Elder son leaving for college - Page 3

As far as I know....Madhuri had an arranged marriage....it was not like they were both in love so much that one of them had to leave their career to be together.....Mads said in one interview that Dr Nene had NO IDEA about her star status back home....so he wasn't star struck either....Madhuri could have married ANYONE in India....I am sure there was no dearth of good eligible men for her.....but she CHOSE to marry and she CHOSE that life....If Dr Nene had no idea about who she was ...she was just another nice girl for him...I am sure had he known that he will have to give up his country , his career and go live in India...he would have refused to marry her.....I am sure just like for Madhuri there must have been a line of good girls for him in USA too...a good looking American doctor...oh yes.....so this is my reason for calling her selfish....she went into this out of her own sweet will...she didn't sacrifice anything...probably she was too tired of BW...I don't blame her.....but Dr Nene didn't go into this marriage thinking that after 10 years he would have to relocate to India and make vlogs...trust me...he doesn't look like that....but anyways...I think he is a very nice man who respected the wishes of his wife....that makes him very nice and Mads is still selfish..

Going to college and he doesn't have the idea that he needs to clean up.... I feel so sorry for the boy....

You'd be surprised at how many "raja betas" arrive at college privileged and clueless. 

Part of the reason desi FOBs get a bad rap is the sheer amount of boys who show up here to college with no clue how to cook, do laundry, or do simple things that are essential to existence. 

Dunno if I'd call that selfish. Marriage is a partnership. They can decide where they want to live and even change their minds. If she decides she wants to return to work, and he agrees to accompany her, how would it make her selfish? 

People change their minds. Nothing wrong with that. Maybe she thought she could give up acting and be happily married but missed her job. I have colleagues who left working wanting to spend more time with kids and family but rejoined the workforce because they missed it. They work even though they don't financially need to. As one colleague put it - she liked having an identity other than "mommy."

I believe one of the reasons Madhuri liked Dr. Nene is because he didn't know who she was. I think she's mentioned it several times. When you're a celebrity, it's hard to know if someone likes you for your qualities or because they're star-struck. And even if he was clueless about who she was I am sure he wasn't that clueless when they married. I am sure he asked all the several standard questions of arranged marriages - what is your education level? what did you study? what did you do for a living? 

Getting married was a choice they BOTH made. Out of all the prospects they both had they picked each other. Either one could have rejected the other. It's hard to see a mutual choice as selfishness. 

And I am sure he had a choice in moving as well. I don't think she drugged, bound, and gagged him to take him anywhere. He could have refused as well. And he was always an adult who could choose to go back at any time as well. Maybe he had other expectations of marriage - but ultimately he also chose this outcome. 

Not all marriages go as expected. For most people, post-married life is always different from what they envisioned. Life is unpredictable. People get fired or laid off. People go back to school and switch careers. 

It just seems unfair to me. If a woman is nice and respects the wishes of her husband she's just doing her duty and no one questions the motives of the man - but if a man does that for his wife, his wife is being selfish. 

I have a hard time believing dr didn’t know who madhuri was. He may not be a fan of hers or watch her movies but do not tell me he don’t know who she is just because he lives in the US. He is Indian just lives abroad and was born abroad but still Indian origin I think. 

I believe it easily. Most ABCDs I met wouldn't know who she is. They'd have to watch Hindi movies to know her, and a lot of them don't. 

It would be like talking about Angelina Jolie with some older folks in my family. I'm sure Americans would be puzzled that anyone in the world doesn't know her. 😆 But yeah, lots of people have no clue who Jolie is.

I think they moved to India because something was wrong with Nene's career or maybe he was burned out and didn't want to work anymore. Nothing other than that explains why he doesn't do anything in India. He could have even worked for free and helped poor people if he didn't need the money. It's hard to understand why someone who's put so much time into their education just suddenly gives up. 

My guess is they moved to India so Madhuri could work and Nene could quit. He seems perfectly happy making youtube videos and cooking for his kids and relaxing. I don't think Madhuri dragged him to India against his wishes. Their kids are returning to the US for college and they are citizens so they could get jobs there and live there forever if they want. I doubt it though. The BW bug is too hard to resist. They will come back and try to make a career in BW.

 I get what you mean. I know such people exist, I've met some.  I've also met an equal number of boys who don't  act like that even if they were used to having females  to wait on them.  Desi males being entitled and not knowing how to fix a meal for themselves is one thing but it's  not as if  all of them leave their plates there for a bird to clean up the leftovers when they're not in their sheltered  homes anymore .  What they talk about in the video sounds like an exaggeration. Secondly their sons were raised in the States , not in some patriarchal household in India so I find it hard to believe he's that clueless.  They act like they had no say in any of this until now.  Its odd that a doctor of all things would record something like this and upload it online .  It almost looks like satire 😆.