viaan is just meme 🤣 materialOriginally posted by: mango.falooda
kekekeke... after posting, even I was wondering why I wrote so much for papaG of all people. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 
people write poems and notes on MLs... but instead papaG inspired long, long essay in me.🤣🤣
viaan is not good ML at all -- we are having too fun laughing at him. 😂😂
blame it on harry and reactions to the weird book. 😂 made me think about family squabbles and the drama that happens. 
Originally posted by: Prateeksha19viaan is just meme 🤣 material
He is the meme king right now🤣🤣without him in the epi, twitter gets boring😂😂
Originally posted by: mango.falooda
kekekeke... after posting, even I was wondering why I wrote so much for papaG of all people. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
🤣
people write poems and notes on MLs... but instead papaG inspired long, long essay in me.🤣🤣
viaan is not good ML at all -- we are having too fun laughing at him. 😂😂
blame it on harry and reactions to the weird book. 😂 made me think about family squabbles and the drama that happens.
Viaan is a boon for memers 😂
Yeh harry ka kya hai yaar 🤣 You mentioning it in the DT made me curious and the first post I came across on Twitter was some clip from his book where he's talking about his frosty thing.. Uske baad meri kuch himmat hi nahi hui aur dekhne ki.. I was like enough internet for today 😂
Originally posted by: mango.falooda
thanks for the compliment dear but really, I had to learn how to express. I think I do a better job of writing since I have had some experience with it now but verbally that is an area I still struggle though I have gotten better over the years. as humans, we are all continuing learning and growing no?
part of my growth was doing a personality test in my 20s and finding out I have more of an INTJ personality. that really helped me as I was struggling with certain interpersonal issues. folks in that personality group tend to struggle with communication because we process things very differently and have a different view of the world. finding that out was a real 'aha' moment for me. so I learned that providing context is key to how you frame your thoughts and that can help smooth over communication issues. we don't have to agree but at least we are able to hear each other out on why we have different perspectives.
especially online, we all come from different backgrounds, ages and experiences. so our reactions to characters and dramas are framed by those personal stuff but we often have no idea what is driving our reaction. so if we take a step back and give a little detail on how we are arriving at our reactions, it can help smooth things over in the forum. sometimes, it happens naturally and sometimes it happens over several conversation. basically you can agree to disagree but in the process, you learn about yourself and where you stand on certain issues. so that is always helpful to know and understand your own context to how you operate.
and regards to parent-child conflict, 20s is such a terrible time because of the whole shaadi and settling down aspect. parents have one view, children have another and there is a whole tug of war that happens. so yea, tons of conflict and it isn't just about control. it is about that transition to an adult relationship and all the teething issues that comes with it. it takes time but in most families, eventually that happens.
Mango can you please explain more on intj personality???.. I also tend to struggle with communication most of my life... Still not good at it.
Originally posted by: Ritzzee23
Mango can you please explain more on intj personality???.. I also tend to struggle with communication most of my life... Still not good at it.
so broadly speaking, there are 16 personalities. you can take a test to figure out which group you belong to. have had friends and families take it and it is mostly accurate. basically it gives you a broad view of your pluses and minuses and how you operate.
I -- stands for introverted. people think of that as shy but within social psychology, it simply refers to how you recharge. so good 90% of folks who are on drama forums and spending lots of there are all introverted. we need alone time to recharge; it is not that we don't love socialising or enjoy it but basically we need alone time to destress and take a breather. I used to be a voracious reader when I was younger and later shifted to dramas. for me, they are the same thing -- just that dramas are visual stories as opposed to words on a book. extroverted people recharge by socializing and going out.
to understand mind: introverted vs extroverted -- read here
N - stands intuitive. within social psychology, it refers to how you react to situations. so intuitive people are basically dissecting things and how things can shape. there is a lot of imagination at work. I would say that I can spot disasters a mile away. people would say that I am negative and I would get so irritated. what was obvious to me wasn't obvious to them. whereas observant people, just take things as they are and react. so no overanalyzing in some ways.
to understand energy: intuitive vs observant -- read here
T - stands for thinking. basically how do you make a decision? is it a feeling or you relying on info? I tend to be very cutthroat when it comes to relying on my mind to make a decision. sometimes people would say I am cold hearted but I am more of a finance type person. look at the facts and lets leave the emotions out of it is my type of thinking. whereas if you rely on feeling more to make a decision, then obviously that will lead to conflict between the two styles.
to understand nature: thinking vs feeling -- read here
J -- stands for judging. basically how do you react to a crisis? with judging, you tend to have checklists and a plan ahead. so any emergency, your mind automatically comes up with things on how to manage. the plus side is that while everyone is floundering, you can be very calm during an emergency. the downside is you tend to feel very stressed and anxious without a game plan. you need a sense of lay of the land to figure out how to operate. prospecting people tend to be react to a situation as opposed to figuring out how to manage. so more easy going in some ways.
to understand: tactics: judging vs prospecting -- read here
INTJ personalities are actually not that common; only about 2% and most are men and are in sciences. so basically you have an independent mind and it made sense to me why I felt like an outlier at times while growing up.
if I had to explain, these phrases from the article (in link) encapsulates it -- "both the boldest of dreamers and the bitterest of pessimists...(they) are full of contradictions. They are imaginative yet decisive, ambitious yet private, and curious yet focused. From the outside, these contradictions may seem baffling, but they make perfect sense once you understand the inner workings of (their) mind "
so basically all these contradictions, different way of processing and communicating did cause problems for me. for me, understanding the context to my personality was a real light bulb moment. I wont' say that I fit every bullet in that personality list (sometimes it may seem that I am more INTP which is another similar personality type) but very broadly yes, it does fit.
so it gives you context on what are some pitfalls, what are your pluses and things you can may be do to help you navigate your minuses. basically a personality test does not define you but it can give you a broad layout of the land if you are wondering why you react a certain way to situation in comparison to others.
so yea, I would definitely encourage folks to take a personality test and get a broad overview of themselves. there are lots of sites that offer free tests but the link I have included -- I found it easy to understand what they were saying.
ritzee -- let me know what you think after you take the test and read the result.
Friday's episode actually showed a problem that is present in almost every Indian (or even Asian) family that we refuse to acknowledge. The "Mai" problem as Mummyji pointed out. The man of the house thinks that he 'owns' everyone in his house. He will set the boundary and rest will follow it. He has seen generations before doing it, he has been suppressed by his father and now thinks that its his duty. No matter how old, mature and intelligent his dependents (wife and children) are, he thinks that they need his protection. Its not like he does not love them, he does love them very much, so much that it suffocates them.
This conflict is also seen in Mils. The respect/love that their husbands fail to give them, they seek from their sons. They see their sons as a ticket to gain respect and their wives (the Dils) as direct competitors which leads all the Saas Bahu drama.
The only thing that I disagree with you is Katha's role. Adi's parents are Adi's problem not Katha's. And as far as they have shown in the show, it implies that both Adi and Katha tried their best to convince Mr. G. They even tried to introduce Aarav to them. They clearly talk about this when Katha goes to ask for money the first time. There is only so much that they could do. If Katha is too persistent then that would imply that she is too desperate to get into Garewal house, confirming Mr. G's belief that she is a gold-digger.
Originally posted by: mango.falooda
so broadly speaking, there are 16 personalities. you can take a test to figure out which group you belong to. have had friends and families take it and it is mostly accurate. basically it gives you a broad view of your pluses and minuses and how you operate.
I -- stands for introverted. people think of that as shy but within social psychology, it simply refers to how you recharge. so good 90% of folks who are on drama forums and spending lots of there are all introverted. we need alone time to recharge; it is not that we don't love socialising or enjoy it but basically we need alone time to destress and take a breather. I used to be a voracious reader when I was younger and later shifted to dramas. for me, they are the same thing -- just that dramas are visual stories as opposed to words on a book. extroverted people recharge by socializing and going out.
to understand mind: introverted vs extroverted -- read here
N - stands intuitive. within social psychology, it refers to how you react to situations. so intuitive people are basically dissecting things and how things can shape. there is a lot of imagination at work. I would say that I can spot disasters a mile away. people would say that I am negative and I would get so irritated. what was obvious to me wasn't obvious to them. whereas observant people, just take things as they are and react. so no overanalyzing in some ways.
to understand energy: intuitive vs observant -- read here
T - stands for thinking. basically how do you make a decision? is it a feeling or you relying on info? I tend to be very cutthroat when it comes to relying on my mind to make a decision. sometimes people would say I am cold hearted but I am more of a finance type person. look at the facts and lets leave the emotions out of it is my type of thinking. whereas if you rely on feeling more to make a decision, then obviously that will lead to conflict between the two styles.
to understand nature: thinking vs feeling -- read here
J -- stands for judging. basically how do you react to a crisis? with judging, you tend to have checklists and a plan ahead. so any emergency, your mind automatically comes up with things on how to manage. the plus side is that while everyone is floundering, you can be very calm during an emergency. the downside is you tend to feel very stressed and anxious without a game plan. you need a sense of lay of the land to figure out how to operate. prospecting people tend to be react to a situation as opposed to figuring out how to manage. so more easy going in some ways.
to understand: tactics: judging vs prospecting -- read here
INTJ personalities are actually not that common; only about 2% and most are men and are in sciences. so basically you have an independent mind and it made sense to me why I felt like an outlier at times while growing up.
if I had to explain, these phrases from the article (in link) encapsulates it -- "both the boldest of dreamers and the bitterest of pessimists...(they) are full of contradictions. They are imaginative yet decisive, ambitious yet private, and curious yet focused. From the outside, these contradictions may seem baffling, but they make perfect sense once you understand the inner workings of (their) mind "
so basically all these contradictions, different way of processing and communicating did cause problems for me. for me, understanding the context to my personality was a real light bulb moment. I wont' say that I fit every bullet in that personality list (sometimes it may seem that I am more INTP which is another similar personality type) but very broadly yes, it does fit.
so it gives you context on what are some pitfalls, what are your pluses and things you can may be do to help you navigate your minuses. basically a personality test does not define you but it can give you a broad layout of the land if you are wondering why you react a certain way to situation in comparison to others.
so yea, I would definitely encourage folks to take a personality test and get a broad overview of themselves. there are lots of sites that offer free tests but the link I have included -- I found it easy to understand what they were saying.
ritzee -- let me know what you think after you take the test and read the result.
Thankz yaar for this information. I will take the test.. Very curious to know my personality type... Will tell after testing it. 💗😍
Originally posted by: Shri_12Friday's episode actually showed a problem that is present in almost every Indian (or even Asian) family that we refuse to acknowledge. The "Mai" problem as Mummyji pointed out. The man of the house thinks that he 'owns' everyone in his house. He will set the boundary and rest will follow it. He has seen generations before doing it, he has been suppressed by his father and now thinks that its his duty. No matter how old, mature and intelligent his dependents (wife and children) are, he thinks that they need his protection. Its not like he does not love them, he does love them very much, so much that it suffocates them.
This conflict is also seen in Mils. The respect/love that their husbands fail to give them, they seek from their sons. They see their sons as a ticket to gain respect and their wives (the Dils) as direct competitors which leads all the Saas Bahu drama.
The only thing that I disagree with you is Katha's role. Adi's parents are Adi's problem not Katha's. And as far as they have shown in the show, it implies that both Adi and Katha tried their best to convince Mr. G. They even tried to introduce Aarav to them. They clearly talk about this when Katha goes to ask for money the first time. There is only so much that they could do. If Katha is too persistent then that would imply that she is too desperate to get into Garewal house, confirming Mr. G's belief that she is a gold-digger.
I hope my net connection stays while I type this.
so agree with points 1 and 2. in regards to point 3, it is debatable. do you remember the movie "kabhi kushi kabhi gham"? in the final scene, you find out that amitabh bachan's father character was waiting all those years for SKR's son character to come home and apologize. I remember when I first watched it, my reaction was: "whaaaaaaattttt?????" 🤦♀️
but now, after having ring side view to real life parent-child conflicts, I would say that the movie is actually spot on. there are many parents out there who want the child to apologize first. there is a mountain of hurt and they feel humiliated and not valued and respected if they make the first move. lot of it is cultural and how we have a heirachy and rituals on how we observe respect and effort. so even with apology, we expect that kind of respect and ritual to be observed. on the other side, the children are like "we made enough effort." so how much effort is the right effort to resolve a conflict then becomes debatable.
also even if effort is made, it can sometimes be seen as insincere or not enough effort. let me share a real life example of family conflict in action:
party A (to bystanders): we sent a whatsapp message to invite them to function but they didn't even acknowledge
party B (to bystanders): is whatsapp the way to invite?!
party A (to bystanders): well, they won't even pick up our calls. so how exactly are we supposed to invite?
party B (to bystanders): shouldn't invitations be done face to face?
party A (to bystanders): well, if you don't even acknowledge whatsapp, don't pick up phone, how do we know that you won't slam the door in our face?
this sounds like a comedy of errors isn't it? while that is being passed around in the family gossip chain, us bystanders watching this ping pong battle are also having varied reactions:
bystander 1: this is dumb. are we arguing over whether whatsapp message is good effort?
bystander 2: whatsapp message is not good effort at all. obviously
bystander 3: they invited you and you don't have the decency to accept?
bystander 4: shouldn't someone make the first move to thaw? why are we grading effort here?
bystander 5: a good event is a time to put aside pettiness. what kind of dumb reason is this to keep fighting?
my point is that when it comes to effort or whether someone made enough effort can always be questioned. did katha make enough effort? we don't really know or if we do, it will still be debatable and perceptions may vary.
in mili's thread, shalzie asked a great question -- why did it take so long for mamaG to want to see aarav? why didn't she make effort earlier? my guess is that perhaps mamaG agreed with papaG and felt the bridges were broken and cannot be mended. however, with aarav's illness, she had a change of heart and all of a sudden a life and death situation made her dismiss all those old hurts as pointless.
M, I agree with everything you have written but I have to admit that I ended up laughing at the bystanders' story. I had the same reaction as you in respect of K3G. Anyway, we don't really have to take examples from fiction. In my own personal life, no matter how independent and opinionated I may be, I am always the one who is apologising to my parents. It doesn't matter that I am not wrong but it all comes down to respect. They expect that respect and to maintain the role of the elder and wiser ones in the family.
As for PapaG, we need more background on why he didn't accept Katha. I recall that there was a mention that she is not of the same status but I don't remember much. It's easy to judge but people are made up of their upbringing, environment, circumstances, situations and experiences. Not everyone has the courage to unlearn what they have been taught and form their own opinions. It's also not easy for some to go against societal pressure. Per my understanding, PapaG was heartbroken by the fact that his son did not choose him, and then died. There must be an element of guilt which is eating him up on the inside. We don't have enough background information to form an opinion on PapaG. But he earns points from me for the love which he feels for his wife. I will give the karoos a chance to turn things around. The good thing about life is that anyone can start over at any time.
Confession: I am only reacting to your post. In case I went off topic, bear with me🤣time is a luxury in my life.
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