|~| Crimes Against Her |~| - Page 2

Posted: 1 years ago
Originally posted by Srijeeta06


@ bold

I live in Delhi, which obviously has impacted my parents a lot especially after the 2012 case.

So they still don’t allow me to travel alone.

They are of the concept that either travel with a friends or later with husband but not alone.

@green

I think we all are.

There is this concept of ‘kanyadaan’ in Hindu marriage.

So few months back I was telling my mom to not do this ritual in my case because firstly it’s quite disrespectful owing to the fact that it seems as if one is giving away a commodity and humans or for that matter any living creature at least is not that.

And secondly, it’s a bad practice that we need to now break through.

Dad argued that it is something which is being practiced for generations, how can we defy it?


@ Bold: My extended family is in Karnal and when we are there we do a lot of back and forth between Delhi (obviously for the airport, but also shopping and my cousin lives in Gurugram so traveling through Delhi). Anyways last time I was there, my grandfather passed away and this was at a time when there were riots going on for some reservation issue. They had blocked roads going to and from Delhi and it was hard to get by. I still remember that even though I wanted to go for my grandfather's last rites as my mother couldn't, both my mamajis refused. They said it wasn't safe and it was true. They were 4 men in the car and yet they were still followed for quite some time by a group of hooligans once they entered Delhi. They came home and said something that still disturbs me to this day - Agar tu hamare saath hoti toh aaj humse koi wapas nahi aaya hota aur tu bahut gandi halat mein milti (they meant something we all understand).


@ Green: I do understand your dad's point though. It's sadly the same perspective we all take. If it ain't broke, why fix it? Or it's always been done like that.

Posted: 1 years ago
Originally posted by MinionBoss



@ Bold: My extended family is in Karnal and when we are there we do a lot of back and forth between Delhi (obviously for the airport, but also shopping and my cousin lives in Gurugram so traveling through Delhi). Anyways last time I was there, my grandfather passed away and this was at a time when there were riots going on for some reservation issue. They had blocked roads going to and from Delhi and it was hard to get by. I still remember that even though I wanted to go for my grandfather's last rites as my mother couldn't, both my mamajis refused. They said it wasn't safe and it was true. They were 4 men in the car and yet they were still followed for quite some time by a group of hooligans once they entered Delhi. They came home and said something that still disturbs me to this day - Agar tu hamare saath hoti toh aaj humse koi wapas nahi aaya hota aur tu bahut gandi halat mein milti (they meant something we all understand).


@ Green: I do understand your dad's point though. It's sadly the same perspective we all take. If it ain't broke, why fix it? Or it's always been done like that.

@ bold

This audacity is the thing I am talking about.

This concept that since we are males we can do things to instil fear or harm a female in any possible way is a attitude that comes from the fact that somewhere someone told them that you are the superior beings.

But the irony of life is these people are the ones who celebrate female deity for power and justice.

@ green

My mom though agreed with the fact after I explained to her why I think it’s important to break it.



I once read a book by  Nietzsche who said ‘what we deem as evil today was not so in the past and what was deemed as evil in the past may not be evil in present or future’ Good or evil is dependent on perspective and changes according to time (I don’t remember the exact quote, but something on these lines)


But what saddens me most is the fact that ITV is a brilliant medium to break these stereotypes but it’s doing nothing to help make changes to the society.

Edited by Srijeeta06 - 1 years ago
Posted: 1 years ago
Originally posted by Srijeeta06


@ bold

This audacity is the thing I am talking about.

This concept that since we are males we can do things to instil fear or harm a female in any possible way is a attitude that comes from the fact that somewhere someone told them that you are the superior beings.

But the irony of life is these people are the ones who celebrate female deity for power and justice.

@ green

My mom though agreed with the fact after I explained to her why I think it’s important to break it.



I once read a book by  Nietzsche who said ‘what we deem as evil today was not so in the past and what was deemed as evil in the past may not be evil in present or future’ Good or evil is dependent on perspective and changes according to time (I don’t remember the exact quote, but something on these lines)


But what saddens me most is the fact that ITV is a brilliant medium to break these stereotypes but it’s doing nothing to help make changes to the society.


@ Bold: I love this quote. So nicely put and so aptly put. It also applies in so many parts of life and media today. Today, we force people to apologize for things they did 20 years ago. Arre 20 years ago that was fine. They thought it was fine. Make them apologize if they do it today.


@ Red: ITV is a joke. All we have is crying mahaan bahus, naagins, werewolves, makhis, some more mahaan bahus, forced marriages, Stockholm Syndrome, etc. It's very rare to find a good show on ITV nowadays that doesn't fall into these categories or doesn't become like this for TRPs.

Posted: 1 years ago
Originally posted by Srijeeta06


I agree with most of the points above except for predetermining the sex of the child.

This right for now if given will lead to more of female infanticide than that of saving a female child and we will again be at a position where male female sex ratio will go further down.

While I'm aware that a skewed male:female sex ratio may lead to increased violence against females, I'm not willing to sacrifice the reproductive autonomy of women who are already here. I prioritize the rights and welfare of female persons over unborn females.


Every woman deserves the right to decide which pregnancies to continue, and to plan her own family with whatever input she allows her partner. If the fetus has a genetic condition that would require the woman to sacrifice her quality of life, her right to end the pregnancy should not be infringed by any law. Laws that protect a fetus on the basis of one such genetic condition - its sex - establish a precedent to deny women full information about their own bodies, leaving them to deal with the consequences without support.


Instead, there should be laws requiring counselling to accompany prenatal sex determination. The goal should be to identify women who are being pressured to choose fetal sex, and connect them to support services that can help them to educate or leave an abusive family. At worst, the women would choose prenatal sex determination and abortion anyway, but it wouldn't be illegal and unsafe. Better outcomes such as single mothers with female children or families becoming more welcoming of daughters would also be possible.

Originally posted by Srijeeta06



‘Sex’ is a taboo in today’s world and if someone says something regarding that it will mostly be criticised.

The law student was trying people to make aware of the risks involved with unprotected intercourse but unfortunately most people don’t understand or know the broader sense of it as they have never been exposed to it.

You may be thinking of a different law student. The one that I cited was not trying to educate sexually active people. She was testifying before lawmakers on the subject of health insurance.


Ovarian cysts are not caused by sex, but they are prevented by the same pills that are taken for contraception. The law student testified that one of her classmates could not afford "birth control" pills because the religiously affiliated university's health insurance plan refused to pay for them, even as a treatment for polycystic ovary syndrome. As a result, she suffered premature ovarian failure and a much worsened quality of life.

Posted: 1 years ago

The right to continue the pregnancy or not I agree should be with the person carrying the child.

And I think it already is.

MTPs are advised by doctors whenever they felt it to be necessary.

But I have seen females who want to continue knowing the fact that they may not survive the pregnancy.

And the explanation is that’s the right thing to do as a female because this is what everyone wants and it’s my duty to do so.

The issue isn’t that much about the law but more with the ‘conditioning’ I think.

Posted: 1 years ago
Originally posted by MinionBoss


Today, we force people to apologize for things they did 20 years ago. Arre 20 years ago that was fine. They thought it was fine. Make them apologize if they do it today.

I disagree. Justice delayed is justice denied. If someone wants to be respected today, when we recognize that a certain behaviour is wrong, let him/her apologize for behaving badly in the past, or even be punished for past crimes.


I don't think that what someone did years ago should spoil what s/he has accomplished since then. For example, if someone made a sexist remark years ago, it is counterproductive to force him/her to resign from an organization that supports women's equality. Acknowledge that what happened was not fine, but the person can be redeemed by fixing mistakes and taking positive actions.

Posted: 1 years ago
Originally posted by MinionBoss



@ Bold: I love this quote. So nicely put and so aptly put. It also applies in so many parts of life and media today. Today, we force people to apologize for things they did 20 years ago. Arre 20 years ago that was fine. They thought it was fine. Make them apologize if they do it today.


@ Red: ITV is a joke. All we have is crying mahaan bahus, naagins, werewolves, makhis, some more mahaan bahus, forced marriages, Stockholm Syndrome, etc. It's very rare to find a good show on ITV nowadays that doesn't fall into these categories or doesn't become like this for TRPs.

@ bold

True.

But the apology if it doesn’t come from within or without understanding the mistake, platonic apology holds no value per se.

And that’s where most of us falter, as then the vicious cycle continues.

@ green

Unfortunately yes.

And the worst part is ITV is one of the major medium which has the direct impact on people and thus can play an extremely important role in making the world better in every possible way.

Posted: 1 years ago
Originally posted by Srijeeta06


@ bold

True.

But the apology if it doesn’t come from within or without understanding the mistake, platonic apology holds no value per se.

And that’s where most of us falter, as then the vicious cycle continues.

@ green

Unfortunately yes.

And the worst part is ITV is one of the major medium which has the direct impact on people and thus can play an extremely important role in making the world better in every possible way.


@ Bold: Agreed on this. It's the same whether that apology is for something from 20 years ago or today.


The Me Too movement was so important but it didn't change anything in HW or BW. A few people went out of work, maybe the odd person got sentenced, but life just goes on.

Posted: 1 years ago
Originally posted by Srijeeta06


The right to continue the pregnancy or not I agree should be with the person carrying the child.

And I think it already is.

That depends on the jurisdiction and society and medical facilities where you live. I live in Canada, where many women suffer because legally protected health care is just too far away geographically. Does a right really exist, if it is inaccessible?

Originally posted by Srijeeta06



MTPs are advised by doctors whenever they felt it to be necessary.

But I have seen females who want to continue knowing the fact that they may not survive the pregnancy.

And the explanation is that’s the right thing to do as a female because this is what everyone wants and it’s my duty to do so.

The issue isn’t that much about the law but more with the ‘conditioning’ I think.

I went to a funeral once for a baby whose body was never compatible with life. The mother had been advised that the oversized pregnancy could kill her too, but she switched to a doctor who was more supportive of her faith-based decision to risk her life for the baby that she already loved. She was young and previously healthy; she survived, and even had a healthy baby next time, but her grief was awful to watch and hear.


Do I have the right to draw a line between a woman's religious indoctrination and her own love/stupidity/principles/whims? I don't think so. So, when she was suffering avoidably and needed comfort, I told her that she had done the right thing and she would be rewarded. It wasn't the right thing according to me, but she had followed her own conscience and I had to respect that.


I can help to create a world where women feel safe prioritizing their own health, where no obstetrician graduates without abortion training, and men respect women's contributions ... but ultimately, karmaṇy ev'ādhikāro me, mā phaleṣu kadācana.

Posted: 1 years ago
Originally posted by Srijeeta06


I agree with most of the points above except for predetermining the sex of the child.

This right for now if given will lead to more of female infanticide than that of saving a female child and we will again be at a position where male female sex ratio will go further down.

But, if upper class Indians and moneyed Indians travel abroad for work or vacation, they could find out the sex of unborn baby. They can terminate the pregnancy after finding out the sex of the baby or throw huge baby shower with blue things or pink things as they know the gender 😊

When sex determination was valid in India, my aunts and uncles had girls and boys each and in my family circle, I’ve seen families celebrating when girls are born ❤️

IMO, Just like other countries, India should make sex determination legal like how it was before. So that couples can prepare for the journey happily 

Edited by Swetha-Sai - 1 years ago

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