One Shot : C h a o s U n l i m i t e d
Character Sketch
The three musketeers aka Special Agents Karan Shergill, Faizuddin Siddiqui and Sanjana Dubey.
Our beloved ACP duo, Sameer "Damn it!" Rathore and Arjun "Samjhe ya samjhau" Rawte.
From Good Omens :
Aziraphale, an angel - ethereal being (originally a guardian of the gates of Eden) and "deep down just enough of a b*stard worth knowing".
Crowley, a demon who did not so much fall from Heaven as Saunter Vaguely Downwards and "at heart a little bit of good person".
From Doctor Who :
The Tenth Doctor possesses an outgoing, lively and genial demeanour that hid his underlying guilt, but it was still present and would appear if the Doctor was overwhelmed.
Original Characters from my FF Reshimbandh :
Neha Rawte - The youngest child of Rawte family, is a deadly combination of all the family, Secret Agent affiliated with INTERPOL, currently working with ETF and a drama queen with suicidal tendencies.
Vikram Saigal - A psychiatrist and Secret Agent affiliated with INTERPOL, a trusted friend of Neha.
Randheer Batra -an Indian Air Force pilot, Param's bestie, Neha's old acquaintance.
Ronnie - The bartender, Neha's schoolmate.
~*~
A sequel to Drunken Diaries where Aziraphale, Crowley and The Tenth Doctor met Neha and Vikram in the bar "THE PERFECT MATCH" and had a lot of fun, Neha burnt Vikram's jacket, Neha convinces them that she is a God(ess) and Arjun doesn't believe that she met an angel, a demon and a time-lord.
~*~
꧁•⊹↻ հ ą օ ʂ ٭ Ա ղ Ӏ ì ʍ ì է ҽ ժ ⊹•꧂
At an exquisite bar named THE PERFECT MATCH, Crowley, as usual, had tempted Aziraphale for a drink. After a tiring day, Neha and Vikram dropped by the same bar for a few drinks. Shortly after that a guy in a blue suit with a brown trench-coat comes in- the Tenth Doctor.
Neha jumped on the table-top and announced, “Drinks on me!”
Some stranger from the crowd asked, “Why so happy girl?”
Neha took a shot of tequila, “My mom's gonna announce my engagement to a man I'd never marry! Woohoo!”
Vikram looks around at their confused faces, “Nevermind” and pulls Neha back on the floor.
~
Karan and Faizi had just entered the bar.
"Faizi!" Karan called Faizi, who was gaping at some woman, "Faizuddin Siddiqui! Kahan kho gaye?"
Faizi jumped out of his dreamland, "Arre yaar, wo dekh na... Kitni sundar hai."
"Uska boyfriend sath hi hai "
"Kismat hi kharab hai " Faizi shook his head
"Inn ameerzado se dur hi raho, chalo, kya pila rahe ho aaj?" Karan patted his back.
"Whiskey?"
"Okay."
"Sanju kahan reh gayi?"
"Aa rahi hai "
~
"Hey! AZ! Cro! Nice to meet you again!" Neha squealed in excitement seeing Aziraphale and Crowley. The four settled on a table for drinks when. The Tenth Doctor walked in.
"The Doctor is here too!" Vikram chimed.
"I wish my brother was here, I'd show him I wasn't lying."
"Who cares what anyone thinks?" Crowley sipped his drink. "Tell me how have you two been? God-woman, how's everything?"
"I wish I could say awesome as always but it's hellish, to be honest."
"Seems like we have a lot to catch up on." The Doctor pulled another chair and settled.
"I'm so glad we met again! Last time was fun." Vikram shared happily.
"That was one wild night." Aziraphale said.
"Did you guys plan this or just a coincidence?" Neha eyed them suspiciously.
"Call it whatever you want." The Doctor said.
~
Sanjana took a seat at Karan and Faizi's table, "Kya pi rahe ho aaj sirji?"
"Whiskey."
"Mere liye bhi ek." She ordered.
"Kya hua Sanju, sab thik?" Faizi asked.
"Sawal hi galat puchhyo hai sirji. Hamari jindagi mei kattai kabhi kuch thik na hovega. Bapu ka phone tha, Kundanji ye Kundanji wo... Pareshan ho gaye hum."
"Sanju," Karan smiled at her, "Mujhe pura bharosa hai, tere liye kuch bhi mushkil nahi hai. Tu kar legi."
"Aur nahi to kya, hamari ammi kehti hai, aurat ke hunar aur kabiliyat aadmiyon se kahi jyada hoti hai. Wo har mushkil ko asaan kar sakti hai."
"Baat to je bilkul sahi kahi sirji."
~
"You guys carry on, I'll quickly meet my old friend and be back." Neha walked to the bartender, "Hey Homo! I mean Homie, ah..Ronnie! How's you?"
Ronnie chuckled at her usual greeting, "Sup drama queen? I'm good! What are you going to drink tonight?"
"Get me some Absinthe."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah."
"You announced a while back, drinks on you, are you really going to pay for everyone?"
"Yes."
"That's gonna be expensive."
"Who cares? I just wanna piss off mom, she said I was a disappointment, just proving her right. Also can I request songs?"
"Yup." Ronnie prepared her drink and asked the DJ to play her request - songs by Queen.
"Yaassss Queen!" Crowley swooned at the music.
"You got some new tattoos bro?" Neha gulped her drink and asked for another one.
"Dear me! Slow down woman!" Ronnie took off his shirt and put it on the side, showing off his new tattoos while he made her another drink.
"Sexy! How's your husband?" Neha sipped another drink slowly.
"Fabulous. When are you coming home? We shifted to the new place."
"Next week? I'll try."
"Cool. Just a heads up, a guy on your six is checking you out. And another one on your nine." Ronnie added more ice to her drink.
"Creepy checking out or normal?"
"Is there a difference?"
"Maybe. I shouldn't have worn this dress."
"It's not about your dress! It never is." Ronnie booped her nose, "Someone special is coming to meet you."
"Who?" She asked uninterestedly.
She felt someone cover her eyes and whisper, "Hello!" She took his hands off her and turned, "My goodness! Squadron Leader Randheer Batra! When did you come?"
"Just now! How are you?"
"Awesome as always! And you?"
"Handsome as always!" Randheer chuckled.
"Smooth mofo! Your jacket is very sexy, gimme!"
"Why?"
"I can pull it off better than you." She winked.
He gave her his jacket. "Tum batao, tumhara kaisa chal raha hai? NGOs, job?"
"Going good. I kinda wanna quit my job and focus on my NGO work but I also don't wanna quit my job. You get me?"
"Tough choice. But hey, you've always done what you felt was right, and I know your heart is always in the right place, don't worry, you'll figure it out."
"Thank you! I'm glad I got pals like y'all. Seriously what would I do without you."
"Guess we'll never figure out." Ronnie joined.
"True that!" She smiled and looked around, "Where's Vik?"
"Who?" Randheer asked.
"My beard that my mom's planning to make my neck's noose!" She saw him chatting with the trio - Aziraphale, Crowley and the Doctor.
"What?" Randheer looked on clueless.
"LMAO, nothing. Let's go dance."
They both went on the dance floor and danced for a while.
~
Neha silently sneaked out to the bar counter, “I’mma go home. Check?” As the person calculated her bill, she tried to locate her purse. “F*ck me!” She called up her brother, “Bhaiya, it’s an emergency, could you please come to THE PERFECT MATCH bar?” and hung up before he could say anything.
Karan was coming towards the counter and bumped into a drunk woman. She apologized immediately.
“Sorry, didn’t see you-” Neha stopped speaking at stared at him, blinked her eyes, “Bhaiya? Can you teleport? How did you get here so quick?”
“What?” Karan said, half-surprised, half-annoyed.
“Got your cards? Please pay. I can’t find my wallet.”
“Do I know you?” Karan frowned.
Neha looked at him, around and whispered, “Is there some danger or something? Why are we acting like strangers?”
“Hello miss. I don’t know you.” Karan moved away, irritated.
“That’s what you got? Seriously?” She rolled her eyes, “Look, I’m sorry for being so wasted but in my defense I’m very happy and sad today so, let it be. Just pay and we’ll go home.”
“I said I don’t know you. Can you just stop?” Karan started walking away.
“Bhaiya please. One last time. I swear I won’t do it again.” She placed his hand on her head.
Karan snatched his hand, she held it again, “Your hand doesn’t feel like your hand.”
“That’s because I’m not your brother.” Karan released his hand off her grip.
“I guess I’m too drunk and just hallucinating, ‘cause there’s no way my bhaiya would talk like this.” Neha smacked her head and went to the washroom.
She closed the stall and lit a marijuana joint and kept it on the side and sat in for some time.
She walked out, washed her face with water and looked in the mirror. “Hey beautiful! Cute tat!”
“Thanks!” Sanjana smiled.
“I’m Rose and you’re hot.” She winked.
Sanjana’s cheeks turned red, “Thanks, you can call me Sanjana.” Had she been sober, she would've shown more restraint.
“Sanj! Sweet! Wanna kiss?”
“You?”
“Yes.”
“Uhmm.. I’ve never kissed...” Sanjana said softly.
“Everyone has a first, I don’t mind being yours.” Rose winked, “Only if you want it, of course. No pressure.” She smiled warmly.
“True." Sanjana smiled.
"You know you can say no if you're not interested. I won't bother you. And sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable, not my intention." She turned towards the mirror and dried her face with tissues.
Sanjana smiled, “Never has anyone asked what I want.”
“Oh sweetheart, I understand how that feels. If they don’t ask what you want, just scream and tell them. Life is too short to fulfil expectations of everyone. You wanna see my tattoo?”
"Show."
Rose pulled her skirt slightly below her waist and showed her bee tattoo.
"Je to bhanvra hai?"
"Haan. Kyunki bhanvre ki gunjan hai mera dil kabse sambhale rakha hai dil tere liye tere liye tere liye lalalaalaaa!" She started singing an oldie.
Sanjana blushed and pulled her close. "Rose, kiss me.”
“Sure.” Rose gently kissed her lips.
~
Meanwhile,
Karan came to the bar counter and asked for his bill.
"Sir you don't have to pay for anything. Someone is paying for all the drinks."
Karan scoffed, "No thanks, I'd like to pay my own bill."
"Karan?"
Karan heard a familiar voice and turned in his direction. "Randheer bhai?" He smiled warmly at his brother's old friend.
"Kaisa hai Chhote?" Randheer hugged him.
"I'm good bhai. How are you?"
"Badhiya ekdum! Kya chal raha hai aajkal?"
"Parakram SAF mein har ghar mein soldier project, naye recruits ki training chal rahi hai."
"Achha hai. Barkha bhabhi aur hamari nanhi gudiya rani kaisi hai?"
"Wo bhi acche hai. Aaiyega milne, gudiya bahot khush ho jayegi."
"Zaroor aaunga. Waise Madam Drama Queen se kya baat ho rahi thi? Tum use jaante ho?”
“Nahi. Mujhe nahi pata wo koun hai, pata nahi log itna kyu peete hai ki unhe hosh bhi nahi rehta kisse kya baat karni hai.”
“Aisa kya keh diya usne?”
"Chhodo na bhai, ye ameer baap ke bachhe kya hi samajhte hai apne aap ko. Aap jaante hai use?"
"We met in Mumbai a few years ago. She was doing a fundraiser event for her NGO."
"NGO?" Karan raised an eye, "Do they actually work?"
"Yes they do. We have put our blood sweat and tears into it." Ronnie retorted. and went back to making drinks.
“She’s a good human, very hardworking and kind hearted. Wapas aa jaye to achhe se milwata hu.”
“Mujhe nahi milna. Chalo, saath baith ke thoda pii lete hai.”
~
More in next post. :) Scroll down:) 🤗
~
“THE PERFECT MATCH” Arjun read the signboard, “Rathore, the place looks too loud and flashy, you go in from front, I’ll cover you from back.”
“Keep your hands away from the gun, okay?” Sameer warned.
“Yes. This better be a real emergency.”
“Hope so.” Sameer said and both parted ways and entered the bar from opposite directions. Sameer walked in and spotted Karan at a side table, having a drink. He walked up to him, “Ye kya kar rahe ho Rawte?”
“Kya? Koun ho tum?” Karan gulped his drink and stared at the stranger calling him Rawte.
“Damn it Rawte! Sharab tum pii rahe ho aur mujhe puch rahe ho main koun hu? Pagal ho gaye ho kya?”
“Main tumhe jaanta nahi hu.” Karan said.
“Badtameezi mat karo Rawte, chal kya raha hai yahan?”
Randheer looked at the duo and was wondering what the confusion was about.
“Pehli baat, main koi Rawte nahi hun, aur dusri baat main kisi Rawte ko nahi jaanta.”
Vikram saw Sameer and came to the table, “ACP Rathore, what are you doing here?” he looked at Karan drinking, “I thought you were a teetotaler.”
“Neha kahan hai?” Sameer asked.
“Somewhere around. What happened?” Vikram looked around, trying to locate her.
“I don’t know, she called up saying it’s an emergency.”
“Tum logon ko mera hi table mila baat karne ke liye?” Karan winced.
“What’s wrong with him?” Vikram whispered to Sameer.
“Ye Faizi kahan reh gaya?” Karan looked around, “Academy mei kam namoone hai jo yahan bhi ye sab…” he shook his head.
~
Arjun walked in from the back door, carefully scrutinizing the place.
Faizi came towards him, “Karan, bhai tu iss jagah ko aise kyu ghur raha hai?”
Arjun ignored him and kept looking.
Faizi placed his hand over his shoulder, “Kya hua? Kise dhund raha hai?”
Arjun shrugged his shoulder, “Tum koun ho?”
“Zyada chadh vadh gayi hai kya? Mujhe nahi pehchana?”
“Main sharab nahi piita. Jao mujhe apna kaam karne do.”
“Are bhai, hum yahan party karne aaye hai, tumhe kya kaam yaad aa gaya?”
Arjun finally found what he was looking for, he walked towards the centre table. Faizi followed him.
~
“Fellas!!” Neha climbed the centre-table and screamed, "Drinks on me! I’m very happy today! I found the love of my life!"
“Again?” Vikram shook his head in disbelief.
Sameer looked at them.
“Sanju?” Karan looked at Sanjana who had just climbed the table, with the girl he had bumped into earlier.
Crowley waved another bottle, "Girl, wanna try this one?"
Neha grinned, "Is that a Gold Label?"
Aziraphale whispered, "Temptation accomplished."
The bar-attendant came to Vikram, “Sir could you please get her down, it’s really against our policy.”
Vikram nodded and walked to the centre-table, “Come on Mona darling, get down.”
“F*ck off you jealous mofo! I do what I want.” She waved her middle finger to him.
“Get down.” Arjun stood with his hands folded across his chest.
She turned around and quietly got down from the table, Sanjana followed.
“This is your emergency?” Arjun’s voice was colder than ice.
“Bhaiya!” She started excitedly but the look on his face shut her, “Sorry. I got carried away and lost my wallet. Please pay them.”
“Ae modi, tu sherni se bheegi billi kaise ban gayi?” Sanjana questioned her. She looked at Arjun, “Sirji, aap ise kaise jaante ho?”
“Aap koun?” Arjun looked at her confusedly.
“Hey Hotness!” Faizi exclaimed, “Karan, Sanju, ye koun hai? Intro to karwao”
“Mind your language.” Arjun said.
“Are bhai! Matlab, ladki dekhi nahi aur apne bhai ko-”
“Faizi!” Karan came in as he heard Faizi’s voice.
Everyone turned at him, they looked at Karan and Arjun alternately.
“Hey bhavani maiyya! Je ke borantai hai?” Sanju exclaimed.
“Am I hallucinating?” Neha dropped herself on the floor and yelped in pain. She raised her hand towards Arjun and asked for help.
He locked his arms behind his back, “Help yourself.”
Neha cursed him under her breath and got up, “I never thought my mom would have an entire child and we’d not even know about his existence all our life.”
“Calm down woman.” Vikram said, “There’s apparently two of these Siamese twins.”
“At least their eyes are different. Alright, now which one of you’s mothers had an identical twin and just gave him away?” Neha looked at Karan and then Arjun.
“Shut up!” Karan and Arjun said in unison.
“Ya Allah, ye kya ho raha hai? Do do Karan?” Faizi looked at them and sipped his drink.
“I think it was Sugandha who had you and aai being the amazing sister and woman she is, decided to call you her child. No wonder Sugandha loves you so much. ”
Arjun glared, “Neha! She’s your mother, show some respect.”
“What? I’m being honest, with all due respect, that woman can totally pull this off, I won’t even be surprised if it’s real. Another round of shots to drink this surprise away.”
“Ab samajh mei aaya ki ye madam mujhe apna bill pay karne ko kyu keh rahi thi.” Karan thought out loud.
“Okay but what was the emergency?” Sameer asked.
Neha looked at Arjun who was giving her deathly glare, she pulled out a joint, “Calm down bro! Smoke this and chillax!”
“Where did you get this from?”
“The dealer.” She lit the joint, took a drag and started coughing.
“Stop trying to act cool, I know you don’t smoke.” Arjun took it from her hand and put it off.
She coughed so hard and ended up vomiting, a red liquid on the floor. “The f*ck is this?”
“Neha!” Arjun panicked, “What was in her drink?”
“Seriously woman!” Ronnie screamed from across the bar, “Did you really have the red wine cocktail I told you not to?”
She looked at him, raised her middle finger, “Nobody tells me what to do.”
“Who gave you this?” Sameer asked.
“Want more?” She pulled out an entire packet from her pocket. “Oh yeah… now I remembered why I called you, we have to catch the dealer.”
“Oh really?” Sameer sighed.
“What did he look like?” Arjun asked.
“I don’t remember.”
Sameer looked around, “The CCTV might help. Come on Rawte, let’s get to work.”
“Take this evidence.”
“Evidence that has your fingerprints all over it. Very useful indeed.” Arjun sassed and left with Sameer.
Neha looked at Randheer, “Dheer! Sorry for leaving like that, I remembered something and then forgot about you.”
“It’s alright.”
“So, apparently my brother has a carbon copy now… straight out of bollywood, isn’t it?”
“I still can’t believe what I just saw.”
“Me neither. Where did Sanj go?” Neha looked around and saw her dancing on the dance floor, “Where is bhaiya and his carbon copy?”
“To check the CCTV footage.” Randheer answered.
“Why do they need security footage? Idiots, take me there.”
CCTV room.
Sameer and Arjun have seen the footage, they get a slight reference of the dealer but his face is not visible.
"Sup fives, a ten is speaking."
"Neha please tell me you remember how he looked."
"LMAO, why? I'm still tracking him. He's got my solitaire ring and it has a tracker. Go find him here" She gave her phone.
"Why didn't you tell this before?"
"Did you ask?"
Arjun and Sameer looked at each other and shook their heads. "We are going, stay here, don't do anything stupid."
"Nah, I'm not stupid."
"You gave a solitaire diamond ring to a drug dealer. You idiot." Arjun smacked her head.
"I think I can help you people." Randheer said.
"Special Agent Karan Shergill and Special Agent Faizuddin Siddiqui, Indian Army. We would also like to help."
"Ek chutiye ko pakadne k liye puri sena? Kya gunda banega re tum log. You know what I'll just do it alone." Neha flipped her hair.
"Thik se khadi nahi ho pa rahi, dealer tak kaise pahuchogi?" Arjun shook his head.
"Don't underestimate me." She tripped on her dress.
Randheer tries to help her.
"No need, she will get up on her own." Arjun said curtly.
She yelped in pain, holding her ankle, "I think I sprained my ankle."
"Alright, let's go." Arjun leaves.
"Wait, I'm coming." Neha tried to get up but they already left. She took off her heels and looked at the window.
Arjun and Sameer were getting in their SUV, Randheer, Karan and Faizi insisted on joining them.
"You were really leaving without me?" Neha toyed her gun.
"How did you get here so fast?" Faizi asked.
"Jumped from the window."
"Stay here, enjoy your party, drink more, okay." Arjun sassed.
"That mofo has my ring, he's not getting away. I'mma slit his throat and get my ring back."
"That's very graphic. Please go inside." Sameer opened the SUV door.
Vikram came there, "Where have you been?"
"To hell and back."
Arjun signalled Vikram to distract her.
Vikram looked around and saw a litter of pups playing in a corner, "Hey Mona darling, see those puppies are calling you."
“Aww! Butterflies! Lily!” Neha screamed in ecstasy and ran up to the puppers.
“Give them a better name!” Arjun said as he sat in the SUV along with the others and drove off.
They played with the pups for a while, Vikram asked, “Where did your brother go?”
“To catch the drug dealer.”
“Who?”
“The person we were after gave me a tip, he was supposed to come here with his boss.”
“And you didn’t bother telling me this before getting your ass drunk.”
“I wasn’t sure about his info, might’ve been a lie or a trap.”
“It could’ve been anything but you have to share it, right. Anyways, let’s go. I think both the ACPs will handle the situation. You need to go home and sleep.”
“First I need to know how my brother has a twin and why we did not know about him.”
“We have the right people who can answer it.”
Vikram and Neha came back to the table where Aziraphale, Crowley and The Doctor were waiting for them.
"Hey God-woman! Where have you been?" Crowley asked as they took seats.
“I will be the one asking questions!” Neha swayed and slid a little off her seat. Vikram pulled her back to her seat, rolling his eyes.
"Alright, shoot!" Doctor asked for another round of shots.
"So, about my brother and his carbon copy,are they twins? Did my mother have an affair and an entire child we have no clue about?"
"Hold your horses, woman. What even!" Aziraphale looked at her in disgust and shock.
“There’s a chance that Sugandha has betrayed us all! US ALL!!” Neha closed her eyes dramatically, then opened them suddenly.. “So, don't you tell me to hold my horses, they are going to run wild.. until you tell me the truth!!” She jabbed Aziraphale with her finger.
"Okay, let's begin from the beginning. On day 3, the humans-"
"Azi! No!! Not from there. Go back to day 1." Crowley stopped him.
"Stop it both of you. I'll tell you, it's a mistake in the ineffable plan." Doctor said plainly.
"The plan is ineffable, there are no mistakes." Aziraphale pouted.
“The very presence of these twins is proof of the mistake.” The Doctor was as cool as ever. Then he waved a dismissive hand while looking at the exasperated face of Aziraphale. “In fact, Only You guys can make such ineffable plan effable”
Neha slammed her hand on the table, "Out!! With the truth.(hiccup) Now!” followed by another hiccup.
Crowley rolled his eyes while Vikram gave her a glass of water.
"So, God decided to make seven copies of one human model and they're usually born at different times in different continents. But somehow something glitched and these two are here at the same time."
"What glitch?"
"Well, you brother, Arjun, was supposed to not be on Earth for so long. But he stayed and then Karan was already here and now both are here."
"What does that mean? Not supposed to be here?"
"Means he had to, you know..." Crowley crosses his neck and tilts his head.
"Die?" Neha looks at him in fear and pain.
Crowley, Aziraphale and Doctor nodded in unison.
This knowledge was enough to make her sober, She took a deep breath as if to steady herself. “Then how come…” She trailed off, unable to say more.
“You can thank Azi for that.” Crowley scoffed.
“And I stand by my decision!” Aziraphale deadpanned. Crowley made a face at him.
“I dare you to do that again.” Aziraphale said softly, his eyes shining with a promise.
"He's not gonna die right?" Neha said uneasily.
"Everyone has to die someday you dumdum." The Doctor hit her head.
"When?" She was visibly shaking.
"That information is classified." Crowley crossed his arms, "Come on God-woman, relax! Nothing's gonna happen to him as long as you're around."
"Could we please talk about something else?" Vikram tried to lighten the tensed moment.
“I’d rather have the answers now.” Neha knew she won’t have a moment’s peace without knowing the full story.
"So it's about time when Arjun was 6 years old."
"You guys are terrible at storytelling." Doctor mocked.
Aziraphale ignored the comment, “You were about to be born, the city was flooded, it had been raining for five days at a stretch. Our little Arjun had to go and fetch the midwife to help your mother give birth to you.”
“He wasn’t to return, but he did.”
“I thought it would be cruel of a house to gain one child and lose another so I might’ve done a little miracle and saved him from drowning.”
“And by that time, Karan was already two, and we had no instructions for either of them, so they lived.”
“Cheers to that!” They had a few more rounds of shots.
"I'll go dance with Sanj!" Neha excused herself after a few drinks.
~
Scroll down for more :) 🤗
Edited by DelusionsOfNeha - 2 years ago~
In the SUV,
"How do you know Neha?" Arjun asked Randheer.
"Met her a few years ago."
"Have you two dated?"
Randheer shrugged, "What? Eww..no! Why would you even ask that?"
"She was wearing your jacket."
"How did you know?"
"Your cologne is quite strong. And it had your initials too."
"You're very observant Arjun. I'm impressed."
“Rawte, directions.”
“Take a left, we’re almost there.”
At the Dealer's den.
The boss is shouting, "Pagal ho kya, ek packet weed ke badle ek anguthi koun deta hai? Tum kisse lekar aaye ho ye?"
"Boss wo… advance hai, usko aur drugs chahiye apni rave party ke liye, iss weekend."
"Agar kuch gadbad huyi na to tumhari khair nahi."
Arjun, Sameer, Randheer, Karan and Faizi are standing outside, overhearing their conversation.
"So, what's the plan?" Randheer asked.
"We go in and the usual." Arjun looked at Sameer.
"I've informed the local police, they'll be here soon. I just hope it's not a part of a bigger game."
"What does the usual mean?" Randheer sought clarification.
"We will take prisoners, no killing. Hopefully they have some information or they'll be jailed for possession of illegal drugs and all. We will have some fun with them seeing you two doppelgangers."
"Rathore, Neha ke khurafati ideas mat laga yahan."
"Bachhi hai abhi. Jaane de."
"Nahi Rathore, ye thik nahi hai, agar use apne decisions khud lene hai to uski jimmedari bhi khud hi leni padegi. Ye casual attitude nahi chalega."
"Ghar ja kar daant dena, abhi kaam khatam kar le?" Sameer briefs the plan.
Sameer and Faizi seal the back exit while Karan, Arjun and Randheer take the front. They get the dealer and his men to surrender, some of them try to run but are caught.
“Judwaa?” The boss looks at Karan and Arjun, everyone is confused.
"Where's the ring?" Arjun asks their boss.
Boss looks at the junior dealer, "Bola tha na maine, ye pakka koi chal hai? Kab akal aayegi re tere mei?"
"Jail jaa kar sabki akal thikane aayegi. Chalo jaldi se ring wapas karo nahi to nikalwane ke aur bhi tarike hai hamare paas." Sameer held them at gunpoint.
"Ek hi shart pe anguthi milegi, meri saza kam karwao." The boss tried to negotiate.
"Chup chap anguthi wapas kar aur apna muh band rakh." Arjun scolded him.
He returned the ring, “Tum dono sach me judwaa ho? Kaise?”
“Bakwas mat kar.”
The local police arrived and all of them were arrested.
“Rawte, ek idea hai.”
“Rathore, nahi.”
“Soch to, hum uss master prankster ke sath prank karenge, kitna maza aayega.”
“Use pata chal jayega.”
“It’s about the timing, let’s bet.”
~
They returned to THE PERFECT MATCH.
"So finally we know, bhaiya and his carbon copy ain't related. I'm kinda disappointed in mom, why didn't she do something scandalous?"
"Did you drink after we left?" Karan, who was now dressed as Arjun, asked Neha.
"Well you asked me to." She shrugged and looked at Arjun, who was now dressed as Karan, "What's your name carbon copy?"
"Karan Shergill."
"Ohh! Noice." She turned to Randheer, "Is he, by any chance related to your bestie Param?"
"Yes, his younger brother."
"The world really is small and round. How's he? Haven't heard from him in a while."
"You don't know?" Randheer raised a brow, "We lost him two years ago."
"What? No! Really? The last time we talked he told me about his daughter.. oh that sweetie pie.. Trisha, right? Damn.. I really wanna go and fight God."
"You gonna fight yourself God-woman?" Crowley asked.
"Nah, there's probably someone else in charge, right?" Neha looked at Aziraphale, who nodded and looked confused. "But if there's none, then it's messed up real bad and we're all doomed." She walked upto Arjun, held his hand, "Your brother was one of the kindest, sincere and caring man I've ever met. We joked about how dramatic it was that our brothers' were named Karan and Arjun and what would happen if they got together. He was such a dork, he laughed at my lame jokes. I feel your pain. But never forget to cherish his precious memories. It will help you get through." Neha shut her eyes and took a deep breath, “Wait. Hold on. You-” She looked at Karan and back at Arjun, “DId you really just exchange clothes and thought you’d fool me?”
“Told you it won’t work Rathore.” Arjun smirked.
“Samie bro, you serious? You really thought I couldn’t tell my brother and his carbon copy apart? Wow! I’m disappointed. Think better next time.”
Arjun chuckled looking at Sameer’s flustered face.
“Since you were so drunk, I thought it might take you some time. But no, you had to know it.” Sameer shook his head in disappointment.
“You really ruined my moment here.” She turned to Karan, “I meant to say it to you. Param was an amazing human, and I’m sorry.”
“Thank you.” Karan smiled at her.
“Sirji?” Sanju came to them, tired from all the dancing and drinking. “Aap mei se hamare Karan sirji kounse hai?”
“Pehchaano to jaane!” Faizi smiled.
She looked at the two, “Je ke ho rahyo he? Hume ghar jana hai.”
“Sanj! This one’s your sirji.” Neha pointed towards Karan.
The bar attendant came to them, “It’s almost closing time, ma’am please pay the bill.”
“Already? We had just begun.”
Arjun went with him to pay the bill, “Are you sure about the zeroes?”
“Yes sir. Here’s the detailed bill.” The attendant gave him the bill.
“Neha, what is this?”
“Bill? Yeah, send it to mom. Tell her to be as disappointed as she can be about it. I am not getting engaged.”
Arjun sighed and paid the bill.
“You remember I told you, that I met Aziraphale, Crowley and the Doctor? And you didn’t believe me? Jokes on you, ‘cause they’re here. See!” Neha pointed at the trio.
“Okay, so?”
“Ice cream!” She screamed and walked out on the road. An ice-cream man was going home, she stopped him and bought all the leftover ice-cream from him, sat on the road and started eating it.
The others came out and she offered them too. “Roro! Honey, come have some ice-cream.” She shouted at Ronnie.
“Why are you sitting on the road?” Ronnie picked his ice-cream and sat beside her.
“I was tired of standing and my feet hurt from all that dancing.”
“Je aasmaan dekho, kitto khubsurat hai!” Sanju said dreamily.
“Ronnie! Will you call Myrah? She hasn’t been responding me. It’s the 8 year anniversary of our unofficial marriage.”
“Your unofficial what?” Arjun almost jumped.
“8 years ago, we went for this Mountaineering camp in Manali, yeah, there was this old little temple and we kinda got married there.”
“You were a minor then, right?” Sameer asked, for reassurance.
“That’s why I said unofficial, duh.”
Ronnie gave his phone, “She’s on line.”
“Joyeux anniversaire de mariage mon amour!” Neha whispered in French.
“Mon amour, je táime plus que tout au monde!” (I love you more than anything in the world.)
“Je t’aime pour l’éternité.”
Myrah smiled, “Babe, I’m in the middle of something, will chat later, bye love, take care.”
“I’m having your favourite ice-cream and missing you, come soon.”
“I will. See ya’!” Myrah disconnected the call.
Neha pouted, “What’s with her not talking to me? Does she not love me anymore?”
Ronnie shook his head, “Are you drunk enough to not remember this tomorrow morning?”
“Mostly.”
“She’s planning a surprise, hence this all. She is coming back, soon.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Please don’t remember I said this, or both of you will me for ruining your surprise.”
“Yay! Can’t wait to slide this ring in her finger and say it’s official now.”
Karan looked at Arjun, “What was that?”
“I’m not entirely sure but I think that was her girlfriend. Chhoti Maa is not gonna be happy about this. She has other plans.”
“I can imagine the drama.”
“Bhaiya! Tell mom, I’m not marrying a man. I'd cut my finger but not put an engagement ring from a man of her choice."
“You tell her that.”
“I did. She said tu kya tere pitaji bhi wo karenge jo main kahungi.”
Arjun sighed, “I’m out of this. Karan, you wanna live my life for a day or two, I could really use a change.”
“Is your family as crazy as she is?”
“No, she has it all.”
Karan looked at her, eating two ice cream cones at once, “No thanks, I’d rather train my namoonas. All of them together won’t equal half this drama queen. Hats off to you for putting up with this everyday.”
Neha, Crowley and Ronnie were singing Bohemian Rhapsody and Take Me To Church loudly.
'Mumma just killed a man ..
Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia, let me go
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me,
For meee'
Neha pulled out two knives and started juggling them while vocalising the song.
"Neha, put those knives away, you'll hurt someone!" Arjun shouted.
"You know I can juggle five knives at once, these are just two."
Arjun hit his forehead and looked at Karan, “It is always an intense desire to hit her head on the wall or your own. And somehow, neither of it works.”
'So you think you can love me and leave me to die
Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby,
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here
Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go,
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
Mama, oooh
I don't want to die,
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all.'
'Take me to church
I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife
Offer me that deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life
No masters or kings when the ritual begins
There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin
In the madness and soil of that sad earthly scene
Only then I am human
Only then I am clean
Oh, oh, Amen, Amen, Amen'
“Oh, damn. Where is she going?” Karan looked at Neha walking towards the main road.
“Neha?” Arjun yelled.
“I’m getting hit by a train.”
“You’re on the wrong track woman!”
Aziraphale said tight-lipped, “Crowley!”
"Offer me that deathless death, Good God, let me give you my life…" they heard her sing.
A speeding truck came and hit her. Everyone gasped in shock.
“Oh dear, is she dead?” Crowley said loud enough for everyone to stare at him.
Crowley, Aziraphale and the Doctor reached by her side immediately while others still tried to grasp the situation, “God-woman?”
Neha opened her eyes groggily, “Am I in heaven or hell?” She looked at Aziraphale and Crowley.
“You’re on earth dipshit!” Doctor scoffed.
“Not again.” They helped her get up and came back, “Sanj, love I’m alive for you.” and hugged her.
"Pagal ho gayi hai modi, aise koun karta hai?" Sanjana pushed her a bit.
"Damn it Neha! What was that?" Sameer scolded her.
Arjun scoffed, "Don't you dare try that ever again. Samjhi ya samjhau."
"What the f*ck were you trying to do?" Ronnie shouted.
"Why is everyone scolding me, I just wanted to die… but not even God wants me." She pouted.
“How did nothing happen to her? She was hit by a truck.” Faizi looked at her in disbelief.
“Either the angel or the demon saved her.” Vikram said unfazed.
“I think we all should just go home now, this is too much.” Randheer said. “Are you returning my jacket?”
Neha shrugged, “No. I’ll give you a new one, I’m keeping this.”
“I think it’s an overload… ”
“All the best Arjun.” Karan waved at him.
“Good luck to you.” Arjun smiled.
“That was chaos, unlimited.”
~
That's all the chaos fro today!
It was almost 6k words!! Thanks for reading! Do drop in your precious comments and thanks a lot for patiently waiting!
Riya, thanks for the idea of the crossover!! 
Special thanks to my bestie Karuna for helping me out brainstorm ideas for this one, Preya and Hemil for giving me special inputs!🤗
likh do likh do fatafat..
Once I will get some time hum bhi apne #KPs pakaayenge..🥳
It is a real chaos 😂
Would be waiting for the next update ❤️
Please do Darshi...I need some motivation to write KPs
Tumlog chalun karoge toh mil jayegi Motivation😆
Haan thodi free ho jaau work load se an studies se uske baad.
Omg it was fab!
Karan-Arjin aagaye LMAO! Your story gave me an idea to make a vm on Karan Arjun😆
Thanks for tagging too☺️
