Originally posted by: umawanderer
Oh!! Such a wonderful topic.... I was taking a long break from forums.. because ITV disappointed me again (Nothing new.... It happens all the time... I get hooked.. get hurt... cold turkey..and repeat the cycle again)..
This topic brought me back from my long hibernation.
Everyone have already pointed out almost all the areas.. But I am here to stand up for the common man..Those people who obviously never get any recognition but are still part of all the ITV marriages..
Sure, They are taken for granted, sure they are treated as invisible heck sometimes even non-existent, but that doesn't mean they have no feelings.. that they have no rights.. And I am here to talk about them.. because they are as much important as the Dulha-Dulhan.
1. The 'Maggie guests':
The Maggie guests are vital for all the ITV marriages. They are guests who appear only during the important events. We will never know who they are.. and mostly we don't even need to know. Are they relatives? distant relatives? ancestors? friends? enemies? terrorists? neighbors? villagers? politicians? Street vendors? gate crashers? Who knows? All we know is that they are there to stand coordinately around the mandap and silently stare at the mandap. They will be the most polite guests who won't even talk to each other or react to any single thing happening in the mandap(except in case of any disaster.. they are the first to escape... No Maggie causalities so far). They also fulfill their duties such as eating the invisible food provided by the invisible caterers. And the most amazing part of these guest are that the disappear in an instant. there are no lingerers. There will be no guest who would stay in the house asking for an extra bedsheet or a mosquito repellent. because all the guests vanish in an instant.
2. The invisible caterers:
Now, any one attending an Indian wedding knows that the food is the integral part of the wedding. But ITV Caterers have much more on their plate. They are not there to cook and serve food. They are there to cook invisible food in an invisible cooking area. Then the invisible food have to be served in invisible cutlery to Maggie guest (and not any real family member) and that too in an invisible dining area. And In case of natural disasters (especially fire) the cooking area becomes visible but the staff invisible. And after all this we will never know if the caterers received their cheque or not because the 'shadi' was a forced or accidental.
3. The 'Shararat' decorators:
The ITV wedding decorators are super human beings. Let's not pretend that everyone didn't know that already.. okay? They don't just decorate a mansion.. they decorate the mansion multiple times a week with different colors and themes. These people have to decorate the mansion multiple times not just for wedding but for any random puja or party.
But the most important of their super power is they Vanish all the decorations by the snap of their fingers.
They clean all the mandap, flowers decorations etc.. by the next morning especially before the 'Baahu' does the 'Aarti'
4.The depressed band-baja- wallahs:
Most, if not all, ITV Baraats should have these. The depressed looking band which disappears the moment Dulha steps into the house. Did they receive money for their lackluster performance? will they ever know that the 'Dulha' they accompanied could not get married to the right 'Dulhan' or maybe did not even marry.
Why are they so depressed? Did they not receive payment for the previous ITV marriage they attended?
5.The ever optimistic Photographer:
Yes, He is there... You would never see him but he is there. We know he is there because there will always be a framed wedding photo to be broken for any future 'Apshagun'. A wedding album for everyone to skim through the pages during future 'sad' times. A couple photo for the future 'Vamp' to burn and have a huge evil monologue planning to destroy the couples happiness. Now that we have established he is there, Let's appreciate what he does. No matter what the situation is, Bride/groom swapping, Forced marriage, accidental marriage he have to capture the perfect 'Kodak' moments.
He have to take photos like these:😒😭
And convert them into these:🥳
A huge round of applause. This man deserves the respect for the hard work he puts into this. And Again.. we are never sure that HE gets paid or not.
6. The 'Come-at-me-with-all-you got' Panditji:
No one ever mentioned it. But ITV weddings are not mere 'Shadis', they are 5 seasons of 'Khatron ke Khiladi' jammed into one hour. Bride/groom swapping and forced/accidental marriages seems like preliminary rounds compared to the rest of the possibilities. There could be
Anything is possible in the Mystical land of ITV. It all depends on the VFX budget the show got and the amount of Vamps and Villains.
And the Panditji is in the center of all these making two people, (who may/may not even like each other) tie the knot. Forget paycheck, this guy should insist on Life insurance.
These are the people who make the ITV wedding the spectacle that it is... These are the people who withstand all the non-sense that is thrown at them and continue contributing to the ridiculousness known as ITV Shadi. They may not be acknowledged, they maybe forgotten in the next scene, They maybe replaced in between any cuts.. because they are invisible to the audience.. But it is also true that without them we may never enjoy the month-long weddings of ITV.
And lets hope all these people are getting full payment in advance.
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