Definition of Good Daughter inlaw on ITV - Page 2

Posted: 2 years ago
Originally posted by Rose-13


This is what I’m trying to tell even spending so much time with family nd given them selfless love she got this in return,, just one mistake nd she was out from the house nd eventually separated from husband,,, ok beating with thick wood can be dhara’s mistake but she has given her good times to them nd suman didn’t count even one good things before throwing her out,, Is she that worthless..?? 

for prank I didn’t understand what they wanted to prove by scaring rishita how she would have started to give value to dhara after this incident didn’t understand🙄 

Breaking suman’s home,,, she is been with suman for 10 years doesn’t she know  dhara why suman has not given a thought of if dhara has not done anything wrong in these years nd suddenly she has done something like this what could be the reason... but nahhh all power goes to suman she is the owner of house one mistake nd i will throw you out,,, isnt it same thing that happen in real life also (at some places) with daughter in laws,,, its ITV trend to show daughter in law worthless even after giving their whole life for sasural,,, suman didn’t threw her sons out but dhara,,, even after spending 10 years with family dhara is still an outsider for suman where as her  sons after doing horrific mistake got one slap... to me it is unjustified 

If suman consider dhara an outsider then all her love nd affections she gave to those brothers were ehsan from dhara,,, suman should be thankful to dhara for whatever good she has done for her family nd store 

Now that ravi nd dev marriage things as i told you i dont watch this show regularly so I can’t comment much but whatever little bit i have seen on instagram i concluded that  they were wrong both dev nd dhara 

Now that hiding things from family members,,, this is also so ITV things where they hide things from their own people and i dont like these kind of hide nd seek game,,, i can’t comment much only this that dhara was wrong in asking them to hide things from suman

 My topic is about dhara’s (daughter inlaw) importance in the eyes of mother in law because society ask too much from bahu they should be loving, compromising, sacrificing, understanding And after doing all these they live a life with fear that they can be thrown out from house if they do any mistake after all house belongs to saas only 



I understand where you're coming from. Why does a saas have the power to kick out a daughter in law. Simply because it's her home first and not her daughter in law's. Same way a parent can kick out their kid if they want to.  Now it is Dhara's home too, just like it is Gaumbi's, Shiva's, Krish's, Dev's etc. But who's house are they living in? Suman's. It's not Suman who went to go live with her sons, it's her sons who chose to stay. This joint family setting of living with the elders is the culture this story is wrapped up in. So, while the elders are around, they will always have to be held accountable to them. It's the way desi culture works. 


It's not that Dhara is worthless, it's that her one mistake is one of the worst mistakes she could've committed.  It's because she didn't sincerely apologize for what she did, nor did she have any good reason for what she did. Suman asked her several times, and all Dhara could say was that she was angry. Dhara's beating of S+K is so illogical that Suman can't follow Dhara's thought process, so when Dhara and Gaumbi are saying they did it for unity or because S+R were fighting, not respecting Rishita, it just doesn't make sense.  Like Suman said, there were a lot of other ways to handle this.  It's clear to Suman that Dhara lost control of her anger and beat those guys brutally.  You can't expect a mother to keep calm about this and look at things from the abuser's (Dhara's) POV. 


Suman has no reason to kick out her kids, they didn't do anything like this to each other to warrant that level of punishment.  Suman realizes that while the prank was wrong, they didn't ever mean to physically harm Rishita. Dhara intentionally beat and caused S+K physical harm on purpose


Also, to Suman, this is not the first time Dhara has done something wrong. It's true that we can't overlook the good Dhara did for the family but it only takes one mistake to ruin everything. For Suman, Dhara's crime of beating & separating her own children outweighs a lot of the good that Dhara did.  Because that's how grave Dhara's mistake was.  Everyone has their own limits. 


Excusing Dhara just because of the good she did is like saying "My husband only beat me once, but look at the last 10 years he spent caring for me," IMO that's not a healthy mentality to have.  We can't just sweep away people's bad deeds with "oh they only did it once" in cases such as these (physical abuse). We can forgive, but that has to be because of serious repentance too. Which, Dhara IMO has not done.


I don't think Suman considers Dhara an outsider, but Suman just has no qualms about letting her go should she step out of bounds. Suman's a tough lady. Suman was hurt by what Dhara did, what other punishment would/could you give to Dhara at that point? Suman knew what would hurt Dhara as much as Dhara hurt her, and she took that opportunity. Also, who else was going to hold Dhara accountable? This is the structure of joint families - you answer to your elders. It's not like Suman kicked Dhara out for no reason. 


I don't think it's right that society asks that much of daughter in law. I agree that it's too much. I understand where you're coming from. However, that POV still doesn't give Dhara the right to physically abuse other family members. Her punishment (getting kicked out) fits her crime. 


There are a lot of situations where daughter in laws are kicked out for no good reason, where it's not justified. This is why in reality, joint family systems are just not good.  But in this show, they want to live like this, so this comes with the territory, for as long as Suman is alive. And then it'll be passed to Dhara. 

Posted: 2 years ago

This is actually the truth. yes a woman can be thrown out even after years of marriage if the husband is not strong,supportive and girl has no support from the maternal family and if she is financial dependent on either of them. and to top it up,if she has kids,even more difficult to move out.


its actually tough.

Posted: 2 years ago
Originally posted by Shivikaishkara


ITV runs on the age-old misogynistic ideal, "Aurat ka kaam hai sehna." A woman's strength, according to these people, lies in how much she can endure. 


They don't realise that they're basically admitting that woman suffer, hence they have to endure. iTv romanticises a woman's suffering, and anyone who harms her HAS to be forgiven if they realise their mistakes.


ITV is inherently highly misogynistic, which is sad, since two of the MOST prominent producers are women (ekta and gul).

@bold blue,that is the mindset of society amd girl's parents. And women are made to believe that.

@bold 2 those two women are a curse to womanhood.one promotes same sex the other one promotes abuse and force shaadi on woman.😡..i hate them both.

Posted: 2 years ago
Originally posted by Rose-13


 

Slapped them... so what was wrong in dhara beating them.. isn’t it dhara also love them as her own sons so if a biological mother can slap then a mother figure bhabhi can also beat them

And in my opinion the prank they palyed was really dangerous as per dhara rishita has lost her voice for sometimes,,, these kind of pranks can give heart attack  to anybody and they can loose their life also,,, so just  slapping them nd giving disgusted look is not enough for me where dhara was given punishment to leave the house nd her husband with whom she had lived for 10 years... dhara’s punishment is bigger than shiva nd krish 

Suman should have listened to dhara with understanding if she didn’t leave her or her sons in these 10 years then what can be the reason for her separating the kitchen now.... this would have given a nice scene nd a new things on ITV where saas bahu have that good relationship,, thoda bhut nok jhok,, danta manana to chalta hi hai per insult nhi 🤔

Thank you for jotting out my mind voice.but none is ready to accept that dhara was correct in someway.

Posted: 2 years ago
Originally posted by Rose-13


This is what I’m trying to tell even spending so much time with family nd given them selfless love she got this in return,, just one mistake nd she was out from the house nd eventually separated from husband,,, ok beating with thick wood can be dhara’s mistake but she has given her good times to them nd suman didn’t count even one good things before throwing her out,, Is she that worthless..?? 

for prank I didn’t understand what they wanted to prove by scaring rishita how she would have started to give value to dhara after this incident didn’t understand🙄 

Breaking suman’s home,,, she is been with suman for 10 years doesn’t she know  dhara why suman has not given a thought of if dhara has not done anything wrong in these years nd suddenly she has done something like this what could be the reason... but nahhh all power goes to suman she is the owner of house one mistake nd i will throw you out,,, isnt it same thing that happen in real life also (at some places) with daughter in laws,,, its ITV trend to show daughter in law worthless even after giving their whole life for sasural,,, suman didn’t threw her sons out but dhara,,, even after spending 10 years with family dhara is still an outsider for suman where as her  sons after doing horrific mistake got one slap... to me it is unjustified 

If suman consider dhara an outsider then all her love nd affections she gave to those brothers were ehsan from dhara,,, suman should be thankful to dhara for whatever good she has done for her family nd store 

Now that ravi nd dev marriage things as i told you i dont watch this show regularly so I can’t comment much but whatever little bit i have seen on instagram i concluded that  they were wrong both dev nd dhara 

Now that hiding things from family members,,, this is also so ITV things where they hide things from their own people and i dont like these kind of hide nd seek game,,, i can’t comment much only this that dhara was wrong in asking them to hide things from suman

 My topic is about dhara’s (daughter inlaw) importance in the eyes of mother in law because society ask too much from bahu they should be loving, compromising, sacrificing, understanding And after doing all these they live a life with fear that they can be thrown out from house if they do any mistake after all house belongs to saas only 

@bold🥺😭

Posted: 2 years ago

Originally posted by Shivikaishkara


ITV runs on the age-old misogynistic ideal, "Aurat ka kaam hai sehna." A woman's strength, according to these people, lies in how much she can endure. 


They don't realise that they're basically admitting that woman suffer, hence they have to endure. iTv romanticises a woman's suffering, and anyone who harms her HAS to be forgiven if they realise their mistakes.


ITV is inherently highly misogynistic, which is sad, since two of the MOST prominent producers are women (ekta and gul).

Satya vachan👏👏

 True to the T 

Misogynistic to the core 

Posted: 2 years ago

Originally posted by Rose-13


This is what I’m trying to tell even spending so much time with family nd given them selfless love she got this in return,, just one mistake nd she was out from the house nd eventually separated from husband,,, ok beating with thick wood can be dhara’s mistake but she has given her good times to them nd suman didn’t count even one good things before throwing her out,, Is she that worthless..?? 

for prank I didn’t understand what they wanted to prove by scaring rishita how she would have started to give value to dhara after this incident didn’t understand🙄 

Breaking suman’s home,,, she is been with suman for 10 years doesn’t she know  dhara why suman has not given a thought of if dhara has not done anything wrong in these years nd suddenly she has done something like this what could be the reason... but nahhh all power goes to suman she is the owner of house one mistake nd i will throw you out,,, isnt it same thing that happen in real life also (at some places) with daughter in laws,,, its ITV trend to show daughter in law worthless even after giving their whole life for sasural,,, suman didn’t threw her sons out but dhara,,, even after spending 10 years with family dhara is still an outsider for suman where as her  sons after doing horrific mistake got one slap... to me it is unjustified 

If suman consider dhara an outsider then all her love nd affections she gave to those brothers were ehsan from dhara,,, suman should be thankful to dhara for whatever good she has done for her family nd store 

Now that ravi nd dev marriage things as i told you i dont watch this show regularly so I can’t comment much but whatever little bit i have seen on instagram i concluded that  they were wrong both dev nd dhara 

Now that hiding things from family members,,, this is also so ITV things where they hide things from their own people and i dont like these kind of hide nd seek game,,, i can’t comment much only this that dhara was wrong in asking them to hide things from suman

 My topic is about dhara’s (daughter inlaw) importance in the eyes of mother in law because society ask too much from bahu they should be loving, compromising, sacrificing, understanding And after doing all these they live a life with fear that they can be thrown out from house if they do any mistake after all house belongs to saas only 

Ok Either u aren't watching the show everyday or u r simply making PS to come in that list where dil r treated badly. 

Let's talk about Suman

She is honestly one of the most realistic saas from a small place. 

She has a rough tongue that's why when she says correct things people calls her wrong. She talks like that with everyone NOT ONLY WITH DHARA. That is Suman, she gets uncomfortable when Shiva hugs who she loves the most. That is what Suman is. 

About Suman isn't respecting Dhara or something. After leap she has been amazing. She proudly says to everyone that Dhara has took care of her family and kept it United. Even after soo much instigation from others she loves and cares for her. When there was a godbharayi function she stopped her from going as she knew Dhara will get taunted for it and she did that bcoz she cared. When Rishita, Mami or anyone insults Dhara she stands like a wall in front of her. 

The most recent one she knew Dhara did something and due to her no one is telling her still she made Mami and Rishita from badmouthing her. 

She gave a lot of chances to Dhara to come clean and tell her the truth. But it was soo called perfect Bahu who broke her trust. Even after confirming with her sons she again asked Dhara to tell the truth which she still didn't said the whole thing. 

Then how Suman is wrong. Just bcoz we r used to seeing perfect Bahu and evil saas so Dhara gets all the sympathy and Suman all the bashing. 

Also during Raavi Dev ki wedding. Dev was more at fault but it was due to Dhara's misunderstanding that the thing went soo far. She gave all of them chances to tell the truth. 

But as Dhara and Dev were at fault she didn't was nice towards them if u have seen episodes she didn't gave Dev too ashirwad like she did with Shivi. 

& When Gaumbi told her the truth Suman never again said anything to her but Dhara Devi too had problems with it. Of Suman doesn't knows anything still supports Dhara what more people want her to do. 

Even in this episode I think u didn't saw how she pointed out the mistakes of her favourite Gaumbi also asked him to leave the house which he didn't but mahaan Dhara was ready to leave so how is Suman is at fault. She pointed how both of them is wrong. 

Also that prank happened bcoz Dhara was busy mentally and emotionally harrassing Shiva Raavi. Idk how people doesn't see how after marriage she keeps on blackmailing them knowing whole world can go against them not Shiva and Raavi too. 

U know seeing her children ka back that moment was soo emotional. Beating your kid with 4 slaps is still understandable but beating like animals is a big no. After getting trashed like animals u wanted Suman to beat them further? R u serious

I am copy pasting what I have written earlier too below: 

U r saying how Suman is wrong in asking her to leave. 


It was Dhara's decision most importantly if u see Dhara's actions that Suman even being part of the family and technically this is her family is kept away from everything happening in their lives. 


So how is Suman wrong? 


Even after being head of family the most important decisions of her children life is hidden from her and she is kept in dark about what is happening. Just bcoz she is living in the same house doesn't mean being a family it is important to be part of all the small to big decisions related to the family.


Difference between Suman and Dhara is that Suman told in clear and harsh tone and Dhara by emotional blackmail and crying so Suman becomes the bad person. 


Except for childless thing (I was super disppointed about that but that came after see saw the way her children were treated in her absence that too by that person who she knew treats them like their children but broke her trust) not even a single thing said by Suman was wrong but bcoz Dhara is Devi so except her all are wrong even being correct. 


A character's good works credit too is given to her even when she is at fault. Good deeds which a person did due to humanity and bcoz he/she is a good person and not villan but no it is not they r nice it is bcoz Deviji ka decision even when that decision was shit. We saw that what happened to Rishita in today's episode and few episodes back Gaura were talking about Shivi. 

Technically saara raita Dhara ne kiya tha but end of the episode she got all the credit. All apologized for their mistakes whatever they did except Dhara due to whom all this happened. 

So I definitely don't see Suman stripping Dhara's self respect like Dhara did with Shiva Krish. 

Posted: 2 years ago
Originally posted by chinnu_kaku


Thank you for jotting out my mind voice.but none is ready to accept that dhara was correct in someway.

I think u aren't understanding it is not about Dhara beating them. It is Dhara beating them merciless, like animals and not even caring how they r doing not even to that kid Krish. 

Also if u have seen the difference between what Dhara said and Suman u will know. 

Dhara was going on and on about how they should respect their Bhabhi and about her parvarish but Suman said how they shouldn't have done the same with any girl. 

Also Dhara never saw how they r doing u saw the way Suman put her aanchal on their backs.

That is the difference. Also slapping them in India is soo called haq of mothers but not thrashing like animals. 

This things makes Dhara wrong and still not apologizing is big thing she isn't ready to accept that she did wrong. 

That's why Dhara comes at wrong side

Posted: 2 years ago

Most people here are mixing up right and wrong, We can't right a wrong deed with another err. Suman has wronged Dhara many times but she's now considered a not so bad MIL and simply patriarchal after we see her treating her DIL (an exceptional one, DIL replaced MIL effectively in taking care of the house and saving their business too and MIL who'd bedridden was there simply for namesake) a little bit better than earlier while we can't forgive Dhara who has crossed the limits for a very short while after many years of giving up herself, few don't term it as sacrifice as she herself has shouldered up the responsibilities but let's not forget the world we live in where people are quite selfish. Are we not being biased!! Are we not trying to normalize the prolonged mental abuse while trying to banish physical violence!! Let's not support any form of abuse, be it physical or mental.


Someone rightly pointed out, Dev was left scot-free tho Raavi tried to end her life, even then Dhara was held responsible by MIL!! Was Dev forced to oblige to Dhara, it was his own decision but none neither held him responsible nor spouted a single word against him. Wasn't that being partial with sons of the house!! This is seemingly a regressive show and the audience are also so attuned to it. I can't imagine myself being so sane if I were in Dhara's place with such a MIL as Suman, age isn't considered a priority to respect elders at home anymore, old-age homes have been an increasingly considerable option.

Posted: 2 years ago
Originally posted by --Amulya--


Most people here are mixing up right and wrong, We can't right a wrong deed with another err. Suman has wronged Dhara many times but she's now considered a not so bad MIL and simply patriarchal after we see her treating her DIL (an exceptional one, DIL replaced MIL effectively in taking care of the house and saving their business too and MIL who'd bedridden was there simply for namesake) a little bit better than earlier while we can't forgive Dhara who has crossed the limits for a very short while after many years of giving up herself, few don't term it as sacrifice as she herself has shouldered up the responsibilities but let's not forget the world we live in where people are quite selfish. Are we not being biased!! Are we not trying to normalize the prolonged mental abuse while trying to banish physical violence!! Let's not support any form of abuse, be it physical or mental.


Someone rightly pointed out, Dev was left scot-free tho Raavi tried to end her life, even then Dhara was held responsible by MIL!! Was Dev forced to oblige to Dhara, it was his own decision but none neither held him responsible nor spouted a single word against him. Wasn't that being partial with sons of the house!! This is seemingly a regressive show and the audience are also so attuned to it. I can't imagine myself being so sane if I were in Dhara's place with such a MIL as Suman, age isn't considered a priority to respect elders at home anymore, old-age homes have been an increasingly considerable option.

your words are on point,,, physical abuse is always above mental abuse.. many people overlook mental abuse nd dont give much thought abt it

what I was trying to say that on ITV they show a DIL can be treated as trash by MIL nd just coz they are older so a girl has to respect them nd follow each nd every orders..it is also makers’s mistake where they show a girl as mahan devi who can sacrifice for the sake of family ,,, in this show dhara is always trying to solve things all by her,, if anything wrong happened than she hide it from other family members nd alone she bear all pain nd sadness,,, when dev chooses  to kept quiet nd didn’t mention abt rishita it was purely dev’s mistake.. dhara misunderstood raavi nd dev bonding that also coz dev never cleared it to dhara everyone out there was knowing abt raavi’s feelings how is this possible dev was unknown to it nd when things were proceeding then also dev was quiet and suman has guts to call dhara wrong but not his son.... what I didn’t like that also where dhara actually emotionally pushed shiva into this mess in the delusion of that a forced marriage will work coz my son is very good but they failed to understand ravi’s feelings... she was abt to get marry her love but instead she got married to his younger brother... nd dhara decision was wrong for both shiva nd ravi,,, makers could have shown something else or have given sometimes to ravi nd shiva but they jumped to forced marriage... to some extent what dhara is facing from her MIL is also dhara’s own mistake,, one should not give anyone that haq that they can walk over you,,rather one should think twice before talking rudely with you thats my thought absolutely nd makers will never ever show a DIL like this,,, ITV can never show a respectful  relation between DIL nd MIL ,, either of them has to be khados or  bechari,,, so after watching old episodes I have come to conclusion that neither suman is right nor dhara is right,, they both are wrong in their own ways

What  dhara did was wrong but her intentions can never be wrong.. she beat them coz she must be irritated or frustrated to that level after going through all those  dev nd raavi then shiva nd raavi shadi’s prblms,,, she is also human who can loose her cool when pushed to that limit nd here after bhooth kand by shiva nd krish she lost it completely otherwise we have seen dhara as one who always try  to solve the problem not getting angry on any situation,,,, but here suman didn’t try to listen or give her any single chance... if you say shiva nd krish prank was not intended to harm rishita then also dhara beating them was not intended  to kill them (so stop labelling her as criminal) or hurt them hard... yes she shouldn’t have done that but in that situation for dhara she didn’t gave much thought abt it nd just reacted in that way and in India as we all know it is very common thing for elders where they think they can sudharo their children by beating them🙄( I’m not supporting it so don’t judge me)

 I dont know if you all remember one scene from one of the episode where mami came to talk suman nd suman reacted like this that she threw one thick wood towards mami nd dhara came in between nd she got hurt... for suman mami is wrong so she can hit her by throwing that thick wood i know mami is bad here but still she  is middle aged woman so it could have injured her very badly so physical abuse from suman is acceptable kyunki samne wala uska beta nhi koi aur hai lekin jab bete ke uper physical abuse ho to bahu ko ghar se nikal do.. double standards 🙄 I’m not justifying any of these beating but suman khud kare to sahi aur dhara mare to galat,,, what bothered me the most was suman didn’t gave single chance to dhara nd didn’t listen her side of story her mental trauma by taking care of grown up kids who like to fight nd always create some problems for her,,, being head of the family  one has to show their wisdom of understanding the situation they dont act foolish nd same goes to dhara also being a good DIL doesn’t mean to take care of everyone’s problems they are big enough to deal with their married life so let them be,, focus on gautam that guy is so nice and i like gaumbi who is different from other ML he loves her trust her nd most importantly he understands her ❤️



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Last replied by --Amulya--

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