Fear of losing parents

My father is in his 60s and my mother in her late 50s, and they are both going through certain health issues.The illnesses themselves are not serious in nature. But the frequency at which they are getting sick is getting higher by the day. Just when my father recovers, something happens to my mother. It's like we cannot all be a healthy, happy family anymore. 

It pains to see them suffer like this. How did they suddenly get so old...  

No matter how great my life is going, I think about my parents' suffering and it immediately makes me sad.

There is a job opportunity I got which requires me to shift to a different city, and I am so confused whether to take it up or not - it's an excellent opportunity and a nobrainer to take it up, but for my parents' condition.

Of course they want me to take it up and chase my dreams. But I get these scary thoughts about losing them. And that's petrifying.

Please give tips to cope with this situation.. I am sure most members in their 20s/30s can empathize with what I am going through.

Don't want to sound insensitive. But is it possible that it is your own anxiety and fear of change looking for reasons to stay? 

 If you feel guilty about moving away, would the job opportunity eventually pay you so you can afford to have them move in with you in your city or perhaps visit regularly for longer durations? You could temporarily relocate and then eventually find a job that lets you move back too.

Dear 

You have to get strong internally so that you can take care of them. Spend as much time as you can with them. We all have this fear, no one can do anything. Best is to keep them happy as much as we can.

Originally posted by: semantic.error

Don't want to sound insensitive. But is it possible that it is your own anxiety and fear of change looking for reasons to stay? 

 If you feel guilty about moving away, would the job opportunity eventually pay you so you can afford to have them move in with you in your city or perhaps visit regularly for longer durations? You could temporarily relocate and then eventually find a job that lets you move back too.

It's possible, but it is really not that at all.. in fact it's a very exciting opportunity and I would be taking it up without blinking an eyelid if I were not in this situation.

Actually it's not even about the job as I can keep doing my current job as I have no complaints with it. It just hurts to see them get weaker by the day the constant fear is due to the possibility of losing them.

People are expecting me to get married and that is the last thing I am worried about right now.

I am just so affected by this situation and I wanted to know how other members cope with something like this..

Choose what your heart wants.

If there is someone who can take care of your parents then please go chase your dreams, and if not then choose what you really want so that you won't regret later. I know it hurts to see them suffer from different health issues but isn't this natural since they're growing old? On the other hand, you will never get another Father or Mother in this lifetime. Bohot complicated situation hai, I don't know what to suggest.

From my experience, I have realized that communication is vital. It helps solve a lot of problems. Talk of them

Sending a lot of prayers and good wishes to you and your parents. Hang in there, everything is going to work out just fine

I spent most of my life living w my parents except a few years. Now we’re all back in the same house. Parents/children/grandchildren. I don’t know if I can imagine being without them. You should do what’s best for you. 

You think this job takes you away and their going to need you ? 

Originally posted by: Lord_Voldemort

It's possible, but it is really not that at all.. in fact it's a very exciting opportunity and I would be taking it up without blinking an eyelid if I were not in this situation.

Actually it's not even about the job as I can keep doing my current job as I have no complaints with it. It just hurts to see them get weaker by the day the constant fear is due to the possibility of losing them.

People are expecting me to get married and that is the last thing I am worried about right now.

I am just so affected by this situation and I wanted to know how other members cope with something like this..

Well whenever I have these fears, I have always found talking to my parents the most helpful. And as my dad always says, they have enjoyed their lives and they continue to enjoy them. There's not much that worrying will do about time and age. And at this point, the best we can do for him is to enjoy our lives to the fullest. And I find that thought comforting. 

This is an eventuality everyone needs to face at some point of time in their lives. Before pandemic, I was staying away from my parents and when they started having health issues, I got 24/7 caretaker for them, just because they refused to come stay with me. 

Since last two years, they are with me, however, insist on going back. We have to be just strong. They'll always be in our hearts even if we lose them, which is unavoidable... I just let them know how grateful I am for having them in my life, at every opportunity... 😆

Originally posted by: Lord_Voldemort

My father is in his 60s and my mother in her late 50s, and they are both going through certain health issues.The illnesses themselves are not serious in nature. But the frequency at which they are getting sick is getting higher by the day. Just when my father recovers, something happens to my mother. It's like we cannot all be a healthy, happy family anymore. 

It pains to see them suffer like this. How did they suddenly get so old...  

No matter how great my life is going, I think about my parents' suffering and it immediately makes me sad.

There is a job opportunity I got which requires me to shift to a different city, and I am so confused whether to take it up or not - it's an excellent opportunity and a nobrainer to take it up, but for my parents' condition.

Of course they want me to take it up and chase my dreams. But I get these scary thoughts about losing them. And that's petrifying.

Please give tips to cope with this situation.. I am sure most members in their 20s/30s can empathize with what I am going through.

I lost my father recently..and nothing can prepare u for this loss even when u know its coming.

I live in a different city and couldn't meet him as often..talking daily is a different thing and living together is different..only solace is that my brother and family were with him throughout his illness..and my parents visited me recently and stayed over for few days.

If moving out isn't really necessary pls stay with them..parents always wish for progress of their child so they would tell u to take up the job. But they would definitely be happiest with u around.