Analysis on waada confrontation - part 2 - Page 5

This content was originally posted by-nethraa_99

Beautiful analysis with lots of very valid and detailed analysis❤️.

//I am not sure how many Chavans are out there in real life, how many Paakhi's are there but if there are, people like only Sai can survive amidst them who has good values, principles. //

This is actually 100% true. I know we analyse how Sai could be a little less confrontational. While this may be useful in a normal or slightly crazy joint family, it is of no significance in a vile family like Chavans. Any diplomacy will only only be taken as a sign of weakness and an encouragement to control. Only other person who could have survived there was another Bhavani. So while all the analysis and advice on being less confrontational looks good on paper, truth is "laaton ke bhooth baaton se nahi maante".

@blue exactly 

Some of the problems with Virat's response ...

When Sai was accused of driving Virat out of their bedroom, he didn't clarify.

When Ashwini asked him what the issue was, he could have lived that they had a fight but they sorted it. No matter it was his mother he was responding to,  how could he say these personal things in front of the whole family? 

Something even I failed to understand but I think it was more or like him expecting his mom to tell her to not be angry with him and not exactly discuss about the issue.  Because when she actually asked him to let the family know why they fought the previous night, he wasn't comfortable. I think he expected his mom to tell Sai to listen to him or sit with him and sort the differences. 

And then the comment about learning to live together without trying to understand what exactly happened. Was it that difficult to ask his mother? He knows how Pakhi always tries to instigate the family against Sai.

That is why I had concluded saying Virat actually doesn't pay much of an attention to how much all of these are affecting Sai. He was a little okay until she brought up the topic of their fight from the previous night. 

The way I see it Virat has expectations from Sai since she is his wife. As I have said, he expects that Sai lets it go even if Pakhi does something. Also Sai asked her a question like "toh aap Virat sir par nazar rakthi hai". He knows Pakhi instigates Sai but I have always had a doubt if Virat is also being judgmental when it comes to Sai. Sometimes he tries to decipher it from Sai's expressions as what went wrong but when Sai retorts or give such strong comebacks, I guess he stops thinking who started it or who instigated. He only thinks that Sai would have lost her temper, Sai wouldn't have let it go, Sai would have fought with her. 

This is exactly why I was very very upset with him during the skit episodes. Because I always had a doubt if Virat has such an opinion about Sai and if that is why he behaves in a certain way, it was proved that day. I really was very disappointed with him. He said that Sai doesn't like Pakhi. Some felt that they didn't find that statement wrong but I did because it is this thought that stops him from empathising with Sai like how one should. It is this thought because of which he actually doesnt take a strong stand for Sai against Pakhi.

He knows and acknowledged during the Mohit's lunch issue that Pakhi is the one who starts all the problems. She is the one who pokes Sai. He knew that she always taunts Sai and doesn't behave with Sai like how she behaves with the rest of the family. Shouldn't Virat think that it is because of Pakhi that Sai actually reacts that way. Sai wouldn't dislike Pakhi, I would even now say that Sai actually doesn't dislike Pakhi, she is upset with Pakhi, disturbed with her, affected by her because of Pakhi's behavior towards her. She only has issues with Pakhi's behavior and actions towards her. She has issues with Pakhi interfering in her life and also the personal life between her and her husband Virat. I think you might know that there can be people who can be disturbed by actions of someone, they need not be disliking them. Virat is thinking it from a wrong direction. Had he thought that a girl like Sai wouldn't dislike anyone as such, he will be able to look at things from Sai's position.

The minute he thinks that Sai dislikes Pakhi, he will be made to think that many of Sai's actions are not just are results of Pakhi poking her or instigating her, it is also because of Sai disliking Pakhi.

Hence, when she spoke to Pakhi, he wouldn't have thought if Pakhi did anything really bad for Sai to speak that way. He would think that Sai lost her cool and in her anger spoke that way to Pakhi crossing all her limits with Pakhi. 

As I have said, speaking anything bitter to another family member will only worsen things and that is the mindset Virat has and that is why he felt that his Aai knocks some sense into Sai as not to speak that way. 

1. He is judgmental

2. His mindset that for family's peace, Sai shouldn't get into any kind of arguments or fights and should ignore it

I am not sure if I made any sense above 🙈 or could communicate what I wanted to. 

I believe that up till this point, Sai had no plans to reveal the vaada part. Her instinct might have been to question Pakhi left, right and centre. I feel it was Virat's public blaming of Sai that drove Sai to a "damn all" attitude.

//"Sabko lagta hai ki mein aapke saath galat kar rahi hoon. Lekin sabko asli kahaani nahi pata na, sabko batayiye ki yahaan kya hua tha. Aapka aur mera kal raath ko khagda kyun hua tha"

Virat didn't like Sai's questions, he doesn't approve of speaking those in the living room in front of everyone.//

But didn't he do the something  similar a few moments back? Publicly blame Sai for their personal matter?

I have been calling him a hypocrite for sometime now. All I can see in Virat is double standards these days that too very often. 

Also, that is why I said Raja Babu Avatar, he was acting like some child who was complaining about Sai to his mom without understanding the gravity of the situation. 

Does he think of it as a public blame? This blame is okay for him but the revelation of the reason behind their fight is more personal. 

That could mean a lot to him and he feels that it shouldn't be spoken in front of others. Unfortunately, he fails to understand that speaking  "Maine bahut koshish ki yeh samajhne ke liye tayyar nahi. Pata nahi kya kya galat faimiyaan paalke rakha hai" is also like letting down Sai. To him, it looks so normal to talk that way, he clearly didn't think once that it could offend or upset Sai. 

I have said again and again, he fails to understand Sai's hurt or pain and it is highly disappointing especially when he claims that he loves her. 

Then for 5 minutes, the Chavans were insulting and accusing Sai, and he didn't in all this time, he did not try to diffuse the situation?

At that point in time, Sai had not revealed anything about Virakhi past. So his behaviour of staying mum in the face of Sai's humiliation cannot be attributed to being overwhelmed with his emotions. 

No, not at all. The minute Sai told Omi, aap log mujhe jitni taane maarna hai maar lo, isse sacchai nahi badalti, he took offense. He got upset that she had misunderstood something and that is why was saying sacchai nahi badalti. Yes, she doesn't know the entire truth, she doesn't know what he spoke to Pakhi in his room after he returned from Gc or many other times too but does that mean that he should get drowned in his hurt that he will not speak anything against anyone? He does that. 

And then, the icing on the cake. He chose to gauge Sai's feelings when Pakhi was humiliating Sai? Given his insecurities, and his tendency to be self-absorbed due to them, I would have even believed it if it happened during the early days of starting to expect something from his marriage. But now, after all that they have been through, the closeness they have developed? Who does that? 

That's because Sai has been telling that she will leave the house. He knows how determined she is to leave the house after he gets alright. He himself was confused as why she was upset, what was it that she heard that she is upset and on top of it when Sonali Kaku asked Sai tum toh deal deal kehthi ho tumhe kyun farak padta hai, he also started to get curious. He also wanted answers for that. Both of them never realised the implications of them getting close to each other when one had not addressed the deal part and when the other kept telling that she will leave the house. As Sai said, she had forgotten the deal part after she returned to CN, she also kept telling she will leave the house more as a reminder to herself and I think it was also because she wasn't sure of their future. Sai was initially dependent on him, she had planned to move to hostel long back but he stooped her and at that time she let it go but after her ousting, she anyway had arranged a place for her to live, she started to live there, wasn't dependent on him, has no reasons to stay back even if her heart wants to. She hesitated to move in because of his family, because she probably lost trust on him when he had hurt her self respect. Also, when she freed him of her responsibility, what reasons does she have to stay back. Even if he wants her to, she knows that his family wouldn't be able to understand the need of it. It is mainly because his family doesn't accept her, that she was unsure of staying back. 

But her changed feelings or should I say feelings that were buried within her for him surfaced after his gun shot and it is because of those emotions, she got hurt when she saw both of them at the pool. He was so absorbed in his thoughts, in his motive behind finding out some answers that he stood hearing what Pakhi was telling her. 

For a minute it looked like him telling "see this is why you shouldnt have told anyone that you are here only to take care of me, you will be here only until I recover". It looked to me for a minute saying "you answer her". I felt very upset but I am not sure if that could be true. If that is true, then it is even more horrible. It is like he was thinking this way in addition to him trying to understand why she was affected so much. 

Overall, his reactions during the whole confrontation was as disappointing as it was ridiculous. 

It was.

Coming to the vaada....

Virat is very bad when it comes to straight talk. Putting aside contradicting events, Virat believes Sai cares a lot about him but neither does she have any feelings for him nor is she contemplating any relationship beyond the deal. So, the need to clear the vaada doesn't even arise in his mind. He is more worried that any galat famiyaan may close the possibility of anything more than a deal in case he decided to express a wish for a normal marriage. That is how he is wired. My question is if Sai had told him what she had heard, what would have been his response?

Exactly, Virat has never given it a thought that waada is what is stopping Sai. He used to think that she doesn't have feelings but he noticed some changes right before holi. And he had become a little more confident after she came to meet him at the hospital, after he saw her care and concern for him, after he felt that she felt possessive. 

He would have tried to clear if she had misunderstood anything. I am not sure how clearly he would have spoken anything or how successful he would have been to clear the misunderstanding 🤣🤣.

 Pakhi spoke a lot of things and he wants to know if Sai thought he has feelings for Pakhi or Sai thinks if he has cheated Pakhi like how Pakhi accused him. I was about to write one more post, will tag you in it when I write. What if Sai had heard Pakhi telling that he loves his wife.  He also wants to know if that is pushing Sai away by any chance. 

 He was anyway planning to confess his feelings, I think he might have thought that him confessing his feelings will be enough for her to believe that Pakhi doesn't mean anything other than his brother's wife or a friend to him anymore. But looking at Sai's reaction, he is worried that it has got complicated. 

A  general question...

Virat expects Sai to ignore all the insults hurled at her just as his mother has been doing. I'm curious as to why SaiRat have never had a fight over it. I would have expected a wife to be livid with her husband for being quiet when she is being insulted. But Sai never fights with him over this? Is it because theirs is a deal marriage and she does not believe she has any right to question him on this as a wife. As a gaurdian, he is not really obliged to stand up for her, but as a wife, he will be expected to do so. For many people, and especially for Virat, there is no motivation to change the status quo unless the aggrieved party calls them out particularly, and demands justice. So far, Sai has been pretty tolerant of his double standards. When SaiRat become a normal couple, will Sai express her anger at his silence? And if she does, will he be forced to change?

@bold Yes. She didn't think that she can expect from him. She even said that "maine aapse aaj tak aisi koi umeed nahi rakhi jo ek pati se rakthe hain" or something of that sort. Actually I wouldn't say that she was tolerant of his double standards, that has also resulted in her getting hurt, her feeling insecured. She has not got that confidence from him. 

Having said these I have two more theories

 She knows him and the family he grew up in. She knows his mindset. She has heard bua telling kharbooja kharbooja ko dekhkar rang badalta hai. She knows his nature, knows that he wouldn't be able to speak against Kaku. She has been noticing it since her Grihapravesh that he is a very obedient Son, that he wouldn't speak against the elders of the family. She also knows his expectations from her. Sometimes she agrees and does it to not add problems to him and sometimes she will react, tell it straight on his face as what else can be expected from her. Also, Sai is not a person who would actually expect someone to support her or help her. Even if she expects that without her own knowledge like she did when Pakhi used the word Nurse, she will feel let down, hurt but not tell him. 

One could be because she doesn't want to exercise her rights as a wife, how can she ask him why didn't he stand up for her and with what rights. Another because she wouldn't want to make herself look weak. She wouldn't want to show her vulnerable side to anyone. She fights on her own, might expect support sometimes and even if they dont don't will get affected, hurt but will try to swallow the pain rather than accepting or expressing her hurt. I think it is her survival method. I think it is to hide the fact that even she needed someone to stand up for her and she couldn't fight all alone. The minute she accepts defeat, people can attack her knowing that she can also get weak.

You know I was thinking of this when I watched the scene where Pakhi immediately seeked Virat's support saying his wife was insulting him and he wasn't asking her anything but standing quiet whereas Sai was humiliated, was being called a liar, accused of having cheap thoughts to have spoken the truth, was actually let down by her own husband but even then the girl never asked him any questions like how Pakhi did.

The accused was acting like a victim and the victim was standing so strong and walked out with her head held high. 

I am not sure if Sai will ask him after they become a normal couple, she might express her disappointment, her hurt to him I guess. She will ask him how he could do that or might express it by bursting out after a few incidents I think.

Have tried to answer, not sure how much it has helped. 

This content was originally posted by-nethraa_99

This brought back the discussion that we had some time back regarding Virat's characterization - whether this is what he is or his character has been made weaker/inconsistent to facilitate the plot. Let me reiterate that Virat is often a confusing blackbox for me. My question is a genuine attempt at trying to understand his characterization.

@bold I know. I didn't mean to offend you in the EDT. What happens is whenever Virat goes wrong, I have been hearing that his character is getting butchered as I had already mentioned in the EDT too and that is why I let you know. I am very glad that you are genuinely trying to understand his character rather than just attributing all his negative actions as character butchering. I have always noted that you have tried to understand various aspects and I really appreciate that. It is think kind of an exchange that makes the discussion really interesting. It makes us think and it is like solving a puzzle 😆. 

I have listed below a few of Virat's responses to Chavan-Sai conflict...

Soon after marriage: He was unhappy with Sai being subjected to insults. Gave her full liberty to defend herself.

The ceremony after marriage: Virat stops his mother from being made to fall at Bhavani's feet.

Reception: He spoke against Bhavani insulting Kamal sir and supported Sai

I am not sure if it was the ACP Virat Chavan who did all this. He had just returned from GC, returned from his work, he was really very confident. One could see confidence in him those days. In general, a person really acts very confident when they are independent, when they go to work, when they accomplish something. Also, when a person shoulders a responsibility, they act even more confident. I guess all of these gave some confidence to Virat and that is why he was different back then?

Also, only if he is strong, will he even be able to stand against these people and make Sai live with him in their house. He knows how important it is for him for first let them let her stay in their house. So he had to do what he should be so that he can keep the promise made to Kamal. 

Before Sai's DIG visit: Whole family was against Sai going out, but Virat told her no one would stop her from going - she just and to inform where she was going. There was a quiet authority in his voice.

At that period of time, Sai was his responsibility, she was Kamal sir's daughter for him. It was like he had to maintain some image too in front of Sai, the daughter of Kamal Joshi. He was being conscious too. He started to feel something by missing her in his room when she slept at UMs room but he just put those thoughts away. Another reason why he was a little conscious.

After Sai's DIG visit: Stopped  accusations against Sai by revealing the truth to the family - making sure Sai was present when he spoke.

He was delighted and happy with Sai. He was thankful for what she did, just like how he felt thankful after Sai returned home that she got his sister married. 

Medical College admission: Firm in his decision

That was why he even married her in first place. He knows that is Sai's dream and her father's dream too. That was the responsibility that he had taken. 

Chili grinding: very weak in his protest

To avoid conflicts, they had a conflict even before this, when they returned home after Sai's admission. He had come to know that there is no use in fighting with them since he has been hearing all their comments for sometime now. He felt defeated explaining anything anymore to them. Also, dropping her at the college was his priority. 

Sai shows Chavans the mirror (Amey's wife visit): Supported Sai

He felt proud of Sai, felt bad for his bua and was shocked at his family's attitude towards his bua. They started to blame his bua, called her characterless. He knows his family's thought process, didn't approve of it. 

Most important thing he had come home in a good mood to spend some time with Sai. He was looking forward to have dinner with her. He had started to develop some thing for her. 

Next morning after fight (flirting with Amey): Asked Sai to apologize to Chavans - it was a projection of his feelings

Yes, was due to his possessiveness. 

Sai denied food by Bhavani: Called out Bhavani

Sai wasn't at fault and when he entered he could see her hurt. 

Pakhi chilli grinding: Quietly supported Sai until things went too far

Mohit food denial by Bhavani: Called out Bhavani and Pakhi

In between all this, he generally kept mum while Sai was called names and spoken insultingly

He only speaks when he thinks it is necessary or when they cross the line as per his set threshold. He has some tolerance and patience and he had extended the same during Sai's humiliation too. 

Mahashivratri: Took a strong stand regarding Sai. But response to Ninad's attempt to slap Sai was pretty thanda.

Only so that they don't send Sai out of the house. Also, things were going on fine between him and Sai. They had just sorted out their issues the previous night. He had already managed to stop Sai from leaving the house with great difficulty. So, he would be even more careful as to what he was doing wrt Sai. 

The thanda response is how much he would do in such cases. I think it could also be because he is his Dad. He can call out on Kaku a little more sternly than his Dad I think. Probably due to their family set up? His Dad always dominated his mom and his mom would fear his Dad. Those things are stopping him from acting more sternly with his Dad? 

Also, then the topic got diverted to Pulkit and he was shocked when the truth was revealed. Whatever support he extended even then was also because things were going on smooth between him and Sai. 

He would have stopped his Dad from slapping even if he and Sai weren't in good terms. I meant the support for Devi Tai and supporting Sai calling Pulkit home was because things were already smooth between him and Sai.

Ladakh trip: Supported Sai when she wasn't there. But when Sai was being humiliated, couldn't protect Sai or diffuse the situation.

Again, things were going smooth between him and Sai before Sai entered the living room. He is generally not good at handling issues or fights. He never expected Pakhi to react that way. Things were going out of hands. He couldn't handle it, take the pressure so started to act a victim saying donon milkar mera gala kaat dena. Basically, he wants things to go smooth always and if it goes against what he had expected, he doesn't have clue how to tackle. 

t even going into PD lunch and Sai's ousting

Returning home from hospital: Took a stand for Sai

He wanted Sai to stay back with him at CN. Sai already didnt want to come home, he had to do something to ensure they don't drive her out of the house. And now, he has realised that he has feelings for her, he wants her to be with him. 

Vaada reveal by Sai : Ridiculous and pathetic

What do I make out of all this? Why does his ability to take a stand was and wane? Especially, the contrast between the earlier and later episodes is significant? Isn't this inconsistency in characterization? 

To see him stand mum for 3 episodes while Sai was being humiliated so badly made me so angry - especially considering what SaiRat have been through and how he has started developing feelings for Sai. I don't know if this is what he is supposed to be or the writers have slowly butchered him. Either way, it is not interesting to watch a protagonist being so weak - and I hate the makers for it. 

From what I have written above, please let me know what could you make out.

From what I understand, Virat wants a smooth and happy life. He is not comfortable to tackle any issues. He doesn't want to be put in a position where he has to choose one person - his wife or his family. When things go fine between him and Sai, he tries to ensure that it doesn't get spoilt. When things was already not right between them, he doesn't take as much efforts as he would take otherwise. He wants Sai but would do only what is in his ability, can do things to stand up for her but not fight against them for her. Him standing up for her during MS day is entirely different from the wada reveal or other fights. Sometimes his judgmental attitude, his opinion about Sai, her temper, her impulsiveness takes over his sense of judgement. He fails to look at things from Sai's pov. From the look of it, he has been taking her for granted too. If they are against her, if she is a victim in all sense, he will be able to do something about it. If she is against them, if she raises her voice, if she stands up for herself, does something which none of the family members would do even if it is right, he fails to justify Sai's actions, fails to fight against his family for Sai. He wants her to follow and respect the practices and tradition of the house, expects her to compromise like how he does. Things turn worse if she is already upset with him or not talking to him. Not just his insecurity takes over him, he starts to think about himself at that point of time and not Sai. During times like this, he doesn't see or treat Sai as his team, doesn't look at them as one, he ends up moving to the opposite side as that of Sai.

Didn't Ashwini ask him if he and Sai were on different sides? When there are issues between them, he keeps her at the other side and that is when he fails.

During chilly kaand, MS, after returning from DIG office, during rasams, during their reception, after returning from hospital, even during Mohit food denial, he considered Sai to be on his side, he looked at them as one, as a team and was ensuring that their relation doesn't break, ensured that the team doesn't collapse. But when he looks at her being the other side, he doesn't put as much effort as he puts when he does when he puts when he thinks considers her to be in the same side as that of hers. Sometimes that is why it even looks like, he is not looking beyond himself.

If he is happy, it is fine, if things are going smooth, it is fine, if things goes as per the rules of the house and as per his liking, it is fine, otherwise he starts to react in an unpredictable way depending on the situation in hand. 

Just my understanding, need not be true, would love to hear your comments on these.  

This content was originally posted by-laksh

@bold Yes. She didn't think that she can expect from him. She even said that "maine aapse aaj tak aisi koi umeed nahi rakhi jo ek pati se rakthe hain" or something of that sort. Actually I wouldn't say that she was tolerant of his double standards, that has also resulted in some her getting hurt, her feeling insecured. She has not got that confidence from him. 

Having said these I have two more theories

 She knows him and the family he grew up in. She knows his mindset. She has heard bua telling kharbooja kharbooja ko dekhkar rang badalta hai. She knows his nature, knows that he wouldn't be able to speak against Kaku. She has been noticing it since her Grihapravesh that he is a very obedient Son, that he wouldn't speak against the elders of the family. She also knows his expectations from her. Sometimes she agrees and does it to not add problems to him and sometimes she will react and tell it straight on his face as what else can be expected from her. Also, Sai is not a person who would actually expect someone to support her or help her. Even if she expects that without her own knowledge like she did when Pakhi used the word Nurse, she will feel let down, hurt but not tell him. 

One could be because she doesn't want to exercise her rights as a wife, how can she ask him why didn't he stand up for her, with what rights. Another because she wouldn't want to make herself look weak. She wouldn't want to show her vulnerable side to anyone. She fights on her own, might expect support sometimes and even if they dont don't will get affected hurt but will try to swallow the pain rather than accepting or expressing her hurt. I think it is her survival method. I think it is to hide the fact that even she needed someone to stand up for her and she couldn't fight all alone. The minute she accepts defeat, people can attack her knowing that she can also get weak.

You know I was thinking of this when I watched the scene where Pakhi immediately seeked Virat's support saying his wife was insultin him and he wasn't asking her anything but standing quiet whereas Sai was humiliated, was being called a liar, accused of having cheap thoughts to have spoken the truth, was actually let down by her own husband but even then the girl never asked him any questions like how Pakhi did.

The accused was acting like a victim and the victim was standing so strong and with walked out with her head held high. 

I am not sure if Sai will ask him after they become a normal couple, she might express her disappointments, her hurt to him I guess. She will ask him how he could do that or might express it by bursting out after a few incidents I think.

Have tried to answer, not sure how much it has helped. 

Great answers ! Thank you ❤️

Actually, even I was not upset at Virat wishing that Sai doesn't talk back to Pakhi - ONLY because of the circumstances. It was crucial (given the enormity of the situation) that there is no argument. But given his reactions during the vaada reveal, I guess he hasn't changed at all. Which is why it is necessary that Sai fights with him and shows him the mirror over his double standards. I too felt that somewhere Sai understands that it is the way he has been brought up. But one cannot be too understanding sometimes - unless she takes a stand that she will not tolerate his silence or his double standards, Virat will not change. Or even then he may not change. I'm pretty sure this change will not be shown. Instead, they will resolve this issue by slowly making everyone to be on team Sai (I wish life was that simple). And I'm not excited. 

@bold I liked your take on Sai's survival method.

Virat is truly too self-absorbed to be able to understand Sai's feelings. He is actually very immature. In addition, dude has a tendency to wallow in self-pity. I wonder if his self-absorption comes from his feelings of inadequacy - after all he grew up in an environment where there was no validation or positive re-enforcement of self-esteem. His relationship with  Sai is actually a god given gift for him - to heal and be happy. But his feelings of insecurity and inadequacy is ruining his own happiness. Hopefully he has let go of his ego atleast. Seems like a long, challenging road ahead for SaiRat. 

Regarding the reply on Virat, I read it and I think I'm seeing a pattern. Will gather my thoughts and write a reply.

Actually I wasn't offended with you in the EDT thread. It's just that expressing oneself in the forum has become too much like walking on eggshells lately - so I feel it is better to clarify my stand or put out a disclaimer.

My comment on whether Virat was being deliberately butchered came from having burnt my finger once - following a show as passionately as I follow Ghum. In that, ML was butchered just to increase his wife's suffering and to glorify his egoistic mother. I have heard other shows too where same thing has happened. So I'm always apprehensive about ITV.

This content was originally posted by-laksh

From what I have written above, please let me know what could you make out.

From what I understand, Virat wants a smooth and happy life. He is not comfortable to tackle any issues. He doesn't want to be put in a position where he has to choose one person - his wife or his family.

When things go fine between him and Sai, he tries to ensure that it doesn't get spoilt. When things was already not right between them, he doesn't take as much efforts as he would take otherwise. He wants Sai but would do only what is in his ability, can do things to stand up for her but not fight against them for her.  Him standing up for her during MS day is entirely different from the wada reveal or other fights. Sometimes his judgmental attitude, his opinion about Sai, her temper, her impulsiveness takes over his sense of judgement. He fails to look at things from Sai's pov. From the look of it, he has been taking her for granted too. If they are against her, if she is a victim in all sense, he will be able to do something about it.

 If she is against them, if she raises her voice, if she stands up for herself, does something which none of the family members would do even if it is right, he fails to justify Sai's actions, fails to fight against his family for Sai. He wants her to follow and respect the practices and tradition of the house, expects her to compromise like how he does. Things turn worse if she is already upset with him or not talking to him. Not just his insecurity takes over him, he starts to think about himself at that point of time and not Sai. During times like this, he doesn't see or treat Sai as his team, doesn't look at them as one, he ends up moving to the opposite side as that of Sai.

Didn't Ashwini ask him if he and Sai were on different sides? When there are issues between them, he keeps her at the other side and that is when he fails.

During chilly kaand, MS, after returning from DIG office, during rasams, during their reception, after returning from hospital, even during Mohit food denial, he considered Sai to be on his side, he looked at them as one, as a team and was ensuring that their relation doesn't break, ensured that the team doesn't collapse. But when he looks at her being the other side, he doesn't put as much effort as he puts when he does when he puts when he thinks considers her to be in the same side as that of hers. Sometimes that is why it even looks like, he is not looking beyond himself.

If he is happy, it is fine, if things are going smooth, it is fine, if things goes as per the rules of the house and as per his liking, it is fine, otherwise he starts to react in an unpredictable way depending on the situation in hand. 

Just my understanding, need not be true, would love to hear your comments on these.  

I too love to read different POVs. It is like putting together a jigsaw puzzle isn't it? 

Reading your analysis has certainly highlighted a pattern.❤️

One way I would like to look at it is - as IPS Virat and as husband Virat. Virat prides himself on his sense of duty as well as on his pakki zubaan. In the initial days of his marriage, he looked upon Sai as his responsibility (atleast that's what he told himself). So ensuring that Sai was treated with fairness was part of his duty. And he felt no conflict of emotions then - it was duty vs family. And he found strength and consolation in choosing his duty.

Problem started when he started considering her as more than just a responsibility. His emotions came into the picture then. On one hand, he wanted Sai to be accepted by his family and on the other hand, wanted Sai to continue living in CN amidst all the challenges that were being thrown at her. He didn't handle this conflict of interest well. 

//From what I understand, Virat wants a smooth and happy life. He is not comfortable to tackle any issues. He doesn't want to be put in a position where he has to choose one person - his wife or his family.// 

Agree. Also agree with your point of being judgemental about Sai.

As you have noted, there is a pattern in how he reacts during Sai vs Chavans. When things are normal between him and Sai, he sometimes supports her, sometimes advices her. When he is upset with Sai (regarding their relationship) he treats her as an opposition and throws her under the bus. When SaiRat conflict reaches breaking point, the fear of losing her makes him temporarily gather his courage and take a stand. Eg. MS and after returning from hospital.

By this analysis, it does look convincing that this is what the writers have sketched him to be. We see people who are quite good on their professional fronts, but when it comes to their personal life - be it handling  conflicts at home or in their relationship with their spouse, they falter. It's like peeling an onion - your worst flaws come out during difficult situations. 

I still believe that writers have messed up with the writing part though. They have made him dumber since the initial episodes. The lack of dialogues and monologues make his actions open to interpretation. One thing that intrigues me is hundreds of instances when Virat is about to say something  but gets interrupted. Either make him completely mute or let him finish the sentence. What's with the in-between? What could be the reason for not letting him finish his sentences? It will certainly earn him less hate than he gets. It has happened so many times, that it cannot be a coincidence.

I tried making sense of Virat's tendency to be so self-absorbed as to be blind to others POV. To me, this level of self-absorption definitely seems to come from  deep-rooted insecurities. These insecurity is beyond the deal marriage etc and seem to be founded in something fundamental - originating in his upbringing. From not ever feeling loved enough. What do you think?

This content was originally posted by-nethraa_99

I too love to read different POVs. It is like putting together a jigsaw puzzle isn't it? 

Reading your analysis has certainly highlighted a pattern.❤️

One way I would like to look at it is - as IPS Virat and as husband Virat. Virat prides himself on his sense of duty as well as on his pakki zubaan. In the initial days of his marriage, he looked upon Sai as his responsibility (atleast that's what he told himself). So ensuring that Sai was treated with fairness was part of his duty. And he felt no conflict of emotions then - it was duty vs family. And he found strength and consolation in choosing his duty.

Problem started when he started considering her as more than just a responsibility. His emotions came into the picture then. On one hand, he wanted Sai to be accepted by his family and on the other hand, wanted Sai to continue living in CN amidst all the challenges that were being thrown at her. He didn't handle this conflict of interest well. 

//From what I understand, Virat wants a smooth and happy life. He is not comfortable to tackle any issues. He doesn't want to be put in a position where he has to choose one person - his wife or his family.// 

Agree. Also agree with your point of being judgemental about Sai.

As you have noted, there is a pattern in how he reacts during Sai vs Chavans. When things are normal between him and Sai, he sometimes supports her, sometimes advices her. When he is upset with Sai (regarding their relationship) he treats her as an opposition and throws her under the bus. When SaiRat conflict reaches breaking point, the fear of losing her makes him temporarily gather his courage and take a stand. Eg. MS and after returning from hospital.

By this analysis, it does look convincing that this is what the writers have sketched him to be. We see people who are quite good on their professional fronts, but when it comes to their personal life - be it handling  conflicts at home or in their relationship with their spouse, they falter. It's like peeling an onion - your worst flaws come out during difficult situations. 

I still believe that writers have messed up with the writing part though. They have made him dumber since the initial episodes. The lack of dialogues and monologues make his actions open to interpretation. One thing TT hat intrigues me is hundreds of instances when Virat is about to say something  but gets interrupted. What could be the reason for not letting him finish his sentences? It will certainly earn him less hate than he gets. It has happened so many times, that it cannot be a coincidence.

I tried making sense of Virat's tendency to be so self-absorbed as to be blind to others POV. To me, this level of self-absorption definitely seems to come from  deep-rooted insecurities. These insecurity is beyond the deal marriage etc and seem to be founded in something fundamental - originating in his upbringing. From not ever feeling loved enough. What do you think?

Yeah, I love this because it is like solving a puzzle. I love puzzles 💕.

I have been trying to notice this pattern for quite a while, that is how I could even understand his behavior. You have deduced it right and described the layers of his character well. Glad you got it. 

Will reply in detail tomorrow. 

@last para He was loved by his mom unconditionally. 

None of these looks like not being loved enough, it looks like it is because of how Ashwini has been in the family. Ashwini loves everyone, is a nice person, good at heart, he has found the same qualities in Sai but Sai’s nature is completely opposite to that of his mom. As much as those nature are appealing or attractive or impressive, it is not helping him live a normal, simple and happy life that he wishes to have. 

I have to give a thought about his self absorbed nature a little more. It could be that he had to make a lot of compromise in his house and from Sai, his wife, he wants things his way. He has probably got too tired that he wants someone to let go of everything and anything for his sake. He wants Sai to focus on him, his happiness . He wants her to give him utmost priority. He had probably tried to please people enough, acting a good son, nephew, brother, probably has been too understanding. So he is now tired, frustrated, thinks that he wants someone who could be nice to him, with whom he doesn’t have to do any of these. 

Below is my another theory because I am not sure if the above would have really been true. The reason being he wasn’t abused by the elders or wasn’t criticised as much as his brother or his mom. 

Another theory which looks more probable to me. 

It is not like he has not been happy in his house or not got love or affection or even attention, he has done many things on his own to please people, to maintain a good image of himself even if he doesn’t approve of it or if he has not been happy about it. I would only say that there would have been some expectations but some are his own doings. He had tried to please everyone, tried to do things on his own against his own wishes thinking that it would make them proud of him. He wanted that, he wanted approval from Kaku, wanted her to be impressed with him, proud of him. 

Kaku and his Dad’s nature could be a reason for him to have developed this kind of an attitude. They are not people who have been happy with Ashwini, they have always been criticising her, has put her down, disrespected her. He wanted to become or act in such a way that he will be liked by them, will be praised by them, someone whom they will feel proud of, the exact opposite of how they would have been with Ashwini or anyone whom they dislike. It could have been with Mohit too. 

 He has seen his mom too doing a few things out of fear, respect which has led her to face less criticism.

Has also noticed how Sonali or some people have got some attention, have been able to make his Kaku and Dad happy. His good moral values imbibed by his mom has helped him in not developing any qualities like Kaku, Ninad, Omi or Sonali. He seems to have developed his own mechanism of living. Act morally right but at the same time not go against any of these people, do things that could impress them like his academic achievements or acting obedient or acting respectfully even when they are wrong or by turning blind eyes too if needed. 

 In the process of trying to impress them, trying to see pride in them for him, he has seem to have compromised a lot. It looks to me like it was his own choice to do it, he did it voluntarily, expecting something fruitful out of it. So, even though he did it all khushi khushi, now he is frustrated and tired. That is why he has probably turned into this self absorbed person. A person who feels sorry for himself a lot. A person who wallows in self pity. A person who is thirsty of love and attention. 

From what I see he loves the free bird Sai and so is thirsty of her love, care and attention. He is extremely possessive. He likes to keep things going smooth because he doesn’t like when things go wrong between him and Sai. He loves her for being bold, courageous, selfless, truthful, for being honest but doesn’t really understand or doesn’t want to understand that when a person possesses these qualities, they will face a lot of hurdles, hardships, and will end up in conflicts especially when the other person is someone like his family. 

He doesn’t understand that due the nature of Sai that he loves, she will protest, revolt, rebel when something is  going wrong in front of her, she will raise her voice when people are being unfair. When she does these at home, it disrupts the peace that he likes to have, that he desires. It also ends up in them being on different sides since it is his own family whom she goes against. He has to choose whether he likes her to be righteous or whether she should turn blind to unfair things around her. He can’t have both 🤣. Her qualities and nature is pulling him towards her but life doesn’t work the way he wants or expects. Her nature, her temper doesn’t help sometimes and he is failing to accept the whole of her. He is expecting changes in her in just a few months time when he was conditioned to behave this way since he was born and brought up in this family. Sai’s righteous nature will never let her compromise on certain things and he has to come to terms with that. Yes, she falters but that is not the case always and his opinion about her isn’t helping both of them. His mom has understood Sai well, she has accepted her as it is. She is okay with what Sai does. 

Ashwini knows, has understood when Sai fights, she knows who was right and who was wrong. Virat has formed an opinion in this too that Ashwini would support Sai even when Sai is wrong since she loves Sai. 

He is forgetting that it is not just enough to keep correcting Sai or keep expecting from Sai, he has to do something about his family, has to make them accept her rather than forcing her on them. Some of his problems will get solved if they stop harassing her or they stop troubling her. Some will get solved when Pakhi’s issues gets revolved. But the main problem will get resolved only when he brings in some changes within him - lowers his expectations from Sai, stops taking entire liberty on her, think about her too, think about her feelings, her hurt as well, ultimately when he stops to take her for granted. 

I am not sure if you have got what I have tried to convey. 

Will cover the rest of the post tomorrow. 

This content was originally posted by-laksh

@last para He was loved by his mom unconditionally. 

'Not loved enough' was not correct. He was and is loved unconditionally by Ashwini. Sometimes I doubt if Ashwini may have been neglectful towards him in some ways - she herself was facing so many hardships in the house, it might have been natural. She would have found a way to survive by immersing herself in work, contributing in raising all the Chavan children etc. This is just a guess, since we don't know enough details.

None of these looks like not being loved enough, it looks like it is because of how Ashwini has been in the family. Ashwini loves everyone, is a nice person, good at heart, he has found the same qualities in Sai but Sai’s nature is completely opposite to that of his mom. As much as those nature are appealing or attractive or impressive, it is not helping him live a normal, simple and happy life that he wishes to have. 

I have to give a thought about his self absorbed nature a little more. It could be that he had to make a lot of compromise in his house and from Sai, his wife, he wants things his way. He has probably got too tired that he wants someone to let go of everything and anything for his sake. He wants Sai to focus on him, his happiness . He wants her to give him utmost priority. He had probably tried to please people enough, acting a good son, nephew, brother, probably has been too understanding. So he is now tired, frustrated, thinks that he wants someone who could be nice to him, with whom he doesn’t have to do any of these. 

Below is my another theory because I am not sure if the above would have really been true. The reason being he wasn’t abused by the elders or wasn’t criticised as much as his brother or his mom. 

Another theory which looks more probable to me. 

It is not like he has not been happy in his house or not got love or affection or even attention, he has done many things on his own to please people, to maintain a good image of himself even if he doesn’t approve of it or if he has not been happy about it. I would only say that there would have been some expectations but some are his own doings. He had tried to please everyone, tried to do things on his own against his own wishes thinking that it would make them proud of him. He wanted that, he wanted approval from Kaku, wanted her to be impressed with him, proud of him. 

Kaku and his Dad’s nature could be a reason for him to have developed this kind of an attitude. They are not people who have been happy with Ashwini, they have always been criticising her, has put her down, disrespected her. He wanted to become or act in such a way that he will be liked by them, will be praised by them, someone whom they will feel proud of, the exact opposite of how they would have been with Ashwini or anyone whom they dislike. It could have been with Mohit too. 

 He has seen his mom too doing a few things out of fear, respect which has led her to face less criticism.

Has also noticed how Sonali or some people have got some attention, have been able to make his Kaku and Dad happy. His good moral values imbibed by his mom has helped him in not developing any qualities like Kaku, Ninad, Omi or Sonali. He seems to have developed his own mechanism of living. Act morally right but at the same time not go against any of these people, do things that could impress them like his academic achievements or acting obedient or acting respectfully even when they are wrong or by turning blind eyes too if needed. 

 In the process of trying to impress them, trying to see pride in them for him, he has seem to have compromised a lot. It looks to me like it was his own choice to do it, he did it voluntarily, expecting something fruitful out of it. So, even though he did it all khushi khushi, now he is frustrated and tired. That is why he has probably turned into this self absorbed person. A person who feels sorry for himself a lot. A person who wallows in self pity. A person who is thirsty of love and attention. 

Agree with the part about Virat growing up trying to please and maintain a good image - except @bold. I don't think children have the ability to make concious choices - they lack the cognitive skills, especially in toxic situations that are beyond what their age can handle. Each child reacts instinctively on whatever helps them survive. The reactions may vary from child to child, but I don't believe any of it is concious. On the other hand, Ashwini's reactions to her situation was a concious one because she was an adult when she came to CN. I also don't believe he got love from anyone except his mother. Chavans are not capable of love - not even an unconditional one. For them, it's all about control. I would rather believe that Virat has Stockholm syndrome - conditioned to believe that he is loved by his abusers than that he received even an iota of it. And I believe it was abuse - deliberately keeping a child in fear of rejection or humiliation if he did not fulfil unreasonable expectations. I do believe that Virat was a victim in some ways. All this is no way to justify Virat's current behaviour, but to try to understand why he is the way he is.

From what I see he loves the free bird Sai and so is thirsty of her love, care and attention. He is extremely possessive. He likes to keep things going smooth because he doesn’t like when things go wrong between him and Sai. He loves her for being bold, courageous, selfless, truthful, for being honest but doesn’t really understand or doesn’t want to understand that when a person possesses these qualities, they will face a lot of hurdles, hardships, and will end up in conflicts especially when the other person is someone like his family. 

He doesn’t understand that due the nature of Sai that he loves, she will protest, revolt, rebel when something is  going wrong in front of her, she will raise her voice when people are being unfair. When she does these at home, it disrupts the peace that he likes to have, that he desires. It also ends up in them being on different sides since it is his own family whom she goes against. He has to choose whether he likes her to be righteous or whether she should turn blind to unfair things around her. He can’t have both 🤣. Her qualities and nature is pulling him towards her but life doesn’t work the way he wants or expects. Her nature, her temper doesn’t help sometimes and he is failing to accept the whole of her. He is expecting changes in her in just a few months time when he was conditioned to behave this way since he was born and brought up in this family. Sai’s righteous nature will never let her compromise on certain things and he has to come to terms with that. Yes, she falters but that is not the case always and his opinion about her isn’t helping both of them. His mom has understood Sai well, she has accepted her as it is. She is okay with what Sai does. 

Ashwini knows, has understood when Sai fights, she knows who was right and who was wrong. Virat has formed an opinion in this too that Ashwini would support Sai even when Sai is wrong since she loves Sai. 

Yes, he wants to be with Sai for her courage, her goodness and her ability to love fiercely. At the same time he wants her to be mellow and act according to his ideals. Dude, you can't have the best of both worlds 😅. 

He is forgetting that it is not just enough to keep correcting Sai or keep expecting from Sai, he has to do something about his family, has to make them accept her rather than forcing her on them. Some of his problems will get solved if they stop harassing her or they stop troubling her. Some will get solved when Pakhi’s issues gets revolved. But the main problem will get resolved only when he brings in some changes within him - lowers his expectations from Sai, stops taking entire liberty on her, think about her too, think about her feelings, her hurt as well, ultimately when he stops to take her for granted. 

When I was super mad at Virat a couple of days ago, I made a post on whether Virat has even a single good quality. It was from the point of view of Virat doing atleast one thing right that will convince us to ship SaiRat. If he had just one of these qualities - he stands up for Sai at crucial times, atleast understands Sai's difficulties, is not self-absorbed, doesn't act inhuman when enraged, does not have male ego - there would be hope for the couple. Unfortunately he has too many flaws (and burdened with an abusive family) to make a successful marriage. Virat has got a lot of work to do on himself. If SaiRat were to move out of CN, and were to take marriage  counselling sessions there is a chance - but it wouldn't happen. This is a  pretty clinical take, perhaps I'm wrong. 

I am not sure if you have got what I have tried to convey. 

Will cover the rest of the post tomorrow. 

This content was originally posted by-nethraa_99

I am sorry, I have been trying to withdraw from the forum but ended up joining the EDT on Tuesday night and commenting in a few posts yesterday. Didn't join last EDT last night or even the forum today. 

I will reply to this post by tonight if possible since we were already in a discussion. Didn't realise that I had not replied to this, will reply soon and don't want to leave this hanging like this. 

This content was originally posted by-laksh

I am sorry, I have been trying to withdraw from the forum but ended up joining the EDT on Tuesday night and commenting in a few posts yesterday. Didn't join last EDT last night or even the forum today. 

I will reply to this post by tonight if possible since we were already in a discussion. Didn't realise that I had not replied to this, will reply soon and don't want to leave this hanging like this. 

You are so sweet.❤️ I saw a few posts where you mentioned trying to withdraw from the forum and I understood. It is a good move because the forum is more addictive than the show. 😄