How do you deal with it?

I am fed up with misogyny in real world and online. It’s been making me sad and angry for the past few months ever since Roe vs wade was overturned and seeing so many misogynists posts and celebrations for it. After experiencing hellish years in Pakistan, I felt a bit comfortable and secured after getting to US thinking women have some rights here and I will be fine here. But recently I have realized how many misogynist men and internalized misogynist women exist here too. The main thing stopping them are the laws but even that’s changing now. 

Recently I was banned from group because I disagreed with the misogyny there. That group wasn’t even about some social issue. It was about finances and that what I had joined for. But I didn’t know much that the group had mostly Christian fanatics who believe feminism is Illuminati conspiracy and is an evil ideology destroying families, and Trump is sent as a messenger to save US until Roe vs Wade was overturned and so many were celebrating and saying shit about women who do abortion and have sex. How they will get karma for lifetimes to do abortion. Another member in the group would keep posting Alpha man posts, feminism is evil, Andrew Tate is great, Taliban are good to women, etc. I started to get into fights with him and asked the group and moderator why all this was allowed only to be met by how feminism is actually started by NWO and how I am brainwashed to not know this. How I am crazy, emotional and need a boyfriend to chill. The group was ran by a woman and she didn’t do anything against such posts and said to ignore. But the guy kept making such posts and would get support by some men and women there. The group also had a lot of Trump, Putin, etc supporters and would make fun of democrats and liberals all the time. In the end the misogyny lead to fights between that guy and me and she decided to ban us both. She liked his posts about feminism is destroying families and it was started by NWO. Also told me him saying I need a boyfriend to not be angry and chill is just a joke and why I am taking it serious. I wondered why she’s even running a business if feminism is so bad because before feminism movement women in America couldn’t even vote, get education, own property, work and run a business, have bank account, etc. 

Now Andrew Tate whom I actually first found about from this group has converted to Islam and many misogynists men are welcoming him saying all his sins are forgiven while bashing and mocking any muslim woman bothered by his sexual trafficking, rape, and misogyny when muslim women are judged if they just show hair by the same men in the community. He has found a new target audience among misogynist religious men. I am tired with this world where everywhere misogyny is enforced by cultures, religions, and people. How do other women here deal with misogyny and what should I do and how to deal with as it’s making feel not well mentally and emotionally? 

Edited by The_Best - 1 years ago

I am glad I found someone like minded. I am fed up of misogyny in family, society, online,  media and everywhere and also among women and lack of women to support each other or resist it.

I feel I was ruined in life, had low self esteem, self hate and could not lead life of my dreams or pursue career of own choice purely due to misogyny. I hate how each system and custom is rigged against women.

Why women toe the line and follow this shit or remain silent?

You named public figures. I hate both them as well as misogyny in homes.

I feel it has affected my mental health, induced existential crisis and made me have death wish.

I hate how men bully, gaslight women and why women yield or tolerate them 

Im a guy so you might not want my opinion. But can I ask you about your experiences in Pakistan ? How bad did things get ? 

Originally posted by: atominis

I am glad I found someone like minded. I am fed up of misogyny in family, society, online,  media and everywhere and also among women and lack of women to support each other or resist it.

I feel I was ruined in life, had low self esteem, self hate and could not lead life of my dreams or pursue career of own choice purely due to misogyny. I hate how each system and custom is rigged against women.

Why women toe the line and follow this shit or remain silent?

You named public figures. I hate both them as well as misogyny in homes.

I feel it has affected my mental health, induced existential crisis and made me have death wish.

I hate how men bully, gaslight women and why women yield or tolerate them 

I feel like it has affected my mental health too as I can’t even go to Pakistan. Afghanistan, etc without becoming depressed and hating all men. I don’t want to hate all men as I know good men, but the things which I see there and women experience makes me so mad to start hating them all. I felt the same in Turkey because I mostly saw men outside and very few women outside. I realize now I feel comfortable in US, but seeing even that’s ruining is making me triggered with all the things I experienced in my family and in Pakistan. I used to pray to God to make me a boy so I can get some freedom there. What makes me more sad and mad is the fact that many times it’s the women who enforce it. Even in my personal life it was my grandmother who kept me out of school, not allowed to go outside, and everything for years because of misogynist beliefs. At this point I don’t care whether it’s man or woman because they both do it which makes me mad at both. Also many people just don’t understand because they are privileged who had a childhood and family where they were supported for being a girl/woman so they don’t care and instead blame you to defend their culture or religion. 

Originally posted by: Maroonporsche

Im a guy so you might not want my opinion. But can I ask you about your experiences in Pakistan ? How bad did things get ? 

I wasn’t allowed to go to school or outside after I turned 12 and forced burka on me. Had to take my grandmother beliefs and Islamic uncle lectures about how world and islam is so easy for women but so hard for men, women should be grateful and so many other BS lectures from him while he himself was a pedophile. 

Originally posted by: The_Best

I wasn’t allowed to go to school or outside after I turned 12 and forced burka on me. Had to take my grandmother beliefs and Islamic uncle lectures about how world and islam is so easy for women but so hard for men, women should be grateful and so many other BS lectures from him while he himself was a pedophile. 

I’m sorry that all happened to you

Which area of Pakistan was this ? 

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Originally posted by: Maroonporsche

I’m sorry that all happened to you

Which area of Pakistan was this ? 

Karachi 

Originally posted by: The_Best

Karachi 

Damn. I never been there. Always wanted to visit. Now I have less incentive. Im genuinely sorry for your terrible experience. 

Originally posted by: Newbird

I experience it on daily basis in my house, work place, society everywhere. 

I was asked by the guys and their parents  to not continue my further career in order to get married or pop out babies. This is one of the major reasons for my commitment phobia.Some of the guys rejected me cuz I'm a Doc cuz they think a Doc may be too busy to cook for them and "serve" them.And they don't want me to put a maid or cook. Imagine the levels of mysogyny as if a woman is unpaid cook, maid, washing machine, babies  popping out machine.. everything. 

No amount of qualifications will make you stop from being subjected to mysogyny.. 

I decided to not get into this outdated patriarchial marriage institution for this same reason. 

At the same time I think even males are also victims of their own mysogyny and overall mysogyny in the society like they are expected to meet lot of demands and under lot of pressure to run the whole house  single handedly. But who cares there are "rules" and "roles" are assigned in the society based on the gender! 

For your question How I deal with it?... Only solution for this is to be financially and emotionally independent. I think I achieved both. You should be in a position to move out of these toxic places even if it is your own house! 

I am so sorry this is happening to you. I literally saw a post today with thousands likes by a man telling men to not marry a woman with higher financial and social status than you. Thankfully I am out of the family and can live by my own. But I still have to wear hijab and outerwear or abaya if I am visiting my family and relatives and have to pretend to be muslim and see my sister go through things because of the same misogyny. So these things still affect me and it’s hard for me to ignore it which I know I should ignore but again it’s been hard for me.