Aai's love for Sai/Virat - Page 3

Agree on the part Aai should talk to Virat to knock some sense into him. Pakhi would do what she can do anyway. It's her responsibility to sit down and explain everything the way pakhi is instigating both of them.  I believe she also should tell Sai not to get provoked by Pakhi always and focus on only their marriage. 

Ashwini I guess being a selfish mother who only wishes her sons happiness  .Because she knows Sai is the right girl for Virat. She is well aware of the fact Virat can't live without Sai. And she doesn't want a complicated life  for her son what she has been enduring.

This content was originally posted by: Nja91

Ashwini ideally should have had a chat with her son about everything. She knows both Sai and Virats issues. Sai has told her even during alta kaand that she thinks virat loves pp but ashwini brushed it aside. Infact Ashwini knew from the very beginning about virat pp but never discussed it openly with virat.  Today Ashwini fears that Sai is really going to leave again because she is hurt that her husband may have a commitment to another woman who is his priority. But she knows that virat has been trying to maintain the boundaries and it is pp who violates all limits of decency. Also Ashwini has seen that Virat has been genuinely moving on with Sai so Ashwini seems to have decided not to talk to virat at all.  She pushed Sai to understand Virats feelings for her and also to show Sai that she also has feelings for Virat. Ashwini has also confronted and counseled pp to no avail and she knows that the elders support pp. So she has spoken to Sai and pp but not virat. And now in this situation,  instead of just watching it'd be logical for her to go talk to virat and calmly explain. But i guess they have decided that sunny can come to do that and ashwini will stand on sidelines. 

As a mother its odd that she chooses to be silent. Maybe we should assume that she wants things to calm down a bit before addressing virat. Gusse aur hurt mein its hard to give someone advice. They are too wrapped up in their feelings to listen na.... even with Sai she didnt say much on phone in terms of advice. She just seems to have this quiet resignation that things will settle down in due time and Sairat will eventually talk it out. 

On the phone, she initially started with passive "defense" of virat  but because Sai was so upset, she gave up and said, ok i hope you can forgive him. So basically Ashwini is on no ones side. She understands both Sai and Virats pov but she is not the kind of person that will really be proactive enough to mediate between Sai and Virat because she usually just lets things happen.  Also we can assume that if she went to talk to virat alone, pp/bk will interrupt. 

I'm also gonna assume that Ashwini coming into room as virat was on phone about pulkit was to call him for dinner. And because they cut that scene abruptly we just have to assume that Ashwini maybe convinced virat to eat a little. 

Makes sense. But she should be the one to address this issue I feel

This content was originally posted by: kdokka

Ashwini's love for Sai, I feel, is restrictive/smothering. Love should set someone free. She has no control over her son, never mind the others. Why does she want Sai in this hell? She says/knows she has suffered in this house, why does she want Sai to suffer. 

Sai is not dependent on anyone, can stand on her own two feet and has resources to support herself (now, not previously). She does not need pagal niwas/Virat like how Ashwini needed pagal niwas to survive. 

All Ashwini does is taunt Pakhi, but clearly it is not having an effect simply because Ashwini herself has no place in the house. All-in-all, while Ashiwni's love for Sai is clear, she is sometimes a burden to Sai. She could not even reprimand her son when he threw Sai out of the house. 

Exactly! What's the use of taunts? Even she gets taunted in return. Think of the bigger issue na and she actually knows almost everything yet decides to stay silent 

This content was originally posted by: Shaome

Agree on the part Aai should talk to Virat to knock some sense into him. Pakhi would do what she can do anyway. It's her responsibility to sit down and explain everything the way pakhi is instigating both of them.  I believe she also should tell Sai not to get provoked by Pakhi always and focus on only their marriage. 

Ashwini I guess being a selfish mother who only wishes her sons happiness  .Because she knows Sai is the right girl for Virat. She is well aware of the fact Virat can't live without Sai. And she doesn't want a complicated life  for her son what she has been enduring.

I understand.  But nothing can happen just by wishing. One needs to action on it na

Hypocrisy at its best. Patriarchal mindset. Hesitation as it is looked at as a shameful topic to be discussed with son, due to opposite gender too. They are not people who would be even comfortable with sex education or who would be comfortable in imparting awareness in their kids like good touch or bad touch too. 

She was worried that Sai might leave the house because ultimately she doesn't want their marriage to get broken, she wants them to live together forever. 

 Sai not returning to the house has many consequences 

- people will start finding faults with Sai again, will question if she is even a suitable wife, will trouble Sai again

- she is worried that Virat shouldn't get upset or angry about it because that is what she has seen her husband doing, so she would be expecting that kind of an adverse reaction from Virat as well

- can create more rift or misunderstanding between Sai and Virat

- Sai and Virat will not get a chance to sort out their differences, so only if Sai returns is there even a chance for the two to solve their issues 

- both or either of them can give up on their relationship after the latest issue.

Virat has inherited a lot of qualities from his mom, to ignore things and focus only on what is needed to do. All they want is to maintain relationship, do whatever is possible to sustain it, make compromises or let go of some things but ensure that at the end, everyone stay together even if you or your loved one is unhappy about a few things. So Virat wouldn't be even willing to bend in a few things that might result in conflicts between two family members. Ashwini knows it well and so wants Sai to try and understand Virat, so that it doesn't affect their relationship. Virat has a big family and not Sai, so Ashwini would want Sai to understand 😣. 

Unfortunately Ashwini is the one who makes all compromises in her marital relationship, so she will expect Sai to and also she knows that Virat himself will make some compromises on his own. Virat does exactly this, he makes compromises in the house like his mom and also expects Sai to too. 

Ashwini would have tried to talk to Sai, tried to give some confidence to Sai or make Sai understand how Virat loves her and has no feelings for Pakhi whenever she gets a chance to speak to Sai in private. Also, loha garam hai, she knows that it wouldn't help even if she tries to talk to Sai about her feelings now. It could look like her justifying her son and she wouldn't want Sai to misunderstand her. She would want to give her some space but at the same time want her to forgive Virat because that is the only way Sai would return to their house. Only if Sai returns to the house, can those two spend time together and sort out their issue. 

This content was originally posted by: laksh

Hypocrisy at its best. Patriarchal mindset. Hesitation as it is looked at as a shameful topic to be discussed with son, due to opposite gender too. They are not people who would be even comfortable with sex education or who would be comfortable in imparting awareness in their kids like good touch or bad touch too. 

This! This is so problematic. And still they talk about grand children, planning kids and all openly  

She was worried that Sai might leave the house because ultimately she doesn't want their marriage to get broken, she wants them to live together forever. 

Yes, but at what cost? She herself suffered a lot in that house. Yes, she supports Sai but still Sai is facing a lot there. How long can Virat support(talking about earlier days)? They've taken 'take it one day at a time' too seriously

 Sai not returning to the house has many consequences 

- people will start finding faults with Sai again, will question if she is even a suitable wife, will trouble Sai again

- she is worried that Virat shouldn't get upset or angry about it because that is what she has seen her husband doing, so she would be expecting that kind of an adverse reaction from Virat as well

Which means either she doesn't know her son or she didnt teach him that it is wrong.. and then expect him not to behave like Ninad?

- can create more rift or misunderstanding between Sai and Virat

- Sai and Virat will not get a chance to sort out their differences, so only if Sai returns is there even a chance for the two to solve their issues 

- both or either of them can give up on their relationship after the latest issue.

Kind of agree with all the points. Its complicated. But my problem is, she always knew what sai feels about Virat and his friend. She also knows that Virat is falling in love with Sai. She knows that Sai doesnt want to come in between these two. Yet, she never addressed this. She didnt even hint to Virat about Sai's insecurities na? 

Virat has inherited a lot of qualities from his mom, to ignore things and focus only on what is needed to do. All they want is to maintain relationship, do whatever is possible to sustain it, make compromises or let go of some things but ensure that at the end, everyone stay together even if you or your loved one is unhappy about a few things. So Virat wouldn't be even willing to bend in a few things that might result in conflicts between two family members. Ashwini knows it well and so wants Sai to try and understand Virat, so that it doesn't affect their relationship. Virat has a big family and not Sai, so Ashwini would want Sai to understand 😣. 

This is completely opposite to the joint families I have seen. Even my mom's brothers stay together but all of them respect each other and their privacy. It's like, since I am adjusting, my wife, who is an extension of me should adjust with me kind of mentality. 

Again, Sai isnt Ninad that she can say hanji hanji for everything. And this big family crap ah! Criminal family, I dont even want to talk about them! 

But just to add in, does anyone, anyone of them ever tried to understand Virat, her own son? Why make her son and DIL scapegoats just to satisfy elders ego?

Unfortunately Ashwini is the one who makes all compromises in her marital relationship, so she will expect Sai to and also she knows that Virat himself will make some compromises on his own. Virat does exactly this, he makes compromises in the house like his mom and also expects Sai to too. 

She should know that Sai-Virat are not like herself and Ninad. Cant she see what such compromises did to her marital relationship? So why expect the same from her children? If u ask me, as a mother, she shouldn't let Virat compromise too. Sai ka compromise toh dooor ki baat hai

Ashwini would have tried to talk to Sai, tried to give some confidence to Sai or make Sai understand how Virat loves her and has no feelings for Pakhi whenever she gets a chance to speak to Sai in private. Also, loha garam hai, she knows that it wouldn't help even if she tries to talk to Sai about her feelings now. It could look like her justifying her son and she wouldn't want Sai to misunderstand her. She would want to give her some space but at the same time want her to forgive Virat because that is the only way Sai would return to their house. Only if Sai returns to the house, can those two spend time together and sort out their issue. 

Yes, now is not the right time. But she did let go of many right times.

 

Is it just this show or have you seen in real life where people behave like this? I mean patriarchy and all I understand, but if Ashwini had a daughter, would she be ok with all this happening to her? Maybe yes. 

Anyway, regarding Virat's food, I'll assume that Virat maintains stock of snacks with him in his room and he had them along with medicine. That's why no one's worried about him and are only worried about chaheeti bahu

This content was originally posted by: Optimist_d

Is it just this show or have you seen in real life where people behave like this? I mean patriarchy and all I understand, but if Ashwini had a daughter, would she be ok with all this happening to her? Maybe yes. 

Anyway, regarding Virat's food, I'll assume that Virat maintains stock of snacks with him in his room and he had them along with medicine. That's why no one's worried about him and are only worried about chaheeti bahu

Will reply to other things later but can I ask if Virst has ever cared to check if Ashwini had her food when Ashwini gets upset? I don't think it is right to hold Ashwini responsible for everything. Virat didn't check if Sai returned from the college or not too. He didn't even know until he asked Kaku, he was lost in his own misery. 

As Neeraja says may be she had come to call him for dinner and that is why she could immediately rush to his room when he shouted. They are probably not showing us all scenes like may be Ashwini askin him for food earlier too? It is not like Ashwini doesn't care about her son, it was her who raise him all these years giving him so much of love. 

My parents did a few things but there are things that I learnt when I went to school, when I went to university and also when I started to work. Don't think Ashwini is supposed to be responsible for everything. In general, that is what I always say. Parents should provide for kids, care for them and kids also has responsibilities towards their parents. But I have seen one way road in this always sadly which I disagree with. Irrespective of whether Virat is not well or not, he would have been the same as now. 

Ashwini hasn't spoken to Virat doesn't mean that Virat shouldn't realise it. It is a little difficult for me to digest that Virat never can connect the dots and always need people to make him to think. The position that he is in, in his career one would have expected some alertness and smartness which he lacks. I am sorry but I do not agree with Ashwini being held responsible for or questioned for all of these. He should use his own brains once in a while atleast. 

Ashwini has been in a much worse position than Virat and is still surviving, however bad qualities she has with no proper education or support. Virat is not able to survive without anyone's support? Ashwini even used to take care of Devi. Her mindset was such that she was comfortable talkin to Sai and not Virat about Pakhi. Also, if Virat had shared about his past to her, she wouldn't have hesitated but he has never done that. Pakhi openly shows her love and tries to cross her lines which she knows Virat wouldn't, so she has been warning Pakhi whenever she has seen her doing it. If Virat opens up to her about Pakhi, she will definitely put sense into him. 

Yes, but at what cost? She herself suffered a lot in that house. Yes, she supports Sai but still Sai is facing a lot there. How long can Virat support(talking about earlier days)? They've taken 'take it one day at a time' too seriously

Didn't catch that. 

- she is worried that Virat shouldn't get upset or angry about it because that is what she has seen her husband doing, so she would be expecting that kind of an adverse reaction from Virat as well

Which means either she doesn't know her son or she didnt teach him that it is wrong.. and then expect him not to behave like Ninad?

She has seen him acting outrageously a couple of times in the past with Sai. Virat has been extremely angry with Sai on the day of Amay's incident, on the day of PD lunch incident and the latest being the ousting. Is it not enough to know how angry he can also get? 

nd of agree with all the points. Its complicated. But my problem is, she always knew what sai feels about Virat and his friend. She also knows that Virat is falling in love with Sai. She knows that Sai doesnt want to come in between these two. Yet, she never addressed this. She didnt even hint to Virat about Sai's insecurities na? 

I think she felt that Sai needed a push but Virat was anyway falling for Sai. She felt that they both started to feel for each other and may be wanted things to fall place naturally, amongst the two? She has spoken about Sai because Sai has said she wants to leave the house. Some matters should be left to happen naturally, that is why I was against her even probing Sai but I guess she did that because she thought Sai has no one for her. She knows Virat has friends like Sunny but not Sai.

She should know that Sai-Virat are not like herself and Ninad. Cant she see what such compromises did to her marital relationship? So why expect the same from her children? If u ask me, as a mother, she shouldn't let Virat compromise too. Sai ka compromise toh dooor ki baat hai

Only because of what she has done, Virat has atleast been able to become an IPS officer in the house. Yes, she was weak but she ensured that he gets educated, gets independent. Kids will also have to learn other things while they are getting educated. Don't think Ashwini would have known that she has to keep pushing Virat even after he bas become an adult. She has taught him right and wrong, taught him a certain things, coming out of certain things should be his part too, she didn't chain him up. 

She never failed as a mother, he can learn from her and can also always learn from the awareness that he gets once he starts to study or work. She can make him stay back, revolting is something he should have done. She can ask him to let it go, standing up for himself or his mom should have come from within him. 

I have seen people, even girls who have been in a worser position than Virat come out of the chain or this kind of a set up much earlier in their life. It should come from within us ultimately. 

This content was originally posted by: laksh

Will reply to other things later but can I ask if Virst has ever cared to check if Ashwini had her food when Ashwini gets upset? I don't think it is right to hold Ashwini responsible for everything. Virat didn't check if Sai returned from the college or not too. He didn't even know until he asked Kaku, he was lost in his own misery. 

I always had this problem that Virat didnt bother much about his mother. As a son, as an IPS officer, he can sense what's happening. But never did he try to talk to her about her problems. I'm not holding her responsible for everything, but she is the only one who is sane there. She is the only one who can put some sense into her son and even help her DIL. I'm just trying to understand what's stopping her from doing few things. 

I skipped the part u are talking about. Maybe that's why I didnt bring it up. But I always have issue with the way he gets lost keeping everything aside. Even during PD lunch issue, the whole thing started because he worries for her safety. But once she left, did he even try to know how/where she went? Did she reach safely or not? 

But when Ashwini explained to him, he understood his fault. Not like she should explain him always, but there are few things where parents can intervene I feel. 

As Neeraja says may be she had come to call him for dinner and that is why she could immediately rush to his room when he shouted. They are probably not showing us all scenes like may be Ashwini askin him for food earlier too? It is not like Ashwini doesn't care about her son, it was her who raise him all these years giving him so much of love. 

I didn't blame her alone here but the whole family. The way they made this such an issue that Pakhi didnt eat anything and conveniently forgetting that Virat didnt eat too. 

My parents did a few things but there are things that I learnt when I went to school, when I went to university and also when I started to work. Don't think Ashwini is supposed to be responsible for everything. In general, that is what I always say. Parents should provide for kids, care for them and kids also has responsibilities towards their parents. But I have seen one way road in this always sadly which I disagree with. Irrespective of whether Virat is not well or not, he would have been the same as now.

I'm not blaming Ashwini, I'm just trying to understand. If i sounded rude, I'm sorry.

Even I have learnt a lot of things from my college/office/friends. Me and my mom discuss all such things openly. Even my brother points out to my mom if he feels she's wrong. Yes, arguments happen and thats how we learn. But here, it's all about compromising and being silent to whatever happens, most of the times. I'm not talking just about today but from overall observation. I love aai-Virat/aai-Sai bond. For me, she's the only elder who can help them. So at times, I see things from that perspective too. 

 

Ashwini hasn't spoken to Virat doesn't mean that Virat shouldn't realise it. It is a little difficult for me to digest that Virat never can connect the dots and always need people to make him to think. The position that he is in, in his career one would have expected some alertness and smartness which he lacks. I am sorry but I do not agree with Ashwini being held responsible for or questioned for all of these. He should use his own brains once in a while atleast. 

I dont treat him as an IPS officer anymore. So I dont even think from that perspective. I understand him, I try to know his feelings and all doesn't mean I'm ok with everything he does. 

I didn't understand what you are referring to here by stating that Ashwini is being help responsible.  

Ashwini has been in a much worse position than Virat and is still surviving, however bad qualities she has with no proper education or support. Virat is not able to survive without anyone's support? Ashwini even used to take care of Devi. Her mindset was such that she was comfortable talkin to Sai and not Virat about Pakhi. Also, if Virat had shared about his past to her, she wouldn't have hesitated but he has never done that. Pakhi openly shows her love and tries to cross her lines which she knows Virat wouldn't, so she has been warning Pakhi whenever she has seen her doing it. If Virat opens up to her about Pakhi, she will definitely put sense into him. 

Ashwini has been in a much more worse situation. That's why I dont understand why does she want Sai to stay the same way without Virat's proper support. Yes, Sai can take stand for herself but why should she face all the taunts of that family to stay there? Both Ashwini and Virat should realize this. Ashwini more because she faced that in that home and can see the same thing happening to Sai as well.  So her aai, I want her to talk to Virat, not just as Virat's aai. 

Also , Ashwini did join dots that Pakhi is the reason why Virat was sad during Samrat's wedding. Ever since she got to know the truth, she wanted to talk to him. But since he's married, she kept it aside. But I really wanted her to talk about this. I dont remember when or which scene, but I did feel that she should talk to both sai and Virat about this. 

This is an amazing post. I was wondering the same. Why can't she talk to Virat in private instead of asking Sai to understand Virat. She knows what Sai thinks of P and V,  so why not open her mouth and speak to Virat for a change? It's a complete waste of a character who has so much information about how Sai and Virat feel. The writes really waste characters like Aai, Mohit, Shivani , reduce their screen space and give all the extra screen space to Pakhi which is unnecessary and does not move the story forward.