FF : Till forever falls apart (chap. 7 updated on page 4) - Page 2

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BeyondHorizon thumbnail
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Posted: 2 years ago
#11

That was another beautiful update! My heart goes out to Ram and I am glad he has Zoah to care for him. But I hope she is no love interest for him 😆 Nandu seemed to really care for him. So what happened to change that? Also eagerly waiting for Priya's POV.


P. S - Please tag your readers so that they can be notified when you post an update. Also request you to update the title to let readers know there is an update and it will be helpful if you can maintain an index in your first post.

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Posted: 2 years ago
#12

Originally posted by: BeyondHorizon

That was another beautiful update! My heart goes out to Ram and I am glad he has Zoah to care for him. But I hope she is no love interest for him 😆 Nandu seemed to really care for him. So what happened to change that? Also eagerly waiting for Priya's POV.


P. S - Please tag your readers so that they can be notified when you post an update. Also request you to update the title to let readers know there is an update and it will be helpful if you can maintain an index in your first post.


Thank you so much❤️Thank you for not kiling me for creating Zoya😆This story focus a lot about grief, when it omes to Nandini grief changed her and her relationship with Ram. Planning to write Priya's POV soon 😊


P.S - Ofc, thank you for letting me know 😊❤️ I will try to tag you guys when I update the next chapter ;) Also thank you for taking time to read and comment, reading you guys thougts are the best part for me :)

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Posted: 2 years ago
#13

Chapter 3: See you again


Five years and twenty days since she saw him for one last time, and she can vividly remember the anguish, the pain in his eyes as he begged her to tell her truth. Priya will never be able to forget how she twisted the knife in the wound by telling him she cheated on him and that the baby was not his.


Priya wiped the sweat forming on her forehead, Ram’s and Akshay’s face haunting her in nightmares for the sin she has committed. Ram and Akki, the two men who loved her and admired her the most in the world, she has broken both of their hearts and trust. Priya could spend an eternity trying to make it up, but she could never repair what she has broken.


Priya twisted with her wedding ring as she took a pen and wrote down names of the people she had wronged, the names of people who she wishes she gets an opportunity to apologize too.


Mr.Kapoor

Akshay

Pihu

“Mom, someone has come with food and gifts” she heard Pihu say as she ran into the tiny room they shared in the women’s and children’s shelter. Priya quickly hid the note from her daughter and replied “You go first Pihu, I will join in five” she said and saw from the corner of her eyes as Pihu ran to the main area.


Priya stood up from her bed and was about to enter the main area, but she stopped in her tracks as soon as she held a familiar voice.


“There is enough food for everyone, there is also some school supplies and toys, clothes andother supplies my friend here helped me get for you guys. Today would have been my sister’s birthday, she is unfortunately not with us any longer. I hope you all could pray that she is happy in the afterlife”


Priya felt goosebumps in her arms hearing his voice, she dared to look at him sneakily and she felt her throat getting dry. He was wearing jeans and a casual white shirt, looking handsome as always but the circles under his eyes and the lack of warmth in his eyes told another story. She felt sick to her stomach


You did this


Tears started welling in her eyes, as flashes of him smiling at her every morning she woke up next to him came rushing to her.


“Thank you ma’m and sir” the voice of their daughter makes her snap back


“You’re welcome beautiful, and you can call us Ram and Zoah” she heard the girl say who was handling the gifts to the kids


“Well thank you Ram uncle and Zoah aunty, my name is Pihu.” She said putting her hands forward to shake

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


The moment that little girl dressed in a simple blue dress that matched with her eyes put her hand forward to shake, he could not help but smile as he thought about Shivi when she was a little girl. His sister had been such a light, always smiling and bubbly.


A tiny smile appeared on his face


“Nice to meet you Pihu, here is some extra chocolate for making my friend smile. I have known him for almost four years now, and this is the first time I have seen him smile” he heard Zoah say as she shook hands with Pihu.


Ram rolled his eyes at Zoah, before he gently patted her on her shoulder, so she knew it was in lighthearted manner.


“Pihu, you have a very unique and beautiful name” he said getting on his knees, so he was on the same height as Pihu and gently shook her name


“I’m sorry about your sister” Pihu whispered sadly offering him the half of the chocolate Zoah had gifted her for making him smile


Ram took some of the chocolate and fed it to her gently “Thank you Pihu, or should I call you beautiful like Zoah does?” he asked softly


“Maybe find another nickname for me, next time you come with gifts and chocolates” she said raisingher eyebrow


Ram laughed wholeheartedly for the first time after years, he sobered the moment he realized he was laughing at his sister’s birthday.


“She would have wanted you to laugh” he hears Zoya whisper only loud enough for him to hear, his friend probably recognized the guilt he felt after all she understood grief just as much as he did.


“Okey, you got yourself a deal miss Pihu. One thing you should know about me young lady, ist hat I keep my words.” he said before picking his favorite book from his childhood and handled it to her


“Tell me what you think about this next time, and I will get you more books and a box of chocolates”


Pihu nodded smiling before she ran away whispering something about showing her mom the book


“We should ehm start going to the beach before the sunset” Ram said turning his attention to Zoya, who was looking at him puzzled as she was seeing a new side of him for the first time.


“Cat caught your tounge?” he asked her with crossed arms when she did not answer


“Softness is a good look on you Ram Kapoor” she whispered before she grabbed the cars keysfrom him


As they walked outof the shelter, Ram could not help but turn back and look at it again. There was a feeling, a feeling he had not felt in five years. Ram thought about that little girl who had charmed him, he could not help but send a silent prayer to God to watch over her and not to take away her smile and the warmth in her eyes.


“Can’t believe she made me smile, laugh and pray on the same day we met. Pretty special little one”he whispered not having any idea that he just had interacted with his daughter for the first time.


A/N : Sorry for any typos. Hope you all will like the chapter <3

Edited by Overthinking123 - 2 years ago
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Posted: 2 years ago
#14

Beautiful story

Continue soon

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Posted: 2 years ago
#15

Chapter 4: I still say goodnight


Zoah is driving quietly, which he is grateful for because he doesn’t want to entertain a conversation today. He is emotionally and physically exhausted, sometimes he just wants to lay down and never wake up. Ram gulped and traced the tattoo of dove on his wrist to remind him why he must keep pushing forward.


“I dreamt of my dad today” Zoah confessed to him, her eyes on the road


“How do you feel?”he asked softly


“It was a good dream, it felt so real. Like he was there with me. When I woke up, I wanted to go back to sleep again because I wanted to see him again. I tried but I failed, dreamt of some stupid math exam I had many years ago” she whispered in a soft and quiet voice


“I wish I could have met the man who raised you, Zo” he said softly making her give him a smile and he felt relief kick him. Ram had been afraid to say the wrong thing after she had been vulnerable with him, opening up and talking about loss was difficult, he knew that personally.


“I think he would have liked you” she said before throwing a cap and sunglasses to him so he could fool the paparazzi to think he was someone else.


“I’m honored Zo Zo”he said before wearing the cap and sunglasses


“How do I look?” he asked posing for her making the car fill with her laughter


“Better, now that the lines under your eyes are covered” she joked


“You need better material than that, really my insomnia is what you decided to go with. You can do better” he said before letting out a chuckle, his heart feeling lighthearted. He wish he could tuck this moment somewhere safe, because he don’t want something so beautiful to be filled with more tragedy


“It’s nice to see you like this” he heard Zoah say sincerly


“To bad you did not meet me years ago Zoah, you would have loved the old Ram. I feel like I’m a shell of the person I once used to be” he said the mood sobering. The first emotion he feels is guilt for ruining a sweet moment, but then his heart feels lighter to share this with her. He knows Zoah won’t judge; she would try to understand afterall she was his grief buddy.


“You are right I would have loved the old Ram, but this Ram is my friend, and he might get some more bruises and scars. You are not broken Ram, and the old Ram is not the one I’m choosing to spend my Sunday with” Zoah said as she parked the car at the beach. Her words touching his soul, most of the people in his life met him when his personality was like sunshine, but not Zoah she met him at the darkest and saddest time of her life.


“Thank you” he whispered giving her hand a gentle squeeze, smiling at her dove tatoo on her wrist.


“Bruised but not broken” he repeated with her, their eyes locking in a minute


----------------------------------------------------------------------


As Ram watched the sunset that Shivi loved so much on her birthday, all he could sense was her laying in his arms as she was using her last strength to assure him that she loved him.


“Ram, aunty is here” he hears Adi say making him snap out of this thougts filled with guilt and remose. He coughed, before he turned around to see Nandini walk on the beach gracefully in the very last minutes of before the sunset. He can’t help but leave a happy sigh, for the last five years she has not been there celebrating Shivi's birthday telling him it’s too painfull.


“Thank you, mom,”he said softly the moment she stood next to him. Nandini nodded and shakingly grabbed his hand, and he let her borrow his strength.


“Weird Ram, our relationship is tied to much with grief, heartache and regret” she said not looking at him but at the ocean in front of them. Ram had no clue how to respond to her statement, so he stood silently watching the ocean and the birds flying around.


“Ram, Nandini aunty do you want to say something about Shivi on her birthday?” Kunal asked softly


Ram looked at Nandini, allowing her the chance to speak first if she wanted and felt ready too. He saw his mom open her mouth before she closed it, like no words would come out. He nodded to his friend to give her a minute, and whispered “ You don’t have to mom, if you are not ready”


Nandini grabbed his hand and closed her eyes as she pictured all of her kids running in the garden after Virendra


“I have not loved a lot of people in my life, Virendra was the one who taught me what love was. When Virendra died, the best parts of me died. I have spent longer time without him,than I have him with him. I just never thought I must live longer than my children. Shivinia was like a little child, she had us wrapped around her little finger.” Nandini spoke with her face full of tears, her mascara was running but everyone kept quiet, giving her space to share her thoughts without any judgement.


“I find solace in knowing that she is with her dad now, she is safe with him. I just wish her death had not been like that, so cruel.” Nandini continues, opening her eyes and being genuinely vulnerable for the first time after her husband’s funeral.


She cups Ram 's face with a love he has not felt from her since his father passed away, he leans closer to her palm as he receives the motherly affection from her after years.


“I’m glad that her last breath was taken in your arms, at least I know she was with someone who loved her as much I did. Thank you for holding her close to your heart one last time, munchkin” she whispers only loud enough for him to hear, Ram can't put it in words how much he missed her calling him that silly nickname.

Ram nodded and kissed her forehead, before she could get the chance to put her walls in front of him and shutt off her motherly affection for him. Ram smiles sadly when he watch her close her eyes, then reopening her eyes and wearing her poker face that she had mastered by the years. Nandini had never been cruel to him but different to him after his father’s funeral, he could not find the strenght to blame her. Grief was a strange thing, and it could bring out the person you hate the most out of you.


“Ram, you should say something too” Adi said making him move away from Nandini, he walked towards the ocean and looked up at the sky as he saw birds flying. He looked at the beautiful sunset, he imagined his sister running after their dad in the heaven.


“A part of me died with you Shivi, whatever remains is going to try to live for you. To honor you, to remember you the way you deserve to be remembered. You were a light in my life Shivi, my dance partner. My child. I’m going to try everyday to remain the man you loved, for you Shivi. That’s my last gift to you. Happy birthday Shivi bacha”


He feels a cold breeze, he likes to believe that it was Shivi hugging him and telling him she loved him back. Ram smiles teary eyed looking at the white bird flying above the sky.


A/N : Sorry for any typos, constructive criticism is more than welcome :) This chapter means personally a lot to me, and I hope you guys will like it :)

Edited by Overthinking123 - 2 years ago
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Posted: 2 years ago
#16

Chapter 5: Consequences


Priya watched as Pihu read the books Ram had given her, not having any idea that she had received the first gift from her father. Priya took a deep breath, as the familiar uneasy feeling in her stomach returned.


Pihu looked up from the children’s book and smiled as she saw her mom, she gestured her to come sit next to her. Priya walked towards her and sat next to her on the bed they shared, the other ladies and children were fast asleep.


“Pihu, we should get some sleep. I think this is your fifth time reading this same book” she said tucking her hair gently behind her ear. Pihu smiled sheepishly and whispered “It’s so witty and clever, mom. Mr.Kapoor has a good taste in books. Do you think he will come back soon with more books and food? Neha was saying she can’t remember a happier day here before today. Youknow for someone rich, the fact that he came and handled out the gifts by himself instead of sending someone else that was nice” Pihu said, who usually was not very impressed with rich people and she always imagined them to be rude.


Priya watched her daughter speak so excitedly, and she feel her guilt crashing down. She can’t help but imagine Ram and Pihu chasing each other, Ram reading her goodnight stories and teaching her to dance like he once taught Shivi.


“Mom, why are you crying? Is your stomach hurting again?” Pihu asked concerned cupping her cheek


“Should I wake up Neha’s mom?” her daughter continued asking


“I’m okey sweetie. Pihu, you have never asked about your dad” she said looking at her daughter


“Neha, says that people who lives here has lost their fathers,been abandoned by them or is better off without them. So, I never asked you mom. I hate seeing you cry” Pihu replied in a low tone, not sharing with her mom that a part of her was afraid to know. She likes to believe her father was witty, charming and kind. Pihu always feared that the truth would be that herfather was nothing like she imagined him to be.


“Pihu, your father he is the best person I knew. He is loving, kind, patient, childlike and his jokes were terrible but always made mel augh. He loves his friends like his own family, and he loves food and dancingin the rain. He would have loved you Pihu, you would have had him wrapped around your little finger” Priya said softly, her voice full of love and longing


“What happened to dad?” she asked


Priya opened her mouth but then shut it, she closed her eyes. The truth was to complicated and difficult to tell her five-year-old daughter.


“I hurt your dad badly, after he lost someone, he really loved. We then went our separate ways; he doesn’t know about you Pihu.If he had, he would have been a part of our life", Priya said attempting to assure her daughter.


Pihu looked at her mom, trying to understand her mother’s words. Pihu was going to ask more questions about her dad, about why her mom can’t find him and tell him about her now. But the sadness in her mom’s eyes makes her stop.


“Goodnight mom” she says simply turning to the right side, imagining what it would be like to sleep in the middle of a bed next to both of her parents.


Priya is about to close the light, her heart feeling a little bit lighter, but her daughter’s voice stops her.


“Mom, can you keep the bed light on” Pihu requests, not telling her mom that in the book Mr. Kapoor gifted her the main character did the same so his father could find him again after they had been separated.


Priya kept the bed light on, wishing she could create a time machine and go back and change her decisions. The guilt of knowing she robbed her daughter from experiencing a father’s love, just like she had longed for most of her life. That she robbed Ram from experiencing the joy of parenthood, to raise his daughter and be there for her first milestones. Priya wipes away her tear and hugs her daughter closer to her chest, praying for a miracle.


Ram stood in front of the window as he watched people travelling in the rain, seeing the frustration on their face as their clothes and shoes got wet and full of dirt. He sees a little girl with two braids holding the hands of her parents, laughing as she makes a watersplash. Ram feels his heart ache with longing, and then the realization hits him that Shivi never will get the joy experiencing being a mom. Ram feels himself get teary eyed;he shakes his head. Ram counts to ten,to calm himself. He can’t be full of rage, anger and sadness for the meeting.


Ram hears a knock on the door, he walks away from the window and sits down on his chair. He looks at the picture of his father, then the picture of him and his sister smiling after her first dance recital.


“If someone can’t honor the two of you, can easily forget the pain and loss our family went through they don’t deserve my love or friendship” he whispered and took a sip of glass water with his medicine.


Ram confidently called out “Come in” and he see Vikrant walk into the door. Ram gestures him to sit on the chair in front of him. Vikrant smiles and takes a seat, Ram silently prays he is right about Vikrant.


“Vikrant, is their something you would like to tell me?” he asked his voice calm and steady


“No, Ram. Is everything okey?” Vikrant replied with a question of his own


Ram handled him an envelope as he said “Shubham gave me this last night. But I wanted to hear from you, give you a chance to speak your truth” he said as Vikrant opened the envelope and pictures of him, and Sara fell. Vikrant gasped and looked at Ram with brown big guilty eyes.


“So, what do you have to say for yourself Vikrant?” he asked carefully reading the guilty expression


Vikrant had known Ram for longer than a decade, and there was few time he had seen this extent of fury in his eyes. Vikrant gulped, but this was the first time since they had meet that his anger was towards him.


“I did not plan to fall for her, Ram. I need you to believe me when I say that. It just happened. I tried to stay away from her,but damn it Ram my heart would not listen.” He said while running his shaking hands through his hair


“Why did you not tell me, instead of having a secret relationship behind my back. How could you walk everyday in my office,working along side me everyday, Heck how many times have you been in Kapoor mansion,having dinner in our home after you have been with Sara. Sara who hid my father’s murderer, who denied my father justice. The same Sara I called a sister, the one I gave so much love and respect too. I gave you the same respect and love too, called you and threated you like a brother. I defended you when that investigator questioned your integrity and loyalty. Tell me how did you dare too look in to my eyes every single day, how dare you to be sitting in my office and work for Kapoor Industries?”he asked getting up from his chair walking towards Vikrant, his eyes full of anger and hatred


Vikrant gulped; he had no answer to give to Ram. He looked down, not being able to look him in the eyes. “I’m sorry Ram” he said


“I’m sorry too Vikrant” he said giving him a check, handling his former friend his last paycheck.


“From tomorrow you will not be working for Kapoor Industries. I’m aware your parents depend on your income, so for everyone else it would be a mutual decision to part ways. If I fire you, that will make difficultfor you to find you a new job. Obviously, we are no longer friends, if the other choose to stay your friend that’s their choice not mine to make. Before you leave, it’s Mr.Kapoor for you from now on”.

Vikrant looked at him shocked, not believing his friendship with Ram had ended. Vikrant gave him his check back; he was not worthy off it.

“Do you think you will ever be able to forgive me, do you think there ever be a time when you don’t look at me with hatred?” he asked


“I could have perhaps forgiven you for falling for her,but to have a secret relationship and lying to me ever since. No, I don’t think I can forgive that, Vikrant” Ran replied before watching from the corner of his eyes as Vikrant walked out off his cabin, and out of his life.


Ram closed his eyes the moment he heard the door shut; tears fell from his eyes. How much more pain and betrayal did he have to face before he found some sort of normalcy and peace.


“I told Shubham he was wrong about you Vikrant, that the picture must be false or there was some explanation. But you proved himr ight, and me wrong.” Ram whispered as he wiped his tears away before he deleted Vikrant’s number from his phone, he wished he could erase the memories as quickly as he erased his number.


Ram quickly went back to work; each time he felt his focus shift to Vikrant’s betrayal he would trace the dove tattoo on his wrist and would mutter “Bruised but not broken” as a mantra to keep going. He owed it to his father and babysister, to keep honoring them until his last breath.

BeyondHorizon thumbnail
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Posted: 2 years ago
#17

I didn't realise I missed chap 4. Please do tag me next time 😊 Your story is really interesting and I like the way Ram is dealing with the situation and also how Nandini isn't as vilified as she is in the show. Her pain for having lost her daughter is real. Its sad that Ram kicked Vikrant out of his life but given the scenario and how much he hates Soods this would have felt natural but in the show they turned it into comedy circus. I wonder if Ram knows Priya was pregnant when he left her like in the show. Also liking the new characters you introduced - be it Zoah or Neha. I hope Zoah is just a friend and not a love interest. Please continue and do not forget to tag me 😊

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Posted: 2 years ago
#18

Originally posted by: BeyondHorizon

I didn't realise I missed chap 4. Please do tag me next time 😊 Your story is really interesting and I like the way Ram is dealing with the situation and also how Nandini isn't as vilified as she is in the show. Her pain for having lost her daughter is real. Its sad that Ram kicked Vikrant out of his life but given the scenario and how much he hates Soods this would have felt natural but in the show they turned it into comedy circus. I wonder if Ram knows Priya was pregnant when he left her like in the show. Also liking the new characters you introduced - be it Zoah or Neha. I hope Zoah is just a friend and not a love interest. Please continue and do not forget to tag me 😊


Thank you for reading and taking time to comment❤️I will for sure tag you next time, I don't use IF so much so still learning and figuring how tings works here hehe. Wanted to give Nandini a redemption ark, some backstory and I try not to villifi character. In my stories they are rather flawed character who has to learn, grow and apologize. Yes, her pain for losing her daughter is real. If you think about it, she had to live a longer life without her husband than she had with him, and then she lost her daughter too in such a young age. No parent want to outlive their kids, her daughter was murdered.


Yes, Ram kicked Vikrant out of his life due to he could not trust him no longer. Like he said, he could have forgiven him for falling in love with a Sood, it's the lies and going behind his back that is unforgivable. This chapter was about consequences of your choices, and Vikrant had to lose his friendship with Ram due to his choices. I have no comments about how the show handled this, because they turn every relationship and issue into a circus. Sigh!

Priya went to jail, lied about Shivi's death and the father of her child j and left Ram,just like in the show. The story is my imagination of how I would have handled the leap + backstory to how Nandini was before Virendra's death. What happenend pre leap in the show is very much true for this story. I'm glad you are liking Zoah and Neha, they are fun characters to write and develope. Okey sorry for the longest reply🤪 Again thank you for reading and taking time to comment, it makes my day❤️🤗

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Posted: 2 years ago
#19

Chapter 6: Vulnerable


AN : I know this chapter might be a little borring for some of you, but I found it important for the progress of the characters. This story focus heavily on grief, healing and growth for different characters. As the story continues, it will be more of Pihu and Ram boding, and the three of them figuring out their family dynamics. Anyways, happy reading :)

------------------------------



Priya left Pihu in Sheenaz ‘s care in the shelter, as she went to look for a teaching job. Sheenaz’s daughter Neha was close to Pihu and even Priya had found a friend in Sheenaz. The two of them had bonded over being single mothers, but unlike Sheenaz who had lost her husband to a robbery in the mall when some robbers had shoot Sheenaz husband who worked as the mall guard. Priya had told Ram that it was not his child she was pregnant with, and that she wanted a divorce because her love was Krish. It had been an inhumane and cruel thing to say, to use his fears, insecurity and trauma against him hours after he found that his father was murdered by her family and his sister had died outside her house caused by yet another family member of hers.


Priya had caused damage to him that will affect him for the rest of his life, Priya did not murder Shivi or Virendra, but she is still guilty at least when it comes to Shivi, her blood is on her hands as well.


Priya twisted with her wedding rings, a glimmer of hope that it would comfort her like Ram once used to by his kindness and warmth.


“Priya, you asked for divorce which was granted and still you keep your wedding ring. Why?” she remembers Sheenaz asking her once


“The ring symbolizes everything I threw away by choosing my family over him.” Priya had answered her friend.


Priya stood outside the school building and hoped this could be a fresh start that she and Pihu desperately needed, and they could get out of the shelter and get their own house.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Ram looked at the painting of the mountains hanging on the red walls, the last five years Ram has gotten used to the red walls and the countless nature paintings hanging on his therapist’s office. The terrible coffee that Doctor Rhea offers him every time, which he for some reason keep saying yes to on the other side is something he is not used to. The coffee is quite bitter, but he swallows it like he does the bitter and cruel reality that is his life.


“Ram, Shavian’s birthday was a week ago. How did it go?” Doctor Rhea asked him


Ram grabbed the grey pillow on the couch and placed it in his arms, in front of his chest as he thought about his sister’s birthday.


“Her birthday is always difficult, but my friends and Zoah was there. It was nice knowing I had not to go through it alone, that I could lean on her. You know, what doc? I know I’m safe with her.” He said his eyes softening, his voice gentle and barely audible for someone to hear as if it was just a secret for his ears to hear. Rhea saw him ran his hand through his hair, giving her a soft laugh before he continued with what he was saying.


“After getting books, food and toys Zoah and I went to a children and women’s shelter that Zoah ‘s father opened. The joy on the kid’s face was beautiful to see, there was this girl her name is Pihu. She was adorable,and she had this beautiful blue eye and the most adorable smile ever. Zoah has turned her biggest fan because Pihu made me laugh and smile for the first time.“Ram said with a small smile on his face which Doctor Rhea took to notice. Rhea scribbled something in her notes, as Ram continued speaking and sharing the conversation Ram had in the car with Zoah.


“Mom showed up on the beach, I’m so proud of her. I think we both got to honor Shivi and share the pain of losing her. I’m jus tglad she decided not to be alone on such a day, and that she allowed me to comfort her. Not that my comfort can ever bring Shivi back” he whispered as he traced his tattoo on his wrist.


“Vikrant’s betrayal, how are you dealing with that?” Doctor Rhea asked as she saw Ram continue trace his tattoo, a habit he had when talking about difficult things. Ram’s eyes turned darker; she could see him clench his jaw at the mention of Vikrant. The warmth in his eyes earlier as hehad talked about Pihu, Zoah and Nandini was gone. Doctor Rhea felt cold chills as she stared back at him.


Ram closed his eyes and took deep breathes as he muttered “Bruised but not broken” as a mantra. He could hear Doctor Rhea writing in her notes, and something about the sound of her writing grounded him. Ram opened his eyes slowly, looking at the red walls to remind him he was in a safe space.


“He is not working with me anymore, and I cut my ties with him. I don’t feel safe with him, because there is no place in my life for people,I don’t trust me and who can go on with lying to me. Obviously, it’s not easy because he was a brother to me, I loved him. It’s not like you switch a button and all the love is gone, but with time I will move on. But it was importantfor me to tell him I can’t have in my life, I had to set a boundary like you have taught me” Ram said softly and the doctor continued writing. The therapy session continued, Doctor Rhea still wanted him to work on his sleep schedule, two hours of sleep was not enough.


Ram got up from his chair and said, “So what task are you giving me this time?” he asked as at the end of every session doctor Rhea would give him a task, like one time he had to practice on his breathing techniques and once he had to write down boundaries.


“Ram, in every therapy session that we have had since your first grief counseling four years ago there has been not one session together where you have not mentioned Zoah. Yes, it is true that you have mentioned a lo tof your friends, your mother and brother, the loss of your parents and sister, your ex-wife and her family but in every session, there is a lot of mention of Zoah in my notes.”


“What are you trying to imply doc?” he asked with a raised eyebrow, and he crossed his arms in front of his heart.


Doctor Rhea smiled as she saw him struggle not to trace the tattoo on his wrist that was a matching tatoo he took with Zoah after their last grief conseling group session. Doctor Rhea remembers how Ram had told her they both had decided to take a tattoo of the white dove because that was Shivi’s favourite bird and under the bird was a saying Zoah’s father used to say “Bruised, but not broken”. According to Ram, the tattoo symbolized the person the two of them had lost and the reason Zoah and Ram had met each other.


“I’m not trying to imply anything Ram. I do however want you to write down what she means to you” she said softly as she saw a flicker of different emotions in Ram’s face. Ram gave her a nod; he grabbed the notebook she gave to him and walked out of his therapist's office.


Doctor Rhea had given Ram the most difficult task, how does he find words to describe what Zoah has done for him and what she means to him. There is no words to explain that he believes in Zoah like he believes that he will see Shivi again.


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


With the help of Shubham both manage to put Nandini back to sleep, both brothers were exhausted and just nodded their head in acknowledge before they turned to leave the opposite side.


“Ram bhai” he hears Shubham call out and he turns around seeing his little brother look at him with guilty and sorrowful eyes. Ram wants to comfort him, but he is not sure if he has right too anymore. He wonders if Shubham blames him for Shivi dying and the state their mother was in.


“I miss here everyday” his brother confessed after a minute of silence; he saw his brother look at his hands as if he was not sure if he was allowed to tell him that.


“I miss her too” he admitted, his heart longed to embrace his brother and cry in his shoulder


Shubham took a step forward and a small spark of hopein his heart grew, before he saw Shubham took two steps backwards.


“I remember when dad died, mom went to depressive state and she for a month did not leave her room. You took care of us that month bhai” Shubham whispered


“Then why do you hate me, Shubham, we were not always like this” he said remembering how Shubham and he would play videogames before his dad passed away


“I did not lose only my father that night, I lost my brother too Ram bhai. You started acting like my dad, not like my brother. Itwas like you were trying to take his place” Shubham confessed


Ram looked at him confused before saying “I was just trying to….”


“To keep dad’s promise, I know.” Shubham finished his sentence and both brothers looked at each other, not sure how they move forward after a rare moment of vulnerability and confusing confessions


“I will try not to act like your father” Ram said after a while before he nervously put a hand on his brother’s shoulder, and he just hoped his brother would not move backwards because he was holding on to his family as if his life depended on it.


“I will try to be a better brother, Shivi and dad would have liked that.” Shubham said offering him a small smile and then his brother hugged him. The hug was a little awkward, but it was the most genuine hug his brother had given him after his dad’s death, so Ram would cherish their hug for the rest of his life.


“This time you don’t have to take care of mom alone like you did when she was in depressive state for a month, this time we will do this together bhai. Promise me, you will not try to shelter me from the reality.”Shubham said as they moved away from the embrace.


Ram felt his heart sore of pride, knowing his dad would be proud of Shubham if he had been there.


“Together, we will take care of mom” Ram said softly before saying goodnight to his little brother and walked to his room. After five years for the first time Ram slept without any nightmares.

A/N : Sorry for any typos! Let me know what you think :)

Edited by Overthinking123 - 2 years ago
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Posted: 2 years ago
#20

The character arc for Shubhu is really nice here. And his resentment towards Ram was relatable. I am assuming you haven’t taken the show’s route. So I wonder what made Priya lie about Pihu’s paternity and where is Krish? Is he still in touch with Priya? Also loved how u have written the therapy session. Ram’s emotions were expressed beautifully there. I donno y but I am wary of Zoah. I hope Ram isn’t in love with her

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