gala nai got sakti...isiliye main jaa rahi hun...maine faisla kar liya hai...annulment ke papers sign kar diye hai maine...angad ke haath mein hai...sach chahe jitna bhi kadwa ho...sach hi sahi hai...aur sach yeh hai ki...mujhe Mrs Brar ka tag ab gawara nai..acting mein bhi gawara nai..."

( eng : I don't want his sorry daar ji...all I want is freedom...freedom from this hell I am trapped in that is this house...until yesterday I was bearing it all but not anymore...in order to save all of your image I cannot suffocate myself or my soul...I am leaving...my decision is made...i have signed the annulment papers and handed them over to angad..the truth no matter how bitter it is...it is the truth that is right and the truth is that I just don't want this Mrs Brar tag anymore...not even in the sake / name of acting...)

Everyone gapes at the papers in my hand at that and I clutch them harder.

Daar ji gapes at Sahiba - " puttar yeh tu kya keh rahi hai..." ( what you saying..beta??)

Veer comes to stand in sahibas defence at that as he gapes at me disbelief- " sahi toh keh rahi hai bhabhi...daar ji...mera toh dil baith gaya soch ke..ki maine angad bhai ko nai rota kal raat...unke pass jaate hue...mujhe hi rokna chahiye tha..toh yeh sab nai hota...." ( she is correct...I should have stopped him from going to her room..then perhaps none of this would have happened??"

Sahiba just looks at Daar ji at that as if he were the only she wanted to give more explanation - " aapne mujhpe bharosa kiya daar ji..aap mujhe yahan laaye...mujhe aapko badi respect hai...par apne aap ki bhi hai...main kisi aur ke liye apni aatma ko nai raakh bana sakti...aisa kiya toh mein rab ko kya shakal dikhayungi...aap maniye pls...aapne iss vyaah ki zidd karke..mere papaji ne iss vyaah ki zidd karke...angad aur mujhe nark mein dhakela...hai...aur yeh kuch din kaafi the yeh samjhne ke kiye...narq chahe sone( gold) ki ho...nark hi hoti hai..aur jiss jagah mera koi maan nai...izzat nai..meri safety nai..woh mere liye nark hai..woh nark jo kabhi ghar nai ho paayega...mujhe zindagi bhar ki saza manzoor nai...duniya ki thodi rusvayi main abh bhi seh lungi...par apne andar ki ghutan nai...dil ke sukoon ka koi mol nai daarji...koi mol nai...aur yeh aapka ghar ...mujhe sukoon toh kya ek pal ki saans bhi nai de sakta....mujhe nai manzoor yeh pinjra...yeh deewarein jahan koi sukh nai...koi sukh nai..."

( eng : you were the one who got me here daar ji...you trusted me...i really respect you..but I also respect myself a lot...for anyone else I cannot turn my soul to Ash.. how will I ever face my god/ myself after this??please you got to accept that by forcing angad into this marriage with me and my papaji forcing me...you shoved us both into hell...and a couple of days we're enough to realise this..even if hell is of gold...it is hell only daarji...and the place where there is no respect / understanding/ safety for me... it is like hell only for me...the hell that will never become a home for me...I am not ready for a punishment of a lifetime...I can still handle the worldly banter post this but not my inner suffocation by staying here longer...you got to understand...that for me..the peace of the heart is priceless..daarji and this house of yours let alone peace it can never give me a releived breath also...I don't want this cage...these dammed walls..where there is no peace...no happiness...)

That fron Sahiba just leads to Daar ji paling in his face at that. His face twitches in angst as he finally speaks now sitting with a thumb on the sofa and says out loud to all - " jaa sahiba tu jaa....tu jaana chahti hai toh jaa...tere saath jo hamare ghar mein galat hua..bass uske liye...main bahut sharminda hun...yeh jaan ke jaa...kaise maafi mangu pata nai.....main bhi tera gunhegaar hun puttar main bhi..." ( eng : go sahiba...go...if you wana go...you go...I am so embarrassed over whatever has happened with you in this house...just know that as you go...I don't even know how to say sorry to you...iv wronged you too...)

And as we all gape at Daarji in shock at that- Sahiba looks totally relieved as if she could finally breathe and without looking at either of us even once she just touches Daar ji and Bebe's feet at that. She doesnt ask Daar ji to not feel guilt not wanting to state the obvious again perhaps? That he is at fault. She just stays completely silent post getting up from touching their feet and and finally walks out the door with her suitcase with her head held high...without ..looking back even once...as everyone begins to murmur amongst themselves - with me rooted to my spot ashamed and shocked still -

Jasleen bua is on and on now making Muma feel worse about me and the situation.Gurleen chachi stays mute in a disappointed silent along with Veer. Prabhjot bua joins Jasleen bua ...as muma looks at me in shock, shame and disbelief too..

And i cant seem to look at anyone though but the sight of sahiba's back as it finally vanishes from my line of vision. Its over. Its done. She has walked out - leaving me drowned in only truckloads of shame, guilt and remorse now more than ever as her last words continued to haunt my ears.

Perhaps if she would have looked back at me once just once -she would have spotted how much I was repenting ??Not that it mattered to her anyway.She doesn't give a damm about me and I can't really blame her..

Sahiba Kaur Monga had just given me exactly what I wanted. She'd just walked out of my home / my life just like I wanted.  Then why am I LEFT standind here - suddenly feeling completley shattered within by the development?

.................

Tadaaaa!

How was that guys??? Hope you enjoyed reading this bit from my end. I am totally just penning down what I would have liked to see in the show...

Awaiting your feedback!

Much love × Gratitude Now and always

Prachi