Originally posted by: FingerFetishP A T H A A N R E V I E W
Caution: Review might be longer than my life expectancy. Sorry 😭
I’m still at the cinemas and have already started writing my review while I wait for the interval to finish. The first half of the movie has been completed and I’m literally screaming. So I’ve attended this session with my mum and aunties, meaning I have to be a bit more sanskari with my thirsty reactions. Before the movie started, a random girl sitting next to me suddenly sat forward, covered her face with her hands and appeared like she was crying. My eyes welled up with emotion, thinking wow, she’s as emotional as me about SRK returning after four long years. Her friend was patting her on the back and I was about to start patting her too, whispering “I know how you feel. I love him too”. Anyway, false alarm, turns out she had period pain. Thank god I decided to be a bystander for once.
The movie started and I already began tearing up with happiness. Then came SRK’s entry and MAN, when I tell you that the tears will not stop. Looking at the love of my celebrity life onscreen after so long was next level kind of high. The background music and the fight choreography was actually bloody fcuken phenomenal. Unfortunately, my cinema hall was filled with elderly sanskari people, so I was the only one who screamed. Mind you, my scream was quite controlled since I was sandwiched between my auntie and a depressed chick with stomach cramps. But it’s okay, on Sunday I’ll be watching the film with 20 girls and they’re all screamers. I’ll save my vocal chords till then.
SRK is amazing, we already know that, but OH MY LAWD, John Abraham! JOHN SEXY ABRAHAM IS THE HOTTEST VILLAIN TO HAVE EVER GRACED THIS EARTH. You’ll understand and remember this review when you watch his entry scene. I’ve never in the history of my life, apart from seeing HR’s entry in War, ever felt weak to the knees despite sitting down. All 6’1 of him dressed in that one piece outfit had me fanning my face. The chick next to me even forgot about her cramps, while I made a vow that I’ll never marry a man less than him. Hello single days for life. 👋🏼 The whole time I was thinking there’s no chance in hell that him and his wife only has a marriage of convenience. Fcuk right off. I was like an animal in constraints. I had no one to vocalise how insanely insanely good he looked. John is made to be a villain. Possibly one of his FINEST performances ever.
Deepika looked stunning but this movie belongs to John and SRK. I’m sorry DP fans, but SRK and John had more chemistry and it was an honour for me to watch my Pati Dev and Mistress share the same screen. Don’t want to spoil anything but just remember the key word “Deepika” and “roller skates”. When I tell you that I almost back flipped into my grave from laughing so hard, then you’ll know just how funny that scene was.
Salman’s cameo scene was no shock despite the audience gasping with surprise. No one from the audience was clearly a member of India Forums and it shows. Two ladies behind me tried clapping for him but I whipped my head back like the exorcist and gave them the death stare. If nobody cheered for SRK or John, then it’ll be a long day in hell before I let them cheer for Salman. We either cheer for everyone or nobody at all. ITS THE LAW.
OMG this review is longer than my life expectancy. I’ll hurry and wrap it up. The second half was pretty good but it’s the first half of the film that steals the show. I’ll be honest with you, I hate action-mission-impossible-coded-kinda films. I usually fall into an open mouthed coma after giving up trying to figure out what these intelligence force acronyms stand for, who is who, what these codes mean and why the fcuk are they on this mission again? That’s my thought process with these kind of movies. You’ll be proud to know that ALTHOUGH nothing has changed, I did make an effort and almost understood what was happening 75% of the time. This is a ME problem though and not a PATHAAN problem.
The choreography of the one-to-one fight scenes was phenomenal between SRK and John. I loved how realistic it was with the fact that majority of the time John was shown to be the more physically stronger man. As much as I always want SRK to win a fight, it just made his character look more real and human when he lost some fights against John.
The only downfall is that the machines/devices used and the flying against gravity scenes was so ridiculously OTT that I had my eyes rolling to the back of my skull. However, this kind of exaggeration is expected with BW action films so I can’t even complain. You just have to expect it and cope with it.
Overall, a very entertaining and paisa vasool film (not sure if that’s the word but I saw Munna using it). Please do book your tickets guys and be prepared to welcome the king of Bollywood because he’s FCUKING BACK WITH A BANG. As a SRK fan you’ll feel all the emotions throughout the movie. I cried again at the end because I know that he’s finally back and he deserves all the success in the world.
For me Bollywood starts and ends with SRK. ❤️
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